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How Visitation Rights Work For Fathers

By: Chris Nickson - Updated: 20 Oct 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Separated Dads Visitation Rights Contact

As a father you want to stay in close touch with your children, even after you and your partner have separated. Obviously, the best and simplest way to do this is an agreement between you and your ex, which can be made legally binding by solicitors. This means it doesn’t have to go through the courts, and will work when relations between the pair of you are amicable.

If you have Parental Responsibility, either by being married to the mother when the child was born, being present when the birth was registered and having your name on the birth certificate as the father, or through a Parental Responsibility Agreement or Parental Responsibility Order, you have rights and responsibilities to your children.

Obviously, part of that is support in financial terms, but also in emotional and legal terms, too. In return, you have contact with your children. Family Courts have a principle called “presumption of contact”, under which they have to do everything possible for fathers to see their children.

Contact Orders

Very often, Court-issued Contact Orders prove unnecessary, since arrangements will have been worked out privately or in mediation between the two parents. However, even where a Contact Order is issued, often the parents are allowed to work out the details for themselves. Before any Contact Order is issued, however, the court must take several things into consideration:

  • What the child wishes, if he or she is old enough to make any kind of decision
  • The educational and emotional needs of the child
  • Whether there’s any risk of harm to the child
  • Whether you’re capable of meeting the child’s needs during contact

These might seem possibly weighted against you, but the sole intent is for the welfare of the child. In the vast majority of cases – well over 90% – Contact Orders are granted. If it’s come to a hearing, one important factor will be the report by the Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. Both parents, as well as other carers and teachers, will have been interviewed, and in most cases the court accepts the report as it stands (although you can challenge part of it or even ask for a new report from a different officer if you disagree).

Residence Order

A Residence Order determines who the children should live with. If none has been issued, then the children will stay with their mother. You can apply for a Residence Order to have full custody of your children, but realistically speaking, unless there are pressing reasons they should not stay with their mother, it’s unlikely your request will be granted custody.

Things Not To Do

When you have contact with the children, you should not attempt to take them out of the country without written permission from their mother. Even if it’s for a holiday, this needs to be discussed and permission in writing given. While you have the children, don’t say negative things about your ex-partner. It creates confusion and a bad atmosphere for the children. You have more positive things to concentrate on during your time with them, anyway.

Take at look at our article Making the Most of Your Time With Your Child for some ideas about what you can do together.

Check out the Separated Dads Forum... It's a great resource where you can ask for advice on topics including Child Access, Maintenance, CAFCASS, Fathers Rights, Court, Behaviour or simply to have a chat with other dads.

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[Add a Comment]
My children dad has started a new relationship and he has now stated he only wants the 4 children 4 days a month now instead of the Saturday Sunday he has had them every week in the last 9 years! He recently dropped this and asked could we do 3 weekends and one weekend to himself! Which I agreed too... my problem is I have 4 children one with Autism who will not understand the change and looks forward to dads time, and worked for both myself and dad as I opted to work weekends as this is better for the children! What action can I take or what’s the right avenue to go down.
Kelli - 20-Oct-17 @ 9:13 AM
Kit - Your Question:
I had a fling several years ago and when I told my "partner" that I thought I was pregnant, he cut all contact with me. We unfortunately were young, stupid and didn't know each other very well. I now have an eight year old who I have raised singlehandedly but I keep wondering if I should write to the dad to let him know we are here, that I did not terminate etc. I was hurt and I did not pursue the dad in any shape or form. My fear is him being granted 50/50 custody hence me not chasing him. I wouldn't mind my child and the dad getting to know each other but this father of my child is effectively a stranger, I don't know if I can trust him. I don't know if he has grown to be "in the best interest" of our child and obviously if courts get involved, the whole thing is taken out of my hands. He has no idea of our child's name, age, gender or even where to find me since we have moved 9 times. I didn't mean to alienate but I sort of went into protective mode. My child is aware of who dad is and that some daddies just aren't ready to be daddies - I never talked bad and so my child has developed a natural curiosity. I really wish they could know each other (if they both want that) without so much fear on my part of what could go wrong in court. Where do I stand legally? Dad would never be able to find me. Only I can find him. Would this go against me? It is only my word against his that I told him I thought I was pregnant.

Our Response:
If the father of your child is not named on the birth certificate, then he currently has no rights. Neither would he have any rights to 50/50 shared care, a court would never hand a child over to a parent they do not know. However, he would be entitled to apply for parental responsibility through mediation or the courts and contact if he wishes (although if your child has never met his father, then contact would be limited/supervised at first). The emotional side of the decision, is really up to you regarding whether you should approach him or not, that we cannot advise you on. There are many reasons why the father might have decided not to pursue you through the courts (he could apply to the courts to find you, if he wished). Therefore, you may wish to take tentative steps if you wish to get back in touch. As you say, you want to make decisions based upon what you feel is in the best interests of your son and this should always come first.
SeparatedDads - 19-Oct-17 @ 12:53 PM
I had a fling several years ago and when I told my "partner" that I thought I was pregnant, he cut all contact with me. We unfortunately were young, stupid and didn't know each other very well. I now have an eight year old who I have raised singlehandedly but I keep wondering if I should write to the dad to let him know we are here, that I did not terminate etc. I was hurt and I did not pursue the dad in any shape or form. My fear is him being granted 50/50 custody hence me not chasing him. I wouldn't mind my child and the dad getting to know each other but this father of my child is effectively a stranger, I don't know if I can trust him. I don't know if he has grown to be "in the best interest" of our child and obviously if courts get involved, the whole thing is taken out of my hands. He has no idea of our child's name, age, gender or even where to find me since we have moved 9 times. I didn't mean to alienate but I sort of went into protective mode. My child is aware of who dad is and that some daddies just aren't ready to be daddies - I never talked bad and so my child has developed a natural curiosity. I really wish they could know each other (if they both want that) without so much fear on my part of what could go wrong in court. Where do I stand legally? Dad would never be able to find me. Only I can find him. Would this go against me? It is only my word against his that I told him I thought I was pregnant.
Kit - 18-Oct-17 @ 3:37 AM
Ann - Your Question:
HiMy ex-partner and I had a on and off relationship with violence and even the my son being in Child Protection Plan once, I fled the house and currently in a Women's refuge however I am pregnant and the father has PR for our son as he registered him. He hasn't seen our boy yet and I am worried if the courts forces me to facilitate visitations. Could you please advise me on my rights? I haven't applied for Child Maintenance to avoid him finding us or give him more reason to start looking for us.

Our Response:
If the father wishes to try to trace you, he can do through the courts. Much depends upon how insistent he is with regards to attempting to find you. If you can prove your ex was violent, then the court will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children. Therefore, contact or access will be more difficult for him to obtain. If you do decide to apply for child maintenance, the fact he is responsible for paying towards their day-to-day upkeep does not give him the automatic right to see the children. Only a court can decide that, where you refuse.
SeparatedDads - 17-Oct-17 @ 2:58 PM
Hi My ex-partner and I had a on and off relationship with violence and even the my son being in Child Protection Plan once, I fled the house and currently in a Women's refuge however I am pregnant and the father has PR for our son as he registered him. He hasn't seen our boy yet and I am worried if the courts forces me to facilitate visitations . Could you please advise me on my rights? I haven't applied for Child Maintenance to avoid him finding us or give him more reason to start looking for us.
Ann - 13-Oct-17 @ 3:06 PM
Scottie - Your Question:
Hi I am currently trying to see me 3 year old son , am constantly being denied access even though I have paid maintenance up to date which is now being handled through the csa , ive been to mediation which my ex did not attend her appointment , I know I have to fight this through court to get to see him but until I have the funds and have done so is there anything I can do ? If I go to the house she classes it as harrasment , if I email requesting to see him I amBarraged back with abuse , I have blocked her texts because its relentless abuse , so I strictly use email - still get the abuse but its generally a long written essay rather than lots of texts , ive been to my boys nursrey an its like shes physcik the days I go hes not there ( unless they are lying to me ) I hVnt seen him for a month now - surely I can do something to see him ? I need to see him breakingMy heart that I cant - and I jus keep thinking that if hes missing meAs much as I miss him then hes hurting too even though hes to young too understand he probly jus thinks daddys gone an doesnt care -

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this.If you are on a low income, you may be able to get a reduction in court costs, please see link here. Likewise, you can self-litigate, please see link here . Joining the Separated Dads forum will also help you when and where you need advice.
SeparatedDads - 9-Oct-17 @ 12:56 PM
Hi i am currently trying to see me 3 year old son , am constantly being denied access even though i have paid maintenance up to date which is now being handled through the csa , ive been to mediation which my ex did not attend her appointment , i know i have to fight this through court to get to see him but until i have the funds and have done so is there anything i can do ? If i go to the house she classes it as harrasment , if i email requesting to see him i am Barraged back with abuse , i have blocked her texts because its relentless abuse , so i strictly use email - still get the abuse but its generally a long written essay rather than lots of texts , ive been to my boys nursrey an its like shes physcik the days i go hes not there ( unless they are lying to me ) i hVnt seen him for a month now - surely i can do something to see him ? I need to see him breaking My heart that i cant - and i jus keep thinking that if hes missing me As much as i miss him then hes hurting too even though hes to young too understand he probly jus thinks daddys gone an doesnt care -
Scottie - 8-Oct-17 @ 3:54 PM
Jajaja - Your Question:
I have just split from my daughters mother, my daughter is 5 months, she is happy for me to see her but not let me bring her to my house, she thinks she is too young, I really want to be able to have her at mine, is she too young to come or even stay, what rights as a father do I have ??

Our Response:
If the mother does not agree to your having unsupervised access then you would have to either try to resolve this between you, or suggest mediation, please see link here . If your ex refuses mediation, then your only recourse would be to apply to court. As in all cases, the court’s main concern is the welfare of the child in question. The court will always put the child’s best interests first and this main issue will determine the outcome of any application for an order. However, if you have been an hands-on date to date there is no reason why a court wouldn't award you this, as I'm sure you are quite capable of looking after your child.
SeparatedDads - 29-Sep-17 @ 3:27 PM
I have just split from my daughters mother, my daughter is 5 months, she is happy for me to see her but not let me bring her to my house, she thinks she is too young, I really want to be able to have her at mine, is she too young to come or even stay, what rights as a father do I have ??
Jajaja - 29-Sep-17 @ 6:58 AM
Jajaja - Your Question:
Me and my partner recently split we have a 5 month old child, what are my visiting rights is she old enough to be at mine or to stay ?

Our Response:
Arrangements such as this should be decided between you and your ex-partner mutually. If and where you cannot agree, then mediation is your next option, please see link here .
SeparatedDads - 28-Sep-17 @ 10:51 AM
Me and my partner recently split we have a 5 month old child, what are my visiting rights is she old enough to be at mine or to stay ?
Jajaja - 27-Sep-17 @ 11:19 AM
Cloudy - Your Question:
My partner has a very combative relationship with his ex. In fact she's a trigger for his PTSD. She has been very vocal in the past re him not seeing them enough, even though with his condition he struggles. So myself or his mum are usually present to help him cope and alleviate stress. Due to her dislike of me, she has stopped him seeing the kids if I'm present. So seeing as I'm his support system and the only one who drives, i.e. For collection on overnight stays etc , he now has to go to his mums to see them. When she agrees he can see them that is. All visitations are on her terms and so since he is not on either birth certificate we asked for private DNA tests to be done so he has proof, can register to be added to their birth certs and have proper rights. In the beginning she agreed to private tests but now as something hadn't gone her way she has refused to let him spend time with them on the last 4 requests made for visits. Even denying him time to see his eldest on his birthday and he was told to bring the present to his front door but no visitation time allowed! She has now said no to private (I might add legal tests admissible in court) and said she won't do anything unless it's through family court?! So how do we go about this as my partner wants to see his kids but due to her past behaviour wants the tests done so he has absolute proof they are his kids. There is doubt there. Thanks

Our Response:
Your partner's only recourse is to apply to court. You partner can apply for a declaration of parentage, in which case the court may decide to order a DNA test, please see link here. If the test comes back positive and shows he is the father, he can apply for contact. If he doesn't want to do the test, but is content that he is the children's father and wishes to see them (and where his ex refuses mediation to try to resolve the issue) then he can apply for a C100 Contact Order through the courts. Please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 26-Sep-17 @ 11:18 AM
My partner has a very combative relationship with his ex. In fact she's a trigger for his PTSD. She has been very vocal in the past re him not seeing them enough, even though with his condition he struggles. So myself or his mum are usually present to help him cope and alleviate stress. Due to her dislike of me, she has stopped him seeing the kids if I'm present. So seeing as I'm his support system and the only one who drives, i.e. For collection on overnight stays etc , he now has to go to his mums to see them. When she agrees he can see them that is. All visitations are on her terms and so since he is not on either birth certificate we asked for private DNA tests to be done so he has proof, can register to be added to their birth certs and have proper rights. In the beginning she agreed to private tests but now as something hadn't gone her way she has refused to let him spend time with them on the last 4 requests made for visits. Even denying him time to see his eldest on his birthday and he was told to bring the present to his front door but no visitation time allowed! She has now said no to private (I might add legal tests admissible in court) and said she won't do anything unless it's through family court?! So how do we go about this as my partner wants to see his kids but due to her past behaviour wants the tests done so he has absolute proof they are his kids. There is doubt there. Thanks
Cloudy - 25-Sep-17 @ 3:59 PM
zoe - Your Question:
My ex and I broke up while I was pregnant. he was present at the birth and when we registered our son. he has always paid maintenance and we get on very well. his time with our son started off for 3 hours 3 times a week (this was when he was very small and still breastfeeding.) once the boy was old enough we upped the time to 3 nights a week and every other weekend he would sleep Friday and Saturday being dropped off Sunday afternoon. when the child and I moved his dad decided to drop his time to once a week for 3 hours but still every other weekend. this time suited and we've never had a falling out over visitation. he is a very devoted father and my son loves spending time with him. I brought up the subject with his father about changing visitation times as 8 o'clock is too late to bring him home on a school night (my son is 4 and needs to be in bed by 8 or I can't wake him the next morning.) I was offering to move the time in the week to the weekend when the father tells me he has been to a solicitors who have told him his rights are to have our son all weekend every weekend. he said he didn't want to do that and so was proposing he has him two weekends in a row then I get one weekend and he's back to two. I am not happy with this offer. even though my son lives with me I don't think his father appreciates the fact that we don't spend any quality time together in the week as there is not enough time after school. our evenings consist of homework, dinner, bath and bed with no time for anything else. I appreciate that he wants as much time with our son as he can but considering I'm doing all the work raising our child and trying to counteract how spoilt he is at his dad's I don't think I should have to give my time up. any advice please?

Our Response:
It's a shame that communication has broken down. The courts will not allow your child's father to apply until you have explored mediation as a way of resolving these issues. Standard/formulaic court access for non-resident consistent parents is overnight stays every other weekend and one or two nights in the week and can be built/negotiated around from there. Therefore, there is no guarantee a court would offer him every weekend. The court anyway will always decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your child, there are no set 'rights'. So, if you cannot agree between you, I suggest that you request to your ex you both attend mediation to attempt to resolve these issues. Mediation is a formal negotiation and courts can accept the agreement of the mediation instead of having to go through the court process, although it is subject to final court approval. The primary reason that mediation is obligatory before and application to court will be considered, is that mediation is an opportunity to come to a mutually agreed decision, one that both parents can take ownership of and want to ensure works. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 5-Sep-17 @ 11:09 AM
my ex and I broke up while I was pregnant. he was present at the birth and when we registered our son. he has always paid maintenance and we get on very well. his time with our son started off for 3 hours 3 times a week (this was when he was very small and still breastfeeding.) once the boy was old enough we upped the time to 3 nights a week and every other weekend he would sleep Friday and Saturday being dropped off Sunday afternoon. when the child and I moved his dad decided to drop his time to once a week for 3 hours but still every other weekend. this time suited and we've never had a falling out over visitation. he is a very devoted father and my son loves spending time with him. I brought up the subject with his father about changing visitation times as 8 o'clock is too late to bring him home on a school night (my son is 4 and needs to be in bed by 8 or I can't wake him the next morning.) I was offering to move the time in the week to the weekend when the father tells me he has been to a solicitors who have told him his rights are to have our son all weekend every weekend. he said he didn't want to do that and so was proposing he has him two weekends in a row then I get one weekend and he's back to two. I am not happy with this offer. even though my son lives with me I don't think his father appreciates the fact that we don't spend any quality time together in the week as there is not enough time after school. our evenings consist of homework, dinner, bath and bed with no time for anything else. I appreciate that he wants as much time with our son as he can but considering I'm doing all the work raising our child and trying to counteract how spoilt he is at his dad's I don't think I should have to give my time up. any advice please?
zoe - 4-Sep-17 @ 5:48 PM
@Brooke249 - if you have tried mediation and you cannot get a regular order in place, then court is the best option here. If a court order is awarded - your ex will have to keep to it or he will be in breach.
Matty - 10-Aug-17 @ 3:52 PM
Me and our little ones dad broke up a year ago it's been a constant struggle with him and his family! So last month we was meant to go to mediation (FOC because of the benefits I currently receive - start work again next month yay!) but a few days before withdraw consent. Iv had enough and with advice from my solicitor to stop contact and let him take me to court so something consistent can happen. So I messaged him the other day saying look I don't want to stop seeing our little one but we need something in place that is consistent for her. Well we went round and round in circles saying how the old agreement for him worked great which in fact it didn't because him and his family wouldn't see her because they would give me 'notice' so would only see her once a month instead if the agreement he put in place of every weekend. So I kept having to repeat myself saying it's not fulfilling for LO and that a new one had to be arranged. So I said every other week, once a month, once 3 monthly or once a year you tell me so we can work around you and your work. Got a message back saying once a month will do! Gob smacked so I sent a message saying ok last weekend of the month have him the dates for the next six months to then get a message back going nope Iv got pre made plans, I messaged back saying she shall see you end of sept then. His reply was in having her Christmas!! Again gob smacked! My reply was the next 6 month dates are there and unfortunately Christmas doesn't fall on any of them and your wish was to have her once a month. Little one is nearly 2 once a month really is not fulfilling for her and trying to get a decent conversation out of him is like getting blood out of a stone. He tells me I'm the bully and nasty one when really it's him and his family and only them lot can't see it. So shall I go with the advice from my family law solicitor and stop contact and get a court order or keep doing what I'm doing which is no good for my little one or me!
Brooke249 - 10-Aug-17 @ 1:56 PM
I a separated from my ex wife, I moved out the house in February before i moved out we lived for a year in the same house but no longer in a relationship as she said it would effect the two children (father on birth certificate) if they knew that we had ended our relationship, I work full time with a rotating day off meaning in work 4 out of every 5 Saturdays, unfortunately I could only afford to move to a room in a shared house so I can not accommodate the children or take them to my accommodation, . But moving out everything has been on her terms. initially as I work full time I was seeing the two children three days during the week on one week and three days during the week with either a Saturday or Sunday as an extra day for the following week. But she changed this and said that I need to do three days during one week and two days during the next as well as Saturday and Sunday, if I didnt agree to her days then she would refuse to let me see our children altogether, I had not choice but to agree but with work and travel to my new pace this leaves me very drained, tired and little time to administrate myself not to mention petrol and food costs when I take them out, I'm sort of digging a bank balance hole, but my main issue is the fact she has refused to allow me to take them to see my family my sister or the grandparents she is happy taking them but will no allow me to , she has no problem with me taking them anywhere else. But my parents do not want to see her and they live 5 hrs away my mum is ill and may not last another year she knows this but still refuses on the basis she does not trust me to have them for a period that extends 12 hours? This make no sense whatsoever, but I compromised and said i would drive us all to see the grandparents so she would have joint care of the children also would have her own room, but she refused saying she would only visit on her own with the children. And does not allow permission to take the children to see either my sister or grandparents, legally I have every right to but if I did I'm sure she would stop me seeing the kids alltogether, or call the police saying I had abducted them or was worried about my state of mind, which would not bide well with any possible future custody orders she knows I can not afford mediation or a solicitor and I am not entitled to legal aid(also paying her agreed maintenance Weekley) and now she she introduced her new man to the kids (I'm not allowed to introduce anyone) she also wants me to find new accommodation that accommodates children for rainy days...i can not afford to, and is pushing for me to extend my visiting hours, I feel frustrated and at a loss at her becon call . And when Ido have the kids she regular changes pick up location within a hour of collecting the kids
mark77 - 10-Aug-17 @ 9:08 AM
Louielou13 - Your Question:
Me and my partner have a very very rocky relationship and things are quickly going down bank. We have a 5 month old baby together and to be honest I'm staying with him as I don't trust him at all with my baby. He is snappy, short tempered, when he is drunk he is violent. He also is addicted to prescription drugs which he is seeking help for. What do I do and who do I see for help?

Our Response:
Talking to the likes of Family Lives may help you further, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 7-Aug-17 @ 2:34 PM
Me and my partner have a very very rocky relationship and things are quickly going down bank. We have a 5 month old baby together and to be honest I'm staying with him as I don't trust him at all with my baby. He is snappy, short tempered, when he is drunk he is violent. He also is addicted to prescription drugs which he is seeking help for. What do I do and who do I see for help?
Louielou13 - 5-Aug-17 @ 9:00 PM
hello, i broke up with my childrens father about a year and a half ago. Since then I have met somebody else and recently moved in with him. Before the move I lived in the same town as my ex but now i live 25 miles away. From the town he lives in there are regular busses every 20 minutes to the nearest larger town which is half way between where he lives and where I live. We agreed to him having the girls aged 3 and 4 friday after nursery until 4pm on a sunday. He was fine with this unyil I moved but now he is saying he wont come and meet me to get the children as it was my choice to move. I also said that on a sunday my partner and I will drive the full 25 miles to pick the girls up from him.therefore we would be doing 3 quaters of the journeys. the childrens father is unemployed and there is no reason why he cant collect them.My partner however works a 9 and a half hour shift on a friday so it would be unfair to ask him to drive 45 mins on a friday to drop the girls off and drive 45 mins back. This is the reason i asled the ex to meet me halfway on a friday. I also have family living in the same town as my ex so a sunday is an ideal time to spend the day visiting them and taking the girls to see them once i have them back. The kids dad says i am being unreasonable because he doesnt want to bring his other child he has acess to on the weekends, on the bus to meet me at 5pm to get the children. I just wanted to know if it would seem i am being unreasonable or if i am being as fair as i think i am. I just want him to make some effort to see his children, is that fair? Any help would be much appreciated. thankyou so much for reading. nicole
niki - 26-Jul-17 @ 12:39 PM
Donna Louise- Your Question:
Hi my ex and I broke up before I found out I was pregnant. He has been seeing her once a week but has t seen her since fathers day as he don't get the same day off each week. He lets me know a day before and I already have plans so ca t commit to it. He has now said he has a letter to send to me and I'm worried what it is. He said this situation reds to move forward. I'm worried as she is inly 4mo this and has never been left without me and he has never fed her or changed her nappy. I have never once said he can't see her it's always been the opposite but I'm so anxious about this letter.

Our Response:
If you do not agree with the contents of the letter and to your ex's suggestions, you can refuse. However, it sounds as though you may need to make other arrangements if the current ones are not working. Therefore, if neither of you can agree to a suitable arrangement then mediation should be the next port of call, please see link here . If you refuse to attend mediation, then your ex will have the option to apply to court.
SeparatedDads - 11-Jul-17 @ 11:59 AM
Hi my ex and I broke up before I found out I was pregnant.He has been seeing her once a week but has t seen her since fathers day as he don't get the same day off each week.He lets me know a day before and I already have plans so ca t commit to it.He has now said he has a letter to send to me and I'm worried what it is.He said this situation reds to move forward.I'm worried as she is inly 4mo this and has never been left without me and he has never fed her or changed her nappy.I have never once said he can't see her it's always been the opposite but I'm so anxious about this letter.
Donna Louise - 10-Jul-17 @ 6:23 PM
My ex is going for supervised visits to see our children as myself and social servicesbelieve there are safeguarding issues my ex was told in front of me by a solicitor that he would not have to pay as he is in full receipt of benefit is this true if so how does he get it?
Emma - 9-Jul-17 @ 10:04 PM
Kells - Your Question:
HI I been separated from my partner for about a month and have 3 kids with her, I am currently homeless and sleeping at different friends houses. My partner is actually letting me see my kids but because I'm homeless I have no where for them to stay overnight, I am trying to get accommodation from my local council but they won't help me unless I get an official document saying we have shared custody. My ex can simply write a letter stating this but is refusing, I offered mediation and she refused that as well. She knows perfectly well I can't afford a three bedroom house as I have 2 boys and 1 girl and is doing this out of spite. I fear this situation will cause problems regarding my relationship with my kids in the future.Any advice on what I can do would be much appreciated

Our Response:
Your ex should only write a letter stating you have shared care of your children, if that is the arrangement you have agreed to. Your only recourse is to seek legal advice regarding this matter.
SeparatedDads - 6-Jul-17 @ 2:02 PM
HI I been separated from my partner for about a month and have 3 kids with her,I am currently homeless and sleeping at different friends houses. My partner is actually letting me see my kids but because I'm homeless I have no where for them to stay overnight, I am trying to get accommodation from my local council but they won't help me unless I get an official document saying we have shared custody. My ex can simply write a letter stating this but is refusing, I offered mediation and she refused that as well. She knows perfectly well I can't afford a three bedroom house as I have 2 boys and 1 girl and is doing this out of spite. I fear this situation will cause problems regarding my relationship with my kids in the future. Any advice on what I can do would be much appreciated
Kells - 5-Jul-17 @ 9:26 AM
Ash - Your Question:
Hi, my son has just split from his partner. She kicked him out of the house last week. Since then she has prevented my son from. Seeing his 3 month old baby. She says that she will never leave the babies side because she's a mum. When my son lived with her, he did all the night feeds, day time feeds, washed, dressed and played with him. He was being a good daddy. Now she's changed and doesn't want him to have access. She's turning up at his work place with the baby and asking for money. He got paid on Friday and has been saying he'll pay maintenance but could we agree on a days access. But she's still not slowing him. He's going to contact CSA and pay that way. But how can we get acces?Thank you.

Our Response:
Your son would have to suggest mediation to his ex in order to try to sort out the issue via a third party (if they cannot resolve it between themselves), please see link here. If his ex refuses mediation, then he would have to apply to take the matter to court. This can be a slow and painful process, so if he can attempt to sort the matter out without having to resort to court it will be best all round, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 27-Jun-17 @ 3:39 PM
Hi, my son has just split from his partner. She kicked him out of the house last week. Since then she has prevented my son from.Seeing his 3 month old baby. She says that she will never leave the babies side because she's a mum. When my son lived with her, he did all the night feeds, day time feeds, washed, dressed and played with him. He was being a good daddy. Now she's changed and doesn't want him to have access. She's turning up at his work place with the baby and asking for money. He got paid on Friday and has been saying he'll pay maintenance but could we agree on a days access. But she's still not slowing him. He's going to contact CSA and pay that way. But how can we get acces? Thank you.
Ash - 27-Jun-17 @ 9:56 AM
My sons has recently split from his ex, he has had to move back home, he has two children with her and recently she has started to become nasty, making detrimental comments on social media about his lack of good parenting- he sees the children every other weekend and one day during the week, they are only 3&1.He is a good dad, he works hard all weekMy son and pays full maintenance for the children,her family especially the mother also make nasty comments, when he asks her to stop, she gets worse - I would like some advice where we can go to get things put in writing legally to stop this.It is making things very difficult and I'm worried she will stop letting his have kids, she has also starting introducing different "friends" to the children and when my son objected, she became very unreasonable and said she tough basically.Sorry for babbling some advice would be good, thank u
Desperate - 21-Jun-17 @ 11:05 PM
None - Your Question:
Hi I am separated from my partner.I tried to resolve through mediation but she didn't come to mediation.nd at first hearing she said that I tried to kill my kids and her.which I never imagine in my life.she is got v bad depression nd on tablets is well. The next hearing is on 26 of July.nd court ask for police record my immigration which is in process.nd her nhs report.can you tell me plzz can I get visitation or no.your opinion plzzz.my solictor said hopefully you will get it.What your answer.is.?

Our Response:
Unless there is a very good reason that visitation/ access should not be awarded, and if you have had a good, continuous relationship with your kids to date, then there is no reason why a court would not award you contact with your children. The courts will always decide upon what it thinks is in the best interests of your children and having a relationship with both parents is seen as important. If a court order is awarded, then your ex will be obliged by law to keep to it.
SeparatedDads - 19-Jun-17 @ 3:44 PM
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