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Latest Threads
CMS & deliberate unemploy...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: Astroman
5 hours ago
» Replies: 3
» Views: 116
Gone & bumped my head a b...
Forum: New Partners, Relationships
Last Post: Tom_W88
5 hours ago
» Replies: 3
» Views: 104
Parenting Assesment
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: scotay
6 hours ago
» Replies: 0
» Views: 19
Order Variation MIAM
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Kate
8 hours ago
» Replies: 1
» Views: 40
Christmas gone
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
Yesterday, 08:49 PM
» Replies: 4
» Views: 100
Court Costs
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: JamW
Yesterday, 02:28 PM
» Replies: 3
» Views: 90
Pro Bono Representation
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: BirminghamUK
12-07-2019, 05:20 PM
» Replies: 4
» Views: 138
Supervised sessions
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: BirminghamUK
12-07-2019, 05:08 PM
» Replies: 14
» Views: 862
Coparenting calendar arra...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: proud_dad
12-07-2019, 11:19 AM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 39
school issues
Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc
Last Post: jamesbond
12-06-2019, 05:28 PM
» Replies: 12
» Views: 1,244

  Parenting Assesment
Posted by: scotay - 6 hours ago - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

Court have now ordered parenting assessments to be completed on myself and ex, daughter currently lives with me.

Can anybody brief me on what this will be about and if i need to prepare?

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  Order Variation MIAM
Posted by: BirminghamUK - Yesterday, 07:03 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

I plan to go back to court to vary an existing order issued in sept 2019. The MIAM for that took place Sept 2018.

When applying for the variation we fill out the c100 again. Does anyone know if I need to attend yet another MIAM costing £100 before I can make the application for variation to existing proceedings / court order that is being adhered to?

Appreciate responses, many thanks

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  Christmas gone
Posted by: Charlie7000 - Yesterday, 12:43 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

So as expected, ex continues with saying son's wishes and feelings should dictate the court order, backed up by a useless recital made at my enforcement hearing which says that both parents will fully consider child's changing wishes and feelings.

So she has just changed all the court ordered Christmas arrangements so he spends the full 10 days of Christmas and New Year with her, with just one day on boxing day here (followed by a full week with her).  It is still half the holidays as she has "given me" 2.5 days at the beginning and 4 days at the end after New Year.

Again it is a breach but cleverly unenforceable due to her claiming these are son's wishes now he's older and he still comes for half the holiday period.  It's making me sick. He has no doubt been coerced and persuaded into this.

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  Coparenting calendar arrangements advice
Posted by: proud_dad - 12-07-2019, 11:19 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies


Despite agreeing and signing off on a years worth of calendar arrangements, narcissist ex continues to give me problems around holidays.

We have standard term time days that are fixed. When there is a holiday, it basically plonks on top of time term days over riding them, until the term starts where the term time dates continue as per normal.

Ex keeps going on about how this confuses her despite the fact that I put dates of everything well in advance in the shared care Google calendar.

What do you all do with your holiday to term time calendar transition?

Thanks in advance.

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  Gone & bumped my head a bit
Posted by: DanDad - 12-06-2019, 04:17 PM - Forum: New Partners, Relationships - Replies (3)

Been a while since I've posted anything on here & a lot has happened since I have.

Split with my ex back in June last year, sold the FMH in September this year, she's bought a place nearby & lives there with my two boys & I have also bought a place of my own. Hadn't had any involvement with anyone else since the split.

Two weeks before I moved house I had a weekend away with some old friends I haven't seen in years, a particular female was there who I've known for about 8 years & we've always had a thing for each other. Suffice to say, as soon as we found out that we were both now single, it didn't take long for that to progress & my 14th month abstinence in that department was well & truly broken, what a weekend!

She stayed the first two night's in my new house when I moved in & yes, we were at it like rabbits the whole weekend again & we saw a fair bit of each other from then on, nights at mine, meeting up for meals in the evening, took her away for a weekend, WhatsApping daily & I completely fell for her, she did the same with me. She really is an amazing person.

Over the last month though she really began deteriorating, the affection was still there although she was becoming very vacant inside. Comments were made about how she can't see as much of me as she'd like due to me having my boys every other weekend & she'd also only split up with her ex just 5 weeks before we met again that weekend. She's having a real hard time with that one (that's a very long story but suffice to say she's not regretting breaking up with him or anything, she'd love nothing more than to just see the back of him but it's very financially complicated & she stands to possibly loose her house of 20 years, she was with him for 7). She's also going through a bit of a medical scare at the moment too.

A couple of weekends back she admitted to me that she was clinically depressed, cried all the time for no reason & was just completely lost with herself. The contrast in the women I've known, the life & soul of the party, to who was sat with me that day was heartbreaking & I began to see the end coming as nothing I could say or do would be able to get her out of the dark place she'd fallen into.

This weekend it happened. I did a very difficult thing & let her go, she needs time to find herself again & become that happy & wonderful person she was before. There were lots of tears from both ends & I left the door open to her & said that when she's healed her wounds & found herself again to come & find me.

As admirable as I think that was, I feel like utter shit now. There's absolutely nothing I could've done for her but I'm now left feeling like a love sick puppy, completely grieving (even more so than when I split up with my ex of 17 years), stomach in knots every day since, not sleeping well, not eating much & every time my WhatsApp tone goes on my phone I hope it's her (it isn't, just my mate sending me more porn).

How the hell did this happen?

In the one hand I'm hoping that she will get back in touch one day, when she's healed & ready, & we can pick things up again. In the other hand though I feel like I should just completely let go & move on.

Not necessarily looking for an answer here, more of an open up from me as I haven't really spoke to anyone since this weekend & felt this was a good place for a bit of release.

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  CMS & deliberate unemployment
Posted by: scotay - 12-06-2019, 09:30 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)

In court yesterday for a usual court progression of my case and fixing dates for final hearing.

The bitterness and hatred in the ex is so deeply ingrained its frightening.

Daughter came to me as part of as social services stepped in and changed residency, as a result of that i stopped paying ex maintenance for daughter and approached the subject of her now paying support, was completely ignored.

This was in May, got CMS involved and they got ignored too and ended up taking direct payment from her salary in October, £300 odds a month, with the arrears to pay her salary is getting garnished to about £400pm right now.

In court yesterday she rants at me she has now left her job and i will not be getting a penny from her for daughter.

Anybody know how the CMS will treat a paying parent such as her who deliberately gives up a good paying job simply to get out of paying support?

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  Court Costs
Posted by: scoot76 - 12-06-2019, 04:34 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)


I'm due my final hearing in February however due to being made redundant in June amongst other things I had to declare bankrupt and I am now working a part time temporary job, this has left my in a position where I can't afford legal fees and as such am at risk of not having representation at the final hearing which is to question the cafcass report and have a content hearing. Does anyone know of any charities that can help with a loan?



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  Ex trying to stop contact
Posted by: Cheese_head_1986 - 12-04-2019, 04:15 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

So following on from my last post, my exs solicitor has contacted me saying that she wants to stop all contact until our child is old enough to make her own choices. This is the same argument she's used throughout. Our child is 3 and the contact centre is still trying to explore all available options for her to assist in re-establishing contact. Surprise surprise the ex is refusing.

Looks like she's going to try and change the court order to end all contact, given that all the reports and notes from the contact centre for 3 years has been nothing but positive towards me, do you think it's in any way likely that a court would just stop contact when there's no harm to the child?

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  Cafcass not fit for purpose
Posted by: Charlie7000 - 12-04-2019, 07:11 AM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (1)

Has anyone ever complained about a Cafcass officer, and if so what was the result?  I have had the same one twice and she causes havoc.  She is rude, bossy, arrogant, sexist, clearly hasn't read the information and frankly a loud bully who is putting children at risk because she makes massive assumptions.  First time I had her I was grilled, bullied and even shouted at - it went on for four hours (this was supposed to be reaching agreement).  It's like she turns into my ex and repeats all her nastiness to me word for word.  At my recent hearing, same woman again and she wouldn't let anyone speak,not me, not my Barrister - just told me what my son wanted.  She can f.... off - she doesn't know my son!  Then said she knows what divorce is like and how much animosity there is.  Wrong.  I haven't been divorced - I have parented son since birth - she clearly hadn't read the application.  It is outrageous.  It was supposed to be an enforcement hearing but she clearly took ex's side and repeated all her lies.

I know they are not always the friendliest of types - but I went to court to protect my son's interests with both parents, not to be abused. When I'm getting enough abuse from my ex already. Her attitude was shocking - apart from the rudeness - as if I was just someone he "visits". Why wouldn't he want to go to his Mother's and get changed before he comes to see you? Why? Because all his life he's had a home with me! He gets changed here. xxxxx!

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  Pro Bono Representation
Posted by: BirminghamUK - 12-03-2019, 08:23 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

Anyone had any experience with pro bono representation? Does anyone know if I can get it endorsed by my local PSU?

I've had an email today saying I need to get a pro bono application endorsed by either solicitors, MP, law clinic or CAB.

I'm wondering how strenuous this task will be if anyone can help with advice I would be grateful.


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