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accused of violence
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Ultimatums
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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Ex wants to review spouse...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: MarkR
Today, 08:50 AM
» Replies: 5
» Views: 140

 
  CMS Over Riding a Family Based Arrangement
Posted by: Rossdav37 - 09-30-2018, 07:22 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi, hoping someone can assist. 

My ex and I split up some eleven years ago and came to a mutual arrangement in relation to her receiving a higher proportion of the proceeds from our the sale of our family home (some £30k more) to ensure that our daughter had a nicer house in a better area than she would have had had we split the proceeds 50-50. In addition to this I also paid a reduced amount of monthly interest. 

This arrangement has gone on without a hitch until about three weeks ago when we had a falling out over my access to my daughter. My ex has now gone to the the CMS and lodged a claim with them which they have taken on doubling my monthly maintenance.

Firstly can they do this without first checking with me that there wasn't a pre-existing Family Based Arrangement and secondly can this be taken into account in their calculations.

There has been no dispute raised by her in respect of the maintenance paid and she hasn't asked for an increase.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks

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  cannot see my kids as not allowed to contact mum
Posted by: mucha79 - 09-30-2018, 07:06 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (3)

Hi there,

I am at my wits end so please help. 
To cut long story short I am in the middle of separation which became very nasty due to my still wife having applied for non molestation order. I accepted it as did not want that to go any longer. I had full access to the kids then. the nastiness of it thawed a little bit and put my guard down and breached that bloody order - nothing nasty !!! My solicitor called it technical breach but she called the cops anyway. Now I cannot contact her at all directly or indirectly till trial date which is in 2 months time except via social service to arrange children contact. Social services have been dragging their heals to do anything. Now social services said that because there was a breach of nmo whey would have to investigate what have been going on in our household at all so now they wont help me until the matter will have been fully investigated. She keeps saying to everyone that she would not dare to keep me away from the kids but every new restriction regarding her I would have less opportunity to see my kids. I cannot afford another solicitor -could you please advise what would be the best course of action to get even a temporary access to my kids in my situation? 

Ps. English is my second language so please make some allowances if anything proves to be of non senseSmile
Kind regards

Michal

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  How bad could this get?
Posted by: SherryDan - 09-30-2018, 06:37 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (9)

This weekend has been a nightmare. Still share the family home with the soon to be ex. 

She was shouting, furious and raging at me, that I'm not moving fast enough, that I've not found somewhere to move to. She wanted me fking gone. I pretty sure its because theres a new bloke on the scene.

What power does she actually have? The house in our joint names, the divorce filing process has only just begun. We both have money in our own accounts.

What could do actually do to me? Could she kick me out of my own house? Any insight into how strong or weak my position is?


Sherry

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  Mediation Nightmare
Posted by: upthecreek74 - 09-30-2018, 04:26 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (3)

Hi

I attended first and last mediation session this week and it didn’t go too well.

For background been split up coming on 4 years. Divorce went through November last year. I did have access once a week from Friday through to Saturday. This stopped in January this year when ex found out I had a new partner. She said the reason for stopping contact was because my daughter doesn’t want to stay over at mine anymore. This is despite my daughter saying she wanted to stay over. I believe she is being brainwashed against me. I have not see the children at all since May.

Unbeknownst to me my family (mother and sister) have been arranging contact between themselves without telling me. This has led to a major fallout between me and my family. I told them it wasn’t fair for them to do this but all they are concerned about is seeing the kids at any cost.

So went to mediation this week. I purposefully chose this mediator because she was qualified to speak to children and had told her my concerns. The mediator then told me at the session she couldn’t speak to the children because they were too young????

I had printed out a page of what I thought were reasonable arrangements for access to children. Ex refused every point outright. Her proposal was that I could only see the children for a couple of hours each week. She would drop them off at my parents and I had to drop them off at her parents or aunts. This is a total non starter because considering how the relations are between me and my family at the moment. I have also repeatedly told her in the past that I was not comfortable dropping the children off at her family.

Am I ok to refuse her proposal and go to court. I am at my wits end. This is a situation totally of her making and it is my belief she wants me totally out of the children’s life. On another point I am Autistic and she has always tried to threaten me with saying I am unfit to look after the children if I was to go to court.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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  Anyone else miss the sex?
Posted by: Chester Copperpot - 09-30-2018, 12:12 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (15)

lots of posts from me !

My wife decided back in April that she "wasn't sure about us any more" and that she making a decision on whether we stay together or not.

In the meantime she can't being herself to have any form of sexual relations with me.
it's been 5 months now and have not had as much as a cuddle.

I'm not gonna lie - it's been hard (pun fully intended).

I was wondering if anyone else has gone through the same?

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  Does it work in reverse?
Posted by: Chester Copperpot - 09-30-2018, 12:05 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (2)

hi, I read lots of posts on this forum regarding ex wives claiming their husbands are violent and using that against the man as a means to get him removed from the house. How about if this was reversed?
what if the woman did something to the man? or to the kids?

Would the exact same process apply if it were the female?

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  Do I have good access?
Posted by: stokiesteve71 - 09-30-2018, 10:07 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

Hello

I am looking for some advice from wise heads who have been through this dire situation of divorce.

I currently get my children in the week, my 12 year old son on Tuesday from 5pm until 8.30pm and my 4 year old daughter on Thursdays from 5pm until 7pm.  I then get my kids every other weekend picking my son up on the Friday of that weekend and then having them both on the Saturday night before taking them home on the Sunday evening.

I am troubled that I don't get a night to myself with my young daughter and I am seriously considering court as my ex is being dogged around contact (she seems to think that the children are her possessions since we split).  

Could anyone advise me if I am getting what would be expected?   Am I wasting my time if I push this through to court (I doubt mediation would work, my ex won't go) or should I settle for what I have?  I have spoken to my solicitor who has given me the advice I would expect, but she is running other cases and I dare say that she is giving similar advice to most.

Appreciate any thoughts you can share.

Ta

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  Solicitors!?!?
Posted by: Living Bate - 09-30-2018, 09:41 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (7)

A couple of months back i appointed a solicitor to help me with my situation . . I had to make a £380 payment on account . . I bit the bullet and just did it . .

A couple of weeks back i rang anonymously to the firm and asked how that payment worked - would my solicitor notify me when that credit had run out? I was given a clear yes . . .

Yesterday a letter landed on my doorstep telling me i owe them £660!!

How can they do this??? I'm fuming!!

I work in construction, and where i'm from once you've hit your order value we wont lift a finger without clear instruction. How can it be they just turn round and hit me with this shit?

I didnt even get a good service. . The letters they wrote were littered with mistakes - even basics like names and addresses were wrong.

Someone please tell me how i sort this shit out . . I paid them to help me with my problems, and all they've done is given me another one!

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  Post 18 / School Child Maintenance
Posted by: JH001 - 09-30-2018, 09:05 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

Hi
 
This is my first post on here and thoughts would be very much welcomed.
 
The background : Split in 2016, divorce about to be finalised, financial agreement in place since beginning of this year. I agreed a generous settlement for my ex which included spousal support of £1,700 per month, capped for 7 years (the upper limit applied by the courts). On top of that she receives nearly £1,700 per month child maintenance for 2 children. She received the house mortgage free and opted to take a second property (also mortgage free) as part of a clean break settlement so she could receive the rental income. She works part time.
 
The Issue : my eldest has now finished school and child maintenance payments have come to an end (I had agreed to continue these until the end of the summer as part of the settlement). I continue to make a small contribution to my ex wife for my son’s food while he lives at home (basically one third of the total food bill x 50%) and I also pay for the annual insurance and maintenance costs of his car. However, my ex wife had clearly expected the child maintenance payments to continue and she has said this to my son, showing him copies of emails I have sent to her in which I explain my thoughts on reduced contribution. My children are now refusing to see or speak to me because they have been told that I am not prepared to support them. There has been a history of ongoing alienation attempts and this is making the position intolerable.
 
I want to be reasonable and would appreciate thoughts on how to work out what a reasonable contribution would be for my post 18 son. I should add that he is training to be a professional athlete and receives some income (around £7,000 per year) but he is not attending further or higher education.
 
Many thanks !

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  New to site
Posted by: JohnnieM - 09-30-2018, 08:30 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (1)

Hi Everyone
I'm new to the site and thought i'd just introduce myself.
I'm having a complete nightmare at the minute following my divorce. I've managed to find a place to live and still see my children every week. I've just started to get my life back on track. However my ex won't stop until she has everything. She's now planning  on taking my children to live permanently in Turkey. She's already threatened court action and pressurised my 15 year old son to go to court with her. I'm finding this really difficult. I give my children everything when they come to see me, and feel betrayed that my son is willing to go to court. I'm at my wits end and don't know where to start. Hopefully I'll find some good advice on here.

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