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variation to order
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  Do they all claim domestic violence at somepoint?
Posted by: Chester Copperpot - 10-03-2018, 03:32 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (14)

I have read lots of posts on here and it seems that when the woman wants the man out of the house its as simple as calling the police, claiming DV and getting him removed.

What constitutes domestic violence?    Am I able to do this to her?    She almost smacked me in the face the other day in front of our kids!!

if we are arguing - She will call me the C word and I'll do the same - I also told her that I think she is bananas (as I really do think she is depressed and needs help).

Could all these things be used against me as a case of DV?

She has also recently brought up the time "I pushed her" (were we arguing and she lunged at me and I pushed her)  this was months ago - could this be used by her willy nilly?

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  Can I not turn up
Posted by: ukchris2013 - 10-03-2018, 03:24 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (6)

If I am willing to accept a non molestation order can I just accept it it writing and not show

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  advice - as dad I have been primary carer.
Posted by: marklong1981 - 10-03-2018, 01:44 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - No Replies

My wife and I separated a month ago. We have 2 children, a boy 7 and a girl 3. We are married and share parental responsibility. For the whole of the time we have had the children, so 7 years, I have been the primary carer of the children. My wife has a fairly well paid job and i run my own business, from home, around the minimum wage. We always said I was better placed at home as my wife could earn more and I much preferred to be at home with the kids anyway.

There has been no animosity with the split so far. She decided she just was not happy and wanted to leave, so she has left and got herself a one bed flat a mile down the road, leaving me in the family home (joint mortgaged) with the children. She sees the children on average 3 times a week when they go and stay with her.

Issues are arising however as she works shifts. these shifts are over a 5 week work pattern and are all over the place. Up until this point I have co-operated for the children's sake and as I am usually able to, because, as I said I work from home. However, going forward, I want something consistent sorted. She has told me she's had advice saying that If we can't agree and end up in court over the child arrangements then I would be forced to work around her work pattern. Could this be true? How could I make a clean break if I have to arrange my life around he ever evolving shirt pattern? I think she thinks this as I'm at home? But I'm not at home sat round doing nothing, I'm working 9.30 until 2.30 Monday until Friday.

Another worry is can she demand to come back to the house and forced me out? 

Any advice about anything I've put would be greatly appreciated


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  wife has taken kids - when will father see kids?
Posted by: apple3d - 10-03-2018, 01:16 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies

My friend’s wife has taken his 4 young kids. We applied and obtained a Prohibited Steps Order preventing her from taking the kids out of the country on urgent basis so she could not take the kids abroad (the kids were born in uk but have foreign passports aswell). She may have taken the kids to her Mums which is few hours away. We also applied for the child arrangement order within the urgent application (c100 that the kids come home). She is not answering any calls therefore my friend is very upset. He has not seen the kids for over a week now.  Two go to local school but clearly aren't going there anymore. He has contact police, social services and they seem to pass the buck to each other. Social Services and the kids school say the kids are safe etc and you need to contact a solicitor. Which is of no help. What if he cannot afford a Solicitor. 
The court has directed another hearing after 2 weeks, will the child arrangement be sorted in that hearing? When and how long will he have to wait to see the kids even at a neutral location?
He has already paid nearly £1000.00 to solicitor for advise only, not to represent him and including the court fee £215.00. Solicitors will take him for a ride as he is very emotional. Can anyone recommend any Solicitors or know of any good people who can assist
Also my friend works but does not make much- would he qualify for legal aid? He works and owns his house but does not make much at all. He isn’t going to work at the moment
Main issue he has is when will he be able to see and speak to his kids.  This process seems could take many weeks.
Thank you for any help.

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  Appeal Hearing for Finances
Posted by: closebut.... - 10-03-2018, 12:38 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi, this is my first post and I hope you van help

After spending thousands on legal fees I am now going it alone. I had a final hearing in March which didnt go my way, I requested permission to appeal which was rejected by two judges and then following an oral hearing I got permission to appeal. My question is around the process for appeals, new significant evidence has come to light which I believe has a significant impact upon the case but I'm told it can't be introduced, does anyone have a view on that?
Also, I understand that if I lose the case I could be liable for costs. Does anyone have any idea how much a three hour appeal hearing will cost? Its likely my ex will use a Barrister

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  Looking for positive stories.
Posted by: ninjacat - 10-03-2018, 12:30 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (1)

I am posting this for my best friend.

His 'fled' the family home and put in an emergency contact order c100 with DV allegations to push it through. In my opinion the DV allegations are weak. Very weak. He doesnt have an agressive bone in his body.

He did well with Cafcass we hope. We are achingly waiting for the report. He has the first court hearing soon. She agreed to a few hours of contact per week in a public place. He has been such a huge part of his child's life still getting up at night to do feeds for his almost 18 month old.

I am hoping he gets more contact at this next hearing but worried that it won't happen. What are your thoughts? I assume it will go to fact finding. She's a complete selfish control freak and will do anything to punish him.

He wants 50/50 but thinks the chances are small.

All advice and support would be greatly appreciated

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  It's always very amicable at some point.
Posted by: Jim - 10-03-2018, 10:37 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (16)

Hi guys. The thread title is a quote from a post yesterday by Watsa64. It really caught my eye because it's happening to me right now. It's all very amicable. You wouldn't think there's a divorce going on. My wife says she wants us to be friends. I don't know what's going on. Nor do I trust it. In fact I am more angry than I have been for a long time. Maybe since the start. Part of me believes in it. Wants to believe in it. Another part feels I'm being taken for a mug. Does anybody else have experience of this 'amicable' thing?

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  Update - Court Today
Posted by: Nannykit - 10-03-2018, 10:01 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (15)

Hi Everyone

My son attended court today (DRA hearing).   They have scheduled another hearing for 3 months time.

I would like to ask a question about indirect contact.  Whilst in court my son advised that he has been sending card and gifts for since October 2017, and in the Section 7 report it recommended "Indirect Contact".  However both the CAFCASS officer and his EX both have said that my grandson has been receiving the gifts and cards, however he is not told who they are from?  The CAFCASS officer said in court, that it is not in the best interest of the child to know who the gifts and cards are from, as my son has never admitted to be aggressive and she feels that it will confuse the child if he is told who the cards are from and then in the long term he never gets to have contact with his father, unless he admits to his past allegations.  I thought the WHOLE point on indirect contact was to have a form of CONTACT and in the future move forward to actual face to face contact.

My son in court today again told the Judge that he is more than willing to accept the allegations and move forward, to attend the CAFCASS courses.  He is willing to do anything to regain contact and see his son again.

I am so furious, that this CAFCASS women kept repeating that if my son doesnt change, he wont see his son, so why start building something thats not going to happen.... (not exact words but thats what she was putting across).

the judge also asked "is the property safe for the child" as in the report it says he burnt his finger on my woodburner (which he did).. The CAFCASS officer said she found the property to be safe...  when she never looked around my house when she visited, stating she doesnt need to see my home as not a house visit, so she lied to the judge completely.

So guys...  await the next report and see what CAFCASS suggest next.  But this women really did speak up for his EX, my son said she should have been her solictor as she was really on the side of his EX and definately not on the side of his SON or MINE>

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  Cafcass report
Posted by: ninjacat - 10-03-2018, 06:43 AM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (6)

Does the Cafcass report after phone interviews get emailed or posted?

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  How to handle an unresponsive mother?
Posted by: batman - 10-02-2018, 05:19 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

I separated from my wife 18 months ago. She moved to her parents, with our 2 young boys, which is 250 miles away. I was depressed when I asked them to leave and on medication. Since coming off medication about a year ago I've deeply regretted asking them to leave and desperately miss my kids (and wife). 
For the past few months I have been able to visit and have the kids monthly for a weekend, although my wife doesn't make arranging this easy, we get there in the end. She often avoids talking to me and ignores messages for days or weeks. She won't even tell me for sure that she wants a divorce or give me any idea how she wants things to be. I've said we should sort things out as I would have to give her money for her own house, etc.

However, she still refuses to communicate about it, mainly due to anxiety I think, and a couple of times she has said 'why don't we just let solicitors sort it out?'. I've tried to tell her that she would still have to discuss what she wants but it would involve other people and cost a fortune. I said we should at least make a list of things we can and can't agree on with regard to finances and particularly child access. But still she refuses to communicate.
I really don't want to rack up thousands in legal fees, so how can I possibly get her to engage in discussions to at least work out where our differences are? Is there anything anybody can suggest to convince her to talk? I'm very calm and easy to talk to. Its terribly frustrating being stuck in limbo like this. What are my options?
I've seen some guys talking about representing themselves. Although I have the money to pay a solicitor, I'd rather not spend a minimum £4k rising to £9k+ that I've been quoted. Is it possible for me to start any kind of process myself and compel my wife to answer/engage in moving forward?

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