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Problems with Ex wifes ne...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: SimonMT
1 hour ago
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Never planned for this!
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
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Agreeing finances - split...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
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Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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Mediation mistake or not
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: warwickshire1
10 hours ago
» Replies: 10
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  Payments above maintenance.
Posted by: angrybutmeasured - 06-05-2018, 08:56 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)

Hello.
My 5 year litigation has now ended and concluded that I get alternate weekends and holidays. I’d like to take my 2 children away for a holiday. My ex is asking for (more than) the full amount for 2 passports from me. My view is that it should be from the 25% of my wage that I give her every month, this is done through agreement rather than CSA. Does anyone know if this is written officially somewhere?
Typically devious, any on-going discussion will mean that the children don’t get a holiday, so the pressure is for me to pay up.  I can't find anything to say this is her responsibility. Does anyone know anything about this?
 
Thanks.
M.

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  Newbie - Seeking Advice
Posted by: TandBDad - 06-05-2018, 07:42 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

Hi, my name is Pete. I joined the site just yesterday looking for resources, other people’s experiences and hopefully some advice. My situation. Will try and keep concise. I have two boys aged 2 and 5. The boys Mum and I are divorced. We have been separated since Nov 2015. Divorced 2017.

I was in a bullying, controlling, manipulative and abusive relationship with her, but it also extended to her parents. They are used to getting their own way and they don’t expect people to answer them back. I used to always appease them. Post-split, I have always kept things civil and calm. Very rarely is there a crossed word, knowing how manipulative she can be, my behaviour must be impeccable, and I don’t try and give her any ammunition. I’ve learnt to pick my battles, but majority of time agree with her decisions. There is communication back and forth concerning the children. Until she is upset (either something I have or haven’t done) and then life becomes difficult again she shuts the communication down.
Recently and out of the blue, I receive a letter from her solicitor. Making false accusations that I am aggressive, intimidating and that I lurk. Wants me to stay in car when collecting and dropping off. In the same letter it states that she wants to change the arrangements.

I am replying through my solicitor and taking the solicitor’s advice. Have vehemently denied the accusations, but not letting it turn into a mud slinging contest, even though I could prove all she is saying is rubbish. Chronologically this all kicked off when she got removed from a Facebook group for Single Parents we were both a member of. I am also aware from my eldest that one of her cats had died not long after that.

Any advice? I hate paying for solicitors. And feels like I’ve gone back two years. I would expect this not to have started with a solicitor. But to talk, email or text. If no agreement, then mediation, then if no agreement to go to solicitor? I believe the false accusations as well as being a way to get at me, is her way of justifying going straight to solicitors.

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  Important
Posted by: asd1270 - 06-05-2018, 04:02 AM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (3)

I think it important to make aware that I have again received a non accurate and biased report.

It is fair to state that what was stated on the report does not represent what was stated during the visit.

Pls bare in mind this was a second Sec7 to be completed and ordered by the judge and must be undertaken by a more senior officer. Given the last sec7 was poor.

The visit lasted less than 20minutes , 4minutes observing interaction between me and my son and 10minutes chatting to me. The rest chatting non relevant stuff about travel n house extension.

I had recorded the conversation, at its something of a must given the way things have been in my case.

Please be mindful of CAFCASS when they visit.
They have a habit of twisting the truth and information you provide.

I do not like undermining professionals as I am one too in this line of work but this is so unprofessional.

The headache now is to respond to them to correct and make them aware of what was actually reported by me word by word not some made up of assumptions or comments that have been distorted.
So its time and more stress to get the convo transcribed.

The other points that raised my concerns.
My child was spoken to in the mothers places of residency to gather his wishes n feelings. He is 4.
And it is apparent from this that the statements he allegedly made in the session is something a child of his age would Never state without some level leading questions. Mother was present as it was a one bed open plan flat.


Children who are seen alone must be seen not in the environment where the other parent lives . This should have happened at his school.

I will follow this up on here as I'm in court in a weeks time.

As a resident father , this should not be a case to try and reverse the his role. Its simply disgusting.

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  1st hearing
Posted by: Levi_Saint - 06-04-2018, 08:21 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

I've the first hearing tomorrow, nervous as hell and not sure if I'm anywhere near prepared.

What am I to expect? Any advice?

Thank you!

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  Amendment to child arrangement order
Posted by: Dadhl - 06-04-2018, 06:56 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies

Hi ,

I currently have a child arrangement order in place for my son , we have a shared care arrangement in place , I want to apply get 50/50 care, the arrangements currently in place mean that my son spends 2 overnight stay each week and the weekend every other week Friday till Sunday so 40/60 share. I would like for my son to spend a Friday from school till Monday morning and be dropped straight to school after my weekend and change collection times during a midweek handover as he starts school soon and would suit better for him as handovers are not very amicable with the ex.

We are currently waiting to attend court in regard to a specific issues order for his school. What forms would I need to submit to make a change to the child arranmgment order and do I need to attend mediation as court proceedings are currently on going?

Any information would be much appreciated.

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  CSA and Child in care
Posted by: bathtub - 06-04-2018, 03:27 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (4)

Looking for some advice. I co parent my two daughters equally with ex and they stay at mine 50% of the time. My eldest daughter (13) sadly is now in full time residential care at a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit and will be for some time to come. My question is if I still need to pay the full CSA for her. Ex and I both spend a lot of money individually ion her for clothing and art supplied etc but just wondering if anyone has experience of this in terms of adjusting CSA payments to my ex as a result?

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  Not sure about separation
Posted by: BravoFTW - 06-04-2018, 03:16 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (4)

Hi all,

Apologies if this is in the incorrect thread.  I'll try and keep it brief so as not to literally give you my life story...

Time with wife: 11 years
Married: 7 years
Unhappy: 4-5 years
Children: 5yr and 3yr old boys


After an ugly and heated argument last week, I decided to stay with my parents for a few days (not sure how long) whilst I get together how I feel about this marriage.

We don't get on very well
We're frequently arguing in front of the kids
She has a very short temper and no patience
She gets very stressed when dealing with the boys (shouts and swears at them) - I hate this
We agree on very little including parenting styles
I don't want to spend any time with her
Not to be short sighted or shallow but she has gotten pretty fat and I don't find her attractive anymore.
I don't feel in love with her

Me leaving has knocked her for six and she seems genuinely sorry and realises what she has done and how she's been to drive me to this - though I'd like to add that I am aware that I'm no saint and I know I can annoy her since I'm pretty dry and pedantic during an argument.

I am torn between just pulling the plug and moving on with my life, relishing in my parental responsibility to my boys and being happy so that my boys see the best of me and not just arguing all the time

or

giving us another chance, hoping that she recognises that changes are needed - but that still won't guarantee that I'll fall in love with her again.

Has anyone else felt this way? I'd like to hear from you.

All the best.

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  Seeing Children Less - Anxiety
Posted by: GC1974 - 06-04-2018, 02:53 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (7)

Who else suffers from anxiety and fear of being in your own company and how do you cope to overcome this, particularly in the evenings.

I find it hard to think my life has any value at all without my children.

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  Mediation Advive.
Posted by: Trimmer78 - 06-04-2018, 02:24 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (2)

Hi again,
So my divorce has been approved by the ex and has now gone away to the courts so one step closer i suppose. 
This Friday i have mediation with the ex, to come to a financial agreement i was just wondering if anyone has some tips / advice on what to say and how to put my situation across the best way etc?
thanks for your time all
mike

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  ex strife
Posted by: mrbungle - 06-04-2018, 06:38 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (3)

hi all

so ive popped the question to my new partner and she's said yes

this news has got back to the Ex via my kids which to be honest i expected...the problem is the Ex has told the kids if i get married in a church she's going to appear

this has sent my new partners head into a spin...what can i do to stop this lunatic appearing?

do i need to contact the police etc as it would potentially cause a breach of the peace?

cheers

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