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JamW, Sb1353, SeanS

Latest Threads
Church Service
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Tigre
8 minutes ago
» Replies: 7
» Views: 80
Court application... Wher...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Astroman
56 minutes ago
» Replies: 4
» Views: 41
Quick Sale of FMH needed
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: Leader1978
1 hour ago
» Replies: 2
» Views: 37
Form E
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: AK2018
7 hours ago
» Replies: 8
» Views: 246
Please help me. Ex being ...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Astroman
8 hours ago
» Replies: 421
» Views: 33,621
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: andynumpty
Yesterday, 06:59 PM
» Replies: 3
» Views: 129
What is my next step?
Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes
Last Post: shoot334
Yesterday, 05:58 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 63
Stopping case advice plea...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: ukchris2013
Yesterday, 04:30 PM
» Replies: 11
» Views: 154
First hearing dispute res...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: JamW
Yesterday, 10:37 AM
» Replies: 7
» Views: 188
More holiday tinkering
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: JamW
06-22-2019, 11:40 PM
» Replies: 170
» Views: 4,713

  Quick Sale of FMH needed
Posted by: Leader1978 - 2 hours ago - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

I've been living in the FMH after we had separated just over a year ago.  I've continued making the mortgage payments in full and my ex has refused to contribute.  The issue is that the ex has relocated and I have in turn followed suit to be closer to the kids and to ensure the court order can be continued to be followed.  Her relocation was out of malice purely to obstruct my weekday contact which currently is 2 weekday nights every week, my relocation has thwarted her schemes. 

The question I have is that I can no longer continue making mortgage payments on the FMH as well as the payments on my new accommodation.  I'm in receipt of 3 valuations from estate agents and really need to get the house on the market however, my ex is hell bent on full disclosure and negotiations, I don't have an issue with that but financial proceedings can go on for months and in the meantime, their is a joint mortgage liability that needs to be paid. 

Am I able to notify the ex that I am intending on putting the FMH on the market and any proceeds will be kept in a Holding Bank Account so that they can be accounted for during the financial settlement?  Not sure of my options here.

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  Court application... Where to send?
Posted by: Sector78G - 2 hours ago - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

I've filled out the relevant form and made 3 copies so that I can apply for a CAO.

Stupid question.. But how to I know where to send them?.. I'm self representing and can't find an address to mail them to.

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  Church Service
Posted by: Sb1353 - 3 hours ago - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

Hi Dads,

I have a question that you may able to help. How do I stop my ex to take my young children to Church?


Separated from my ex for almost 11 months now. We have to children aged 4.5 and 1.5 years old. When we were together we decided not to bring up our children religious and let them decide what they want to do when they are grown up adults. My ex is religious and used to go to church before we met. I am Atheist and don't believe anything.   

Since separation, ex has started going to church ( I think she is asking for forgiveness after all lies she has told everyone) and taking children with her. This is really making me angry as I believe she is being spiteful by doing this.
I have raised this with my solicitor and the answer I had was she is going to Church just for social and making friends. I suggested she would go to local playgroup and it;s more likely she would find someone in similar situation rather than a church.

I am still going through Court proceeding an I want full residency. Like other fathers on here, I have been victim of false allegations and having to do fact finding hearing.

Any thoughts?

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  What is my next step?
Posted by: shoot334 - Yesterday, 05:58 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - No Replies

Hi, I attended court on Friday 20.06.2019 as my ex had refused to allow me to take my son on a foreign holiday. He is 13 years old and i have him 9 days in the month overnight. In accordance with our agreed Contact order we must give each other 3 months notice prior to holiday commence. I gave her 6 months notice but she continue to refuse giving different reasons for not allowing me to take him. 

Went to court in February ( ex breached contact order but judge did nothing about it), also raised about taking son on away on planned holiday as my ex stated i needed to get sorted by court. Judge dismissed  this and told me to sort this out through mediation. Arranged mediation(10 weeks later) only to be told again by my ex that she is not in agreement with me taking my son on holiday and this was finale. (We have been separated/divorced over 12 years now).

I submitted a Specific Contact Order along with an ex-parte application. This judge refused to agree(12.06.2019) to this and listed it for court the following week as she wanted my ex to be there. 

Judge refused to allow me to take my son on holiday (29.06.2019) and sided with my ex. My ex had stated that due to me not taking my son away on a foreign holiday  along with my son`s mental health( my ex sent my son to psychology sessions without my agreement) as he had tied a ligature (only found this out when attended mediation weeks after this had occurred) and apparently he was being referred to CAMHS due to his behaviours of self harm. This along with my son having constipation last year which resulted in him needing to come home a day early from a 3 day break with his mum. Judge ruled that due to these issues and that she has not the time to get my son in front off her, coupled with the need of medical and mental health assessments she would not grant me an order to allow me to take my son away. I felt that no matter how much i argued against what the judge had decided, the outcome was always going to be the same. Case dismissed!!!

I feel that this is another attempt by my ex to use coercive control over what i can or cannot do as when she doesn't have the control, contact with my son is reduced or stopped. 

This means that I will be going on holiday this Friday without my son and a finical loss incurred.  My ex had done this 4 years ago when I had a planned holiday with my new partner only for my ex to leave my son with me( his bag packed, passport and his meds all ready for me to take him with me, received text at 07.00 telling ) as my ex cleared off on a holiday herself. Lost my holiday and short time later on her return was denied contact for 6 weeks with my son. These behaviours resulted in me seeking a contact order which has been abused by my ex without any consequences. 

What is my next step as i feel I have no way forward without my ex continuing with the control tactics which has been very much apparent  over these past 4 years and my concerns on the impact of this on my son`s mental welling being?

Any help on this front would be great.

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  Stopping case advice please
Posted by: ukchris2013 - Yesterday, 02:14 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (11)

Hi all.. me and ex going through court case and I have started a domestic abuse programme.. I currently have 8 sessions left out of 30... me and my ex has now talked and even met in person and we agree what we both want..

Cafcass has recommended contact centre to start with but we both disagree and would now like to do things between ourselves..

Is there anything we can do as the next court hearing isn’t until October..

Could we not cancel the court case then send a consent order to the court with what we want?

Or will they never allow this because of the abuse programme..

Is there any info or advice you could give us as we both are in agreement

Thanks in advance

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Posted by: thelongroad - 06-22-2019, 09:03 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (3)

I have a court order that states for summer holidays they should be shared mother first week, and then alternated with me having 6th and final week of summer. However, mother was also granted an exception as already booked dates of 15th August until 23rd August. My concern is the 15th is on a Thursday of my 4th week. I am not overly worried but interested what others would do in this situation? Would you take back the days owed as such later in holiday so it remains fair and equal. Also my son breaks up on Tuesday 23rd July which means Mum misses one day. Is that just the way it goes or does this need to be addressed? Any experience of this would be much appreciated. Thanks

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  First hearing dispute resolution appointment (FHDDA)
Posted by: warwickshire1 - 06-22-2019, 12:10 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

Hi was wondering what I might come away with self representing.  Currently not seen children since January 2019, theres a court order in place where I have half of the holidays fri until Monday every 2 weeks and play and supper during week every week on a Tuesday.

This maybe a good thing rather than lay magistrates I have a district judge , there is a long history of ex  been awkward and coaching children , alcohol test that was negative and many other things. Children are on a child protection  plan also where social services have been of no help.  

I am doing a parenting course which is good as u can always Improve as a parent and learn.  What the problem is I have had  no contact and even a letter was refused  by ex to be read to children. My eldest son done like a flying kick and landed on his shoulder and had a fractured collar bone whilst in my care . I took him to hospital a day later as didnt know he had fractured collar bone and he refused to go and I thought he be ok next day . When eldest son returned to ex partners care few days later she has got him and my youngest son to say I have done it  and  now been charged with gbh with intent but havent  been stopped seeing kids other than by ex partner who wants me out of her life. She is manipulative and narcisstic . 

Family courts are only people that do know what she is like , i have asked for supervised for very least as not seen them for so long . I am on trial later this year but have lots of evidence to produce that will show ex is lying

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  Putting my son in private school ( currently Indirect contact only)
Posted by: ashkhan - 06-21-2019, 07:46 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Hey guys.

My son who is going to be 12 and finishing primary school and supposed to be going to one of the nearby academy.
I only have indirect contact with my children which they never replied for over a year now. Nothing from current school sent to me so I don't know what is going one with my children as the ex working in the same school.

I have PR, Can I send my son to local private school and pay all the costs? What are my rights to make my ex send our son to private school instead of local academy? Private school has good reputation and I am sure will benefit him getting quality education. i also mentioned that in my last letter to my son via indirect contact so I am the ex knows about it.


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  advice - extra curricular overload
Posted by: proud_dad - 06-20-2019, 09:52 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (8)


Need advice dads.

History - Divorced, negotiated through mediation that children live with me 5 nights in 14 + 3 hours of tea time mid-week, every other week:

Stretch 1: Friday-Tuesday morning 
Stretch 2: Monday + Wednesday tea time

In the 5 days they live with me:
Friday - no after school activities
Saturday - Swimming
Sunday - homework club
Every Monday - after school sports club + tuition lesson in my home

On top of this, every day when they are living with me, I sit with the eldest kid to help with reading, writing and maths.

Now the problem is the narcissist has tried to add more activities on the days they live with me. I have pushed back. 

She is now saying she is going to enroll the eldest to a saturday school club that runs from 9am to 2pm. This will eat into the little time they live with me and costs a bloody arm and a leg (I pay CMS on time, and 50% of other kid related expenses).

I need to compose something that feels amicable, yet firmly tells the narc. that when they live with me, I chose to do what is best for the kids.

Advice please! This is stressing me out!

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Lightbulb Going for Clean break. help needed.
Posted by: ashkhan - 06-20-2019, 10:26 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (3)

Hey guys.

As the divorce is nearly finished I would like to do the clean break.
What is actually included.

We had 3 houses.
1- Family home. now sold for 120k
2- investment property . ex lives there now. worth 80k with 50k equity
3- my current house that I bought a year before marriage, we married and lived here for a month before moved to family home till separation.  worth 80k now with 60k equity. 

My question is, I am clear about the 1 & 2 that should be 50/50 but what abut my current house no 3 will it be also part of the asset for clean break?  I always paid the mortgage for this house myself from the rent collected and the Ex never contributed any repayments as she was not working till the end.

Including all 3 house in clean break . I will have to pay her 65k and not including my house I would pay 35k to her. any thoughts? thanks

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