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  Immunisations - this is going to be messy
Posted by: Naive - 11-19-2019, 07:55 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

Has anyone asked the court for an order to allow the doctor to give immunisations ie flu jab, mmr.
Doctor completely agrees and has put it in writing.

Just wondering about the legal complexity of it, and likelihood they’ll make such an order, given the advice of the health professional.

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  Need advice
Posted by: Cheese_head_1986 - 11-17-2019, 09:50 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies

Hi guys.

Things had been quiet for me, contact was finally moved to outside of a contact centre but with handovers being held there.

Everything was going brilliantly, the handover reports show my daughter is happy seeing me and is returned happy and excited.

Then a month ago it stopped. My daughter (3) suddenly doesn't want to see me, she won't even come inside the centre (we've been going there 3 years) when the centre staff managed to coax her into a room, she saw me, stopped playing and laughing and instantly asked for her mum and then started biting her fingers until they bled, (she regularly has plasters on her fingers now) she put as much distance as she could between me and her. When the centre staff asked her to "see her daddy" she said she has a "normal daddy at home, not centre man" (she sometimes called me "centre daddy" but now it's changed)

The centre are as worried and baffled as I am because it's been such a massive change in behaviour.

Literally in a week she went from not wanting to leave my place to running away from me and refusing to see me.

I don't know what to do.

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  Supervised sessions
Posted by: BirminghamUK - 11-16-2019, 05:10 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (17)

After a 9 month long child arrangement case at the family court where the order was issued in September 2019, i finally got to see my daughter in the first week of November 2019. I've had 3 weekly supervised sessions so far.
1st. Only held her for a few seconds as she was crying for her mom.

2nd. Had her for about 15 minutes, she cried the whole time, centre staff said they're only allowed to let children cry for 15 minutes.

3rd. 'Today', didnt even get to see her, she cries whenever mom leaves the room. So centre staff let them go. Mom says child distressed and been to GP after the last session etc. Excuse to influence contact supervisor maybe? Mother refusing to be in the same room as me to assist, usual oppression tactic.

I'm stuck at supervised stage. Which means il be attending every week paying the centre fees but no signs of any potential progress.

Any advice?

I think I need to go back to court and somehow get cafcass involved again.
Due to financial constraints I represented myself in court and got the final order. I thought it was final but by the looks of it I dont think it is final especially if I have to go back and ask court to put something else in the order to assist my kid to develop relationship. I.e. someone familiar being in the room with me.

At the moment I have
- weekly whatsapp.. 30 minutes a specific time specified by the mother. My kid is sleeping during that time and I only get to watch her sleep.

- 8 weekly supervised sessions in the order, then progressing onto supported and eventually into community and overnights. It does not look like it's going to work to that plan..

I'm going to call cafcass on Monday but its likely they wont assist without an active court case and instruction from the court.

Any advice please. Which form needs filling in? Do I need a solicitor? Any angles or approaches I can take to help me? This rough ride is even longer than I anticipated.

Any help appreciated please. I would be very grateful.


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  CMS Variations
Posted by: BirminghamUK - 11-16-2019, 03:26 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)

Hi, Can anyone advise please

i am a non resident dad, paying CMS monthly for my kid. We seperated 18 months ago and i only started seeing my daughter last week. I travel from Birmingham to London.

I want to put in a variation for contact costs

i was thinking of putting in my travel costs, contact centre costs £80 reg and £50 per hour (for room and supervisor) and costs for food and gifts i buy for my kid.

the contact centre plan changes monthly or every two months (i.e. hours of contact go up, which means my costs go up), does that mean ive got to fill out one of these forms whenever theres is a change?

does anyone know how the CMS process the variation application, do they expect me to send receipts, i mean they dont ask the resident parent to break down expenditure for the amount i pay month, what is the liklehood they say, produce receipts for petrol, train tickets etc. i mean what if in the foreseeable future i want to drive instead of taking the train?

Thanks in advance for any advice suggestions.

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  Looking after child when a parent is away
Posted by: Alibash - 11-13-2019, 06:06 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (10)

My ex is going away for a while and I agreed to look after my daughter when she's away.

I told my ex that I don't agree with someone else looking after my daughter when she's away as I'm available. She agreed she wouldn't ask anyone else. However I strongly believe she lied and intends that her friend will look after my daughter for 5 days before she is to be with me as I think she's leaving 5 days before she told me.

As dissuasion, I intend to tell my ex that I struggle to believe her on the dates she's going away and will inform school that my daughter is NOT to be collected by anyone else other than my ex as if she's not, it means her mother is away and therefore my child is in my care.

Not sure how to deal with this/how reasonable it would be to ask the school. If my ex isn't away it makes me look like a paranoid parent.

But if I don't, I'll most likely lose 5 days with my daughter who will be told to lie to me and say she was with her mother. It has already happened but lies end up leaking...

What would you suggest with school?

On a maybe lighter note, I could tell her I'll contact the after school club lady only, instead of school?

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  advise as daughter is with me
Posted by: tdci - 11-13-2019, 03:30 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)

without to much details daughter is with me has been two yrs by order of the court ive never asked or recieved a penny from her mother
would you be ringing cms  ( think i know answers already) whats your general opinion she has supervised contact at a relatives house twice a week never overnight total around 9 hrs a week ,ive provided everything she has needed ,uniforms ,clothes etc

opinions please

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Posted by: Charlie7000 - 11-05-2019, 11:12 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

For various reasons I have just deleted my last thread, but those who know the situation will be updated :-)  Am in the middle of difficult hearing.  Feel free to PM me also.

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  ongoing ....
Posted by: MikesWife - 11-04-2019, 07:15 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (14)

Morning all,

Have finally had a response via EW's solicitor that she is declining mediation to sort out childcare arrangements but to avoid court would like to sort out via letters between solicitors  Exclamation

Interestingly (and rather shockingly - I've had little sleep this weekend worrying) I did take a call from sons' secondary school counsellor on friday afternoon saying son had bought up some things that she needs to look into further, was checking with her manager and would call me back as may require SS to be involved.   She wouldn't go into any details but said she will call me back today (Monday).  Honestly, I nearly actually cried at my desk and had to go and sit in a meeting room alone for 10 minutes, did no work for the rest of the afternoon either Sad 

I also have a phonecall booked with my solicitor at 10am so will obviously mention this update too, have sent across an email with some responses to the letter but also with the new information.  I have asked if my solicitor should talk direct to the counsellor to discuss whether I need to be making an emergency application for the children to live with me fully time until SS are happy this morning.  I have made it very clear that I am able to sort out school runs etc at very short notice (ie from today) if my children are not safe! 

EW letter offers 5/14 contact EOW instead of the current 3/14 - I've told my sol that I am still asking for no less than 50/50 unless of course she would like to consider she has the 5/14 contact EOW.   She also thinks the children want more contact by way of school holidays!  I think the childrens wishes need to be heard as they are very clear they want a fairer share of time with both parents, but this should be also school time not just holiday time (I'm pretty sure EW just wants me to be her free childcare during holidays).  I am of mind the EW wants to avoid court for some reason, not just cost but also because Cafcass will surely have more involvement this time round ...

What do you reckon, application into court now but also try o sort out details via sols until we get to that date ?

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  Training Day on Monday?
Posted by: andynumpty - 11-01-2019, 04:32 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)


Just a quick one. It's my weekend with my boy and he has a training Day on Monday.

Usually I would drop him at school and his mum would collect after.

Now, nothing on the recent CAO covers training days.

Am I within my rights to have my son until his mum would usually collect from school?


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  Witness Staement
Posted by: greggs80 - 10-31-2019, 09:24 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (2)

Hi superdads!

I have sent my ex my witness statement (as ordered by the court). However, she has not sent me anything, so far she is two days late. 

Is there anything I can do about it or should I just leave it be?

I am unsure if she has sent it to Cafcass and the court (she is on holiday at the moment. She possibly could have sent it before she went away but I am unsure), should I flag this up?


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