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Advice needed please!
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Londoniandad
4 hours ago
» Replies: 7
» Views: 106
Starting a divorce proces...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: SteveyA
11 hours ago
» Replies: 1
» Views: 110
Ex stopped receiving paym...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: rotherwell
Yesterday, 08:23 AM
» Replies: 4
» Views: 169
Capital Gains?
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: Fatcat1980
Yesterday, 07:43 AM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 171
ABUSE...hurts so much
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
08-21-2019, 05:27 PM
» Replies: 11
» Views: 642
Judgement day !
Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes
Last Post: Leader1978
08-21-2019, 09:17 AM
» Replies: 22
» Views: 845
DVPP Course
Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes
Last Post: samim1919
08-21-2019, 12:51 AM
» Replies: 7
» Views: 1,006
Advice on Position Statem...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Astroman
08-20-2019, 10:39 AM
» Replies: 5
» Views: 181
Please help me. Ex being ...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Astroman
08-19-2019, 09:45 AM
» Replies: 570
» Views: 57,605
My experience thus far
Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes
Last Post: beehive84
08-18-2019, 07:47 PM
» Replies: 7
» Views: 481

  Advice needed please!
Posted by: Londoniandad - Yesterday, 10:22 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

I'm hoping to get some advice as my battle so far has cost me 20,000 and I'm now without legal advice.

My ex and I got a court order last year from magistrates. The original s7 recommended 5 nights a fortnight and 50% holidays. However, at the contested hearing, the cafcass officer changed her mind and recommended 4 nights a fortnight, 50% of 6 week hols and no extra time in other holidays.

My barrister didn't contest this and the Magistrates agreed with the cafcass officer's new recommendations. After the Magistrates left, we realised there was an error with the 6 week holidays arrangements and revised it there and then between ourselves so that the 6 weeks had a 3/4 and 4/3 pattern. Since then, my ex has booked 3 holidays that have meant I've lost time.

I complained to cafcass who admitted fault, to a certain extent, but ultimately said it was up to the Magistrates not them.

I then did a C100 to try and change the arrangements. We went in July and we have another hearing in November to conclude.

I am asking for every other weekend, currently have Fri - Sun 3pm every other week.

Every Tuesday, which is what I have now.

I'm also asking for an extra night per 14 days when it's not my weekend so my kids don't go 7 days without contact.

I also want 50% of all school holidays as I work in education so no alternative childcare arrangements need to be made {they currently spend time with 3rd parties}

In the 6 weeks, I'm thinking a pattern of 3/4 and 4/3 for the first fortnight, then 7 with me and 7 with her for the second, then back to 4/3 and 3/4 for the last fortnight, so we both have chance to take them away.

She disagrees saying it's too much time away from their sibling, even though she technically has a 50/50 agreement with her ex and my kids have said multiple times that their sibling often isn't there when they are.

I have been told to write a position statement that my ex will respond to but I want the original justice's reasons for their decision to see if they admit basing the agreement on cafcass recommendations so I can contest it based on my complaint and cafcass's response.

I have been waiting 6 weeks to get the justice's reasons and have not had them despite the legal advisor telling me she would send them out. I've contacted court but had no response. My position statement is due in 2 weeks and I don't want to send a statement without having all of the information.

What do you think my chances are? Any advice for the position statement? Should I submit my statement without the justice's reasons? Am I allowed to use evidence to support my position statement as it is not technically a position statement?

Thanks in advance.

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  Ex stopped receiving payments
Posted by: rotherwell - 08-20-2019, 04:37 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (4)

Hi everyone don't know why ex has done this but I can no longer give her maintenance payments, received no info from her and she cut me out of contact with my two children about 3 years ago, maybe giving her £66.66 or labelling the bank transfer to 'evil witch fund' did it but either way she has my email for contact if the worst situation was to happen, any clues would help x thanks in advance x

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  Advice on Position Statement submitted
Posted by: andynumpty - 08-18-2019, 06:00 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

Ok, so we have a hearing on the 27th August and a Court letter states this:

"Applicant and Respondent to file and serve short position statements as to that issue within 14 days to be determined on representation"

So if the hearing is on the 27th does that mean 14 days before the hearing, by the 13th August or just anytime within 14 days before the hearing?

I submitted mine on the 13th to Court, ex and her Solicitor but received nothing from them as yet.

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  Starting a divorce process coming off child protection plan
Posted by: bitterending1818 - 08-16-2019, 04:10 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (1)


I need advice as women i am living with is 100% fake and dangerous can put any charges on me anytime.

All she wants is more money and nothing else. Her main priority is my hard earned money, i have paid her close to 100k in last few months as she put fake allegation on me and social services involved for last 9 months of harassment to ask me to confirm of domestic violence that never happened.

The main reason i am with her is the moment i leave she will leave this country without my permission and take my both kids. to blackmail me to pay more money.

I reported that to social services and rather than helping me they are after me from last 9 months to accept domestic violence. They did not listen to one of my comment and helping her and no help for kids or me.

I am worried the moment i start divorce process she will put any fake allegation again domestic violence rape drugs anything she can getaway with to get more cash from me.

I have started my business in last 4 to 5 months limited company and i am in regulated environment so if she makes up wrong and fake allegation i can be out of business due to regulation.

Police or social services dont want to listen to me so i am so scared for my well being as they all come really hard on men with out looking at any evidence or questions. Not sure what happens to my new business i have had turn over of of around 20k and earned around 10 to 12k in business do i have to close this or give her 50% of business to her.

As she dont know single thing about my business its really unfair to give anything from my business to her.

please advice where to start also any advice how to save any police cases or any other fake allegations please.

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  Judgement day !
Posted by: SeanS - 08-15-2019, 04:05 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (22)

place holder for updates from tomorrow' directions hearing ( section 7)

representing myself. Dropped off the trial bundle and 'note' to the judge yesterday, that also has the draft order. I can't wait to take the children out of contact center starting from Saturday !

want to take a moment to reflect back on the journey started exactly a year ago Aug 2018 ! And thank each and everyone who helped me to get here so far...I don't think I could have done it alone, I'm pretty sure about that.

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  Capital Gains?
Posted by: TomTom2468 - 08-14-2019, 09:33 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

Hi all

My ex and 2 children are currently living in the former family home which i have 50% share in.  I currently do not pay anything towards the house, only child maintence each month.

My ex plans to sell the home and move up north with the children.  

I have recently been told that i may have to pay Capital Gains on any profit from the house sale.  There is an agreement in place in the form of a deed of separation which states that the proceeds of the house will be split between myself and my ex after solicitor fees, help to buy fees etc.  

Will have to pay Capital Gains?


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  specific issues order for childs medication
Posted by: trickster001 - 08-14-2019, 09:19 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies


I am currently awaiting my final hearing,where I am applying for custody of my daughter,but it is some way off.My main area of contention is that my ex neglects my daughters medical needs,and I am concerned that my ex has not been administering my daughter her antibiotics,which I will find out later today.This would not be the first time this has happened and,should I find out this is the case should I apply for an emergency specific issues order to push for my ex to comply with these type of responsibilities?,or maybe some form of non molestation order?. I received a reasonable section 7 report, but the CAFCASS officer classed most of my issues as low level,and seems to have built quite the rapport with my ex unfortunately while taking weeks to reply to me.

thanks in advance

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  Financial Split (Consent Order)
Posted by: AK2018 - 08-13-2019, 06:35 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

Stbx showed me draft consent order for finances. As per my knowledge it sounds ok. 40/60 split in her favour as agreed with an option of buying other party out. But I could not see anything mentioned that she will settle one credit card used for her needs and return deposit used to buy house. As per our mutual agreement 12k should be returned to me from the house of sale before we split it.
I have asked why it's not on the agreement and response was that her solicitor won't put it and I need to ask my solicitors to add in consent. It does not make sense. If her solicitors drafting they definitely can add a line that 12k should be returned to me and the remaining debts should to be covered from the sale of house. Once it's sorted we would split 40/60.

I am pretty sure a line can be added to the agreement, but correct me if I am wrong.

Let me know your thoughts.

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  false allegations in lives with cases
Posted by: Tigre - 08-12-2019, 07:57 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

Quick question
In a case where child lives with mother and spends time with father, when mother makes (false) allegations, the protocol as far as I understand, is investigation by social services and/or police, and stopping contact in the meantime. Once allegations are dismissed contact is reinstated as per SS recommendations or back to same as before depending on the situation I guess. It seems authorities still have to go through this procedure even if ex has made several false allegations before 

What happens if mother does the same, falsely accuses dad, but theres a lives with both order in place? Can SS/police etc still stop contact between father & child whilst they're investigating, or they will need to allow the child to still be in fathers care whilst they carry out their investigation because child lives with father?

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  ABUSE...hurts so much
Posted by: grandma - 08-12-2019, 01:22 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (11)

Its been quite a while since I last posted and that is because sometimes (like today) I feel so negative about our situation.  And so worried about my son's mental and physical health.  I don't know how much longer he or we can put up with this abuse of us and our granddaughter.
We did find a solicitor who was very forthright about the fact that we had left it very late to instigate Court (finances do come into play here but maybe she never thought about that!).  She was right though..."A "(grandaughter) is now nearly 5 years old and fully coached and coerced, I call it brainwashed.   
He was told by ex he could have A stay overnight (one night only) from february this year but that has not worked out because A is frightened of the monsters in the house or the man who can break through the front door. No prizes for guessing where that originates.  And she has been coached to "love love love mummy", "want, want, want mummy" (massively obvious) which creates separation anxiety.
My son has tried so hard to settle her down at night but A does not have a routine at home, she stays up late and has always (still does) shared mummys bed.  A is fine on the day he gets her, she adores her daddy who plays with her lots and takes her to nice places like the zoo, but come the evening when its time for bed, she cries for mummy.  By the early hours my son is exhausted and takes her home.  Last week he persevered and  she cried and cried but went to sleep at 4am. Great in the morning, loved being there for breakfast.  Because she stayed, he has been "punished"....ex has various methods of getting to my son in the worst possible ways.  
I am not allowed to have her overnight..A herself has told me mummy said so.  She also keeps saying she has secrets..one confused little girl.  She says things but we never question her..she gets enough interrogation once she gets back to her mother.
So, why have we not instigated Court, you may ask?    We have done the c100 form and part done the other (the abuse form) but abuse is deadly.
He has had 5.5 years of abuse when he was with her, dreadful things went on behind closed doors but she is careful to appear sweet and charming to the outside world.  They may have split up when A was 3 months old (with the help of the police) but the abuse is ongoing.  This woman is in a class of her own with her poisonous ways and she gets enjoyment from controlling this awful situation.  The effect on my son is that he lives in a highly stressful state, sometimes depressed, often angry, lonely, despairing, tearful.  Strong enough for the Court procedure...no.   Am I?  No. And my husband is battling cancer. 
Is there any help out there?   Well, I have looked everywhere and there seems not.  In fact we would come across as the "loony" pair if we opened up to the authorities...ex is very convincing as an actress ..and we fear we would lose this battle.  certainly I cannot talk to anyone about what is happening, pointless as no friends understand..just think its a domestic.  One said "oh, you do see your granddaughter..some people dont even get that".  "or he should man up" (never been as keen on that friend since! )  We used to be a normal happy family but now are one that is desperately sad and fearful for the future. 
A starts school soon and then there will be another battle to get access.   He is not allowed to take her on holiday and today has been a bad day for my son because he sees all these families with their children and his friends taking their little ones on holiday.  He feels, quite rightly, that he is just a glorified babysitter on the 2 days he has her whilst ex works. She rings up constantly to fnd out where A is, what she is doing, who she is with and then raps orders to my son.. the control is immense but you have to understand that he is not the confident young man he once was..he is broken and she enjoys what she is doing, creating fear and immense pain.  When he plucked up courage to ask when he will be able to see A once school starts, she says she is not discussing that.  When he goes to collect A for the day, ex keeps him waiting in the car for 10-15 minutes. Control.
We will go to Court..its the only option but god knows what the result will be. I cannot feel confident. CAFCAS will think we are nuts rather than emotionally messed up (probably both).  As I type this, I am tearful. This morning my son cried.
Sorry I have gone on and on but thank you for reading this. It helps me to take the cork out of the bottle (thats my made up saying!). x

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