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  Child Maintenance with custody share
Posted by: mmacleod73 - 09-19-2018, 10:02 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (4)

I live in the UK.  I would be very grateful if you could assist me.  I split from my wife a year ago.  I live in a one bedroom flat and have my son for an average of 3 days per week often more.  We share a bed because I cannot afford a bigger place.  I earn around £540 per week before tax.  My wife lives in a 2 bedroom flat and I think she earns around £576.  She also receives the £20.71 Child benefit every week.  She has told me I will be receiving a letter instructing me to pay Child Maintenance which is around £44 a week.  Can I dispute this or am I legally obliged to pay it?  It seems very unfair.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

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  Being told to refuse contact until the mother stops being unreasonable - HELP!
Posted by: irezumiouja - 09-19-2018, 09:39 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (1)

I seperated from the mother of my three children (F;7, F;5 and M;3) 15 months ago.

We have always managed to co-parent with fairly flexible arrangements following along the alternative weekend schedule and once per week in the evening. Until two weeks ago when everything changed.

My ex and I split because I found the relationship to be mentally abusive with constant arguments - most of which was in front of the kids. We were both at fault but I was the one who ultimately left as I didnt want the kids growing up with our behaviour impacting their lives every day.

I now have a new relationship which has been going for 10 months now. The kids are extremely fond of my new partner and her son (M;5) with a strong bond now formed.

Fast forward to now and we still argue once per month but generally we're in agreement we had hit a good stride co-parenting together. Two weeks ago, we argued about bed times and for some reason, it really affected her to the point she reported me to the police and instantly shut down. Constantly telling me I have no rights etc etc.

I'll be honest, im in a spin and at a loss.

I have attempted to complete a parenting plan but she is not being co-operative aside from accepting a couple of ideas like a shared calendar. I have also scheduled an MIAM meeting with a mediator next week which my ex is aware of but has not confirmed whether she will join in the process. Going down this formal route scares me as I want to avoid the stress and cost of court at all costs but I dont get the impression my ex understands the implication of going to court. I honestly believe she thinks the court will tell me I have no rights and be happy with what I have...

The reason I am writing this long convuluted post is because of a turn of events last night. My new partner has told me she doesnt feel safe or capable of parenting my children when they stay with us. This is due to the concern that she called the police once for no reason, whats to say she wont do it again? I need to add that my new partner is a primary school teacher so the implications of a false report could be significant.

Having moved into my new partners house, I am in an awkward position. I do not have any concrete alternative accomodation for my weekends. As such, I have asked my ex to confirm in writing that she understand my new partner cares and parents the children alongside me on the weekends but she is refusing to acknowledge the issue.

I have explained to her that her refusal to acknowledge my new partner through an email or letter makes weekend contact for me close to impossible and yet she will not budge.

What do I do? 

Friends and family are telling me to forego contact with the children until there is further resolution. Firstly, I cant imagine not seeing my children and secondly, what would the impact of my actions be?

Any advice would be very welcome.

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  Mail order brides
Posted by: Jim - 09-19-2018, 07:25 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (29)

Hello guys. A few months ago I asked a question about online dating. It was a serious question but I didn't think it would get more than a couple of replies. Now the thread is 27 pages and still running. Now I have another question and you might think it's daft but I am serious about it too. Instead of dating has anybody thought of foreign brides? 

The idea came into my head suddenly and my first thought was to forget about it just as quickly. I remember years ago seeing an old bloke in the shopping center with a much younger and more attractive Thai bride as they used to be called. She was half his size but he had her pushing an incredibly heavy supermarket trolley.

But now there seem to be all sorts. Eastern Europeans. Latins. I am starting to wonder if there is something to be said for exploring this way forward. There was a poster on one of the boards - I think this one - who said that he had given up on western women because of their values. It could be he had a good point. 

Has anybody else thought about this or had experience or heard anything about it or have any thoughts on the subject?

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  Restraining order.
Posted by: Andy1029 - 09-18-2018, 10:23 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (3)

Hi. My ex partner has had a restraining order placed on me (5 years). I haven't seen my children for over a month now. I have been advised by the court that I will only be able to see the kids via social services under supervision. I have no idea how long I will be able to see them for and I've heard nothing from social services up to yet. My worst fear is that my children will forget me as they are still very young. I just dont know what to do, how long will I be able to see the children for, will this continue for five years or will things get any better?

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  Ex has stopped my access
Posted by: Bluesintown - 09-18-2018, 07:15 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

Dear Members,

I have applied for child arrangement. Ex missed her first court date and still waiting to hear for next steps.

Meanwhile Ex has stopped my access - calls to my child - Can I do anything till next court hearing to get back my access rights?

Please can anyone advise?

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  URGENT HELP-missed court date
Posted by: thelongroad - 09-18-2018, 06:52 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)


I have just received a court order asking me to attend court yesterday on 17th September, which i was not aware of. They said at court that for this NMO charge i should provide police records within 14 days, which would have taken me to the 11th September. I was also aware there was a section 7 ordered but was not aware there was a court date given at FHRDA for fact finding charge. I even emailed the court 2 days ago asking for court order for clarification as it has been 3 weeks since i attended

What should i do? things are going so well but i was not aware of this? i am scared i will be found guilty although i have all the evidence. Is it possible they gave a date in court order but not at court and it has passed already?

Can anyone please advise what i should do immediately.


the date the court order was issued was yesterday which was the same day as NMO court date. I was not even made aware at FHDRA-this is so unfair

Its okay, they sent me an order with no date of court date but just saying the judge ordered yesterday they will have a one day hearing at a date in the future..another tree dies for a complete waste of time. I am like a springed coil on edge scared of making any mistakes.

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  Surely this isn't right
Posted by: ThomasUK - 09-18-2018, 06:02 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Thank you for the reply. Confirmed what I had suspected.

I cannot delete this post on my mobile so have removed the original content.

Thanks again.

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  Child Benefit Payments
Posted by: RockAndAHardPlace - 09-18-2018, 05:49 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Ok, I've completely tried to do the right thing financially since my ex and I split, always paid what we agreed, split school uniform expenses etc. As I've posted on other threads, my ex is terminally ill and our children now live with me. Since this point I've never asked for anything, and she has continued to claim child benefit as her mother claimed they needed it to feed the kids when they go to stay. I've let this go now for 6 months, but after recent events I'm getting frustrated that I am paying for literally everything and not even being allowed to claim the child benefit. To top it off, last weekend while my daughter's were there they had a sandwich each and a bowl of soup, not exactly an expensive diet. How should I approach me taking over the child benefit claim?

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  Contact agreement with the ex
Posted by: ukchris2013 - 09-18-2018, 05:05 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies

We’re due in court again Thursday fort directions hearing, if we come to a suitable arrangement between ourselves and our solicitors would the court proceedings stop if we asked them to?

My solictor seems to think she will drop Dv allegations as she just used it to get legal aid and had no evidence either way so will probably not pursue, so has anyone ever agreed half way through court and it to be fine


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  How do CSA even calculate overnights?
Posted by: marios84 - 09-18-2018, 03:52 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (5)

Following my court order I sent over the documentation to CSA to recalculate my payments due to overnights.

So my court order states:

Saturday - Monday (every other weekend)
2 weeks summer holidays
half of all half terms and school holidays
alternate birthdays/ christmas/ easter etc...

After all that they told me my calculation was 102 days (2 days off band B) - does anyone have any idea how they even calculate the term days etc?

Before its mentioned, I want to support my child, however when the mother spends all the money on herself and holidays, I am not here to support my ex's lifestyle. The money I saved I will now continue to put away in my daughters savings account.

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