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Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
1 hour ago
» Replies: 8
» Views: 299
School Change By Mother
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
1 hour ago
» Replies: 2
» Views: 58
Please help me. Ex being ...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
1 hour ago
» Replies: 99
» Views: 4,811
help pls anyone?
Last Post: yuri1003
2 hours ago
» Replies: 6
» Views: 357
S7 report
Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc
Last Post: Sb1353
8 hours ago
» Replies: 8
» Views: 237
Financial settlement offe...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: proud_dad
9 hours ago
» Replies: 1
» Views: 52
maintenance pending suit
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: SeanS
11 hours ago
» Replies: 4
» Views: 312
Some light reading re mal...
Last Post: asd1270
Yesterday, 02:16 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 52
Help - Residence Order
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
02-17-2019, 09:29 AM
» Replies: 25
» Views: 1,352
50:50 what are the chance...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: yetanotherone
02-16-2019, 10:22 PM
» Replies: 0
» Views: 80

  Financial settlement offered
Posted by: SteveyA - 10 hours ago - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi guys

I received a financial settlement from STBX which was 90% / 10% in her favour, she basically wanted everthing, the house, cash and I take on all the debt she has accrued coming after me for more! 

I have rejected it and gone back with a more reasonable 65 / 35% offer split in her favour as she will be the main carer for our children and I want to do the right thing.  I get a small lump sum from the house, come off the mortgage so I can move on so I would be happy with this.

My hunch is she will reject it as seems intent of destroying my future even though she left me.  This is the minimum I will accept (my lawyer thinks a court would offer me the same if not better) but we are miles apart.  I have given her 14 days to respond, after which is it withdrawn and I will file an application to the court. 

Is this the right move??  The letter went last wednesday. 

Since my letter, the only communication with her is via my 10 year old daughter's mobile phone but I have not been able to get hold of her since drop off last wednesday, straight to voicemail.  It's not like my daughter so I am now worried my ex is controlling my daughters actions, turning off her phone, telling her all sorts etc so she cannot contact me.  I have never gone this long without speaking to my kids and it's really getting to me. 

All I want is a fair settlement so we can all move on and provide secure separate lives for our children but being beaten at every opportunity.  


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  Some light reading re male dv
Posted by: asd1270 - Yesterday, 02:16 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - No Replies

Man '10 days from death' after being starved and abused by controlling girlfriend over six years


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  School Change By Mother
Posted by: johanadrekirchner - Yesterday, 03:26 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

Good Morning

My ex change my boys school without informing me, he used to get the bus to my house, now it’s not possible after the school change. She done this on purpose, but that’s another argument for another day. I ask the school for a copy of the school application, but was informed I am not allowed to see it, apparently they need to get her approval. Is this correct? The school is a catholic school, the confusing thing is that my boy is not religious nor been inside a church or even babtised, nor does he fall in the catchment area. I looked at the school ADMISSION POLICY and PROCEDURE and not one of them apply to my boy hench me want to look at the application. How do I get a copy or is this an impossibility request?

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  50:50 what are the chances?
Posted by: yetanotherone - 02-16-2019, 10:22 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - No Replies


I know this has probably been asked before but I am approaching a final hearing on child arrangements for my son who is aged 4.

I am proposing a 50:50 shared care arrangement, and surprisingly the ex a 5 in 14 routine after repeatedly suggesting less prior to the directions hearing.

He is currently staying with me 5 in 14 as it was imposed on me (I moved out of the family home following financial settlement and decree absolute so she automatically became the resident parent) after the previous hearing, she is now saying that is the most appropriate as it is the "status quo".

Cafcass previously said no section 7 report was required, and there hasnt been any involvement from them at all, no fact finding etc.

Regardless of term time arrangements I will need to contest as there are issues around holidays and "lives with".

My question is what are the actual chances of getting 50:50? Is it actually possible? There's no reason why it isn't feasible such as job commitments, and I always shared care activities while at the FMH.


Sorry just realised I posted in wrong place but can't work out how to move it

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  Pension and cms
Posted by: beehive84 - 02-16-2019, 03:12 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

So I just had an interesting conversation with the cms and I’ve requested a manager contact me.

In short I’m changing job and it’s a 25% change in gross.

In most jobs I’ve worked you don’t qualify for the company pension until your probation is complete, mine being 3 months.
Yet if are supposed to tell the cms within 30 days of changing job then they won’t see from my payslips the pension contribution for at least 4 months. When I explained this they pretty much said tough luck, we won’t recalculate again by 4 months to recognise your pension contributions as it’s under the 25% threshold and it won’t be picked up until my next case review.

I can’t believe for a second that can be correct, that they would continue ignoring my pension contribution until my annual year review.

If that’s truly how they want to work it then what’s stopping me to up my pension contribution to 25% or over of gross temporarily, get them to recalculate and then request my work to reduce afterwards back to say 5%?

I’m trying to be honest about this but why if that’s the on,y way to get them to recognise it then so be it. I believe my pension scheme can allow me to vary my calculations throughout the year.

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  S7 report
Posted by: Sb1353 - 02-15-2019, 02:59 PM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (8)

Just received my s7 report. It is disappointing that they always take women’s side. They believed all false allegations she made and recommended for find fact hearing and also contact should be supervised. They did not disclose ex medical conditions as she has got cancer. My solicitor told me they should disclose her condition and her ability to care for the children.
This only delays the process. I m at court next Wednesday but I guess it will be short one and next hearing would be find fact hearing.

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Photo Received a letter from STBX's solicitor..
Posted by: Chester Copperpot - 02-15-2019, 08:39 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (10)

Brief background:

Separated in November 18, still living in a jointly owned but mortgaged property with our 2 children.
She desperatly wants me to leave.  She has threatened me with false reports of domestic abuse/violence to get me out of my home.  I think she will use ANY tactics to get me forcibly removed.

To the point:

This week has been a car crash!  Its like a months worth of events have taken place in < 7 days!

I received a letter from her solicitor Wednesday (attached).

I did get some legal advice from a solicitor yesterday and the solicitor was very keen to get the responding letter(s) out.   The solicitor was almost aggressive in the way she was speaking about the letter she was going to send to my ex's solicitor.  This may well be normal but I no experience of this kind of thing. 

The question I didn't ask my solicitor was this..     Am I actually legally obligated to respond to this letter?   Can I just ignore it?  What happens if I do?

As I said above, I am still in my home with my children and although the relationship with my ex isn't nice - I kinda prefer living in my house to a 1 bed flat or in a mates spare room!

I am wondering if I just hold tight?

Any advice is very welcome.

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  Family home
Posted by: Sb1353 - 02-14-2019, 03:04 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

I know if yiu have full residency yiu will get to stay in family home till children are 18. My question is if yiu get 50/50 or less could you still stay in family home?

I still live in family home and my ex moved out with kids 6 months ago. It is jointly owned with mortgage which she hasn’t contributed for last 12 months. I have since renovated it and spent a lot of money and made it lovely home for my kids.

W are still married but it may end up in divorce and I need to know where I stand with the house.

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Posted by: Tom_W88 - 02-14-2019, 02:36 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (8)


Please help.

Recently I have been picking up my kids from the house of where i used to live or the house of her mothers.

All of a sudden for this weekend she is wanting me to pick the children up from an address different to the other.

She has said it will all happen after school tomorrow (kids are off school, they finish today)

Where do i stand with this? I am flatly refusing to get the kids off a stranger, and she has recently had a new influx of friends that she has been hanging around with.  I am worried who she is recommended the kids stay at. 

I have asked her for this persons details and she is refusing to give them to me.

Please what can I do?

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  Advice Given by Solicitor
Posted by: Powerkiter - 02-14-2019, 02:04 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)

With regards to the financial settlement, do you sometimes wonder about the advice given to you by your solicitor and whether it is in your best interest?

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