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Is anyone else scared of ...
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ex stopping contact
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  Moving On - The pros and cons of the new 'relationship'
Posted by: Mr Sandman - 11-29-2018, 02:13 PM - Forum: New Partners, Relationships - Replies (21)

Thought I'd start a thread on new relationships, beyond the dating and how we start to think and then get involved in a new relationship. What worries us, what are our red lines, what are your tips and advice?

So for me I've met someone great, been going out a while, and I cant see any 'ifs or buts', literally no problems, she is a little younger than me, similarly professional, has worked with the military, has two teenagers that have nearly left home, similar sense of humour, outlook, values, taste in music, books, cinema. There are no awkward moments, we get on like a house on fire. I enjoy and want to spend time with her.

But I cant reconcile myself to thinking of this as long term, something is holding me back even though I don't want it to. I guess I'm just being cautious for once in my life, but is this normal? Does anyone else have this issue? Does it ever end?

More broadly, if any of you have moved on to a new relationship, how did you feel and how did you manage it?

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  Advice pls?
Posted by: yuri1003 - 11-29-2018, 12:42 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (11)

I have a real dilemma at the moment, as myself and my stbx agreed on joint custody in regards with ur 2 kids, usually this is an ideal arrangement for the both of us but my issue is my ex have a history of abusing my 7year old daughter as she plays favorite with them. She favours my 4 yr old boy because he is easier to handle. Ive never reported her to the authorities but I do have videos, pictures, audios proofs of some of the incident and also text frm her acknowledging her anger problems. Now when i eventually find my own place hopefully after the holidays, i inow that i will start worrying about my daughter as i wont be there 24/7 with her, i havent reported her because i am waiting for my x to pay me off my share of the house and i am physically still in the house to protect my girl, the last episode was about 3 weeks ago and my lil girls been constantly on my side and sleeps in my bedroom. How can i protect her from mx ex wrath when i leave? Can i report her or my concerns to child protection and maybe caution her and make her take anger management course, im not heartless and I know deep inside that she cares about my girl but when she loses her temper she takes it out on my daughter. I still want her to rebuild her relationship with my girl. Pls help with some guidance if you can. Many thanks!

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  ex threatening to move back!!!
Posted by: pazzer1973 - 11-28-2018, 11:36 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (16)

Right the ex moved out with the kids on the 19th October, i stumped up £1500 towards her rental and off she went took most of the home with her, now because the mortgage i'm getting to purchase her share of the equity is not as fast moving as she likes and her relationship with the freak she was seeing has ended, she threatening to be back in the house on Mon if the money isn't paid.....

This woman has no idea of the laws involved in these situations and has her own bloody opinion on EVERYTHING...even though its half her house i'm sure she just cant just return because she wants too???? her rent is paid upfront for the next 4 months too, the reason for this is she has no car, and is sick of walking to work and my boy to her work to before school, iv'e offered a solution to pick them up short term until funds are released to her...

Any info on this scenario would be much appreciated....

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  Cafcass not fund the DVPP course
Posted by: samim1919 - 11-28-2018, 11:08 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - No Replies

Hi guys I found guilty at family Court but cafcas recommend on their initial letter if I found guilty I needed to complete DVPP course. Now court told my solicitors to contact cafcas directly to refer me to the course and fund the course. I spoke with cafcas they said it need to be ordered by court and we are closed your case we need court order to ask us for referral. I am really lost I don't have enough funds it's over 2k to pay to complete the course can anyone help me why the judge not order cafcass and cafcas said we need court order for referral I am really lost what to do guys. thanks

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  What exactly is half the holidays please ?
Posted by: AnotherDad - 11-28-2018, 08:24 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (2)

I know it sounds a silly question, but I have a situation where ex and I are trying to agree our own order and want to make sure I don’t shoot myself in the foot. If we agree 10 nights a month in the form of every other weekend fri-mon and a midweek night each week. Plus half the holidays, how do agreements/courts etc work out what that actually is ? Are normal arrangements suspended and half holiday contact is used instead or is it normal count plus half the holidays per month ?


Take my case for example, if we achieve 10 nights and half the holidays. That is on average 2.5 nights per week. If the Christmas holidays which is 2 weeks and one of those falls in December, how many days should it be.

The schools break up on the 21st December. So 22nd -> 31st is 10 nights/ days. So half of that is 5 days. So should that be 5 plus the 10 so 15 days in total ?

The 5 nights/ days of the holidays plus the normal 21/31 x 10 = 6.77 nights for the first part of the month plus the 5 for the holidays giving 11.77 so say 12. ?

Then apply the same logic to summer holidays if you have the kids half the August summer holiday for 2weeks, = 14 days / nights, what happens in th First half of the holidays ?

Is there a standard / court method of doing this ? E.g. if someone has every other weekend plus a night in the week and then the holidays approach ?

Any guidance welcome please.


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  two years in court and i get squat
Posted by: avadad - 11-28-2018, 07:24 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

2 years in family court and im getting 8 hours every 2 weeks and the bond i have is not what i want with my little girl who is 2.8 years old, and as christmas coming,, its fucking hard,,, and the horible bxxxxx , ex is taking the piss, she got legal aid womans aid boxxxxs, really really really fed up,, not even a part time dad, Sad

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  NMO fact finding tomorrow
Posted by: thelongroad - 11-28-2018, 03:01 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (14)

Hi All,

Entering the lions den tomorrow for 1 day NMO Fact finding hearing. I have been separated from my son for 7 months before the lies contained in (my sons mother) statement can be questioned in a court. Ridiculous for myself and others having to wait this long with no contact at all. section 7 has been completed before this fact finding which inn turn has a negative effect on section 7 as their are questions left unanswered, from NMO. This length of time and process needs to change for parents and children...

Anyway, i will go in like Braveheart tomorrow-thanks to everyone who has supported me thus far. i would be lost without this forum and the amazing selfless dads that contribute their shared experience-thank you all.

I will update the forum with the outcome tomorrow.

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  Mortgage lender offering 30k less than property previously valued for
Posted by: Gra76 - 11-28-2018, 02:42 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (14)

So we had estate agents round, they both valued the house at £300k.

Our current mortgage lender values the house at £302k using their online system without having to send a valuer.

My STBX had her potential mortgage lender sent a valuer round who has said it's worth £270k.

She's now offering me lower equity based on this lower valuation from her mortgage lender (Nationwide).

Anything I can do about this or do I just suck it up and agree on the lower valuation? I'm getting fed up of waiting for my money now...

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Posted by: Tom_W88 - 11-28-2018, 11:28 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (13)

Does CMS just go off the amount of times during the week that are set with the kids mother?

Or can you include days where you have them for days longer.

And even add holidays?

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  Back dated Child Maintenance
Posted by: desperately need advice - 11-28-2018, 11:17 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (5)

Can anyone help me, I separated from my partner over 5 years ago. We have 2 children, and she is really difficult with access, she sets high demands, that every time I have done, (contact only by her mum, supervised visits only etc.) There is no history of any violence etc, she just tries to make it difficult.

About 2 years ago we started trying to sort out the house that we bought together, and access to the children, this went on until the house situation was sorted, and then immediately she stopped contact again. (That is a separate issue!)

Anyway, I have now received a letter from the CMS saying that I am in arrears by nearly £10k.

I took a substantial less payment on the house £50K and believed that this made us all straight. (That was on my 1/2 of the property)

When I was seeing the children, I was also paying her cash, which I do have some record of via text messages etc, but since the house was sorted I have not been paying any maintenance because of me taking a lesser payment, and the first I knew about being in arrears was this letter, does anyone have any advice on what I should do? or how to sort this out? I can't be the only one this has happened to!

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