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Latest Threads
Dying inside
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: Rob74
14 minutes ago
» Replies: 12
» Views: 255
Finally got the courage t...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: Rob74
31 minutes ago
» Replies: 15
» Views: 225
Advice on possible court ...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: andynumpty
33 minutes ago
» Replies: 8
» Views: 165
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: avadad
1 hour ago
» Replies: 0
» Views: 10
What to do now? Contact d...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: MarkR
2 hours ago
» Replies: 4
» Views: 50
Ex partner concerns
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: asd1270
4 hours ago
» Replies: 11
» Views: 135
Holiday - Should I compro...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: LTCDAD
6 hours ago
» Replies: 4
» Views: 66
Advice for what to includ...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Tamagoto
7 hours ago
» Replies: 5
» Views: 117
In court tomorrow!
Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc
Last Post: Scott101
8 hours ago
» Replies: 11
» Views: 396
1st hearing
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Scott101
8 hours ago
» Replies: 3
» Views: 78

  Ex partner concerns
Posted by: kettleman - Yesterday, 07:56 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (11)

Have recentely been informed my ex partner has made a suicidal attempt via overdose, and admitted to hospital + evaluated. my legal rep seems less than concerned at addressing the issue, this is now the 2nd time she has overdosed in the last year whilst being the only carer of my daughter.

This gives me great concerns about my childs wellbeing whilst she is caring for her, could anyone recommend a course of action to take? I am not keen on contacting social services incase it blows up and my daughter is put into some form of foster home until my court proceedings are finished. I would not be surprised if my ex-partner denied having a child whilst being pyshicatrially evaluated after her overdose, and as such the information was not passed on at the time.

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Posted by: towbar71 - Yesterday, 07:20 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (9)

I have joint parental responsibility of my daughter and i want to take her away on a foreign holiday, my wife has said that i cannot as she has concerns about my drinking (i would like to point out that i do not drink when my daughter is in my care).
Can my wife stop me from taking my daughter away on holiday? if so how do i go about getting this reversed? would i have to seek permission from the courts?

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  Consent V Court Orders
Posted by: DadDolent - Yesterday, 12:21 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (2)

I hear that a court child arrangement orders could be by consent or not.

I understand if the parties don't agree by consent, the eventually the court will make an order.

But are they both legally enforceable? Are there any differences?

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  Good will 'swaps after court order
Posted by: daddyshortlegs - 01-16-2018, 10:20 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (3)

Any downsides to agreeing to weekend swaps etc that informally go against court allocated time? Does it set a precedent that ex can exploit in future? Or is this what having a say feels like?

(She wants to know if a swap agreed pre-order is still on)

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Posted by: Pdaddy - 01-16-2018, 09:30 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (11)


Final court order was agreed by consent in October for a shared care arrangement which is nearly 50/50 overnight stays. In the last month the mother has done quite a few things that I think are outside the spirit of shared care and I believe she is doing these things to get back at me. She has:

1. Applied for our 4 year old daughter to attend a school without my consent and against my wishes. She kept this from me. I only found out from the council. They subsequently suspended her application because she doesn't have the legal right to make a unilateral decision.

2. Despite agreeing in writing to make a contribution to nursery fees if I took on the direct debit payments (which the nursery has just introduced as mandatory) she has refused to actually pay me anything and I'm stuck paying the whole lot.

3. It was agreed that my daughter would spend christmas eve/day morning (the first since separation) with me and her mother would have her in the afternoon to open a second lot of presents and have dinner. When I picked my daughter up on christmas eve from her mother I found out her mother had told her it was christmas day on the 24th and the 23rd was christmas eve so she had had a full christmas with her. When I tried to tell my 3 year old it wasn't christmas yet she became confused and had a full on melt down which ruined christmas eve.

4. Last week I agreed to change our schedule so her mother could take my daughter to visit her parents. There is no requirement for me to do this but did so because I thought it was in my daughter interest. I subsequently found out she had lied and was actually taking her away for a week with her new boyfriend whom my daughter has not met yet. She has only been with him for a couple of months and by her own admission only see him twice per month. She did not discuss this with me and lied about it when I asked.

I know she is doing this out of spite but I don't know whether there is enough here to go back to court and say she is not sticking to the shared care arrangement. Any advice on what I can do would be massively appreciated.


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Posted by: avadad - 01-16-2018, 09:08 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

ive had a section 7 report, from cafcass?????? but ive had no fact finding , court hearing???     am i missing something here,, guys

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  Parental courses
Posted by: kettleman - 01-16-2018, 08:30 PM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - No Replies

I have recently attended the separated parental information course via self-referral for myself, this was done through a contact centre advising me of the course, I was told this will give me some brownie points in my court hearings to come.. was wondering if anyone knew of any other courses/programs available that might help my chances in court to show that I am willing to work as a separated parent for my childs best interests.

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  Contact Issues - seeking advice
Posted by: Marg 1963 - 01-16-2018, 07:53 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

I am writing on behalf our son. 
What are our son’s rights as a father?

Our son left his ex (girlfriend ) 3 and a half years ago. They have 2 children together, aged 6 and 4.
Our son is severely sight impaired. He can ‘see’, but his vision is limited and he cannot drive. However, he does work and is self-employed.

They lived in a house we own. He treated her to many holidays and bought a nice car, which he paid over half for. My son and I looked after the children while she was working. 

When the relationship finally ended, she did not want to discuss the car, or all the money she took out of their joint account or the unpaid debts.  We tried mediation with her, but she didn’t turn up to the meeting.  

She moved into a nice house nearby, while he went to live in an awful flat, the area frequented by druggies. He was there for 6 months before we decided to move him back to the previous house, rather than sell it.

She went to the CMO for child maintenance. At first, she told them he didn’t have them any nights, when he actually had them 2 nights a week! The CMO then rang her. He has never claimed for his new child or the extra nights he has had the children, (mainly, while she was on holiday with her new boyfriend), because of the underlying threat she will stop him from seeing them.

He has always paid maintenance on time, but she asks for more money to buy clothes. We now have the added cost of fuel as she has now moved over 30 miles to be with her new boyfriend. She told our son she was moving, very suddenly. Our son didn’t have any say in the schools she chose. One of the children took a long time to settle in. She wanted to come back to her daddy.

The rota has always been on her terms. Our son did have the children every weekend, of varying lengths. The Sunday only day was dropped, by mutual consent, last September. So it was then, 3 weekends out of 4. We are expected to do all the driving, even though our son can’t drive. We will do it so our son sees his children. She moans, if on the rare occasion, she has to drive down.

We are ‘expected’ to take them back up to parties if they fall on his weekend (6 trips!), including buying the birthday present for the last one! The children don’t even join in. We put our foot down and refused to go to the last one. Are we being unreasonable at wanting to put a stop to it? We feel she is taking the p***.

Because of our refusal to take them to the party and the fact that my son refuses to give her any more money, we feel this is the reason she has decided to cut his contact with the children to every other weekend now. Our son isn’t happy with this. She hasn’t discussed this with him, just told him or rather texted him, as she normally does, with this new rota.  As far as she is concerned, that is the end of the matter. He doesn’t have a right to have any say in it. She has asked the children (age 6 and 4) about this new arrangement and it’s ok by them. At their age they can’t be asked to make decisions like that, can they?  Without any prompt from anyone, the children wanted to stop longer at their dads this weekend! 

She says she wants to see the children more and so does her family (they haven’t bothered much with them before).  She wants the rota to be every other weekend but to be flexible (to suit her!). And they still have to go to parties even if is our son’s weekend. We and our son (if he does agree to every other weekend) want it more fixed, so we aren't messed about. We feel we are being dictated to and so does our son.
We know she plays us off against each other, thinking we aren't communicating. eg She'll say, well 'our son'  said he agreed or said something, when in fact he hasn't at all.

She says her decision is final as she is the main carer. What rights has our son got? We desperately need advice.  Our son is prepared to see a solicitor, if necessary.

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  Any tips for mediation?
Posted by: Charlie7000 - 01-16-2018, 06:37 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

This is court ordered mediation before final hearing.  Just prior to it starting, had lots of threatening emails from ex who says if xyz document isn't produced at first mediation then blahdi blah contact.  This is to do with her latest accusation. Ok so contact may go pearshaped before final hearing.

But assuming mediation actually doesn't fall apart in the first 10 minutes, what kind of things should I be prepared to discuss (it's shuttle mediation).  At the moment she is trying to get an agreement at mediation via blackmail!

Am a bit concerned at sharing any information at all at this stage, even at mediation.

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  Contact issues- any help greatly appreciated.
Posted by: mikeg4278@yahoo.com - 01-16-2018, 06:14 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

I am divorced 10 years and have 1 child who was moved 250 miles away from me around 5 years ago. I took out a court injunction to prevent this and as part of the agreement to remove this injunction and allow my ex to move, we mutually agreed via a court order that she would bring him at her own expense to a midway point between the two of us at her own expense. In the last three years, this has been superceded by an arrangement where he flies fortnightly between the two us and we both bear the cost of one flight each plus chaperone costs(the cost of this more or less equates with the cost of the journey by car). This has worked without any problems for the full three years.

She has long been resentful of this arrangement and just after Christmas, she announced that is no longer prepared to pay for her flight but would still make my son available for contact if I paid the return flight she is responsible for.

To further complicate matters, she is currently threatening to take me to court re a best endeavours clause to remove her name from the mortgage for the FMH. This has never been an issue until last summer when she found herself in her new property on a Standard Variable Rate after the expiry of a long-term fixed deal. Despite being able to secure a new mortgage first time around, she is being prevented second time around due to her name being on the former marital home.  It is in both our interests for this situation to be resolved as there are considerable cost benefits for us both. 

On this basis, I applied for a mortgage last summer and was marginally unsuccessful but told by the broker that it would be highly likely I would succeed next time around on completion of the second year of accounts for my business. I am currently self-employed but was only able to submit one years of accounts. I will be in a position to submit another year of accounts at the end of March.

I have explained to my Wife that I cannot simply take on the cost of her flights as it will severely jeopardise the mortgage application. I have suggested that we appoint a mediator and do a mutual financial disclosure in order to reach a resolution. She has completely ignored all suggestions and requests to find a resolution, therefore, forcing me to take legal action the cost of which will once again have a detrimental effect on the mortgage.

I have written to her and advised that if she is not prepared to discuss a resolution or consent to mediation then the only option I have to keep the mortgage application on track is to book the cost of the flights and deduct this from her maintenance, providing her with the receipts. This will basically mean she is not any worse off than she is currently but I maintain contact with my Son and keep the mortgage application on track. I have informed her twice of my intention to do this and it once again been ignored. 

Can anyone please advise on the likely implications for me if I take this approach. All payments are fully up to date and there are no arrears.

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