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Dying inside
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: Rob74
11 minutes ago
» Replies: 12
» Views: 255
Finally got the courage t...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: Rob74
28 minutes ago
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» Views: 225
Advice on possible court ...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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dad
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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1 hour ago
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What to do now? Contact d...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: MarkR
2 hours ago
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» Views: 50
Ex partner concerns
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: asd1270
4 hours ago
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Holiday - Should I compro...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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6 hours ago
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Advice for what to includ...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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7 hours ago
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In court tomorrow!
Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc
Last Post: Scott101
8 hours ago
» Replies: 11
» Views: 396
1st hearing
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Scott101
8 hours ago
» Replies: 3
» Views: 78

 
  Finally My appeal hearing date next Wed
Posted by: asd1270 - 01-06-2018, 09:23 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (13)

Finally  My application to Appeal hearing is on  Wed , after that totally bulls up at the last contested hearing and the  final Court order in Oct, written by some mickymouse muppet which I never saw or heard in that hearing or even agreed too.

So im hoping that the money spent to get to this point has a positive outcome. I know that the Barrister has a good  rep   as he is well know in the circuit of family law. Lets see if the books, and radio shows that he does lives up to expectations.

Hopefully the transcript and witness statements and historical events mostly after the court order convinces the Judge to put the current order aside and mark it down for a retrial.

I have been so child focused throughout the whole mess from November last year .Its my role as a profession yet the system does not support or listen to Male victims of Domestic abuse.

I found that  my professional views working in the field of Safeguarding does not apply if you are parent with the same views. How contradictory it all is.

I mean a parent raising concerns of physical ,emotional assault and nothing happens  vrs  a professional raising the same concerns and hell breaks out.

or a parent raising  fact based evidence  Vrs a professional completing a report based on hearsay. 


I have really lost faith in my profession as no matter how much you can scream in relation to safeguarding you child from harm both physical and emotional the system is not concerned. 

I recently contacted Courts and  SServices again with ongoing concerns of neglect and emotional abuse towards my son since the last order.
the response I got was there was nothing they can do and I will have to wait to for the appeal hearing?
If had my work boots on Im sure things would be dealt with differently.

I am fortunate to put some level of protection in place for my son but what it does not stop is the emotional impact it is having on my son. The impact will be long term as the system fail to recognise or even understand the Welfare of the child and they are the ones that are meant to being following the welfare check list.

So Hopefully a father whos been a victim and  who has been a primary carer and resident parent has the same procedures followed to safeguard the children in their care. 

You dont simply ignore what is procedures because I am a father. I see many mothers (many falsely claiming DV) and getting the system supporting them 100 percent. Simply Shocking.

What Ive learned through this whole process so far is.
I cannot work anymore  at the level of professional work I had previously done, which is like for the last 20 years. Its because I seen first hand how biased  the who network is.

Fact based evidences means nothing NOTHING!!, In my previous post I mentioned if a father attended court with a axe in his head inflicted by the wife it is OK??, or that lying is ok, abusing a child is ok, Abduction is ok, common assault is ok?

I really hope that I get this order put aside, its a mess, a REAL MESS ie 2+2 = 17. overnights etc

Wish me luck guys as I will be sticking to my original position which I think is fair considering all the shit that has happened.

Every other weekend contact for the mother plus 2 tea time contacts on the 2nd week. Its near to what the standard contact arrangements are for separated parents. Well this is what is usually awarded to no resident parents.

Parenting programme to be completed and mother to secure her own accommodation  before any over night is considered
Dv awareness programme.
Family assisted order 12 month 
restriction on Oversea travel.
supported contact till mother has successfully completed a parenting programme.

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  gomfexwoz?
Posted by: asd1270 - 01-06-2018, 07:58 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (2)

Hopefully this joker can be removed.


Finally  My application to Appeal hearing is on  Wed , after that totally bulls up at the last contested hearing and the  final Court order in Oct, written by some mickymouse muppet which I never saw or heard in that hearing or even agreed too.

So im hoping that the money spent to get to this point has a positive outcome. I know that the Barrister has a good  rep   as he is well know in the circuit of family law. Lets see if the books, and radio shows that he does lives up to expectations.

Hopefully the transcript and witness statements and historical events mostly after the court order convinces the Judge to put the current order aside and mark it down for a retrial.

I have been so child focused throughout the whole mess from November last year .Its my role as a profession yet the system does not support or listen to Male victims of Domestic abuse.

I found that  my professional views working in the field of Safeguarding does not apply if you are parent with the same views. How contradictory it all is.

I mean a parent raising concerns of physical ,emotional assault and nothing happens  vrs  a professional raising the same concerns and hell breaks out.

or a parent raising  fact based evidence  Vrs a professional completing a report based on hearsay. 


I have really lost faith in my profession as no matter how much you can scream in relation to safeguarding you child from harm both physical and emotional the system is not concerned. 

I recently contacted Courts and  SServices again with ongoing concerns of neglect and emotional abuse towards my son since the last order.
the response I got was there was nothing they can do and I will have to wait to for the appeal hearing?
If had my work boots on Im sure things would be dealt with differently.

I am fortunate to put some level of protection in place for my son but what it does not stop is the emotional impact it is having on my son. The impact will be long term as the system fail to recognise or even understand the Welfare of the child and they are the ones that are meant to being following the welfare check list.

So Hopefully a father whos been a victim and  who has been a primary carer and resident parent has the same procedures followed to safeguard the children in their care. 

You dont simply ignore what is procedures because I am a father. I see many mothers (many falsely claiming DV) and getting the system supporting them 100 percent. Simply Shocking.

What Ive learned through this whole process so far is.
I cannot work anymore  at the level of professional work I had previously done, which is like for the last 20 years. Its because I seen first hand how biased  the who network is.

Fact based evidences means nothing NOTHING!!, In my previous post I mentioned if a father attended court with a axe in his head inflicted by the wife it is OK??, or that lying is ok, abusing a child is ok, Abduction is ok, common assault is ok?

I really hope that I get this order put aside, its a mess, a REAL MESS ie 2+2 = 17. overnights etc

Wish me luck guys as I will be sticking to my original position which I think is fair considering all the shit that has happened.

Every other weekend contact for the mother plus 2 tea time contacts on the 2nd week. Its near to what the standard contact arrangements are for separated parents. Well this is what is usually awarded to no resident parents.

Parenting programme to be completed and mother to secure her own accommodation  before any over night is considered
Dv awareness programme.
Family assisted order 12 month 
restriction on Oversea travel.
supported contact till mother has successfully completed a parenting programme.

Print this item

  who can you show a Section 7 report to?
Posted by: herewegoagain - 01-05-2018, 06:19 PM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (13)

Can you discuss this in confidence with anybody for the sole purpose of seeking advice?

Would it be acceptable to share it with a retired solicitor who had requalified as a mediator albeit in a different field?

Does anyone know where to find the definitive answer to this on the web?

Thanks

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  Property Situation - Can I sell or Rent it
Posted by: PTA - 01-05-2018, 02:29 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

Hi
 
New to the this forum and have for the last 3 years been battling against the system and I'm just about to give up.
 
I separated 3 years ago and moved out of the family home which was bought and paid for, we never married and have 2 children now 17 and 11.  I left the house and didn't try and sell it as it was the girls home.
 
I bought myself another house and over the the last 3 years my ex-partner has driven out my eldest daughter and as of yesterday moved to Kent with my youngest without so much as telling me or my eldest !!
 
Anyway that's another battle....... I now have a property which is effectively empty, I know I can go back in at any time and change the locks, but doing so I may end up having to pay bills such as council tax, gas, elec etc for a place I don't want to live in.
 
My question is can I now force a sale ? I know for a fact she won't talk about things and I'll probably have to go through the courts and hope for a now 50/50 split ?
 
In the meantime, could I rent it out, if so is she entitled to half the rent.
 
Just some general advice please as my experience over the last 3 years has proved to me that solicitors take your money and don't give you a straight answer and the court system is so prejudice against the farther.


Thanks

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  Advice on behalf of my partner
Posted by: hgs2808 - 01-05-2018, 02:09 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (3)

Hi all!

I'm posting this on behalf of my partner as i think he's given up hope.

He split with his ex and mother of his 3 children in 2015. They had a rough relationship with him being arrested for violence (they fought each other!) he had an order in place that meant he couldn't be in the house overnight and this was kept to, as was the 'building better relationships course'. Following on from this they stayed together for another 18-24 months. Some people may think I'm silly for being someone with a history as I have two children but we have lived together for a year now and he is far from the man he was then!

Anyway, when they first split and when we first got together (May 2016) he was seeing them twice in a week then every other weekend overnight and there were no issues. We even had them over Christmas etc etc. He paid towards them through their own arrangement, which has now been done through child maintenance (she thought she would get more) and paid every month without fail. Roughly this time last year she had a drunken argument with her now partner and he threw a chair towards her friend and the police were involved (youngest child upstairs!). She actually rang my partner for help in the middle of the night but then denied all the following days. my partner rang the police to follow up what happened and they couldn't obviously disclose but said if the children were a concern then to ring social services, so he did. This apparently started a case with a social worker visiting his ex and children and her new partner. This is when all contact was stopped. He has tried a few times to arrange something but she always came up with an excuse. She somehow found out where we lived and ended up driving past as we walked to our car- we don't live in a place you just end up driving past!

I'm looking for advice on what we do now? I understand they shouldn't have to go to mediation as there has been DV in the past. But unsure what steps he has to take first?

Hope someone can help!
Thanks

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  Just got home from court again
Posted by: Charlielovesyou - 01-05-2018, 12:50 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (15)

Well i have just got back from the 3rd hearing to which she actually decided to turn up this time to my surprise. But straight away she started claiming i was violent and couldnt be near me or let me see her so they put her in her own room and then put a screen in the court. All this has already been found to be unsupported in any way or substantiated by social services, cafcass and the police, yet she still keeps flogging that dead horse. She then claimed she has never seen or received the cafcass report either. So i had to wait for her to read it. 

She then continued with it in the court telling them i never turn up and i need to sort my anger issues out, the magistrate told her that all that has already been looked into and unproven, there are no safeguarding issues so how are we going to get contact?

She never turned upto the last hearing or made a statement when asked. Her excuse was she never got the paperwork so never knew about it. She said her address was completely wrong and shes told them 3-4 times. I thought oh hold on shes moved house but no she then spouted off the exact same address! I know they must have been thinking the same as me, i couldnt help but smile as the magistrate looked at me behind the screen. She was sitting there telling all her lies thinking shes clever when she is just giving them the perfect picture of what she is like. She claims she never knew about the last court date or statements that needed to be doing but she had her interview with cafcass twice so they know she knew damn well when it was. The thing is she was saying she wasnt getting the orders etc but she was sitting there in front of them with the latest court order in her hand which tells her she need to submit a statement. I didnt realise she was that thick! If you didnt get the order how did you get here and how did you know about it? It was like a free comedy show. 

So then we managed to get an agreement out of her that i would be able to see my daughter in a contact centre, supported every saturday 11am-1pm. But she still kept pushing that only if i sort my anger problems out. She said she will agree to the contact centre but will not be leaving! The magistrate just said, well anyway as i said thats already been seen to and there are no safeguarding issues, the way it works is you go and drop her off and leave. They then kept me for 5 minutes while she left the building. I dont want to see the ugly mug anyway so suited me fine. 

So lets see how this goes then. Im pretty certain she either wont turn up, will turn up and play her face about handing her over or will do it once and then claim she is too upset to go. We have also been asked to submit statements about how it goes so they have just given her a big green light to make up a load of more crap about my daughter being distressed and upset blah blah blah. Back in court on the 21st March, the joys.

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  child protection plan and going abroad
Posted by: bimma - 01-05-2018, 11:59 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

hi

apologies if this is the wrong section

ive posted on here before about my almost 4 year old son having various injuries in his mums cars
most recent being a second burn with an iron

anyway as a result of this injury a section 47 enquiry took place, and it was deemed that my son was to be put on a child protection plan (although the reason was risk of emotional harm due to animosity between parents)

now he is part of a child protection plan and there is a 3month review to take place soon
she is planning on going abroad in feb for 3 weeks
(my child arrangements order states she can go for upto 24 days providing i miss 1 weekend of contact and she makes the time up upon return)
the court order was drawn up before the child protection plan

I wanted to know what are the legal implications re her taking him abroad whilst he is on a chhild protection plan
or is it the decision of childrens services ..who are already proven to be useless ?

thanks

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  Out of Town
Posted by: MarkR - 01-05-2018, 12:40 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - No Replies

Hi all,

I will be away from tomorrow lunchtime, and not back till late Saturday or early Sunday.

If I have commented on your thread and there has been other posts, I will read them Sunday on my return.

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  Evening (Newbie Here)
Posted by: Tom_W88 - 01-04-2018, 11:18 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (4)

Hi Everyone,

Newbie here so thought id post.

Moved out of my marital home as there was no trust between us (i believe she was the one cheating on my on a girls holiday months before. but shes blaiming its her mates)

SO i moved out of the home after a few months of agreeing on a split (i didnt want to) and moved out during August bank holiday weekend in 2017)it, i broke my foot couple days after moving out so been mainly in the house, but made sure i have kept up seeing the kids and paying whats needed.

Ive begged for her back but she doesnt want me to.  We have two kids together and for the last 6 years weve been married for over  of them i have been caring for 2 child she had from another relationship.  

Ive had a rough xmas where i have considered suicide as i cant cope.

However today, via a Facebook post from Preston police over a missing person.  i have found the woman im still married to (but separated from) has been sleeping with a bloke in my marital home.

He was picked up outside my old home today, admitted he has spent most of xmas at my house over a week (my kids were there when ive not had them, and hiss own wife and family have listed him as a missing person from Dec 29th.)

Now im not angry with him, hes ruined his own relationship, but now it seemingly a no no me and my ex getting back together I would love to find out more what i can do now.

She's admitted she has introduced him to my kids after a few weeks (although wouldnt surprise me if its been longer) she feels she has done nothing wrong in all of this.

The father to my step children is also now furious, as he has found out also.  

What can i do? I feel very low and cant think of moving on, but I realise there's no point in being silly as the kids will lose their dad.

So fellas, she has been up to the following :-

  • She has a history of hitting myself and others (I have a dvd clip of her punching a police officer)
  • She is a regular drinker and hasn't told the government she is working part time in a pub, she is drinking usually from mid morning onwards
  • i also recorded on my phone her racking up cocaine for her 15 year old sister to sniff
  • She is blatantly being a benefit cheat, since i have moved out there has been letters about money owed.
  • The child maintenance i have been paying i dont feel my children are getting the benefit from.

So the question's i ask are lads

  1.  With child maintenance, can i stop paying it to her, and put it into savings accounts for the kids?
  2. What are my best options for divorce/full custody of the kids? If there is any? Can i use the drugs/drink and assaults to aide my case into getting the best news for me and my kids?
  3. With my step kids, due to marrying their mum i am down as a parent/guardian, she doesnt let me have them, is there anyone i can force her to allow me to spend time with them? 
Any other help be greatly appreciated, i feel I have been played for a mug, not even thought of a relationship with another female and im being made out to to be the one in the wrong.

Hope you can help

Tom

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  Would/Could you ever get back with your ex?
Posted by: MrBiz - 01-04-2018, 07:28 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (13)

So as the title says, could you get back with an ex after everything you have been through?

Even though I have met someone else she is just there as it were, just someone to 'fill the void' harsh I know but it is what it is....

I often think and get asked would I ever get back with my ex, sometimes I think to myself yeah I would not just for the little one but because I still have feelings for her even though it has been over a year now since we split. I try to justify it in a way that I think she might have postnatal so might not be acting rationally and isn't herself or that her mother is controlling the situation in the background but yeah I think that after the court ordered SPIP and then meditation I hope that she might see sense in to what she is doing and how she is acting but then I think to myself how can I be such a mug after everything she has done..... the lies in court, the harassment via solicitors, the breach of child arrangement order, challenging the CSA to get more money........ Ok so if she saw sense and realised it was a mistake and really did want to start over again slowly with a view to moving back in the future could I ever trust her not to up and leave whilst I was out clearing the flat out of everything to do with her and the little one again as that would always be in the back of my mind, or if we have an argument the whole situation that we are in right now would all come blurting out like resentment or something.

It's a shitty situation we are all in and some of us are having it way more worse then others but seriously what would you guys do given the choice?

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