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  My ex is not letting my parents see my children
Posted by: Secret-squirrel100 - 12-18-2017, 09:16 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Having recently split up from my ex for almost a year now, things as expected have not been plain sailing and although things have calmed down a little bit recently there is still a lot to sort out which is what I am now coming to...

When I was with my ex I had no family members around me as her family were close by and my family lived in a different part of England so my parents used to visit every so often for a few days at a time which was fine. However, over time my ex started to dislike my parents and I was often put in the middle of all this which was not nice. Then when we split my children stayed with my ex and I got my own place and although I get to see my children fairly regularly, things did break down which resulted in legal action, mediation and an application to the court which has been adjourned a couple of times. 

As my parents do not live nearby and come to visit maybe 2 or 3 times a year, they naturally want to see their Grandchildren and after a recent visit from my parents my ex flatly refused to let my children see them. I even wrote her a nice, but stern letter to her asking if she would reconsider to let my children see my parents for just a couple of hours but all I go back was one of many nasty and spiteful text messages saying that she will never ever let our children see my parents again and they can pass away without seeing them again, which I thought was a diabolical and despicable thing to say. My parents are in their mid 70's and they drive hundreds of miles to see not only myself but my children which my ex won't let them see them. My parents were naturally upset, especially my Mother but I really did not know what else I could do.

In hindsight I shouldn't of told my ex that my parents were visiting and then I could of arranged to have my children with me when my parents arrived, but I didn't want to make things worse again as things have been getting better. That would of only infuriated her once she had found out and then I would be back to square one again which no doubt would involve further costs through my solicitor. I did think about going to their school and pick them up with my parents but I thought that would be a bad idea as I didn't want to cause a scene, especially in front of young children.

I felt so bad that my parents did not get to their Grandchildren this time around, and if they ever will. Surely my ex cannot stop my children from seeing them? My ex did say to me that my children (I have 3 under 9) do not want to see my parents but I think they are too young to understand and I hate to think what poison they have been put in their minds about me and my parents from not only my ex but from her family as well. I would never force my children to do anything that they don't want to do but I think when it comes to seeing Grandparents even it it's for a very short time, that is something we must all do. I just think that my ex was so determined not to let my children see my parents anyway and did not give my children any choice and painted my parents in such a bad light that my children did not have any say in it, which is a real shame and when they are old enough to understand then they can decide but by that time it could be too late.

Does anybody have any suggestions what I can do or is it a matter for the court to decide?

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Posted by: TO2411 - 12-17-2017, 10:52 PM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (4)

Hi, can anyone give some idea of the questions asked by Cafcass in a telephone interview?

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  CMS consultation + arrears
Posted by: Hazy - 12-17-2017, 05:23 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - No Replies


Feel free to make submissions.

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  Ex has had multiple partners since split. Should I worry?
Posted by: Redington - 12-17-2017, 05:07 PM - Forum: New Partners, Relationships - Replies (1)

Hi all,

A quick question about something that has been bugging me for a while.

My ex and I split up a few months before my child was born. In my opinion, the split was always going to happen as she is possessive, obsessive and frankly untrustworthy.

Now just a few months after giving birth, less than year after we split, she gets into a relationship with a guy I had never met before and they are soon moving in together. He is subjected to a background check as his own ex was making things difficult for him to see his own son, which came back all-clear. That relationship ends after about 18 months.

Almost immediately, she gets into another relationship with someone it seems she has just met. They do not move in together formally yet he is spending a lot of time with my child with me not knowing the first thing about him. That ends after under a year.

With little time passed, the same happens with another man who I know even less about. That relationship has now ended and now she is talking about moving in with a 'friend'.

In all this time, I have travelled twice a month at weekends to see and spend time with my daughter, hopefully making it clear to her that I am her father.

Now, I know about my ex's background and family issues and why she seemingly needs the validation that comes from a relationship, but I can't help but worry about the effect this may have on my child. I worry that this will lead to an unstable environment for her to grow up in, or worse, leave her vulnerable to someone with ulterior motives.

I plan to get a background check done on this next person anyway given they will be living with my child, but I just wan't to know, do you think this is something I need to worry about? This is starting to look like a pattern, which wouldn't bother me if my daughter wasn't in the middle of it.

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  New Member saying Hello.
Posted by: Redington - 12-17-2017, 04:21 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (2)

Hi Everyone,

I am Redington, a new member that has joined today. I separated from the mother of my child shortly before she was born 3 years ago, and I have tried my best to be a part of my daughter's life ever since, regularly visiting her despite living in another city several hours away. I decided to join the forum becuase I felt it would be good to discuss matters in the safe space of an anonymous forum rather than relying solely on the (sometimes overenthusiastic) support of my family, seeking advice from others in my position on what to do and how to get past any difficulties that may arise.

Take Care and I look forward to being part of the forum.

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  Competency and privacy
Posted by: SwisshJohnno - 12-17-2017, 12:40 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

Hi all,

I am a complete newby to posting here, however I have a long and hardened history regarding my one teen child (X). There is a lot of relevant history to this question, but rather than write an essay I will focus on the issue at hand without too much detail as it could easily lead to identification.

I have been alienated from X gradually over recent years. A very close loving relationship that has turned sour. There are valid reasons why X might be frustrated at me, but those reasons have been magnified and promoted by the mother. This has gotten to the point that this year X decided to stop speaking with me recently.

Roll forward to some time this year, X has experienced some major life-changing issues . The social services and medical contacts have said that X on their own decided to exclude me from any information about what's going on and I am beside myself. They have made a judgment that X is competent to make a decision to exclude me in matters that clearly pertain to me, and have made a judgement about X's best interests without involving me.

My question is: if these professionals did not inform me of the highly critical issues and have allowed X to be corrupted by the mother in this regard over a lengthy period, is there any recourse to have them provide information regarding X decision to exclude me, how they formed it, how X was even presented with the decision to include or exclude me in the first place and to challenge the decision made by them? Is there a way to establish if his mother was involved in the decision by X? I am acting blind here.

Any pointers or recommendations? I firmly believe they are not acting in 'best interests' and have failed in their duty to help X consider all relevant facts and consequences before allowing X to make that decision,

I am distraught, scared, horrified and angry at the thought of the situation but I appear powerless to do anything to assist my child.

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  At least I'll never do that again!
Posted by: Petem - 12-17-2017, 04:32 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (13)

Right, here's one to think about:-

What do you miss least about your ex? Is it something they would say? Or do perhaps? Maybe it's that you never have to listen to their Mother, see their friends or watch that godawful TV programme again?

Can be serious or silly.

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  Child benifit for 16 year old
Posted by: steph1234 - 12-16-2017, 10:03 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi All

Have my 16 year old who lives with me. He will be starting 6th form education next september 2018 and I asume will  leave in september 2020. My question is when will my child benifit stop for him. His birthday is 11th Sep. Also could my e force me to sell marital home before he leaves education.


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  Where to start..
Posted by: Ukfirestorm - 12-16-2017, 08:59 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (19)

Been married eleven years, have two girls aged 4 and 2, and recently my wife has told me she is seeing someone else, so far only kissing, but they message each other all the time.
She tells me she is confused, has feelings for him, but isn't sure. 
I'm in limbo..

Any ideas? They have met up around 8 times and tell each other they love each other, she says she loves me but it's different..

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  Child arrangement order breach
Posted by: jamez2018 - 12-16-2017, 07:31 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (19)

I have a child arrangement court order to have my daughter at the weekend, my ex has not let me have her and has told me not to contact her.

I have printed the form of enforcement at the moment it has just been the first breach, however i am on low income and the £215 court fee i was not sure if i would get this back or be able to get legal aid or some help with this fee?

Thank you for your help 


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