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Here we go again
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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Ex's solicitor submitted ...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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Breach of a Contact Order
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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  GP Surgery Details
Posted by: Leader1978 - 10-11-2019, 03:48 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (8)

The ex has relocated recently to over 50 miles away in an attempt to obstruct my time with the kids.  I have played the same game and relocated so to thwart her argument of wanting to reduce contact due to excessive travel for the kids. 

However, she is now refusing to disclose the GP details of where the kids are registered.  I have explained to her that I need this information in case the kids are unwell whilst in my care, she has refused to respond back to me on this. 

Any suggestions?

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  Here we go again....
Posted by: ad0612 - 10-09-2019, 08:19 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

I have detailed the court order that has been in place since Feb of this year, working well and also flexibly to suit both of us. Under the order is a letter I received from the EW lawyer yesterday obviously wanting to change things up to only suit the EW, I have numbered the 3 paragraphs I'm about to ask questions about:

1 - our flexible approach to football on a sat morning has been that, when I can, I would pick up our son on a Friday night or Sat morning if available (on some dates I would get my Mum or partner to pick him up), but it was never set in stone. I have suggested that to make things easier I just get our son on the Friday night going forward, allowing her to make plans in advance, this was rejected and now on the basis of the letter its clearly all about her needs. Do I offer the Friday night once again?? or what's my best approach

2 - Why does my EW consider a court order not necessary?

3 - again this is only to suit her, at no point was I ever offered an equal share on holidays....I also work 5 days per week and while I'm happy to take annual leave to cover holidays I'm tempted to ask for every Tuesday night also which would take us to 50/50 (I know she will knock this back as it was only every about money but with the new Child Scotland Bill being introduced in September where they are looking for the starting point to be 50/50 shared parenting I might chance my arm)

The date on the email to my previous Lawyer was 22nd August, but I only received it yesterday, is there a time scale for replying and any other thoughts on how I go about this diplomatically.......as sometimes my fingers reply before my brain engages


The sheriff, on joint motion, of consent, grants the pursuer contact on a 4 weekly cycle as follows commencing 18 February 2019:-

  • week 1 - Monday after school until Wednesday at the start of school
  • week 2 - Saturday at times to be mutually agreed between parties until Tuesday at the start of school
  • week 3 - Monday after school until Wednesday at the start of school
  • week 4 - Saturday at times to be mutually agreed between parties until Tuesday at the start of school; thereafter sists the cause for further negotiations and for settlement
    We refer to the above and to the ongoing court action. We note that the case last called on 11 February 2019 and your client was found entitled to interim contact on a four weekly cycle. The case was then sisted for further negotiations and possible settlement.
    Our client has confirmed that since the case last called, contact has been operating and the parties have been communicating much more effectively. We understand that despite the court order there has been some flexibility in relation to the contact arrangements.

  1. We understand that on the weeks your client is due to have contact at the weekends, namely, weeks 2 and 4, the pick-up times are often varied which impacts on our client's plans. We understand that XXXXX sometimes has a football game on a Saturday. On the weekends that XXXXX is due to be with your client and he does not have football our client would propose that your client collect XXXXX at 9.30am. If it is a weekend when your client is due contact and XXXXX has a football game our client would ask that your client take XXXXX to his football game. The times for XXXXX's football games vary so our client would suggest that your client collect XXXXX around 45 minutes before his football.
  2. Our client considers that XXXXX does benefit from the flexible nature of contact. It is her view that a court order is not necessary. However, if your client considers that an order is necessary then she would propose that the current order form the basis of a final order, in relation to week to week contact.

  3. In relation to school holidays, we understand that our client works Monday to Thursday each week. She proposes that parties spend equal time with XXXXX during the holidays, meaning that all holidays are split.  She  would  propose  that  XXXXX  stay  with  your  client  on  a  Monday   and  a  Tuesday. If child-care is required on those days then your client would be responsible for arranging this. XXXXX will remain in our client's care on a Wednesday and Thursday. Similarly, if child-care is required on those days then our client would be responsible for arranging this. The weekend arrangements would operate as usual.

    In relation to Christmas, our client proposes that your client's usual contact is suspended. Our client suggests that Christmas is rotated on a year about basis so that one year one parent has contact with XXXXX over Christmas and the following year they have XXXXX at New Year

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  Advice Needed - Ex Wife..??
Posted by: Mr Sandman - 10-08-2019, 01:27 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (5)

So my story has been an easy one in comparison to some of the others here.

My 17yo daughter lives with me, my ex has gone to live with the guy she had an affair with, now she is blanking her daughter. She is also blanking me on the very brief amount of contact we had, but for that I'm not bothered, kind of relieved in fact.

I'm just gobsmacked at her ignoring her own daughter though. My dilemma, do I a) get involved and tell my ex wife to put on her big girl pants and get a grip of her self. or b) keep away from the ex wife and just provide emotional support to my daughter.

Its proving to be more and more difficult to be neutral about my ex wife to my daughter...

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  Psychology Report
Posted by: SF79 - 10-06-2019, 07:00 PM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (5)

Hi All,

Does anyone have any experience with a psychology report in their case? I need an expert involved in my case as I don't believe CAFCASS have the experience to identify the issues with my ex. They've highlighted that they believe there is Parental Alienation but they aren't doing anything about it.

How can a request an expert report through the courts?


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  Secondary School Choice
Posted by: boyce57 - 10-06-2019, 09:20 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (10)

Both my children go to the primary local to where i live which is in the original family home, mother moved out the area (10 miles away).  Both children are registered at my address still with the council and schools, doctors etc... but myself and the mother do have 50/50 custody and day-to-day care of both children. 

One of my two children is about to go to high school and my preference is the local one, but mother wants the child to go to another school out the area.  

She is now suggesting after over 2years of separation that her address will all of a sudden take precedence as she clams child benefit ie. go with her choice or she'll choose a completely different school (keep in mind our 50/50 situation has been in place since the very beginning and children registered at my address).

I'm pretty sure after all this time the precedence has already been set; has anyone ever experienced anything similar?

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  House Sale
Posted by: Leader1978 - 10-05-2019, 07:16 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)

Fellow Dads,

Need some guidance here.

I have been living in the former matrimonial home for 12 months; recently my ex relocated 50 miles away without notice with the aim of obstructing my time with the kids, I currently have them 45% of the time.  However, she will need to think again as I have in suit relocated to a couple of hundred yards away from the school that my ex has enrolled my daughter into. 

The issue now is that the former matrimonial home is co-owned between me and the ex however, neither of us will be living there as we have secured additional accommodation.  No financial proceedings have been initiated even though my ex has threatened to submit an application to the court on numerous occasions, my focus was on concluding on the child arrangements prior to engaging in discussions around finances. 

We are behind with the mortgage payments and the ex has continued to refuse to contribute since she left, we really need to sell the property before the bank start initiating repossession proceedings, the bank had agreed to some kind of reduction in the monthly payments but needed agreement from the ex as she is a co-owner - the ex has refused to speak to the bank. 

I have obtained valuations and shared the details directly with the ex, she is now refusing to sign the agency agreement with the estate agent so that the property can be marketed.  I may initiate proceedings myself so that the court can order the sale of the home as their is some equity available. Given her reluctance to communicate to the bank and risk repossession then I may even suggest in my application that the ex is not claiming any financial interest in the property and hence, there should not be any equity due to her.

Any thoughts?

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  copies of court paperwork
Posted by: MikesWife - 10-03-2019, 12:30 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (1)

Can't seem to find it trawling through - how does one go about getting copy of position statements submitted and transcript of court proceedings for CAO?  Is that possible??  I've just gone through all my paperwork and realised I have never seen EW's position statements in the 2 different times we went to Childrens Court (can onlu assume she bought with her on day and I wasn't privy or didn't do one?) .  First CAO was done in 2014 and the other in 2017 so not sure if I am too late?  Need to be as armed as possible for "round3" as am going for 50/50 this time and not backing down unless am told to by a judge

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  medical records advice
Posted by: Naive - 10-03-2019, 11:53 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (10)

Just a heads up on a mistake Ive recently realised I made. I used a template [maybe from this site, not sure]
Anyway the letter stated parental responsibility blah blah and could I have a copy of medical record. It also requested that my details be entered onto the medical record. Its only sometime after this that I found out my ex had put someone elses info as secondary contact. But the doctor altered it accordingly, and then printed and sent it to me therefore destroying [effectively] the evidence.

Advice, just ask for the medical record first in its current format, after you receive it, go back to the doctor to have the information changed.

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  all this again, my fault dreading it
Posted by: avadad - 10-02-2019, 07:35 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

hello guys some will no my story and thankyou all who have given advice, however the thing is as of now, i have no contact with my little one, much to my exs delight no dought. so after 8ish months ive wrote ex a letter saying that,,,, nicely,, that id like to see littleone again,, questions are im not holding out with her what so ever,, as its her that put me here really,,, anyway if no reply do i sort out mediation,, dose this cost me again,, ex didnt turn up last time,, because alligations of abuse,, seems very like ive been abused,, really never leaves ya,, for a moment, so then to court again i pay??? and again i get same really shit,, cao,,?? anybody here please advive,, thankyou

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  Should I be Here ?
Posted by: Gogsi - 10-01-2019, 09:14 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (4)

Just wanted to make sure that I'm not totally in the wrong forum.

My wife and I have just split but, unlike most of you separated dads, I'm actually quite fine with the idea that my 5 year old daughter will spend most her time with her mum. You see, I'm retired and over 70 and my daughter (I love her to death) is a rather large handful. She's wonderful, so dramatic and sooo emotional and, when you get to 70, you really want more peace than histrionics, so in a way, the separation might eventually become quite a positive thing for me.
   But let's get it straight, it was my wife who insisted on the separation. Even although, I've had many huge challenges with this woman and they would continue, I asked that she might wait until our daughter was ready to go to high school, but my wife would not even discuss that. She doesn't want to stay another minute with me. So, I really wanted to find out where I stand in this situation.
Like, after I pay the child maintenance that my income dictates, this woman is likely to make, sorry will make all kinds of demands for everything to keep her and her child “in the style.......”
I get a fairly modest state pension and social security from America where I lived. So, my monthly income is approximately £1300.
Have just checked and, using the official child maintenance website, it tells me I should pay £145 per month. Now, I can certainly manage more than this to cover some extra things but how much can my wife demand? That's the scary part for me.
   I would really appreciate any suggestions or help from those of you have already been through what I'm about to go through. It is pretty damn scary, but I know that this has to happen so that my wife and I can eventually move on to things much brighter.

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