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Can My Ex Stop Me Taking My Son on Holiday?

By: Emma Jones - Updated: 17 Jan 2017 | comments*Discuss
 
Can My Ex Stop Me Taking My Son On Holiday?

Q.

I booked a holiday to Egypt when my partner and I were together. We have split up and now she is saying I can't take my son on this holiday. He was born after 2003 and I am on the birth certificate, he bears my name, and there are no residental orders or any other legal orders in place.

Where do I stand? I have only been gone two weeks and her boyfriend is already sleeping in my bed. Our son is only 4

(K.C, 15 May 2009)

A.

It sounds as though the split between you and your ex is still fairly recent so it must be very difficult trying to deal with this situation. Not only are you angry, upset and confused about the end of your relationship but are now being stopped from spending time with your son. When you are used to seeing him every day this is obviously going to feel very unfair.

As you are named on the birth certificate you automatically have Parental Responsibility which means you have the right to be involved in the upbringing of your son. You are entitled to a say in all major life decisions that affect him and his wellbeing. However, if he continues to live with your ex, then she have the right to make decisions about his everyday life. As you have split so recently and have no legal settlements in place there is nothing concrete to refer to about who has residence or custody of your son.

Technically, as long as your son has his own passport, you are able to take him out of the country without your ex’s consent. However, legally it is encouraged for you to seek her written consent. At this early stage of your split it would be inadvisable to take him out of the country without her consent as it could work against you in the courts. Your ex is being unreasonable about the situation, especially as you booked the holiday before you split, but if she wanted to cause a fuss then she could apply for a Specific Issue Order to stop you taking him away.

The most important issue here is that you two find a mature way to communicate and concentrate on what is best for your son. He is probably also confused about the split and it would be good for you to spend some time with him. Try to talk rationally and calmly to your ex about the situation. Don’t make accusations or bring her new boyfriend into the conversation, just stick to talking about your son. It would be a good idea to Consider Mediation so that you can find a way to work together amicably.

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Stoo - Your Question:
I'm wanting to go on holiday with my three kids. Its in the same country I live (Scotland) so no passport needed. My ex is fine with this, but doesn't want my girlfriend to go with me. Does she have the right to stop me? I've been with my ex 7 month on the day we leave and the kids love her and she has a daughter of her own. My ex is just being awkward and just wants to make my life hell. She can't stand the fact I'm happy and moved on. My mum & dad will also be coming along so the kids are safe and will be well looked after. I'm only a phone call away and driving distances away if she needed to contact the lids or if anything happened. My ex surly can't stop me taking kids on holiday with my girlfriend who has a clean record and works with kids??? Where do I stand with this?

Our Response:
You would have to apply for a specific issue order through the courts if your ex refuses to give consent to let your kids go with you, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 17-Jan-17 @ 3:03 PM
I'm wanting to go on holiday with my three kids. Its in the same country I live (Scotland) so no passport needed. My ex is fine with this, but doesn't want my girlfriend to go with me. Does she have the right to stop me? I've been with my ex 7 month on the day we leave and the kids love her and she has a daughter of her own. My ex is just being awkward and just wants to make my life hell. She can't stand the fact I'm happy and moved on. My mum & dad will also be coming along so the kids are safe and will be well looked after. I'm only a phone call away and driving distances away if she needed to contact the lids or if anything happened. My ex surly can't stop me taking kids on holiday with my girlfriend who has a clean record and works with kids??? Where do I stand with this?
Stoo - 17-Jan-17 @ 7:00 AM
I have been separated from my ex for about 9 months, we jointly care for our 3 young children sharing about 3.5 days a week each. The situation generally remains amicable provided I am agreable with anything my ex stipulates. However we have always suffered a strong narcisstic influence from my in laws, (grandparents). In a nutshell they have significant financial influence compared to me, often using this to act in a way that ingnores the that of parental responsibility and what is considered best the children. I have heard indirectly that the grandparents, have planned overseas holidays with my children next year. I requested information and have been told it's "none of my business.... as it's thier money and thier grandchildren" I don't suspect there is intention for any foul play, but I do feel my responsibility as a parent and right to make the best choices for my own children, plus my desires to enjoy a holiday with them has been intentionally disregarded for narcissistic self gratification.
Scooter_nuts - 31-Dec-16 @ 8:41 PM
Hi, I'm looking to take my 3 year old daughter to Great Yarmouth for a week next year. I fear my ex may not let me take her, can she legally stop me? As a passport isn't needed. I have parental responsibility as I'm on the birth certificate. Also my ex took my daughter to Denmark without consulting me. How is this possible without my permission?
Mitch - 30-Dec-16 @ 8:31 PM
Me and my wife have separated recently 8 weeks . We were going to wales to see her sister with the 2 children, but they have fallen out as they don't approve on what she has done to end our marriage. can she stop me from taking the children to see there auntie and cousin at christmas.Thanks
Brett74 - 18-Nov-16 @ 11:35 AM
Hi, I have 2 children from a previous relationship and have been to court about access and he was granted every other weekend and phone call's on a Mon and Wed, I have booked a 3 day break for me and our children but it falls on one of my ex's weekends(only the Sunday), I have asked him if he minded me taking them and given plenty of notice of my intent, I got no reply, my girls have recently come back from a weekend with their father and he has discussed this with them (although he was told not to discuss anything with my children regarding me and my life by a CAFCAS officer) he told our children that he would not allow this to happen unless he got certain things back!! our children are very upset that they're not able to go and see's it as my fault because of what daddy said, it is only 5 hours out of his last day of the weekend and he will not let me take them away, any advice as to what I can do would be very helpful, we are due to go away at the end of the month for Halloween, I have bent over backwards to accommodate this man (late phone calls, extra visitation when he asks) but he will not budge one inch when I ask !
Bojangles - 3-Oct-16 @ 3:51 PM
jimbob - Your Question:
I have a cart order to see my daughter on Saturday and Sundays my daughter just said to me, she's going on holiday on Thursday for a week but she said I an not suppose to know about it can my ex do that without telling me

Our Response:
This is always a tricky question to answer, therefore please see article: Breach of Contact or Residence Order: What to Do, here. However, should you wish to take this matter to court to have the order enforced, you would not get a hearing in time. Therefore, if you are unhappy about this matter you may wish to ask your solicitor to draft a letter to your ex reminding her of her obligations and request alternative access arrangements. If you send a solicitor's letter then you also have evidence if she tries to change the order again without notice.
SeparatedDads - 22-Aug-16 @ 12:39 PM
I have a cart order to see my daughter on Saturday and Sundays my daughter just said to me, she's going on holiday on Thursday for a week but she said I an not suppose to know about it can my ex do that without telling me
jimbob - 21-Aug-16 @ 8:21 PM
chatts - Your Question:
My son lives with his mother and she has booked a holiday abroad to a country where I have huge doubts about the security situation, do I have any legal recourse to prevent her from taking him abroad.

Our Response:
Much depends on when the holiday is. Your option would be to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order. A PSO is an order granted by the court in family cases which prevents either parent from carrying out certain events or making specific trips with their children without the express permission of the other parent. However, you would have to apply in good time for the matter to be able to be heard in court. Therefore, I suggest you seek legal advice.
SeparatedDads - 27-Jul-16 @ 11:30 AM
My son lives with his mother and she has booked a holiday abroad to a country where I have huge doubts about the security situation,do I have any legal recourse to prevent her from taking him abroad.
chatts - 26-Jul-16 @ 7:55 PM
@Daddyto3 - There is nothing to say you have to ask permission, but it's always a good idea to let your ex know your plans.
OllieBKS - 20-Jul-16 @ 1:58 PM
Am wanting to take my son to a caravan park for 3days on the agreed days that me and my ex agreed I have our son will I need her permission we won't be leaving the county.
Daddyto3 - 19-Jul-16 @ 10:57 PM
I have a 16 year old daughter who I think is currently out of the country without my permission. I don't have contact with them since they were taken abroad for a holiday 4 years ago. Can I report this as abduction as she is over 16 years of age? What rights do I have? It seems dads have no rights now days except to pay maintainance. Can someone guide me here ?
Leaky - 14-Jul-16 @ 4:52 PM
I'm a mother and how much I believe dads need involvement in the upbringing of my child. I feel the dad gets all the support and the mum no support! I look after her clothes food getting her to school and childminder. Yet the dad, living at his parents does nothing but the half custody is getting used when it suits him. Taking her on holiday for 2weeks without asking me, etc. What do I do as a mum in this situation? I feel made redundant as a mother and don't know who to turn to as all the help is for dads and not for mums!
Mother - 17-Jun-16 @ 6:53 PM
Bentley boo - Your Question:
Hi I split with my X 3 months ago I live and work in Spain she moved back to uk And now won't let me see are have my children 5&7 years old First she let me face time and now nothing What are my rights to have them come to Spain and see me for a week are 2

Our Response:
You would have to seek legal advice and apply through the courts if your ex is refusing access. You have no legal rights per se regarding access to your children - if the matter goes to court, the court will decide what it thinks is in the best interests of your children.
SeparatedDads - 14-Jun-16 @ 2:02 PM
Hi I split with my X 3 months ago I live and workin Spain she moved back to uk And now won't let me see are have my children 5&7 years old First she let me face time and now nothing What are my rights to have them come to Spain and see me for a week are 2
Bentley boo - 13-Jun-16 @ 7:10 PM
Maj - Your Question:
Hi , I saprated two months ago we have four kids together ! Seven , five , three and one. My x she wants to take the children's away for holiday to see her family but I'm not happy I don't feel my kids be safe with my x parents and her family bcs the had abusing children's issue before ! Where should I go and ask to stop my x from this holiday ? Please help me out I don't know about the law that much I just separated !

Our Response:
As specified in the article, you can apply for a Specific Issue Order, please see link here.
SeparatedDads - 6-Jun-16 @ 2:49 PM
Hi , I saprated two months ago we have four kids together ! Seven , five , three and one .My xshe wants to take the children's away for holiday to see her family but I'm not happy I don't feel my kids be safe with my x parents and her family bcs the had abusing children's issue before! Where should I go and askto stop my x from this holiday ? Please help me out I don't know about the law that muchI just separated !
Maj - 6-Jun-16 @ 4:13 AM
god when are you women going to understand that it takes two to make a child y do you think you have the rith to stop a dad taking his kid on holidays its his child two as you be the firstto go with your new boyfriend the sooner thy bring in 50/50 parenting the better as you are the first ones to take money of us men and every ether benefit you can get your hands on that y you fightto stop dads seeing there kids did you no that in the usa there 2 a two yr prison for what thy call PAS parental alienation which is the game you women put on us dads when you dont get your own way i hope tpo god this law comes to the uk as all it duse is mess up the kids heads
LAWMAN - 29-May-16 @ 1:07 AM
My daughter is 11. Me and her mother have been separated for 9 years. Her mother and I get along ok but she can be un reasonable and erratic. Iv learnt if I play her right (ie if I ignore her comments and nod along with her requests so she is happy) things run amicably. I have taken my daughter on holiday many times with her permission but on 2 occasions she has tried to stop us going. Only once has she succeeded, this was 4 years ago, my daughters mother locked my her inthe house so we missed the flight. I want to now take her to Spain for 4 days. I'm worried if I ask her mother she will say no to be awkward and this is not fair on my daughter. My daughters passport has run out. If I renew her passport and take her on holiday (during my arranged days) I'm worried what would happen if she was to be horrible/spiteful and make phone calls whilst we are in Spain. What would happen? My fear is that if she calls and says Iv taken her without permission I could be arrested in Spain and my daughter will be taken by Spanish social services (as it is only me and her going) I do not feel that her mother will think nor care about the implications of a phone call. The call will be to spite me only. My daughter is looking forward to the trip. If I ask her mother, I feel it's 50/50 if she says yes or no. A no would ruin my child's chance of going completely. Thank you for your time in reading this. Any advise is appreciated.
Brown - 9-Apr-16 @ 1:28 AM
I am recently separated. I live in my own house and have done for about 4 months. I have a 6yr Old daughter who I had every weekend up until recently, and now, as agreed, I have every other weekend, and for several days over Easter, etc. I recently said I wanted to take her away for a week in the Summer to Spain for a Holiday. I think I need to state, that there is no "Flight Risk" as I live here, work here, and have no intention of not carrying on my life as it is now. However, when I tried to discuss this she does not want to. My daughter has told me that she heard her Mum and older sister (her half-sister - Same Mother, different Father) who is 14, agreeing that thought she should not go until she was older. I think this is more to do with the fact that her Dad has never offered to take her abroad, and resents the fact that I have. That aside, is there any precedence where the Childs age is relevant?! I have talked to my daughter about whether she would want to come with me for a week long Holiday and she was emphatically enthusiastic about that. Up until 4 months ago, I had been with her virtually every single day since she was born, and looked after her and her sister while her Mother went away for several days abroad for work, etc. so there is no care issues or ability questions ( I am a highly qualified Professional Man). I there any reason why I should not be able to take her away, or action she could take to stop me? There has been NO formal Care Orders, etc. done as there is no reason for this not to be done in co-ordination with each other as it has been so far.
IndependantDad9 - 28-Mar-16 @ 12:03 AM
I am recently separated. I live in my own house and have done for about 4 months. I have a 6yr Old daughter who I had every weekend up until recently, and now, as agreed, I have every other weekend, and for several days over Easter, etc. I recently said I wanted to take her away for a week in the Summer to Spain for a Holiday. I think I need to state, that there is no "Flight Risk" as I live here, work here, and have no intention of not carrying on my life as it is now. However, when I tried to discuss this she does not want to. My daughter has told me that she heard her Mum and older sister (her half-sister - Same Mother, different Father) who is 14, agreeing that thought she should not go until she was older. I think this is more to do with the fact that her Dad has never offered to take her abroad, and resents the fact that I have. That aside, is there any precedence where the Childs age is relevant?! I have talked to my daughter about whether she would want to come with me for a week long Holiday and she was emphatically enthusiastic about that. Up until 4 months ago, I had been with her virtually every single day since she was born, and looked after her and her sister while her Mother went away for several days abroad for work, etc. so there is no care issues or ability questions ( I am a highly qualified Professional Man). I there any reason why I should not be able to take her away, or action she could take to stop me? There has been NO formal Care Orders, etc. done as there is no reason for this not to be done in co-ordination with each other as it has been so far.
IndependantDad9 - 27-Mar-16 @ 11:55 PM
goingbaldquick - Your Question:
I split with my ex a nearly 2 years ago and am awaiting my divorce court date, it's very far from amicable. However I did get joint custody and enjoy having my kids more than I would have if I hadn't gone to court, my question is, I've booked a holiday in England for may bank holiday and informed the ex (in January) im taking them. Didn't get a reply saying she had plans so booked it, roll on a couple of months and she's saying I can't take them ! Can she do this or is it back to court I go ?RegardsM

Our Response:
You would have to take it back to court under a Specific Issue Order. However, you would have to seek legal advice as it may not quite get to court before the May bank holiday.
SeparatedDads - 22-Mar-16 @ 2:30 PM
I split with my ex a nearly 2 years ago and am awaiting my divorce court date,it's very far from amicable.However I did get joint custody and enjoy having my kids more than I would have if I hadn't gone to court,my question is,I've booked a holiday in England for may bank holiday and informed the ex (in January) im taking them. Didn't get a reply saying she had plans so booked it,roll on a couple of months and she's saying I can't take them ! Can she do this or is it back to court I go ? Regards M
goingbaldquick - 19-Mar-16 @ 5:50 PM
Hi wondered if you could help my husband and I separated 6 months ago out children live with me full time. My ex has demanded a 2 week holiday, I have said I feel two weeks is too much this year as the children are used to me always being there. I feel my youngest imperticular will struggle. I have no problem with them going away with him on holiday but feel one week is enough this year. Until the children are used to being without me. I.e he has his own place and they are staying regular. Am I in my legal right to insist on just a week? Thanks.
L - 12-Mar-16 @ 8:35 AM
my partner and I are taking his child abroad for a week all is payed for and permission given every was going fine intill his child who is 14 told his mum we were getting married then things changed he's not coming to the holiday my partner was too demanding it's all getting out of hand my partner now had a solicitor who sending his x letteres up to no she still says no she wanted all the holiday details n insurance n flight details do all this has been given and passed to his x wife's solicitor but there saying they have had nothing so his child still can't come to the holiday the wedding she said yet but no holiday my partner has said he can take her to court but going to cost him a fair bit of money we don't really have but he need this sorting has he got a good case of winninghe pays for his some never missed a payment birthday r Christmas give his childgifts take his child out on days outings when my partner has been allowed to but all that had stopped as the child just keeps says my mum won't let me come this has gone on for years now but this holiday is the last straw can he have his x in court to claim the loss of money spent on the holiday and because this is not my partners fault can he claim bk all court cost from her that he has and is going to pay out she had caused all this for her selfish reasons to get bk still after all this time at my partnerbut the child is 15 this year 16 next year I'm sure the mother can't stop my partner from taking his own child on a holiday
manden - 8-Mar-16 @ 10:19 PM
Mp - Your Question:
Hi, I have been seperated from my ex partner for 8 years. Things were rocky to start with, but after a couple of years, I met my now-wife. She wasn't very pleased to start with and made things difficult for me to see my 2 children (one now 10 and the other 9) but after a while she was fine and pretty much let us have the children whenever suited me and let me tske them on holiday. She does have a tendancy to take her bad moods out on me, even now! She sent me a message asking when id take the children home last week even though we'd already agreed on a time but whilst out with the children, my battery died. My wife had to reply to her message as I was driving but she wasn't happy with this and has now told us (after verbally agreeing) that we cannot take the children away this year because she doesn't like the way she was spoken to. My children are very happy when they are with us and were very excited about coming away with us and my wifes 2 children again this year.My name is on my eldest daughters birth certificate but not my youngest as she moved away when she was pregnant and wanted to claim benefits! Where do I stand? Please help!

Our Response:
I am sorry to hear this and hopefully this is something that may blow over, as it seems as well as punishing you, your ex is also punishing your children as a result. I can only suggest you try to speak to her amicably once the dust settles, to see if she will reconsider. Otherwise your next step would be to suggest Mediation as a way of resolving the issue. If she will not consent to this, your only option would be take it to court for a Specific Issue Order. please see link here. However, you would need to do this at least 8 - 12 weeks prior to the holiday to ensure it reaches court in time. I hope this helps.
SeparatedDads - 1-Mar-16 @ 11:01 AM
Hi, i have been seperated from my ex partner for 8 years. Things were rocky to start with, but after a couple of years, i met my now-wife. She wasn't very pleased to start with and made things difficult for me to see my 2 children (one now 10 and the other 9) but after a while she was fine and pretty much let us have the children whenever suited me and let me tske them on holiday. She does have a tendancy to take her bad moods out on me, even now! She sent me a message asking when id take the children home last week even though we'd already agreed on a time but whilst out with the children, my battery died. My wife had to reply to her message as i was driving but she wasn't happy with this and has now told us (after verbally agreeing) that we cannot take the children away this year because she doesn't like the way she was spoken to. My children are very happy when they are with us and were very excited about coming away with us and my wifes 2 children again this year. My name is on my eldest daughters birth certificate but not my youngest as she moved away when she was pregnant and wanted to claim benefits! Where do i stand? Please help!
Mp - 29-Feb-16 @ 10:07 AM
gazza11 - Your Question:
Where do you stand as the paying parent. and have a mutual agreement in place stating which days I have my son, I go ahead and book a holiday again agreed by my ex partner by text then out of the blue for reasons only known to herself she changes her mind even though I have paid for his place im curious to know if there is any system/process in place for me to claim my money back through my CSA payments?

Our Response:
I'm afraid CSA would not deal with this sort of issue. Your recourse may be to claim the money back through the small claims court if you could prove your ex agreed to the holiday. Or if the holiday is far enough away, you could apply for a Specific Issue Order where the court may produce an order to allow the holiday to continue - please see link: here. I suggest you seek legal advice to see whether it is worth your while.
SeparatedDads - 22-Feb-16 @ 10:30 AM
where do you stand as the paying parent... andhave a mutual agreement in place stating which days i have my son, i go ahead and book a holiday again agreed by my ex partner by text then out of the blue for reasons only known to herself she changes her mind even though i have paid for his place im curious to know if there is any system/process in place for me to claim my money back through my CSA payments?
gazza11 - 21-Feb-16 @ 8:03 AM
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