How Visitation Rights Work For Fathers
As a father you want to stay in close touch with your children, even after you and your partner have separated. Obviously, the best and simplest way to do this is an agreement between you and your ex, which can be made legally binding by solicitors. This means it doesn’t have to go through the courts, and will work when relations between the pair of you are amicable.
If you have Parental Responsibility, either by being married to the mother when the child was born, being present when the birth was registered and having your name on the birth certificate as the father, or through a Parental Responsibility Agreement or Parental Responsibility Order, you have rights and responsibilities to your children.
Obviously, part of that is support in financial terms, but also in emotional and legal terms, too. In return, you have contact with your children. Family Courts have a principle called “presumption of contact”, under which they have to do everything possible for fathers to see their children.
Contact Orders
Very often, court-issued contact orders prove unnecessary, since arrangements will have been worked out privately or in mediation between the two parents. However, even where a Contact Order is issued, often the parents are allowed to work out the details for themselves. Before any Contact Order is issued, however, the court must take several things into consideration:- What the child wishes, if he or she is old enough to make any kind of decision
- The educational and emotional needs of the child
- Whether there’s any risk of harm to the child
- Whether you’re capable of meeting the child’s needs during contact
These might seem possibly weighted against you, but the sole intent is for the welfare of the child. In the vast majority of cases – well over 90% – Contact Orders are granted. If it’s come to a hearing, one important factor will be the report by the Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) officer. Both parents, as well as other carers and teachers, will have been interviewed, and in most cases the court accepts the report as it stands (although you can challenge part of it or even ask for a new report from a different officer if you disagree).
Residence Order
A Residence Order determines who the children should live with. If none has been issued, then the children will stay with their mother. You can apply for a Residence Order to have full custody of your children, but realistically speaking, unless there are pressing reasons they should not stay with their mother, it’s unlikely your request will be granted custody.Things Not To Do
When you have contact with the children, you should not attempt to take them out of the country without written permission from their mother. Even if it’s for a holiday, this needs to be discussed and permission in writing given. While you have the children, don’t say negative things about your ex-partner. It creates confusion and a bad atmosphere for the children. You have more positive things to concentrate on during your time with them, anyway.
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Comments...
Hi my partner left me for another woman recently. He would not have the kids over night at his own flat, but had to take them miles away to his new girlfriends house. this was particularly hard to stop as the kids were upset if they didnt see daddy, also she has a big house, and is really nice say the kids. But now the dust has settled with xmas over I want me and my kids to have a settled life and want to stop the overnight stays as she is not there mum and I have never met her and I feel my ex is to dependent on her and will fit the kids round her not the other way around. I feel it is far to early for the kids who have just lost there dad from the family home to have to face his new girlfriend and her family and be mothered by someone else. I would never stop kids from staying overnight and I have told them that and asked him nicely, but the final straw was when he took days of work, cancelled seeing them and went off on holiday with her. he says I am bitter and twisted but all I want is to keep my family mine, and get used to lliving without dad in the home, and in time say after a year of him still being with this woman then maybe introducing sleepovers if need be!!! do you think ive blown it by letting them stay already at her house. My ex swears, has done drugs in the past and is of a different upbringing, he has also had very bad debts and this makes me want to limit his seeing the kids to one night through the school week and all day sunday. Do you think this is reasonable and possible. Many thanks
Mumamia - 27 January 2012 @ 11:00 PM
I have a 2 year old daughter me and her dad have split
He uses the baby against me sayin she's not staying over night this week
So I can go out...stupid things when all I want is a regulaur arrangement for
My daughter so her head isn't messed up...him and his parents made an arrangement
With me to have my daughter every friday night from 7pm and
Bring her back at 1.30 pm on saturday afternoon...this was the arrangment until they came back with an excuse this week saying they can't have her over night anymore because there to tired...when I have to look after her 7 days a week by myself plus I have 2 other children...they want the new arrangement of picking her up at 4pm friday and dropping her back off at 8 pm friday this isn't good enough I feel he should have more responsibility and not f*ck his daughter off when ever he feels like it so I've stopped them seein her and told them to take me to court as I just want an arrangment for my daughter so she has a stable up bringing...if they take me to court...how will it work?? Will he get so many days an so many nights? Or will he just get days??
shelleyjh - 21 January 2012 @ 3:36 PM
Now off to court for a fourth time as the mother of my 2 children has failed to fulfill the contact order again. She stopped contact completely for four months causing my daughter to break down at school and a caf referal to be made. The first 3 times she has been the applicant to court as she has nothing better to do other than harass me and my wife even though she has a new baby of her own with her step brother. I am going for residence this time as I have alot of evidence to back up emotional abuse using safeguarding regualtions. I am fearful that I won't get the residence order and another non defined contact order will be made which she will breach again leaving me with no contact again. I am seriously considering not taking them back after 1 of my sunday contacts if the court does not find in my favour. My daughter is Gilleick competant now so old enough to say she wants to live here so here it goes. Wish me luck
shadrak1982 - 19 December 2011 @ 9:45 AM
Me and my ex have just split up, I need advise on the stuff in the house he never wanted me to work I have a child with him he ended it,told me he doesnt want me anymore what are my rights as a mother we were dating for 3 years what am I entitle to and what can I do about the child visting her father she is 23months old?
bubbles - 14 December 2011 @ 2:13 PM
I am in the process of applying for Divorce as the relationship has broken down completely over for the last 2 years. We both have struggled hard to compromise for the sake of our 5 yrs old daughter but now it seems highly impossible to remedy the situation and very often we ended up having big argument. I have spoken to my wife about the divorce but she rather seems uninterested about our daughter's welfare and it appears I would need legal help to resolve many issues which are as follows:Spending time with my daughter including staying overnight and weekendsTaking my daughter on holiday and meet my family back in Mauritius. This is the biggest challenge I may face as my wife is not cooperative enough to let my daughter meet my family when we go to Mauritius. Would the court consider this?Since my dayghter was 3 months I have committed myself in the day to day care of my daughter. I took a night manager job in order to spend time and look after my daughter during the day and I am still doing it including daily school runs. What advice can you give me : My wish is that I have contact with my daughter and take parental res[ponsibilites after the seperation and also to go on holiday with my daughter to spend time with my family. Please advise
Carlos - 13 December 2011 @ 6:15 PM
I could really do with some advice on the matter of my eldest daughter no longer wanting to visit her dads every other w/end. My eldest is 8 yrs old & has a stronge mind of her own. I have sat & chatted to her about the reasons why. These reasons make me angry & disgusted. My 2nd daughter aged 6 is showing increased signs of anxiety behaviours.due to not wanting to face thier dads girl friend. My youngest daughter is just approaching 3. I have worked very hard to wean her soothers & the other miles stones in her younge life. Only for her dads girl friend to reverse it.They will not explain this to him, as he will not listen. If I try to explain this problem, he denies it. What can I do to resolve this problem. The children hate visiting him & I try to tell them, they need to see thier dad.spend quality time with him.What should I do?
bagpuss73 - 4 December 2011 @ 11:31 PM
I have worked very hard to keep my son in contact with his farther. In the last year my son, 8yrs, has refused to see him. The last time it was over 90 days before he would see him. In this time his farther made no attempt to contact him. In this time i learned my son was being sworn at, left alone and scared, screamed at, dumped on anyone who would have him and the final straw. His farther punch a solid door of its hinges because our son spilt a drink. He has made a small attempt to see him but im really frightened because he is wanting him on the weekends again and i dont think its safe. I suggested a contact centre to fill in short term to build up trust and he flew of the handel, showing up at my home with someone else dog. What do i do. Please any advice would be welcome. This man has treated me badly but i never thought he would be so aggressive with our child who is now scared but missing his farther. Am i being unreasonable.
lady in hullo - 30 November 2011 @ 10:40 PM
Hi, am a single mother to my 2 daughters (3yrs n 5 n half months) my ex the father of my 5 n half month old is wanting to take me to court for over night and alone visits, but I don't feel ready to leaVe her with him yet as I don't trust him for his mother not to be there with him (shes not allowed near us for demanding to take her n had to get police involved) is there any chance this can happen even without my permission?? Need advice on wot to do pls
natty - 28 November 2011 @ 5:20 PM
My boyfriend's ex wife won't allow his two boys over to my house or have anything to do with me if my boyfriend wants to have the boys at anytime or to stay with him say said he can't be with me and has to rent his own place or he has to stay at her place with them this is causing us great strain on relationship also the cost as he already pays maintenance childcare childminder and now looks like rent of a flat I have a house with plenty of room . Can his exwife dictate where he lives and who he lives with to and use contact with his boys to enforcethis at the moment he can only see them at her flat when she says so .
Lou - 13 November 2011 @ 10:34 AM
I'm not asking for custody as my son would be better where his mother resides, but I do want permanent weekly access, but I'm being denied this. She keep making plans for him to be away and never consults me, despite knowing I'd want to see my son (5y/o). This includes not alowed to see him over the Christmas period until 2013! I only get Christmas day and boxing day off as it is where as her company closes over the whole period. Is this right? Is this fair? I offered to pay maintenance directly to her rather tha CSA as they proved difficult to deal with, in an attempt to make things less formal and more friendly etc... She's refused. Acusing me of being untrustworthy, when it was her behaviour that caused all this. She has now married someone else and I feel I'm being pushed out of my sons life. Is there any solutions? Ammecable doesn't seem to work with her so should I contact the courts? It's not what I want to do but I just want regular access to my son, I don't think I'm being unreasonable!
Davey - 12 November 2011 @ 8:45 AM
my ex partener had our child 2 weeks ago and wont allow me any access or even the childs name and has now contacted the police as ive been asking if i can see my son and asking about him,police have contacted me to tell me ive done nothing wrong but am now feeling trapped and dont know what to do
mr p - 9 November 2011 @ 10:58 AM
My partner has started getting overnight contact with his children, it is stated in a coiurt order that we collect the children in the morning and then mother is to collect the children at home time. Mother is now saying we "HAVE" to drop the children back because its the fathers contact or we are not allowed the children at all............Does anybody know what the legalities are on sharing the responsability of dropping and collecting children are or any info that may help,?Thanks
bubbs - 2 November 2011 @ 1:34 PM
My boyfriend pays his child maintenance every Saturday like clockwork, for which he hasproof.His ex keeps asking for more and more cash for this, that and the other.When he does have the girls (ages 12 & 10), they never want to go home and always ask to stay longer (which they are never allowed to).However, the ex 's new boyfriend is now threatening us saying that they will decide "if" he is allowed to see his children, that it is their perogative as all decisions lie with the mother and as the girls live with them weekdays in future he will only be able to see the girls "under supervision" - IF they agree to it.They have also said that they are going to tell the girls that he doesn't want to see them anymore because he is not giving her money every time she asks for it.Please can you advise?
storme - 17 October 2011 @ 8:39 AM
My husband is having problems with his ex. Last weekend he dropped the children off and faced provocation from his ex's new boyfriend (in front of the children). I was wondering if there is any way that the children could be dropped off/collected somewhere mediated by a 3rd person...grandparents have refused and we fear friends would be biased. He doesn't want to have any contact with his ex wife. Please help!!
Squeals - 28 September 2011 @ 10:10 PM
Hi. My son will be starting with a childminder soon while I'll be working full-time. I'll be receiving some tax credits towards the childcare costs. My son's father wants to have him for the day once a week, on a weekday. However, it'd be a different day each week. This is inconvenient for myself and the childminder, and I'm afraid maybe illegal (??), as the childminder would be receiving fees for a 5days childcare knowing that my son would be attending only 4days every week. Is there a way I could get my son's father to stick to a specific day each week? Or any other advice?? Thank you.
millie - 31 August 2011 @ 6:22 AM
If you have shared contact of your son, you should both share the responsibility of making sure he can see each of you. But with your ex planning to move so far away, it may mean that your son has less contact with his father because of the distance. You will have to talk to your ex so you can negotiate how you are going to achieve this. If you cannot not agree without tempers flaring, then perhaps getting in a mediator would be beneficial.
SeparatedDads - 5 August 2011 @ 2:19 PM
My son stays with his father every other weekend from Friday night returning on Sunday. His father lives about 30 min away. He has now told me he might be moving, which will be around 200 miles away (over 3 hour drive). Who will be responsible for my son getting to and from his dad's? I drive but have a very old unreliable car and even if it was a decent car would not like that drive. Before the arguments start (which they will) I need some information please.
Lindag - 5 August 2011 @ 11:32 AM
My ex wife doesn't like my new girlfriend and is stopping me seeing my kids while I am with her even though she has done nothing wrong to the kids. It's because they don't like each other and I am suffering for it, what action can I take to get rights to see them?
SIMON VINER - 11 July 2011 @ 10:15 AM
My ex is not allowing me to have the kids stay over at my new house as my girlfriend lives with me. She wants me to come and stay back at her house. Is there anything I can do to get her to let them stay at my new place? It's only every other weekend...
Kr1s - 21 June 2011 @ 10:18 AM
Are there any legal rights to "telephone contact"? My ex wife has moved 250 miles away with my 2 boys, (8 & 10) making regular visits very dificult.Until now I have always phoned them every week. Since my last visit, when I visited with my new partner (I'm too old to have a girlfriend!) she has started making it very dificult for me to talk to them. She doesn't like the fact that I can take a partner along with me for a bit of a holiday, but it's ok for her and my kids to live with someone else...... anyway I digress....Can some sort of order force her to allow me to speak to my boys?
davexh - 23 May 2011 @ 8:24 PM
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