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Ridiculous Contact Propos...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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Feeling lost
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Please help - I don't kno...
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Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
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looking for advice ..vary...
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My Head Is Exploding Over...
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She raids the house.
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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Definition of a Consent O...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
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Self Representation
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5 hours ago
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Enforcement hearing tomor...
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  McKenzie friend
Posted by: Marg 1963 - 02-27-2018, 03:46 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

I have posted our son's story on another thread. so I won't go into again.

Our son is taking his ex to court, he has a solicitor. His ex says she is self representing. Whether she is telling the truth or not, he's not sure! She says she is taking her new partner in with her for support. 
She has been living with him for 2 years. Would he be allowed to do this, as he has an interest in the case? From what I have read, he won't be allowed to speak for her, anyway.

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  Spousal maintenance and child maintenance
Posted by: ontherails - 02-27-2018, 03:17 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)


So me and my wife are on the verge of separating but we are trying to work things out. If we decide it is over we will probably stay in our rented house until the lease is up.

If we decide to separate my view was we would revert to going more or less halves on the bills with me possibly giving a little bit more. However, will I be eligible at that point to pay spousal or child maintenance?


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  I'm stunned
Posted by: Cheese_head_1986 - 02-27-2018, 12:54 PM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (5)

So I've been having supervised contact with my 18 month old daughter. Progress has been slow but there has been progress, she gets very bad separation anxiety when leaving her mum but she has been gradually getting better and 2 weeks ago I had the best session ever, she settled down quickly and ran into my arms smiling.

Cut to the next session, the one where cafcass were also observing... and it was like I was a monster, she screamed and pushed me back and ran away from me... she's never done that not ever... so I only saw her for 15min before it was decided that it was too distressing for her.

Cafcass spoke to me and said very bluntly that contact obviously wasn't improving and that if things don't improve then contact could be stopped.

The contact centre staff were stunned and couldn't understand how cafcass could think that given how glowing my reports have been.

My ex and cafcass are on the same page that contact is too distressing and she can't be separated from her mum.

The contact centre are saying that if my ex positively promoted contact like cafcass asked then things would improve, they don't want me to be in supervised contact because it's not needed. They agree with me that my daughter is being isolated and that the ex is making contact difficult.

So I'm in the position where I'm showing I'm in no way a danger to my daughter and saying my daughter is isolated and I am being alienated and the problem is coming from the ex with the contact centre backing me up on it all.

And the ex being backed up with cafcass in believing that it's too distressing for my daughter to be away from her mum.

I could be in a position where cafcass's recomendations are contradicted by the contact centre reports...

Does anyone know how much weight the contact centre reports and opinions are over cafcass?

Cafcass are telling me that there is no problem with me and no welfare concerns but they are leaning towards stopping the contact all together! In some kind of Court ordered parental alienation!

Any tips or advice guys? I don't want to lose my little girl...

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  Court financial proceedings
Posted by: ADTR_2014 - 02-27-2018, 10:32 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (10)

My divorce is finally coming to the closing stages as we head to court to tie up the financial proceedings.

It should be fairly simple, we rented as a married couple, had no savings, no investments, I have no pension and hers is tiny as we are fairly young.

The problem seems to be that I bought a house post-separation. I didn't use any marital money (there wasn't any to use) for anything.

In the 3 years since I have purchased the house has increased in value by almost £20,000 and with the mortgage payments and deposit there is over £30k equity.

My stbx obviously sees this as money in my pocket. Last time we tried to sort finances she wanted £17k. To be clear I am riddled with debt from the marriage (i took it all on so she could focus on my boy).

When we first separated she left debt free and I was in negative equity even with the house. I don't have the monthly income to take on a loan for anywhere near what she seems to think she is entitled too. My new partner and her children live with me know in the house....so it's rather complicated and messy.

I was assured by solicitors when I bought the house that it was post-separation and my stbx would not be entitled to anything. Their stance seems to have changed now and I am losing sleep. How is it that I have worked really hard, through all of the shit she has thrown at me to pay off debt and mortgage, some months barely keeping my head above water, to now be told I might have to give her a massive lump sum for doing nothing? She doesn't even work and yet is educated with a masters degree in teaching! My son is 5 so she could work easily.....

My solicitor is also being difficult, I am trying to do as much as I can on my own, I can fill out the form E for example but she is almost telling me that I cant do it and she needs full control of the case. I wanted to keep costs down by just taking advice when I needed it. I might have to change solicitors. Thougths?

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  Experience in Occupation Order
Posted by: andynumpty - 02-26-2018, 10:34 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi, I've posted a few times on the on going situation living in the same house as my ex. She has mentioned numerous times that she is going to get me out whatever it takes! The house is in my sole name but she has a beneficial interest in it. As I fear she is going to look to get an Occupation Order to force me out, instead of trying to sort the living arrangements out, has anybody been through this situation to offer me advice. At the moment I pay the mortgage and all utility bills, we have 3 YO son together and she a 10 YO daughter.

So if she goes a head and gets an Order to force me to leave and I can't sell the house;

Who pays the mortgage ? If I still have to is that deducted from my CM payments?

How long do they last for, then after that time can I sell house then?

Can she start co-habitating with a new BF?

Or are there any other points that I need to be made aware of?


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  Just had final hearing
Posted by: Charlie7000 - 02-26-2018, 06:41 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (25)

I'll keep it short as exhausted.  Wasn't a final hearing exactly but Barrister thrashed out a good consent order, all bar two points which he then thrashed out in court.  It was a risk - if the two points thrashed out in court hadn't gone my way would have been left with an unworkable consent order. As it is had to compromise additional time to get a "lives with" both parents order.  But end result is

"Lives with" both parents - EOW,2 midweek nights, specific holiday weeks, alternate Christmases - any changes to be agreed in writing or it reverts to order, and got the school pickups back.

I have aged 10 years today! The choices were

1) Get a definite lives with both parents but no extra nights, and possibly not get school pickups back and be stuck with having to agree to umpteen swaps a year (unless Barrister could get those agreed by the Judge).
2) Just go into the hearing - Barrister felt I would almost certainly get 5 nights a fortnight instead of 4 but ran the risk of not getting a "lives with" order which he felt was more important.

Took the risk on the first option and it worked. However - did not manage to get a clause saying neither parent will move further than x miles away. So ex may well decide to up and move now - will need to keep my eye on that and may have to go back to court again at the slightest whiff of a move.

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  Any way to reduce personal savings account prior to divorce?
Posted by: shambolic - 02-26-2018, 05:28 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

Hi there,

I'm sending this on behalf of a family member who was duped into a bit of a sham marriage. Non-British wife from same ethnicity made many promises etc, but once married and got her visa, it turns out she was an aggressive abusive nightmare with a complete 180. There are no children yet (although she was desparate for one), and plenty of emotional blackmail (lies about reputation to the community, fake DV allegations even though she herself is violent and pretty much every trick in the book to stay married). Been like this for 2 years.

Having seen a solicitor, he was advised that his personal savings are pretty much guaranteed to be split. (He has spent a lot on her anyway), but his house and car in his name from years before this marriage are safe).

Is there any legal way to dispose of his savings account, or reduce it prior to filing for divorce? Should he see an accountant, as while he is resigned to his fate, will an accountant know what to do better than a lawyer for this topic? She's prepared to do every trick in the book, and has a network of incredibly dirty people.

Wouldn't wish this on anyone but I did say I'd do some research and see what I can find. He thinks he's just resigned to it, but I think if he's liable to X amount he will just lose half. I am of the opinion that if he reduces X then at least he has a chance of reduction provided there is a convincing reason? (payment of debts or other liabilities, depending on what is a useful tactic).

I appreciate that the majority are dads, but difficult to find another place where there may be some empathy. This lady will stop at nothing to try to force him into making her pregnant for her own reasons.

Any advice appreciated.

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  Child Access Stopped
Posted by: marios84 - 02-26-2018, 04:39 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (17)

Up until the beginning of January I had a regular set up with my ex (never married) and my daughter (3 years old). I would have her every Wednesday and every other weekend and concerntrated blocks of time when my ex would go on holiday (she had an overseas relationship).

This was until my ex found out about my new partner and now I have been unable to see my daughter coming up to 2 months. All access was stopped, she called the CMS to get payments from me (I have always paid for my daughter, I would pay her nursery bill) she lied to the CMS and said I never have my daughter so she was able to get the full amount from me, obviously I advised them the facts however they said without a court order nothing can be done and they will have to work with that I do not have my daughter overnight. 

I went through mediation and she failed to respond, and last week the deadline was finished and I filled my c100 form off and sent it to court.

She is saying that I am only allowed supervised contact with my daughter which I cannot understand, and feel she is going to lie and character assisnate me. She is also making claims that I have been violent to her which are totally unfounded! 

Has anyone been in a similar situation or offer any advise?

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  Future House sale
Posted by: sundance_Kid - 02-26-2018, 02:37 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Just to clarify, for divorces that end where it's agreed you are entitled to a percentage upon the house being sold in the future how does that work in practically. 

Does the court order specify that once the child maint is over the house HAS to be sold?

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  Denied Contact "Again"
Posted by: RD84 - 02-26-2018, 02:29 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

I am so upset. I have given my ex half a dozen chances to allow contact with my children..and she has refused yet again. Claiming she is not ready to permit contact until she gets legal advice. Gave her 2 weeks, she needed more time so I gave another 2. I am so mad. She doesn't care whatsoever about the childrens needs or welfare, just totally selfish behaviour. I have tried multiple times to resolve this before initiating court proceedings and she has truly left me with no alternative.

Mediation failed as she refused to participate. She has even refused interim contact just to be spiteful. Thankfully she has been unable to claim DV or get restraining order as I've been civil and polite despite all of her provocations. I know how that game is played. This waiting is killing me. Not seen kids since beginning of September. I am just stunned that a person I made 2 kids with out of love, has transformed into a giant C (and I don't mean cancer). Ah. Rant over.

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