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Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do

By: Abigail Taylor - Updated: 28 Jun 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Court Order Contact Order Breach Courts

A 'contact order' is an order made by the court that determines who is entitled to communicate with a child (either through face to face meetings or telephone calls, or indirectly such as by letter). A 'residence order' is an order made by the court that determines where and with whom a child lives. From April 2014, these orders have been replaced with a single 'child arrangement order' which covers both issues (given that they are intrinsically linked).

You can apply to the courts for a child arrangement order. For most parents, this will be the end of the matter, and both parties will comply with the order. However unfortunately for some parents, this can be the stage at which further problems begin, if the other party breaches the order.

What is a breach?

Arguably anything that does not comply with the order is a breach. For example if the order states that the non-resident parent should have contact every Friday from 5pm and contact is not provided until 5:05pm, this is technically a breach of the order. However it is important to be reasonable; the courts are unlikely to take any action if the breach is insignificant.

The courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion.

"I have a contact order which says that I have contact with my 14 year old daughter from 6pm on three evenings a week. My ex-wife has agreed that she can play netball for her school team on Wednesday evenings until 6pm which means that I won' see her until 7pm. Can she do this?"

Whilst it would have perhaps been better for your ex-wife to discuss this with you first, try to be flexible. Does your daughter enjoy playing netball? The courts consider a child's welfare as paramount and so her participation in such activities (if she wants to take part) will likely take precedence here. However if this causes you problems, perhaps ask your ex-wife if you can swop the day that you see your daughter to a day when she is home earlier.

"I have lost my job and have been unable to pay child support. I have a court order to see them twice a week. My ex is now saying that if I can't pay child support, then I can't see my kids. Is this a breach?"

Any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the Courts.

"I have met someone I really like and would like to introduce my kids to her. I have a court order to see my kids every Wednesday and Sunday. However, my ex has said she doesn't want the kids to meet my new partner and that I can only see my kids when she's not there. Can she do this?"

Concerns often arise over a new partner being introduced to children. However the Courts will not impose a restriction on whether this person can be present during contact unless they can be shown to be a risk to the child's welfare (e.g. someone with convictions for violence or sex offences).

What to do if there is a breach

1) Discuss

The first step in the event of a breach of an order should be to try to discuss this with the other party involved. Whilst this can often be awkward when a relationship between you has broken down, this is the quickest and cheapest way to resolve the problem. When approaching the discussion, try to be flexible. If the breach has occurred due to a change of circumstances (such as the child moving from primary to secondary school, or the other party changing jobs) then maybe you could agree a way to vary the order to something that could realistically be followed.

[The Court does not have to approve any agreed amendments to the order. However make sure that you have this agreement in writing to protect yourself should a further dispute arise.]

"I've had a court order for three years to see my children and everything was working fine, until we had an argument last week when she refused to let them come, after the third week in a row. Admittedly, it got a bit heated and we had a big argument on the doorstep. She called the police and now she has taken out a non-molestation order against me. What happens now?"

If you are unable to contact the other party directly (for example due to a non-molestation order) you may need to ask someone you trust to try to discuss the issue with them, or as per step 2 below, ask a solicitor to correspond on your behalf. In this situation, it is likely that some amendments will be needed to current contact arrangements so that you and your former partner do not see each other. For example one of you drops the children off at school and the other collects from school. Contact or Children and Family Centres will also assist with the transfer in such situations.

2) Write

If you are unable to get anywhere by discussing the issue with the other party, write to them setting out your concerns and proposals to resolve the problem. If you have a solicitor, you may wish to ask them to write to the other party reminding them of their obligations under the order. [Keep a copy of any letters / emails sent in case you ever needed to refer to these in court.]

3) Consider applying to Court

Court enforcement should only be used as a final resort, as this will be added expense, and will generally only serve to increase tensions between the parties.

In order to apply to the Court for enforcement of a child arrangement order (or contact order / residence order), you will need to fill in, issue and serve form C79 (which can be found on the HMRC website). The Court will wish to see that other methods of resolving the issue have been attempted, which is where copy letters (as in point 2 above) are useful.

If you wish to apply to vary a child arrangement order, you will need to use form C100 (which can be found on the HMRC website)

If you are considering making an application to Court, seek independent legal advice. The Citizens Advice Bureau can provide you with free and independent legal advice in this regard.

What can the Court do if a breach has occurred?

There are a number of options open to the Court in order to punish the offending parent and try to ensure that the breach does not occur. Which route the Court takes, will depend upon the circumstances including the severity and frequency of the breach, and where the child resides.
  • The Court can impose a community service order, requiring the parent in breach of the child arrangement order to undertake up to 200 hours of community service.
  • The Court can fine to the parent in breach.
  • The Court can impose a short prison sentence on the parent in breach. (This is however very rare, as the parent in breach is usually the parent with whom the child resides and the primary carer.)
  • The Court may also impose an order for the parent in breach to pay the other party financial compensation if the breach led to loss (e.g. a cancelled holiday).
If in doubt, it is always best to seek legal advice. Citizens Advice Bureau provide free and independent legal advice and can be contacted on 03444 111 444.

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I went through a painstaking court process and build-up over the last 15 months in wanting to see my son via a Contact Order. As a result in March I obtained a court order to see my son on a regular basis, with progression to sleepovers built into the order. Also as part of the order I was served a Non-molestation order that prevented me from picking and dropping off my son, to which my parents had to do. Then three weeks into the order and each occasion with my son was brilliant. My ex sent a derogative comment to my elderly mum and since has prevented me seeing my son. Currently waiting to go back to court next month. If I have no-one to pick my son up for contact. Has anyone else go through this and what services and answers are out there for me seeing my son. I would appreciate your constructive answers, please. I so miss my son every day and seems unfair after paying more than £12k feel the legal system isn't doing me justice. Are there barristers out there that can help me. Many thanks.
Sad without son - 28-Jun-17 @ 4:25 PM
I have a court order in place to see my children every other weekend from Friday to Monday(School to school). My ex wife has deceitfully decided that she will only allow me to collect them at 5pm Saturday to 7pm Sunday. She has done this to claim more money through the child maintenance service and despite me showing them a copy of the court order and proving that she has lied to them saying that I had agreed to this new change, they have ruled in favour! This has meant that child maintenance has increased so much that I have to move out my home as I can't afford to live in it. As I can't afford to pay the 40% of my wages that CMS now insists I have to pay, my ex has not let me see my children for almost seven weeks now despite the court order. I can't afford a solicitor to go back to court!
Will - 8-Jun-17 @ 10:27 PM
What does it mean when social workers say the main residence should be with the mother because she is in the family home still where the child has lived for 4 years? Is there a difference between shared/joint care and shared/joint custody? Who has parental responsibilityfor the child if it is joint care/ custody? If half the state benefits go to each parent does one parent claim them then give half to the other parent or can you both claim halffrom the government so you actually get it? James
James - 6-Jun-17 @ 7:10 AM
We have a family arrangements order & i have contact . but resident mother is making variations & breaches to the order so that I'm losing loads of time . On one occasion she took my son out of school for a week to go abroad- on the week I'm supposed to have him 4 nights . The summer holidays are approaching & we are suppised to have half each in alternate weeks . I'm terrified she plans to breach the order then as its the time of year i have contact most . I an fed up with the biased court we have been using & am thinking of applying to the high court for enforcement & variation to simplify the order to a shared custody 3 days on 3 days off regardless of time of year except summer & Christmas holidays . Question is , which forms do i need to enforce compliance , request a variation & what options do the court have to ensure she obeys the order? And is the high court a realistic option ? I am unrepresented & feel the high court won't be able to do anything before the summer holidays . I am falling sick due to the stress & worry . Pls help me
kidsnotweapons - 3-Jun-17 @ 9:21 PM
Selwyn - Your Question:
I have a Residence Order in my favour of my daughter. Residence was awarded to me due to drink and drug abuse by my ex-partner (my daughter's mother). The order provides for all contact between my daughter and her mother to be supervised by nominated members of her family. There is also contact provided for the Maternal grandparents (MGP) at which the mother may also be present, but only if agreed between the MGPs and me. Recently, this additional contact took place without my approval and my daughter also told me that there had been unsupervised contact on more than one occasion. I know they will just deny it if I write to them (they all lie like other people breathe and they lied throughout the court process) but my daughter is almost 8, so she's unlikely to have got it wrong. I feel helpless that once a Court Order is issued, you're on your own and there is no one to Police it.

Our Response:
You may wish to ask a solicitor to write a letter reiterating the terms of the agreement and the repercussions if your ex and her MGP's breach those terms. It will at least be a sharp reminder and can be used as evidence that you have attempted to try to resolve the situation out of court, if you need at any point to take the situation back to court to have the order enforced.
SeparatedDads - 31-May-17 @ 11:25 AM
I have a Residence Order in my favour of my daughter. Residence was awarded to me due to drink and drug abuse by my ex-partner (my daughter's mother). The order provides for all contact between my daughter and her mother to be supervised by nominated members of her family. There is also contact provided for the Maternal grandparents (MGP) at which the mother may also be present, but only if agreed between the MGPs and me. Recently, this additional contact took place without my approval and my daughter also told me that there had been unsupervised contact on more than one occasion. I know they will just deny it if I write to them (they all lie like other people breathe and they lied throughout the court process) but my daughter is almost 8, so she's unlikely to have got it wrong. I feel helpless that once a Court Order is issued, you're on your own and there is no one to Police it.
Selwyn - 30-May-17 @ 3:15 PM
I have a Cao for the last few year. Due to some issues with my ex the social services had to step in. They interviewed our kids and the out come was that they wanted full shared Care... This only means an increase of one day more at my house over the repeat two week agreed care. The ex is refusing to comply with the social services report. Do I need to fill in a new Cao or is it a specific issue order? Or is it a c2 form Thanks
Tj - 26-May-17 @ 11:52 AM
wm - Your Question:
A court order was givin to allow my ex to see his child. He told me weeks ago that he couldnt get her on a certain day but was never agreed that this would be ok. Said he was doing one thing and done somthing totallay different basicailly lied.is this a breach on his behalf? Can I stop contact?

Our Response:
Mediation should still be the first port of call if you cannot agree on an issue or if the breach is insignificant (your ex gave you plenty of notice). If you stop contact altogether, you too will be in breach of the order and as that is an 'intentional' and 'significant' breach. If you stop contact and you will not consider mediation in order to try to resolve the issue, your ex will have the option to take the matter to back to court.
SeparatedDads - 25-May-17 @ 11:40 AM
A court order was givin to allow my ex to see his child. He told me weeks ago that he couldnt get her on a certain day but was never agreed that this would be ok. Said he was doing one thing and done somthing totallay different basicailly lied...is this a breach on his behalf? Can i stop contact?
wm - 24-May-17 @ 7:54 PM
Rose - Your Question:
My partner has a court order to see his daughter two days a week and one weekend every month. it's very relaxed, unfortunately. this is not working at all! The mother is constantly bad mouthing the child's father to her and infront of her to which she understands (at 3) and repeats to us, is claiming her new partner is her replacement dad and would be confused if they were both in the playground (children foto same school), she constantly stops him from seeing his daughter and sending upsetting, horrible and hundreds of texts to which is taking its toll on the both of us, he just wants to see his daughter like any father and desperate to make up for the lost time, love and memories. HELP! What do we do next?

Our Response:
As specified in the article, the courts' guidance states that unless a breach is regular and intentional, they will not usually take action to enforce the order or punish the breach. Further it is important to consider the needs of your child first and so some flexibility may be needed on occasion. However, any changes to a contact order must be agreed by both parties. One party cannot unilaterally decide to change the order or apply additional terms. If they wish to do so, they will need to refer the matter back to the courts. If your partner's ex continues to breach the order, in the first instance a letter from his solicitor reminding her of the terms of the order and the repercussions if she continues to breach it, may do the trick. If not, your partner would have to apply to the courts to have the order enforced. It is worthwhile him keeping a diary of all the breaches for evidence should the matter have to go to court.
SeparatedDads - 22-May-17 @ 12:30 PM
My partner has a court order to see his daughter two days a week and one weekend every month... it's very relaxed, unfortunately... this is not working at all! The mother is constantly bad mouthing the child's father to her and infront of her to which she understands (at 3) and repeats to us, is claiming her new partner is her replacement dad and would be confused if they were both in the playground (children foto same school), she constantly stops him from seeing his daughter and sending upsetting, horrible and hundreds of texts to which is taking its toll on the both of us, he just wants to see his daughter like any father and desperate to make up for the lost time, love and memories... HELP! What do we do next?
Rose - 21-May-17 @ 9:14 PM
Bill - Your Question:
I have a court order for contact which my ex breaches on a regular basis but what she does is get children to phone me to say 'Mummy says we can't see you for a while'This is emotional abuse and very upsetting for the children.It's high time police were given powers to give out penalty fines of £100 to breaching parents then we Dads wouldn't have to go back to Court.

Our Response:
If your ex does this, you may wish to ask a solicitor to write her a letter reminding her of the terms of the order and that no parent involved can unilaterally change the order.
SeparatedDads - 19-May-17 @ 1:11 PM
I have a court order for contact which my ex breaches on a regular basis but what she does is get children to phone me to say 'Mummy says we can't see you for a while' This is emotional abuse and very upsetting for the children. It's high time police were given powers to give out penalty fines of £100 to breaching parents then we Dads wouldn't have to go back to Court.
Bill - 19-May-17 @ 12:10 AM
It was decided in court my daughter would live with her maternal grandma a couple of week ago. Me and father was in court last week for contact and I have found out father has been going to his mums to stay there as he split from his partner don't know what to do. It was agreed contact 2 hours a week for 4 weeks then go from there. I have informed social services but not heard anything back.
kimbo - 16-May-17 @ 8:28 AM
I have a son in England, I live in Canada and am a Canadian. My sons mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2012 before I could move them to Canada. When she finally told me to come get my son as she could not look after him I travelled to get him, but in the few days it took to travel her parents had taken my son. We went to court, and I have a custody arrangement that when I am there in April for Easter I have custody of him. I did not travel there this Easter as I was injured at work and am facing surgery to my dominant hand. The custody order states the grandparents have to bring my son to Canada for two weeks this summer, three weeks next summer, and a month in 2019. I have Skype visits each week and this is going well. I was in contact with his grandfather about when he had planned to bring my son to Canada so I could book time off. Things were going well, and just recently the grandparents told me that they would not be bringing him to Canada because I did not travel at Easter, although the court order does not state I have to. They further went on to tell me that if I come to England I can only have my son for one week like I would have in April.
Todd - 12-May-17 @ 8:53 PM
Dazza - Your Question:
I have a contact order to see my 13yr old. A mobile was provided by me so we can chat/text. We have been meeting up every other weekend and all was going well. She decided she wanted to meet my fiancée and her children. This was 3 weeks ago. I have barely heard anything and I know that my ex wife is the type of person to be controlling the mobile phone. My texts every morning and evening go unanswered. What can I do? Until I hear from my daughter that she is the one that doesn't want to see me, does this then constitute as my ex wife interfering?

Our Response:
If there has been a breach in the contact order, and you are not seeing your child at all on the specified days, then as stated in the article you would have to either try to resolve the matter directly with your ex and if she refuses apply to take the matter back to court to have the order enforced.
SeparatedDads - 2-May-17 @ 12:09 PM
I have a contact order to see my 13yr old. A mobile was provided by me so we can chat/text. We have been meeting up every other weekend and all was going well. She decided she wanted to meet my fiancée and her children. This was 3 weeks ago. I have barely heard anything and I know that my ex wife is the type of person to be controlling the mobile phone. My texts every morning and evening go unanswered. What can I do? Until I hear from my daughter that she is the one that doesn't want to see me, does this then constitute as my ex wife interfering?
Dazza - 1-May-17 @ 7:27 PM
I currently live 200 miles from my ex and my 6 year old kid has to travel every 3 weeks which is an insane amount of travelling. I my look into moving 100 miles from my ex, but the court order states i have to get their permission ... which i know theyll refuse and go for custody on the basis that if little one is being moved then might as well move kid to their house. So if i was just to up and move 100 miles closer what would the likely outcome be for breaking the court order?
Sal Smith - 26-Apr-17 @ 10:22 PM
KT - Your Question:
I have a shared care order an was wondering if the dad is at work is he aloud to leave the children with someone else for a week? When he asked the court to have them for a week?

Our Response:
If your ex has parental responsibility, he is allowed to make decisions regarding the day-to-day welfare of your children, just as you are. However, if your ex is leaving your children with someone else who does not have parental responsibility, and you feel unhappy with the situation and feel your ex has breached the court order, you can step in and request your children are returned to you for the duration and/or until the situation can be resolved.
SeparatedDads - 18-Apr-17 @ 12:55 PM
I have a shared care order an was wondering if the dad is at work is he aloud to leave the children with someone else for a week? When he asked the court to have them for a week?
KT - 17-Apr-17 @ 8:57 PM
I have a contact order to see my son regularly, but my ex unilaterally changes this regularly as it suits "child". Both me and ex have had issues with child's attitude, (angry,aggressive). He "brokedown" and admitted that he asks to see me and mother says no, and doesn't understand why mother is the way she is. I managed to persuade mother to get him to docs and doctor referred him for councilling. After councilling, councillor said he was a lovely boy, which he told me, he then became angry and asked why did I send him to councilling. I told him I didn't, the doctor referred you. He said yes but I referred him to docs. I told him that it was both mother and myself who thought he might benefit. He told me mother said it was all my idea. I then explained I thought he would benefit after what he told me after after his "breakdown". He then denied breakdown and all he said. Ever since then I have had issues with mother and child, to the point that contact order has been broken and child very rarely answers calls or texts and won't let me know what is wrong. I have given up trying to talk to mother as she dismissive and disagrees with what I say about child's attitude and upbringing. Is it worth taking her to court as she has broken court order? Is it worth putting my son through this. His mother is controlling and manipulative, but she'll always be his mother. Any help/advice would be most appreciated.
Chrispy - 25-Mar-17 @ 10:05 AM
I have a contact order to see my son regularly, but my ex unilaterally changes this regularly as it suits "child". Both me and ex have had issues with child's attitude, (angry,aggressive). He "brokedown" and admitted that he asks to see me and mother says no, and doesn't understand why mother is the way she is. I managed to persuade mother to get him to docs and doctor referred him for councilling. After councilling, councillor said he was a lovely boy, which he told me, he then became angry and asked why did I send him to councilling. I told him I didn't, the doctor referred you. He said yes but I referred him to docs. I told him that it was both mother and myself who thought he might benefit. He told me mother said it was all my idea. I then explained I thought he would benefit after what he told me after after his "breakdown". He then denied breakdown and all he said. Ever since then I have had issues with mother and child, to the point that contact order has been broken and child very rarely answers calls or texts and won't let me know what is wrong. I have given up trying to talk to mother as she dismissive and disagrees with what I say about child's attitude and upbringing. Is it worth taking her to court as she has broken court order? Is it worth putting my son through this. His mother is controlling and manipulative, but she'll always be his mother. Any help/advice would be most appreciated.
Chrispy - 24-Mar-17 @ 9:08 PM
I am new to this and wondering what to do. I have been separated from my ex spouse for almost 8 years, when we separated we had a court order in place that I get to take my children every other weekend. Everything was going great until one weekend when a storm hhit I was unable to travel with my children to take them home. My ex called the cop's and my children were picked up. My ex accused me of making this a traumatic experience for the kids and did not want me to see them anymore. I lost track of them for almost 7 years and just found out that my ex remarried and has moved back. I tried to contact them but have been told the children no longer remember me and to just let it drop. They are happy and no longer need me in their lives. What should I do?
missing3 - 17-Mar-17 @ 2:24 PM
Onlinebeaver - Your Question:
I don't want to live with my mum anymore I'm 14 but there's a court order in place I think would rather commit suicide than stay with her

Our Response:
If you do not wish to live with your mother and you wish to live with your other parent, your other parent would have to take the matter to court in order to ask the court's permission.
SeparatedDads - 15-Mar-17 @ 2:53 PM
I don't want to live with my mum anymore I'm 14 but there's a court order in place I think would rather commit suicide than stay with her
Onlinebeaver - 15-Mar-17 @ 8:52 AM
dandleh1 - Your Question:
Hi there, I am rather new to this website, I just need a bit of information about my ex breaking the court order.I have 50% custody of my son, I have him every other week (Fri-Fri), the mother has to reside at her mothers when she has my son on her days, as she was unfit to live by herself with my son, this is stated in the court order.Now I have found out (Hard Proof) that she is now not staying at her mothers, but at a new house with her partner which he brought last year, I have pictures of them staying there, plus my son tells me he doesn't stay at his Nan's anymore but he stay's at mummys new house. the problem is he is only 4 years old, so his word in court is not taken.I know it may seem like I am not letting her move on with life, but my son has come back each time saying he has not had dinner and also that his mom and partner smoke in the house with him there, he comes back with an awful cough and bad tummy every time, I am more worried that my son will suffer more.What I need to know is what counts as proof that she is living there, I have photos of her car there every night when she has my son (at his bed time 7pm), the only thing is what if she tells the court that she just visits each night (even though thats a lie)? Thank you for reading and any advice would be brilliant.

Our Response:
One way around this, is to ask a solicitor to write a letter to your ex specifying that you have proof your ex is in breach of the court order and if she does not stick to the terms, you will take the matter back to court. As a rule, a court will wish to see that you have attempted to make every effort to try to resolve the issue before you apply to have the order enforced. You may also wish to seek some legal advice in order to explore your options - as a solicitor may advise you take a different approach. On another matter, if you are concerned about your son's welfare and you have genuine safeguarding issues, you may wish to seek advice from Social Services who may be able to advise you also. Unfortunately, this may not answer your question here, but there are different ways to approach this issue and much depends upon the level of seriousness of the breach.
SeparatedDads - 14-Mar-17 @ 11:46 AM
Hi there, i am rather new to this website, i just need a bit of information about my ex breaking the court order. I have 50% custody of my son, i have him every other week (Fri-Fri), the mother has to reside at her mothers when she has my son on her days, as she was unfit to live by herself with my son, this is stated in the court order. Now i have found out (Hard Proof) that she is now not staying at her mothers, but at a new house with her partner which he brought last year, i have pictures of them staying there, plus my son tells me he doesn't stay at his Nan's anymore but he stay's at mummys new house... the problem is he is only 4 years old, so his word in court is not taken. I know it may seem like i am not letting her move on with life, but my son has come back each time saying he has not had dinner and also that his mom and partner smoke in the house with him there, he comes back with an awful cough and bad tummy every time, i am more worried that my son will suffer more. What i need to know is what counts as proof that she is living there, i have photos of her car there every night when she has my son (at his bed time 7pm), the only thing is what if she tells the court that she just visits each night (even though thats a lie)? Thank you for reading and any advice would be brilliant.
dandleh1 - 13-Mar-17 @ 12:22 PM
My step-daughter is allegedly refusing to have contact with us (according to her mother- mother wont even allow us to speak to her over phone to confirm this) Bit of background: step-daughter is 8 years old, has had social services involvement 4 times and my husband has had to endure 2 court cases (not cheap) and looks like we are on to our 3rd. Basically, when things fall apart on mothers side, we are penalised and allegations are thrown our way (always unfounded- in fact social services are yet to humour these as they have seen hope in our home on numerous occasions always noting the positive relationships between her siblings and both me and my husband). According to her mother, my step daughter is alleging that my husband threatened to hit her and is too scared and upset to have contact. Please note this coincides with another break-up between mother and her most recent partner. Anyway, mother she has spoken to social services and they have no concerns so have directed her to citizens advice. Mother has breached the court order by refusing the weekend contact as she claims to be 'safeguarding' her daughter. Has there been many success stories re fathers regaining contact? We both work hard, have two other children, have a mortgage to pay etc. Is it worth us spending money to fight. Will mother get help towards legal fees through legal aid, as dont think she could afford the £190 per hour we are going to have to pay? We are stuck in limbo at the moment and just need some help/ if possible reassurance
Lp07 - 17-Feb-17 @ 5:11 PM
I have been in and out of the courts for the past 3 years getting access to my kids from, but constantly being accused of verbally and even physically abusing my kids.I haven't done any of this but just her accusations trigger CAFCASS and Social Services to intervene regardless of the fact that these are all just her lies.We split up because I stopped taking the control she had on me, but all of a sudden she has started a Facebook page called "True Soul Survivors".She has even persuaded a friend of hers who is a DJ on the local BBC radio station to let her do a piece last Friday morning, on which she says how I was an an abuser and a controller in our marriage, which couldn't be further from the truth.She has been clever enough not to mention names, so I don't think I have any recourse.I am at the end of my wits and have serious contemplated leaving this world.I know that sounds over the top but I don't know where to turn and am scared that people will believe her.She is so convincing though.She has just stopped me from seeing the kids unless I am supervised.All this was triggered by me refusing to answer her calls, because she keeps verbally abusing me on the calls and I doin't need to hear that S***.It's also driven by the fact that the CMS have reduced her money by £100 a month because I have the kids for 2 nights every fortnight.I think she is Bi Polar because out of the blue this morning she called and asked me if I would like to take my son to a swimming Gala in 3 weeks, as she was unable to.When I responded with "but I thought you said I was to see them under supervision", her answer was " you will be in the car and there will be plenty of people at the Gala".Suffice to say, I told her I wasn't going to be her babysitter/taxi just when she feels it's ok. The system does not seem to take on board the ridiculousness of her actions.All it does is encourage her to keep the control and abuse up. I don't know whether anyone can advise me, but as far as I am aware the CMS will up her money even though she is in breach of the court order, by stopping me seeing the kids. If I were even remotely what she is accusing me of, I would shut my mouth and take my dues, but I am not and I am fed up with her constant prodding a poking. There has to be a law that can stop it, surely
Claude - 15-Feb-17 @ 2:19 PM
Billious - Your Question:
I took my ex to court to enable me to see my children I won a contact order but I still never saw them as she just refused to let me. I didn't take her back to court as she breached the order because I couldn't afford it and she just poisoned there mind so they didn't want to see me. I didn't want to make matters worse and force them to see me if they didn't want to. It's been 5 years now and my eldest son is 14 and has contacted me and wants to have a relationship with me. Has that order expired or can I use it?

Our Response:
I think in this instance a letter from your solicitor requesting the court order is re-instated should be suffice. However, if your ex still refuses to allow you to have access, you may wish to take the matter back to court to attempt to have the order enforced - especially now your child has expressed a wish to see you. If you can justify your lapse on the basis you have explained, there shouldn't be an issue. Plus, your son is now old enough for his own personal opinion/preference to be considered in court.
SeparatedDads - 3-Feb-17 @ 2:52 PM
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