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Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 25 Mar 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Court Order Contact Order Breach Courts

A 'contact order' is an order made by the court that determines who is entitled to communicate with a child (either through face to face meetings or telephone calls, or indirectly such as by letter). A 'residence order' is an order made by the court that determines where and with whom a child lives. From April 2014, these orders have been replaced with a single 'child arrangement order' which covers both issues (given that they are intrinsically linked).

You can apply to the courts for a child arrangement order. For most parents, this will be the end of the matter, and both parties will comply with the order. However unfortunately for some parents, this can be the stage at which further problems begin, if the other party breaches the order.

What is a breach?

Arguably anything that does not comply with the order is a breach. For example if the order states that the non-resident parent should have contact every Friday from 5pm and contact is not provided until 5:05pm, this is technically a breach of the order. However it is important to be reasonable; the courts are unlikely to take any action if the breach is insignificant.

The courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion.

"I have a contact order which says that I have contact with my 14 year old daughter from 6pm on three evenings a week. My ex-wife has agreed that she can play netball for her school team on Wednesday evenings until 6pm which means that I won' see her until 7pm. Can she do this?"

Whilst it would have perhaps been better for your ex-wife to discuss this with you first, try to be flexible. Does your daughter enjoy playing netball? The courts consider a child's welfare as paramount and so her participation in such activities (if she wants to take part) will likely take precedence here. However if this causes you problems, perhaps ask your ex-wife if you can swop the day that you see your daughter to a day when she is home earlier.

"I have lost my job and have been unable to pay child support. I have a court order to see them twice a week. My ex is now saying that if I can't pay child support, then I can't see my kids. Is this a breach?"

Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the Courts.

"I have met someone I really like and would like to introduce my kids to her. I have a court order to see my kids every Wednesday and Sunday. However, my ex has said she doesn't want the kids to meet my new partner and that I can only see my kids when she's not there. Can she do this?"

Concerns often arise over a new partner being introduced to children. However the Courts will not impose a restriction on whether this person can be present during contact unless they can be shown to be a risk to the child's welfare (e.g. someone with convictions for violence or sex offences).

What to do if there is a breach

1) Discuss

The first step in the event of a breach of an order should be to try to discuss this with the other party involved. Whilst this can often be awkward when a relationship between you has broken down, this is the quickest and cheapest way to resolve the problem. When approaching the discussion, try to be flexible. If the breach has occurred due to a change of circumstances (such as the child moving from primary to secondary school, or the other party changing jobs) then maybe you could agree a way to vary the order to something that could realistically be followed.

[The Court does not have to approve any agreed amendments to the order. However make sure that you have this agreement in writing to protect yourself should a further dispute arise.]

"I've had a court order for three years to see my children and everything was working fine, until we had an argument last week when she refused to let them come, after the third week in a row. Admittedly, it got a bit heated and we had a big argument on the doorstep. She called the police and now she has taken out a non-molestation order against me. What happens now?"

If you are unable to contact the other party directly (for example due to a non-molestation order) you may need to ask someone you trust to try to discuss the issue with them, or as per step 2 below, ask a solicitor to correspond on your behalf. In this situation, it is likely that some amendments will be needed to current contact arrangements so that you and your former partner do not see each other. For example one of you drops the children off at school and the other collects from school. Contact or Children and Family Centres will also assist with the transfer in such situations.

2) Write

If you are unable to get anywhere by discussing the issue with the other party, write to them setting out your concerns and proposals to resolve the problem. If you have a solicitor, you may wish to ask them to write to the other party reminding them of their obligations under the order. [Keep a copy of any letters / emails sent in case you ever needed to refer to these in court.]

3) Consider applying to Court

Court enforcement should only be used as a final resort, as this will be added expense, and will generally only serve to increase tensions between the parties.

In order to apply to the Court for enforcement of a child arrangement order (or contact order / residence order), you will need to fill in, issue and serve form C79 (which can be found on the HMRC website). The Court will wish to see that other methods of resolving the issue have been attempted, which is where copy letters (as in point 2 above) are useful.

If you wish to apply to vary a child arrangement order, you will need to use form C100 (which can be found on the HMRC website)

If you are considering making an application to Court, seek independent legal advice. The Citizens Advice Bureau can provide you with free and independent legal advice in this regard.

What can the Court do if a breach has occurred?

There are a number of options open to the Court in order to punish the offending parent and try to ensure that the breach does not occur. Which route the Court takes, will depend upon the circumstances including the severity and frequency of the breach, and where the child resides.
  • The Court can impose a community service order, requiring the parent in breach of the child arrangement order to undertake up to 200 hours of community service.
  • The Court can fine to the parent in breach.
  • The Court can impose a short prison sentence on the parent in breach. (This is however very rare, as the parent in breach is usually the parent with whom the child resides and the primary carer.)
  • The Court may also impose an order for the parent in breach to pay the other party financial compensation if the breach led to loss (e.g. a cancelled holiday).
If in doubt, it is always best to seek legal advice. Citizens Advice Bureau provide free and independent legal advice and can be contacted on 03444 111 444.

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I have a contact order to see my son regularly, but my ex unilaterally changes this regularly as it suits "child". Both me and ex have had issues with child's attitude, (angry,aggressive). He "brokedown" and admitted that he asks to see me and mother says no, and doesn't understand why mother is the way she is. I managed to persuade mother to get him to docs and doctor referred him for councilling. After councilling, councillor said he was a lovely boy, which he told me, he then became angry and asked why did I send him to councilling. I told him I didn't, the doctor referred you. He said yes but I referred him to docs. I told him that it was both mother and myself who thought he might benefit. He told me mother said it was all my idea. I then explained I thought he would benefit after what he told me after after his "breakdown". He then denied breakdown and all he said. Ever since then I have had issues with mother and child, to the point that contact order has been broken and child very rarely answers calls or texts and won't let me know what is wrong. I have given up trying to talk to mother as she dismissive and disagrees with what I say about child's attitude and upbringing. Is it worth taking her to court as she has broken court order? Is it worth putting my son through this. His mother is controlling and manipulative, but she'll always be his mother. Any help/advice would be most appreciated.
Chrispy - 25-Mar-17 @ 10:05 AM
I have a contact order to see my son regularly, but my ex unilaterally changes this regularly as it suits "child". Both me and ex have had issues with child's attitude, (angry,aggressive). He "brokedown" and admitted that he asks to see me and mother says no, and doesn't understand why mother is the way she is. I managed to persuade mother to get him to docs and doctor referred him for councilling. After councilling, councillor said he was a lovely boy, which he told me, he then became angry and asked why did I send him to councilling. I told him I didn't, the doctor referred you. He said yes but I referred him to docs. I told him that it was both mother and myself who thought he might benefit. He told me mother said it was all my idea. I then explained I thought he would benefit after what he told me after after his "breakdown". He then denied breakdown and all he said. Ever since then I have had issues with mother and child, to the point that contact order has been broken and child very rarely answers calls or texts and won't let me know what is wrong. I have given up trying to talk to mother as she dismissive and disagrees with what I say about child's attitude and upbringing. Is it worth taking her to court as she has broken court order? Is it worth putting my son through this. His mother is controlling and manipulative, but she'll always be his mother. Any help/advice would be most appreciated.
Chrispy - 24-Mar-17 @ 9:08 PM
I am new to this and wondering what to do. I have been separated from my ex spouse for almost 8 years, when we separated we had a court order in place that I get to take my children every other weekend. Everything was going great until one weekend when a storm hhit I was unable to travel with my children to take them home. My ex called the cop's and my children were picked up. My ex accused me of making this a traumatic experience for the kids and did not want me to see them anymore. I lost track of them for almost 7 years and just found out that my ex remarried and has moved back. I tried to contact them but have been told the children no longer remember me and to just let it drop. They are happy and no longer need me in their lives. What should I do?
missing3 - 17-Mar-17 @ 2:24 PM
Onlinebeaver - Your Question:
I don't want to live with my mum anymore I'm 14 but there's a court order in place I think would rather commit suicide than stay with her

Our Response:
If you do not wish to live with your mother and you wish to live with your other parent, your other parent would have to take the matter to court in order to ask the court's permission.
SeparatedDads - 15-Mar-17 @ 2:53 PM
I don't want to live with my mum anymore I'm 14 but there's a court order in place I think would rather commit suicide than stay with her
Onlinebeaver - 15-Mar-17 @ 8:52 AM
dandleh1 - Your Question:
Hi there, I am rather new to this website, I just need a bit of information about my ex breaking the court order.I have 50% custody of my son, I have him every other week (Fri-Fri), the mother has to reside at her mothers when she has my son on her days, as she was unfit to live by herself with my son, this is stated in the court order.Now I have found out (Hard Proof) that she is now not staying at her mothers, but at a new house with her partner which he brought last year, I have pictures of them staying there, plus my son tells me he doesn't stay at his Nan's anymore but he stay's at mummys new house. the problem is he is only 4 years old, so his word in court is not taken.I know it may seem like I am not letting her move on with life, but my son has come back each time saying he has not had dinner and also that his mom and partner smoke in the house with him there, he comes back with an awful cough and bad tummy every time, I am more worried that my son will suffer more.What I need to know is what counts as proof that she is living there, I have photos of her car there every night when she has my son (at his bed time 7pm), the only thing is what if she tells the court that she just visits each night (even though thats a lie)? Thank you for reading and any advice would be brilliant.

Our Response:
One way around this, is to ask a solicitor to write a letter to your ex specifying that you have proof your ex is in breach of the court order and if she does not stick to the terms, you will take the matter back to court. As a rule, a court will wish to see that you have attempted to make every effort to try to resolve the issue before you apply to have the order enforced. You may also wish to seek some legal advice in order to explore your options - as a solicitor may advise you take a different approach. On another matter, if you are concerned about your son's welfare and you have genuine safeguarding issues, you may wish to seek advice from Social Services who may be able to advise you also. Unfortunately, this may not answer your question here, but there are different ways to approach this issue and much depends upon the level of seriousness of the breach.
SeparatedDads - 14-Mar-17 @ 11:46 AM
Hi there, i am rather new to this website, i just need a bit of information about my ex breaking the court order. I have 50% custody of my son, i have him every other week (Fri-Fri), the mother has to reside at her mothers when she has my son on her days, as she was unfit to live by herself with my son, this is stated in the court order. Now i have found out (Hard Proof) that she is now not staying at her mothers, but at a new house with her partner which he brought last year, i have pictures of them staying there, plus my son tells me he doesn't stay at his Nan's anymore but he stay's at mummys new house... the problem is he is only 4 years old, so his word in court is not taken. I know it may seem like i am not letting her move on with life, but my son has come back each time saying he has not had dinner and also that his mom and partner smoke in the house with him there, he comes back with an awful cough and bad tummy every time, i am more worried that my son will suffer more. What i need to know is what counts as proof that she is living there, i have photos of her car there every night when she has my son (at his bed time 7pm), the only thing is what if she tells the court that she just visits each night (even though thats a lie)? Thank you for reading and any advice would be brilliant.
dandleh1 - 13-Mar-17 @ 12:22 PM
My step-daughter is allegedly refusing to have contact with us (according to her mother- mother wont even allow us to speak to her over phone to confirm this) Bit of background: step-daughter is 8 years old, has had social services involvement 4 times and my husband has had to endure 2 court cases (not cheap) and looks like we are on to our 3rd. Basically, when things fall apart on mothers side, we are penalised and allegations are thrown our way (always unfounded- in fact social services are yet to humour these as they have seen hope in our home on numerous occasions always noting the positive relationships between her siblings and both me and my husband). According to her mother, my step daughter is alleging that my husband threatened to hit her and is too scared and upset to have contact. Please note this coincides with another break-up between mother and her most recent partner. Anyway, mother she has spoken to social services and they have no concerns so have directed her to citizens advice. Mother has breached the court order by refusing the weekend contact as she claims to be 'safeguarding' her daughter. Has there been many success stories re fathers regaining contact? We both work hard, have two other children, have a mortgage to pay etc. Is it worth us spending money to fight. Will mother get help towards legal fees through legal aid, as dont think she could afford the £190 per hour we are going to have to pay? We are stuck in limbo at the moment and just need some help/ if possible reassurance
Lp07 - 17-Feb-17 @ 5:11 PM
I have been in and out of the courts for the past 3 years getting access to my kids from, but constantly being accused of verbally and even physically abusing my kids.I haven't done any of this but just her accusations trigger CAFCASS and Social Services to intervene regardless of the fact that these are all just her lies.We split up because I stopped taking the control she had on me, but all of a sudden she has started a Facebook page called "True Soul Survivors".She has even persuaded a friend of hers who is a DJ on the local BBC radio station to let her do a piece last Friday morning, on which she says how I was an an abuser and a controller in our marriage, which couldn't be further from the truth.She has been clever enough not to mention names, so I don't think I have any recourse.I am at the end of my wits and have serious contemplated leaving this world.I know that sounds over the top but I don't know where to turn and am scared that people will believe her.She is so convincing though.She has just stopped me from seeing the kids unless I am supervised.All this was triggered by me refusing to answer her calls, because she keeps verbally abusing me on the calls and I doin't need to hear that S***.It's also driven by the fact that the CMS have reduced her money by £100 a month because I have the kids for 2 nights every fortnight.I think she is Bi Polar because out of the blue this morning she called and asked me if I would like to take my son to a swimming Gala in 3 weeks, as she was unable to.When I responded with "but I thought you said I was to see them under supervision", her answer was " you will be in the car and there will be plenty of people at the Gala".Suffice to say, I told her I wasn't going to be her babysitter/taxi just when she feels it's ok. The system does not seem to take on board the ridiculousness of her actions.All it does is encourage her to keep the control and abuse up. I don't know whether anyone can advise me, but as far as I am aware the CMS will up her money even though she is in breach of the court order, by stopping me seeing the kids. If I were even remotely what she is accusing me of, I would shut my mouth and take my dues, but I am not and I am fed up with her constant prodding a poking. There has to be a law that can stop it, surely
Claude - 15-Feb-17 @ 2:19 PM
Billious - Your Question:
I took my ex to court to enable me to see my children I won a contact order but I still never saw them as she just refused to let me. I didn't take her back to court as she breached the order because I couldn't afford it and she just poisoned there mind so they didn't want to see me. I didn't want to make matters worse and force them to see me if they didn't want to. It's been 5 years now and my eldest son is 14 and has contacted me and wants to have a relationship with me. Has that order expired or can I use it?

Our Response:
I think in this instance a letter from your solicitor requesting the court order is re-instated should be suffice. However, if your ex still refuses to allow you to have access, you may wish to take the matter back to court to attempt to have the order enforced - especially now your child has expressed a wish to see you. If you can justify your lapse on the basis you have explained, there shouldn't be an issue. Plus, your son is now old enough for his own personal opinion/preference to be considered in court.
SeparatedDads - 3-Feb-17 @ 2:52 PM
I took my ex to court to enable me to see my children I won a contact order but I still never saw them as she just refused to let me. I didn't take her back to court as she breached the order because I couldn't afford it and she just poisoned there mind so they didn't want to see me. I didn't want to make matters worse and force them to see me if they didn't want to.. It's been 5 years now and my eldest son is 14 and has contacted me and wants to have a relationship with me. Has that order expired or can I use it?
Billious - 2-Feb-17 @ 9:16 PM
RKW - Your Question:
I have a contact order with regards to my daughter that has worked perfectly for the past 4 years. My current partner (who is disabled & cant just go outside) smokes in a separate room & never around my daughter. Now all of a sudden my daughters mother is refusing to let my daughter stay in my house "around the smoke" so is breaching our contact order claiming she is doing it for my child's health. I find this especially hypocritical as my daughters mother also smokes, she is also pregnant and continues to smoke. My daughters mother says she isn't stopping my contact but insists on me keeping her away from my house & taking her out "in the community", there is nothing in the contact order saying I can't take her to my house.Can she stop me?

Our Response:
She can, but she will be in breach of the order and as specified in the article, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. Therefore, I can only suggest you ask a solicitor to write a letter to your ex outlining the terms of the court order and the repercussions she faces if she attempts to continue the breach. Hopefully, this will resolve the issue without having to take the matter back to court.
SeparatedDads - 2-Feb-17 @ 2:43 PM
I have a contact order with regards to my daughter that has worked perfectly for the past 4 years. My current partner (who is disabled & cant just go outside) smokes in a separate room & never around my daughter. Now all of a sudden my daughters mother is refusing to let my daughter stay in my house "around the smoke" so is breaching our contact order claiming she is doing it for my child's health. I find this especially hypocritical as my daughters mother also smokes, she is also pregnant and continues to smoke. My daughters mother says she isn't stopping my contact but insists on me keeping her away from my house & taking her out "in the community", there is nothing in the contact order saying I can't take her to my house. Can she stop me?
RKW - 2-Feb-17 @ 7:19 AM
Hi I was seeing 3 of my five children three nights a week (the other two are older and would rather play with there friends) of which I did not mind,I'd collect them after I finished work on a weds and drop them back on a Thursday morning, then I would collect them on a saturday when I finished work and have them until Monday morning and drop them back before school. This would happen twice a month, then from the Sunday till the monday the other two weeks of the month. This was all goin good I gave her money each weekend when I collected them and she was happy for them to meet and stay with my new partner on Saturday night as I worked the door, up until my new partner became pregnant! she stopped all contact for me, saying some nasty things about our new child, she had police at my door sayin I said threatening things to her and was unproven by the police. She got a non molestation order off the back of that and said a lot of untrue things of which I could not disprove as I didn't have the £5000 solicitors fees and she got her for free claiming domestic violence! (unproven) so I went to court and said I'm not bothered about the molestation order as I didn't want to be around her, it's my kids I want to see and they kept the non molestation order in place and my ex said no to direct or indirect access. so it's now a yr on I have seen one of my kids in the street a couple of times and sat a talked played with him for an hour I have been to mediation of which she ignored along with my messages and letters for amicable discussion and time for me to see my kids I have made an application to the courts at a cost of £215 of which I have not got! And just wanted a bit of advice on where I go from here I can't afford a solicitor and she gets hers for free on the back of some wild allegations that have never been proven so I'm guilty until I prove myself innocent! I thought it was the other way round in this country. Please a little advice
Kaos1 - 28-Jan-17 @ 5:18 PM
steery - Your Question:
Hi I am a grandmother who had my grandchild from 6 months old for 2/4 days and nights a week, but when they split up, my son had them on a regular basis but still bought her round to see me so there was never a problem, Then my son got in trouble with the police for taking drugs and he also had 2 offences of which he had only committed one off, the other was not true, even the mother of the child admitted this to me, and she would have been the only witness to this charge, but because he admitted he was guilty of the other child offence was then found guilty to the second charge too. He is still serving time in prison for this, and comes out of prison in October, so this will make it now harder for him to see his child that he wont have seen for 4 years and 3 months.The reason I am writing this is I would like some help and advice as to can I ask for visiting rights to my sons child [my grandchild] who has just had her 9th birthday, as the mother of this child has suddenly not letting me see her for no reason, I was seeing her with her brother and sister for over a year, it was very limited access, of about 1 hour every 3/4 months but she was also present as well, It was not ideal but at least we were seeing her. {her brother and sister were from my sons first marriage] and are now 18 and 23.My concerns are that not only are we missing her so much, but she must be wondering what on earth is going on, first she does not see her dad, then not also being able to see her nan and brother and sister, This will have a terrific effect on her as she is growing up as I my self know and have seen first hand as the child nearly always thinks it is there fault, I cannot find a site to go on that I could ask for help to gaining access to my granddaughter for myself and my other 2 grandchildren [her brother and sister]. I would like to go for mediation as to getting some access perhaps one day a month so we could see her together, My son is another matter he will have to deal with that when he comes out of prison. But it has to be good for her to have regular meetings with her family and to know she is loved and that she has done nothing wrong. I don't know why the mother has chosen not to answer any letters I have written and texts, and phone calls, but I can assure you we have done nothing wrong, and do not deserve this treatment.steery.

Our Response:
I can only suggest you seek legal advice regarding this as it's not an easy or straightforward issue to deal with given there are so many variables, please see link: Paternal Grandparents' Rights here . I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 27-Jan-17 @ 12:05 PM
Hi I am a grandmother who had my grandchild from 6 months old for 2/4 days and nights a week, but when they split up, my son had them on a regular basis but still bought her round to see me so there was never a problem, Then my son got in trouble with the police for taking drugs and he also had 2 offences of which he had only committed one off, the other was not true, even the mother of the child admitted this to me, and she would have been the only witness to this charge, but because he admitted he was guilty of the other child offence was then found guilty to the second charge too. He is still serving time in prison for this, and comes out of prison in October, so this will make it now harder for him to see his child that he wont have seen for 4 years and 3 months. The reason I am writing this is I would like some help and advice as to can I ask for visiting rights to my sons child [my grandchild] who has just had her 9th birthday, as the mother of this child has suddenly not letting me see her for no reason, I was seeing her with her brother and sister for over a year, it was very limited access, of about 1 hour every 3/4 months but she was also present as well, It was not ideal but at least we were seeing her. {her brother and sister were from my sons first marriage] and are now 18 and 23. My concerns are that not only are we missing her so much, but she must be wondering what on earth is going on, first she does not see her dad, then not also being able to see her nan and brother and sister, This will have a terrific effect on her as she is growing up as I my self know and have seen first hand as the child nearly always thinks it is there fault, I cannot find a site to go on that I could ask for help to gaining access to my granddaughter for myself and my other 2 grandchildren [her brother and sister]. I would like to go for mediation as to getting some access perhaps one day a month so we could see her together, My son is another matter he will have to deal with that when he comes out of prison. But it has to be good for her to have regular meetings with her family and to know she is loved and that she has done nothing wrong. I don't know why the mother has chosen not to answer any letters I have written and texts, and phone calls, but I can assure you we have done nothing wrong, and do not deserve this treatment. steery.
steery - 26-Jan-17 @ 5:11 PM
My son is under residential order to live with my daughters nana he us 15 am allowed to ave contact once a fortnight however old broke it ad seen him on a Saturday with my partner since then it has bn found out ad my son has been threatened with police ad social services ad all his games ad ph taken away and they stopped all contact not allowed to see him he desperate to come home to live overall what can happen breaching court order
Scalapa - 25-Jan-17 @ 5:29 PM
My ex wife made unfounded harrasment/domestic violence allegations against me immediately before she applied to the family courts, because of this she managed to skip the mediation process and applied for full residency of our son amidst various other child abuse allegations and nonsense, it took 6 hearings and many thousands of pounds to defend her applications and allegations. Luckily the judge awarded equal shared parenting between ourselves on a 5.2.2.5 rotating fortnightly pattern that recommences after the provision for the holidays (split equally) 6 weeks after the final order was granted she breaches the order, by emailing the police an alternative calender and they turn me away at my sons school, This continues to the extent that she applies to the csa to change the banding regarding the nights my son spends with her, (she says 170 with me and 196 with her) and she has provided the csa with a letter detailing her 'nights' and I am to attend a tribunal! My question is. Can the letter provided to the CSA by crazy ex be used by me to demonstrate that she is not complying with the court order, and what will be the likely outcome, I should of mentioned that crazy ex is now a barrister!!
Crazy hinge - 6-Jan-17 @ 8:25 PM
Debs - Your Question:
So my ex has taken out a contact order for our child despite me never denying him access. Why is there no repercussions for him when he breaks the order and doesn't have him or has him late or has him but leaves him with his grandparents most of the time. This seems really unfair as he can do what he wants yet I am bound by this stupid order.

Our Response:
As specified in the article, both of you are bound to the order. Therefore, if your ex breaches the order you can also take the order back to court and ask for a variation, or have the order enforced.
SeparatedDads - 20-Dec-16 @ 11:27 AM
So my ex has taken out a contact order for our child despite me never denying him access. Why is there no repercussions for him when he breaks the order and doesn't have him or has him late or has him but leaves him with his grandparents most of the time. This seems really unfair as he can do what he wants yet I am bound by this stupid order.
Debs - 19-Dec-16 @ 7:19 PM
My son is having contact with his dad Saturday 10 am till Sunday 6 pm now with xmas approaching it falls on a Sunday that us my sons contact now because I wont my son to spend Xmas with me and Boxing Day with his dad. My sons father said that he wonts to spend Xmas this year. If our son refuses to go I'm in breach of contact as there were now papers to say about Xmas
Lala - 17-Dec-16 @ 5:13 PM
Jimmy - Your Question:
I have a court Order which allows for me have my daughter on a Saturday, can the mother turn up to see her at a Leisure Centre on the Saturday without my consent, as it is my only day with her by myself?

Our Response:
Unless your court order specifies she should not turn up, then it is very difficult to stop her. However, a solicitor's letter outlining the terms of your access may help, otherwise you may have to apply for a specific issue order. Please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 16-Dec-16 @ 2:10 PM
I have a court Order which allows for me have my daughter on a Saturday, can the mother turn up to see her at a Leisure Centre on the Saturday without my consent, as it is my only day with her by myself?
Jimmy - 16-Dec-16 @ 12:43 AM
CARLOS - Your Question:
My daughter is 5. In July 2015 I took her mother to court for regular access to my daughter and was awarded a child arrangements order with penal order for 2 weekends a month and 4 weeks holiday a year.I am due to pick up my daughter on Friday - I have received a letter today from my ex telling me that due to my drug use and mental state that she is stopping over night contact and that any contact we have will be supervised. I have smoked weed for about 20 years. Its something that I enjoy doing and it doesn't effect me much as I have smoked it for so long. It makes me feel relaxed and is my luxury after the rest of my money goes on bills ect. She states that my daughter is withdrawn, and stressed when I return her on a Sunday and cries when she knows im coming to pick her up - (shes happy as larry when she's with me and find when I drop her off) and states that my daughter is telling her that I tell her shes naughty and a bad girl (which she is sometimes - what kid isn't?) Anyway - what right does she have to stop contact especially after the courts have ordered her to give me regular contact? I don't see myself as a danger to my daughter. I work, have my own flat pay maintenance - I just like smoking weed! I don't see what the problem is!So shes taking me back to court to get a court order and a drugs test (can they do that?) and in the meantime I have to spend 2 hours every other sunday with my daughter at a play centre?? until this goes through!What can I do!

Our Response:
You would really have to seek legal advice regarding this. As specified in the article, your ex has breached the order and you can take her to court for the breach. However, it seems she has got there first, so you need to be able to explore your options regarding this. Yes, a drug test can be requested from your ex if she is concerned about the welfare of your child whilst in your care. In court, attitudes to cannabis vary and occasional use may not be considered detrimental to access. However, in general the court does not approve of drug use and most definitely not Class A drugs, as use is deemed not in the best interests of your child. The court will consider what drugs you are using, how often and whether this affects you caring for your child.
SeparatedDads - 8-Dec-16 @ 10:53 AM
My daughter is 5. In July 2015 I took her mother to court for regular access to my daughter and was awarded a child arrangements order with penal order for 2 weekends a month and 4 weeks holiday a year. I am due to pick up my daughter on Friday - I have received a letter today from my ex telling me that due to my drug use and mental state that she is stopping over night contact and that any contact we have will be supervised. I have smoked weed for about 20 years. Its something that I enjoy doing and it doesn't effect me much as I have smoked it for so long. It makes me feel relaxed and is my luxury after the rest of my money goes on bills ect. She states that my daughter is withdrawn, and stressed when I return her on a Sunday and cries when she knows im coming to pick her up - (shes happy as larry when she's with me and find when I drop her off) and states that my daughter is telling her that I tell her shes naughty and a bad girl (which she is sometimes - what kid isn't?) Anyway - what right does she have to stop contact especially after the courts have ordered her to give me regular contact? I don't see myself as a danger to my daughter.... I work, have my own flat pay maintenance - I just like smoking weed! I don't see what the problem is! So shes taking me back to court to get a court order and a drugs test (can they do that?) and in the meantime I have to spend 2 hours every other sunday with my daughter at a play centre?? until this goes through! What can I do!
CARLOS - 7-Dec-16 @ 4:09 PM
I have residence of our son and the mother has a contact order for visitations. She picks him up from school on a Friday (every other weekend) and returns him two days later on a Sunday between 4:30 and 5:30. Since we have separated our relationship has turned toxic and i only stay in contact with her due to our child. Due to ongoing harassment i took out a ex-parte non-molestation order against her around May 2016. She received the court papers on a Wednesday and by the Thursday she had already wrote a letter to me to cancel her next weekend with our son, saying it was due to 'work commitments'. I personally believe that she just spat out her dummy as she did not believe i would take out a NMO against her. The harassment issue went to court and i agreedto drop the NMO as long as she signed court undertakings to stop the harassment. Everything was fine for a while but then the harassment started again and i was forced to apply for another ex-parte NMO order (at the start of Sept '16) as the court undertakings were not giving me adequate protection. She was served the court papers at 1:15pm on a wedneday and by 1:45 she had sent a text to my son to advised that she could not have him on the upcoming Friday (in two days time) and she was also going to have to cancel her weekend in two weeks time - again due to 'work commitments. Again i do not believe that she has any work commitments and believe that she is using our son as a weapon to get back at me. This is not fair on my son as he likes spending time with his mum and his 2 year old step-sister. A condition of our contact order states that if my ex-wife wants to alter or cancel her weekends she needs to give me at least 7 days advanced notice in writing - i did not receive any notice for either of the following weekends that she missed. At the start of Oct '16 i received a letter from her to advise that she believed that the ongoing court case for the NMO was having a negative effect on our son and so she believed it was in his best interests to stop all contact until after the final court hearing which appears will be around Jan 2017. This will mean our son wont have seen his mother in 4 months and she will also miss her scheduled 1 week xmas holiday with him. What kind of parent would do this? I honest do not know what kind of negative effect spending their weekends together could have on our son - surely this should be a happy time for both parent and child. I have had to sit him down and try and explain that his mother wants to stop contact - this was so hard to do and all he could do was sob and ask why? He honestly believed he must have done something wrong. To me it just appears to be a way she can get back at me for issuing a court order against her. I will not have our son used in any adult mind games and my son is not a pet or a toy that my ex-wife can just see when she wants. Our son is now at the age (eight) where he needs stability and consist
Concerned - 25-Nov-16 @ 8:45 PM
My partner had a child arrangements order for contact, weekends once a fortnight and half of all school holidays (due to distance between us) we do all the travelling and most agreements are noted in the order, his ex however is saying that the school holidays start on the Monday, we assumed that when we said half of a week returned Wednesday that this would run Friday to Wednesday then Wednesday to Sunday etc, she is saying Monday to Wednesday unless our weekend fall before, this means in one week we would potentiallytravel Monday, back Wednesday and then again Friday and Sunday. We don't think this is in the best interests of anyone especially the children who would in one week spend several hours of their holiday in a car! Would this be something we can apply back to the court for clarification? We have tried to reason with her, discussion in the communication book, written to her solicitor and are getting no response. She is doing the same for over Xmas so deadline is fast approaching
Mousey - 25-Nov-16 @ 10:26 AM
I have two daughters, they will be 10 & 12 years old in December.My ex has always tested the boundaries of the existing contact order, but she's stepped it up this year, particularly where I didn't see my youngest for 10 weeks over the summer, missing holidays etc....she states they don't want to come, but they are happy when with me, we have a great time, they never ask to go home in the eight years I've been having them.But as soon as they go home I get accused of quizzing them, pressurising them to come etc....if I speak to them on the phone, it's clearly scripted.We went to mediation, spent over £500, we agreed on everything.....yet a week later she isn't sticking to anything we discussed, and bringing in loads of new things....the last two phonecalls their phone was switched off, and she refuses to do anything. She says the only way they will come is if they can choose if they want to or not! Unfortunately, I know if I agree to this then she will make sure they never come...mediation was a total waste of time as she lied throughout sounding like she had their interest at heart, and she isn't bothered the fact I have a contact order, as she has decided it's too rigid!I am flexible where I can be, taking them to parties, cutting my contact time down at Easter so they were able to go on holiday with friends, I can't do anymore....yet now she's stopped contact completely until she gets legal advice....any advice would be welcome......looking at court action now, but is it C79 or C100? Surely she can't just decide to change an order off her own back and stop contact when I've done nothing wrong?
Carl - 25-Oct-16 @ 8:17 PM
I have two daughters, they will be 10 & 12 years old in December.My ex has always tested the boundaries of the existing contact order, but she's stepped it up this year, particularly where I didn't see my youngest for 10 weeks over the summer, missing holidays etc....she states they don't want to come, but they are happy when with me, we have a great time, they never ask to go home in the eight years I've been having them.But as soon as they go home I get accused of quizzing them, pressurising them to come etc....if I speak to them on the phone, it's clearly scripted.We went to mediation, spent over £500, we agreed on everything.....yet a week later she isn't sticking to anything we discussed, and bringing in loads of new things....the last two phonecalls their phone was switched off, and she refuses to do anything. She says the only way they will come is if they can choose if they want to or not! Unfortunately, I know if I agree to this then she will make sure they never come...mediation was a total waste of time as she lied throughout sounding like she had their interest at heart, and she isn't bothered the fact I have a contact order, as she has decided it's too rigid!I am flexible where I can be, taking them to parties, cutting my contact time down at Easter so they were able to go on holiday with friends, I can't do anymore....yet now she's stopped contact completely until she gets legal advice....any advice would be welcome......looking at court action now, but is it C79 or C100? Surely she can't just decide to change an order off her own back and stop contact when I've done nothing wrong?
Carl - 25-Oct-16 @ 1:45 PM
I have two daughters, they will be 10 & 12 years old in December.My ex has always tested the boundaries of the existing contact order, but she's stepped it up this year, particularly where I didn't see my youngest for 10 weeks over the summer, missing holidays etc....she states they don't want to come, but they are happy when with me, we have a great time, they never ask to go home in the eight years I've been having them.But as soon as they go home I get accused of quizzing them, pressurising them to come etc....if I speak to them on the phone, it's clearly scripted.We went to mediation, spent over £500, we agreed on everything.....yet a week later she isn't sticking to anything we discussed, and bringing in loads of new things....the last two phonecalls their phone was switched off, and she refuses to do anything. She says the only way they will come is if they can choose if they want to or not! Unfortunately, I know if I agree to this then she will make sure they never come...mediation was a total waste of time as she lied throughout sounding like she had their interest at heart, and she isn't bothered the fact I have a contact order, as she has decided it's too rigid!I am flexible where I can be, taking them to parties, cutting my contact time down at Easter so they were able to go on holiday with friends, I can't do anymore....yet now she's stopped contact completely until she gets legal advice....any advice would be welcome......looking at court action now, but is it C79 or C100? Surely she can't just decide to change an order off her own back and stop contact when I've done nothing wrong?
Carl - 25-Oct-16 @ 1:40 PM
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