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  Dire advice needed!
Posted by: Akarou - 09-29-2018, 09:07 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (10)

Hi guys,

So everything finally started to go in my favour in court. I had a directions hearing on Thursday and it was agreed by my ex wife through her barrister and mine that we would do the following:
• Drop a finding of fact hearing regarding DV as it was adult issues unrelatable to the children.
•That the children would live with her.
•That I am to produce evidence that my mental health is fine.
•That I am to undertake a drugs / alcohol test.
•That contact is reinstated in a contact centre starting on Thursday 4th October.

So everything went extremely well and I was pleased with the outcome and that the ex wife had been agreeable to the terms my barrister set out.

However since then, I received a call from the ex last night which I refused to answer on the basis that I am still subject to providing an undertaking for my ex wife's application for a Non-Molestation Order.

My Mum called the ex back who said she wanted to talk to me as her barrister advised her to have contact with me, and that the undertaking doesn't prevent me speaking to her if she contacts me as it only has the powers she enforces it with by asking the court to enforce it.

So when the ex called back I spoke to her and my sons, she was amicable towards me for the sake of them and whenever shenasked about any of my allegations I just responded saying that she agreed to drop them and the finding of fact hearing so it is in the past and will stay there.

Now I do not trust the ex and think the best thing I can do is tell my solicitor that I did speak to her and tell my solicitor that the ex told me she was "taking a risk" in contacting me as it could get her in trouble and myself.
She claimed that she is extending the olive branch and risking everything and that she is putting trust in me to tell no one she had called me.

What is everyone else's opinion on this?

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  Contact
Posted by: Gazza - 09-29-2018, 08:19 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

Hi all need advice,on July 17th I should of took my two youngest boys (11 & 7) to turkey for a holiday but the day before my ex refused to let them go,since then she won't let me see them,which is killing me.My 11 year old has been secretly sneaking around to see me and I was talking to him on his PlayStation but she found out and made him block me on the PlayStation and told him he hadn't to come around anymore.He also plays football for a local team which I have took him for the last 4 years so this is the only time I see him.Today the 29th Sept he had a game and I went to watch him play,my ex was there as well,he came over to me and we was talking and I asked him to come round and visit,his reply was I can't because my mum will have a go at me,I stood there in shock for a few seconds thinking that my own son was frightened to come and see me because of his own mum!...........By this time I was raging and ready to go over to her and snap her neck.......but I didn't.......I calmly said don't worry about your mum ,come and see me when you can she can't stop you from seeing me,also it was my youngest 7th birthday last week and I asked to see him and she refused,what can I do, if anyone is in a similar situation I would be grateful for some advice or info as what is best to do

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  Mediation
Posted by: scoot76 - 09-29-2018, 02:52 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

Hi,

I'm currently looking at applying for a contact order. My ex is refusing to allow me to speak to or see the children. She claims I'm an alcoholic who can't be trusted and also says that the children don't want to see or speak to me. I took them both swimming on my own less than two weeks before I left and have proof. Currently she has cut all contact from me and herself for two weeks because her and the children are upset because her mums dog died, which coincidentally was the day before she was supposed to send me the audio from asking the kids if they want to see me for proof that what she is saying was true. My brother is also over for a week and he only comes every 5 or so years, so it's a bit nasty in my opinion.

Anyway my question is in relation to mediation before applying for a contact order. Do we have to do it and if not what do I need to do to show the court there really is no point?

Thanks.

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  REGULAR USERS PLEASE READ
Posted by: MarkR - 09-28-2018, 06:00 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (21)

It appears that the admin is leaving the company what own this forum.

While I am going to do my best to keep this going, I am concerned that we might all lose contact should the site go down.

If you want to be kept updated if we have to start something else, please send your Name and User Name by email to me, mark@teamringland.co.uk.

Thanks

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  dealing with court order
Posted by: cheesy time - 09-28-2018, 05:32 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

Hi Guys,

I went to court to get 50/50 and lost...The kids were too young to be away from their mother and I live 25mins too far to be able to drop them to school in the morning as this may be too stressful for them...

Anyway, The 2 female magistrates decided to take away my Thursday night which I had with my 2 kids 4 & 2 for well over a year and replace it with contact only on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 3pm till 6pm They also said I must pick them up from school at 3pm on the friday that its my weekend and drop them to school at 9am on Monday morning, so they did give me Sunday night its my weekend.

The problem I have is that with this new court order I am losing out on 25% of my working capability, expected to pay child maintenance, travel to and fro 12 times in 2 weeks, provide tea for kids on those contact days, provide school dinner for that Monday, and provide clothing for the weekend I have them.

So, I put my house on the market and had a good think. In the long run I need to get back to work full time. I asked my ex if in the short term till I move could we stop the contact for Wed & Thurs just until I move locally to them. Then when I move I asked if from now on she can pick the kids up from school and I pick them up from hers at 4.30pm till 6pm or perhaps later if she agreed.

She responded by saying that I must do as the court order says and if I don't she will stop me seeing the kids. As per usual. 

What are my options here? Do I go back to court and ask for a variation or can I simply not do as the court order says?

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  What happens if you talk about case please read
Posted by: ukchris2013 - 09-28-2018, 05:25 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

Hi all what can happen if my ex has been talking about our case regarding our children, her boyfriend has posted on a social media site saying I don’t see the kids I am not allowed by law but I am trying to see them

Can she get in trouble

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  Advice on the process of moving out of family home
Posted by: proud_dad - 09-28-2018, 04:14 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Dads

I think the time for me to move out is getting closer. Through mediation, we've come to a childrens care arrangement that I aim to get stamped by the courts.

Next step is moving out, as STBX narcissist is in toxic overdrive.

I've mapped out a process to move out. Can you cast your eye at it and offer comments and criticisms?

Thanks

1. Remove my name from utilities (I currently pay for it all)

2. Settlement offer (she's offered to buy my share of family home as we are currently 50/50)

3. Linked to point 2, proof of mortgage offer (frees me)

3. Settle child maintenance (allows me to calculate rent for place decent for kids to live with me during my care time until I can buy my own place)

4. Divorce settlement transfer of funds

5. Remove my name from council

6.Rent place

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  could you live within the same village as your ex
Posted by: GC1974 - 09-28-2018, 02:39 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (10)

I miss my kids so much. Currently im driving 20 mins each way to see them. Not much in itself when you say it out loud, but it feels like im not part of their world not living close to them.

Plus I like the village and now im spending less and less time there I miss it more and more.

At 43 would live in a village housing your nutcase ex? how do you meet a new partner in a small community??

Advise welcome.

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  Divorce
Posted by: Living Bate - 09-28-2018, 08:13 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (8)

Ok, so i don't really know hardly anything about divorce. None of my immediate family have any experience with it and I also don't have any friends that have been through it.

I've had my Divorce Petition drafted up by my solicitor, and next week I plan on paying the £550 fees and getting it rolling. 

Just wondering, if she doesn't accept fault for unreasonable behaviour, what would happen next?

Does she have to pay £550 to issue her own petition? or can she just respond to mine?

If she comes back to me blaming me for unreasonable behaviour I understand if I want to just get divorced I am better off just accepting the blame.

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  Redundancy during divorce
Posted by: beehive84 - 09-27-2018, 09:08 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (19)

So likelihood now is I'm going to be made redundant by the looks of it but divorce is not yet over. 

This simply results in me being unable to afford the interim maintenance, the mortgage and the child support.  I'll get no redundancy pay either as not been in the job long enough.

I have less than £3000 in the bank and I'm unsure when and how much my next job will be and I now need to prioritise my rent. 

And advice chaps? I feel like it's almost a mixed blessing, ultimately I can't pay what I no longer will have right?

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