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Harassment during contact...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: scotay
7 minutes ago
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Financial separation - in...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: Alibash
1 hour ago
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» Views: 137
Instructed my solicitor f...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
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8 hours ago
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Complete mess and don't k...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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Yesterday, 05:21 PM
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Need to vent
Last Post: AK2018
10-21-2019, 03:48 PM
» Replies: 2
» Views: 99
how do you check if CB is...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: SeanS
10-21-2019, 12:46 PM
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Unsure where to post
Last Post: SteveyA
10-21-2019, 09:39 AM
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Advice needed
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: AK2018
10-20-2019, 01:13 PM
» Replies: 119
» Views: 21,862
court again?
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: warwickshire1
10-18-2019, 11:45 AM
» Replies: 1
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Checking child’s phone
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Marky207
10-17-2019, 01:48 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 135

  Financial separation - income
Posted by: Alibash - 10-21-2019, 10:57 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)


I'm currently going through financial separation through mediation and I have a question regarding income disclosure.

My ex only disclosed her salary with deductions from payroll. But she didn't consider the child maintenance that she receives from me or any benefit (child credit/Child benefit/housing benefits if she receives any).

Should this be mentioned as income as well?

It seems unfair if she's not required to mention this...? Mediation hasn't raised that point, so I'm unsure.

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  Need to vent
Posted by: AK2018 - 10-21-2019, 01:55 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (2)

Thought communication is getting better with stbx..but she is full of hate towards me ...
Making bad comments in front of the kids, everything I do is wrong in her eyes...I just holding myself...not sure for how long. At the moment I do regret that I have not asked for full residence of my son.
It sounds that I will need to start our child arrangments, but this will open a new can of worms. I just want to live happy and enjoy time with a kids.
It's school holidays and I took week off and already she is telling me that she has plans with him!! Enrolled him to local football club and he is over the roof. Unfortunately my ex said she won't take him to club once it's her weekend and I know I can't do anything about it. So every other weekend he will miss football and swimming classes. It's just insane. She has enrolled him to karate classes during weekdays, and I can't say no - will take him during my schedule because our son likes all activities.
It just doesn't sound my life will be problem free ever. I need to implement our agreed child arrangments as soon as possible..but it will open few more cans of worms

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  how do you check if CB is being claimed?
Posted by: proud_dad - 10-20-2019, 10:54 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi dads,

I have a quick question - how does one go about checking if mother has registered to claim CB for a child?

I ask because 1 year ago, she was asking me to register the kid for child benefit. I ignored because I knew that post-divorce, she would claim it for herself. Our other kid is registered, and she claims the CB. 

She couldn't register, as she is not from the UK.

Thanks in advance.

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  Unsure where to post
Posted by: restart - 10-20-2019, 02:13 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (1)


I would like to divorce my wife. However, I want to keep my children with me. Ages 12 (boy) and 6 (girl). 

History of domestic violence in 2015, then in 2017, wife being the perp. 

Whats the best way to handle this so that I can gain custody of my children with them seeing mother on weekends or something, with an arrangement?

Also, there are incidents in the house which no one sees except my children and I. Erratic and irrational behaviour which goes unnoticed by outsiders because she puts on a mask when others are around. I would like to log these for future reference when I apply for divorce. Whats the best way to do this, short of setting up hidden cameras around the house ?

Is keeping a journal any good?

I made the mistake of taking this woman back into my house two years ago because she was faced with homelessness, but I realise the massive mistake I made by doing that!

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  court again?
Posted by: avadad - 10-17-2019, 06:52 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

ok do i have to go to mediation for a second time? i stop contact 8 months ago, due to being ill, still am,, on the first mediation the ex did not go due to being free solicitor, dv ect, not true. at all, anyhow ive asked my horrible ex nicely tho, if she will reinstate contact and nothing back,  i must say ive had got a court order since last oct, do i file a c79 enforcment order, even tho i stop contact, or do i do a c100 again, thanks to all replys

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  Checking child’s phone
Posted by: Marky207 - 10-17-2019, 01:48 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies

Sorry just putting another post up for advice. As some are aware, my ex is manipulative and hasn’t been following the court order for my 13 year old daughter. Meant to see daughter every alternative weekend Friday to Sunday and get holidays. Ex has thwarted this and holiday plans were torn apart by ex - unfortunately I had no money to go back to court. My exes game plan is to say she can’t control my daughter and now that she is 13, she can do what she wants and she can’t really do much to “force her to go with her dad” and that I’m making my daughter anxious by trying to enforce a court order and just need to leave my daughter alone.

The real truth is my ex manipulates my daughter and makes her feel guilty for attending contact with me. Daughter loves me so much but just wants an easy life (and I don’t blame her). My daughter has said about how her mum is and she’s absolutely petrified of her mother. I have a lot of text messages on my daughters phone where my ex is making my daughter feel guilty for having spent a night with me and not spending time with her (note on my COURT ORDERED time)and is saying questionable things about me and my current partner (e.g don’t trust dad and your dad is the reason you’re so anxious etc). Have all this in text message evidence. My question is if my daughter is spoken to by the courts, my daughter will back her mother up to the hilt and my ex will say I have invaded my daughter’s privacy by taking copies of these manipulation messages. What are my rights to checking my daughter’s phone in terms of the law? I live in Scotland so not sure if there’s much difference here.

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  Case sisted? (Scotland)
Posted by: Skintdad - 10-16-2019, 08:25 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

After two years of court and 10 CWH, our case has been sisted with out any explanation from the Sheriff. There is an interim interlocutor for weekend and midweek contact. Nothing ordered for xmas or holidays. My solicitor just said that if we cannot reach agreement we will just go back to court, but she hopes it will be unnecessary? My ex never agrees to anything and simply does not negotiate? I have spoken to another Father in this position who wrote to the Sheriff to ask for the reason for the sist. He received a curt reply telling him that reasons do not have to be given. I would be interested to hear anyones thoughts on this, as I am certainly confused?

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  Discrimination or what?
Posted by: Sb1353 - 10-14-2019, 10:32 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

I went to my child school this morning to speak with someone after my 5 years old told me that he is being abused by ex and her family. I had already sent an email to the school and introduced myself when he started school. However, when I arrived at the school and when I said my name over the intercom I was told I wasn't allowed anywhere near school and they will ring the police! I told the chap that I have parental responsibility same as child mother and they cannot treat me differently and I am here to discuss welfare concern about my child. I was asked to leave the premises or the ring the police.

I left and rang the school to speak with Headteacher. I was told he was busy so I left a message. When I said my name the lady on the phone told me that they were told that there is a court order so I cannot be at the school. When I asked if she had seen it she said no. I said to her that there is consent Prohibited Steps Order in place so I cannot remove the child from jurisdiction but it doesn't say anything that I cannot talk to the school. She said head teacher will ring me back which he hasn't.

I feel my PA has been denied and ex lied about everything and school even didn't care about concerns I had about my child. How do I complain about the school and how do I raise this concerns with the school if they don't want to see me. Surely this is illegal ignoring my PA?

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  Revoking Spouse Visa Whilst Divorcing - Need Advice
Posted by: mrmajestic - 10-13-2019, 06:31 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

Hi All, like many have found this forum helpful, therefore wanted to check in to see if anyone out there could help answer the following, thanks in advance.

My wife is on a Spouse Visa, I applied for a divorce based on unreasonable behaviour. She's verbally abusive to me which often is in front of our young children (both below 10).  She hasn't answered/signed the divorce application and I have applied for a Deemed Served and waiting for it to come through, meanwhile her behaviour is getting worse and I am getting a bit desperate (having to put up with it) as we are still living together.

I thought to simply inform the Home Office that our marriage no longer subsists so they revoke her visa however, I am wary of information that a solicitor warned me of about what she could do if I did this.

Apparently, if her visa was revoked (and she most likely would return to the non-European country where she is from), she could apply for a Specific Issue Order to take the children with her...  I thought that she would have to apply for a Relocation Order which I have researched, and believe I could successfully challenge based on the wealth of evidence to support my role as Primary Carer of the children.

The spouse visa is below 5 years old so far so she could not apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain. She isn't wealthy, doesn't have a steady income and we currently rent the property we are living in (I have my own business which has only recently started making money and no financial or other assets).

So do people on here agree that she could take this step (or a lawyer might advise her to do so) if I took the action of having her spouse visa revoked?

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Posted by: Sb1353 - 10-12-2019, 12:36 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - No Replies

Separated with my ex 15 months ago. Still fighting to get custody of my children even though I applied for child arrangement order day after she left still waiting for fact finding hearing. Anyway ex applied for divorced early this year. I haven’t received paperwork ex solicitor threatened to send bailiff around to serve paperwork. Bailiff has been harassing me for about a month now. Today I found out that ex gave contact centre address so bailiff can harass me there. I say the chap waiting outside door. He didn’t recognise me so I left the contact centre.
To be honest I do want to get a divorce but I want to get child arrangement order in place first.
Isn’t this harassment? What can I do about it? I feel intimidated by them even going to see my children

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