Support for Separated Fathers

As anyone doing it can tell you it’s far from easy being a separated father. There are issues to deal with, whether they’re emotional, legal or financial. You can do it alone, and many have, but it’s much easier if you can find support, whether it’s just someone to talk to about the way you feel or aid through the labyrinth of bureaucracy. Luckily, there are a growing number of organisations that can help you. Not long ago the concept of a single parent meant solely single mothers, but it’s finally been understood that single fathers – whether they live with their children or not – can be affected by problems.

The Main Organisations

www.gingerbread.org.uk offers a variety of free services, from pamphlets of information you might well find useful to a phone advice line and a magazine called oneUp. It can also put you in touch with others in similar situations or help you form a group in your area.

In spite of its name, Families Need Fathers - www.fnf.org.uk works with lone parents of both sexes. They have booklets and pamphlets that can help you as a separated father, as well as a parenting plan and workshops with trained facilitators. Although a political organisation in part (they have a presence at all three party conferences) its focus is on individuals. It’s £30 a year to join (FNF is a registered charity), but that offers access to many more options. They also have a helpline open to anyone.

www.separatedfamilies.org.uk -The Centre for Separated Families works mostly in North Yorkshire, but does have a phone helpline that’s staffed between noon and four p.m. to offer assistance. With rural outreach programmes, holiday events ranging from entire holidays to day trips, training for young fathers, its aim is to help you be able to stay involved with your children after separation.

One of the most useful resources is the Citizens’ Advice Bureau. They have local branches throughout the country, and can offer educated advice on many topics of concern to separated fathers, from housing to council tax, to legal and emotional issues, as well as helping you find support groups in your area.

If for some reason you have nowhere to realistically spend time with your children, it’s worth contacting the www.naccc.org.uk -National Association of Child Contact Centres. They support over 300 of these centres in England, Wales and Northern Ireland which all offer a safe place for you to spend time with your children. It’s not quite the same as being at home or other activities, but they strive to make a warm, comfortable atmosphere for everyone with plenty of activities.

www.spig.clara.net -The Shared Parenting Information Group is an excellent resource, especially when the world of shared parenting is new to you. There are plans and advice to help you find your way.

Emotional Support

Inevitably, there will be times you feel down, especially after a visit with your children, and you’ll need to talk to someone. Sometimes friends simply aren’t enough and you need to talk to someone who can be outside everything and more objective, who can offer useful insights and advice.

www.bacp.co.uk - The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy can help you find a strongly accredited therapist local to you. Going for counselling can seem like a big step, but many have found regular sessions very helpful in adjusting to new lives and situations, and working through anger, grief and frustration. If you feel particularly desperate, get in touch with the www.samaritans.org.uk - Samaritans (or 08457 909090). They’re a volunteer group who’ve helped many over the years, especially if you have suicidal urges. They’re non-judgemental and willing to listen 24 hours a day, in addition to suggestion avenues you can follow to help your situation.

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