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  False accusation and stopped seeing children
Posted by: Tini1212 - 05-16-2018, 05:03 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

I'm actually posting this on behalf of my friend as he is not very tech savvy. There are two factors in this query.

His ex-wife has accused him of domestic abuse and stopped him seeing the children. His girlfriend is pregnant and is sleeping with someone else who is sending him messages and pictures of them together.

He does have a record with the police, but he has never been violent towards his family.

He works so i'm presuming he cannot get legal aid? What are his options?

Thank you

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  Help with Unreasonable Ex
Posted by: Abused_One_1974 - 05-16-2018, 04:08 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Hi All,

Wonder if someone can help me and shed some light on what I should do next! Its a long post!

My ex ran off with another guy back in February leaving me with her son and our son for the weekend after a red eye flight back from the US. She just announced it was over and walked out! Great eh.

She finally came back on the Monday, on the Tuesday she announced she had been with this guy all weekend. It caused me to have a break down. I left the house to go and get some space and get me head straight.

We were never married, but were together 6 years.

I moved in with my brother, anyhow three days after me moving out I drove past the house and there was a BMW on the driveway, I went in the our house (joint mortgage) as she was out and the fridge was full of beer and food. I knew this car belonged to this other guy. Anyhow she was using my car and I was running around in hers. So after seeing the car I made a call to her and told her I was taking my car back and was only going to pay 1/2 the mortgage and bills from now on. Initially I was paying everything and I was wondering why there were so many huge bills from the supermarket now I know why.

The next morning I was due to collect my son, she handed me my son, and I started to go upstairs to get some socks. She stood at the top of the stairs to stop me, and I pointed out it was my house as well and I could go where I wanted. The next thing she tells me I can no longer have our son as it was not arranged.

A few days go by, and I get a call from the police about a voluntary interview, which turned out she was accusing me of ABH. There was an incident back in 2015 when she had really wound me up that I grabbed her wrists to restrain her and try and calm her down. She never reported it but kept threatening it. Anyhow the police dropped the case as it was common assault rather than ABH.

I then got a summons for court for an anti-mollestation order, she tried a without notice order but the courts turned it down. So I went to court with my legal representation, the court told my ex that her 24 pages of evidence was rubbish and that she could pursue it further but it would be in 6 months and she was likely to loose. Anyhow we made an agreement on days for me to see our son.

Every Wednesday - Pickup from nursery drop back at nursery the next morning.
Every other Fri/Sat dropping him back at the house for 17.30.

So three weeks later, she is asking me about paying nursery fees again, even getting the nursery to email me as he is no longer going to nursery as we cannot afford it. When we were together we could not afford nursery with the mortgage / bills etc. As soon as we split she has put him into nursery and he loves it.

However she wants me to pay half the nursery fees which ~ £700 each. She is not working and looking for a job. I am paying half the mortgage for a house I don't live in and not allowed to access as the order says I cannot go on the driveway, and the ex has illegally changed the locks. I am also paying rental on my flat that I have moved into. I keep telling her I have no more money.

I am paying the CMS and 1/2 the mortgage. So she has now taken to breaking the order and with holding me from my son and making the decision I can see him twice a month, she has done this on various times when she is not getting anywhere and also did this to her Ex Husband all the time with their son.

I have an agreement from the court regarding the child care arrangements, but it says 'In the Interim and without prejudice to any Children Act 1989 application that either party may make'

Now she has just decided that she can change that order by way of an email to me? Hardly seems fair if she can do this what is the point of an order? All she is interested in is money and not our son seeing me.

So after all that background above, I want to get a proper Child Order put in place and am looking at the C100 form. Can I do this without my solicitor as the costs are just ramping up, or would I be advised to use a solicitor to get this order in place?

If it was me messing around I feel it would be a completely different story with me getting a penal notice etc.

I am sure a few of you on here have been through similar and can offer some advice.



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  Families Need Fathers
Posted by: Naive - 05-16-2018, 02:15 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (6)

Anyone a member of this charity?
Ive always just thought of them as the guys who climb buildings dressed as Batman.
Looks like its £39 a year. Not a lot but Im really bad with forgetting about subscriptions.

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  Divorce and separate savings
Posted by: OrangeJuice1 - 05-16-2018, 12:24 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (4)


I've been married 22 years and my wife told me about 15 years ago she wants separate savings accounts which I reluctantly agreed.
We both have worked over the time and use one account where we both contribute equally to pay outgoings. We have 2 kids, one that is a minor.
Over the years I saved my money whereas she hasn't. I also took on a weekend job so I can save for future. I now have accrued a lot more than the wife has. The money I saved is for my children so one day I can assist them with a house/business.

I help my children in terms of education, activities and values, whereas the wife does very little.
She recently made a large purchase, (though I asked her not to as it would impact holidays etc.) and now she wants me to make a larger contribution to the outgoings from my savings (I am no longer in work).
When I disagreed she requested a divorce and said she wants half the house and half my savings.
I am under the understanding that my savings are considered 'marital property', but in my circumstance she is being unethical.
Can the wife claim a 50% stake of my savings under this situation and would she get it ?
With regard to my child (minor), she wants Shared Custody, however I think the child should spend more time with me as I help my child more.
Any advise appreciated.

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  Overnight contact schedule
Posted by: kettleman - 05-16-2018, 11:25 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (11)

I've a court hearing soon for arranging overnight contact - Have had my daughter regularly during the day for the last 2 months and no issues at all (though I have no doubt my ex will make some issues up when it comes to the hearing)

I was planning to request for 3 nights per week, on alternate weeks, for example monday afternoon till wed morning, then the following week from friday afternoon till monday morning. 

Would this be classed as a reasonable request to the judge? I am out of the country for near 7 months of the year so this arrangment would only be in place for 5 months of the year.

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  Child injury
Posted by: kettleman - 05-16-2018, 11:20 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (2)

Have my daughter with me today, and whilst she is asleep i've noticed a scratch on her leg about an inch long, I know fine well this will be from her mothers new puppy she has gotten. Though I am unsure if its worth mentioning to social services at all, as my ex partner could say it was anything. 

Is it worth the hassle of involving SS for this? I've a court hearing soon for overnight contact arrangements and dont want to negatively impact this in any way, relations with me and my ex are non-existent since she has receive a caution from the police for harassing me. And theres not much else she can do that she already hasnt.

I don't believe my daughter is in any imminent danger but I do not want my ex-partners puppy to be scratching or hurting my child in any sense

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  12yr old, Scotland, no court action yet, where is 'home' ?
Posted by: scotsman1957 - 05-16-2018, 11:18 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

New to all this hope it's in the right section.
Background - my wife moved out 3yrs ago and took both children, I stayed in rented family home for 1yr but had to move to current smaller rented flat.
I have always had children 1 day every weekend during term time and 2.5 days during holidays, but have been refused term time school day overnight stay by wife, despite official guidelines stating both parents should be involved with homework etc.
Eldest child now 12 never wanted to move but mother never asked either child nor discussed it with them, although I knew in advance she was going.
Youngest child age 8 was more attached to mother but now states wants to live with me.
Both children say I am more fun and have more time for them as mother sits at computer with headphones on and they have to shout to attract her attention. 
They live in a flat and stay in at least half of holiday times, but I fling them outside in my garden to get fresh air and play like normal children do, and eventually they have fun and agree it was better to go outside.
Mother asks them if they want to go out but they refuse and stay home reading, using tablets, or watching television. They say it is because their mother is no fun that they opt to stay in when asked.
Last weekend matters previously discussed between children and I came to a head and I informed my wife at their flat that eldest wanted to live with me - she asked the child who very bravely stood up to their mother and told her in no uncertain terms they wanted to be with me.
Eldest brought some school clothes and stayed at my tiny flat for past few days, and will return to mother for two days, then back to me for four or five. 
The child and I want this to continue for several years, but divorce and custody matters have been instigated by wife and she says that the child's home is with her. The child wants me to be the main carer and to make decisions concerning their life, but obviously my wife has been to solicitor and perhaps been told that 95% of child's stuff is at her flat, and so that is the child's home, and I am worried that if that situation continues until custody hearings, it is more likely that my wife will retain custody.
Does anyone have any similar experiences, and would it be worth trying to get more of the child's belongings into my flat to try and show that it is in fact my flat the child wants to be their home ?
I was told by an independent specialist solicitor (Scottish Child Family Law Centre) that if the mother refuses to let the child move possessions to my place, the police can be called to obtain those items bought for the exclusive use of the child - don't want it to come to that, but negotiations with my wife are only possible when she is having it go her way.

My solicitor seems reluctant to advise me on these matters, perhaps as he doesn't want to be seen to influence impending court proceedings, but I will of course push him for a reason on my next appointment.

Sorry for the length of this, but was trying to give any details which might be of use to others with similar circumstances.

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  Accused of child abuse
Posted by: remaincalm - 05-16-2018, 10:54 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (8)

There is no evidence as it didn't happen, but ex insists a situation occurred whereby I hit our child when she was in my care. Allegedly I shouted at and berated her as well. All contact has stopped (again).

My application for a CAO is about to have its first hearing, so I'm not surprised she's resorted to these magnificent lies, but I wondered how Cafcass will feel about it? What can I expect from these allegations?

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  Child In need plan
Posted by: knigh7 - 05-16-2018, 09:37 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (3)


As per my story recently (http://www.separateddads.co.uk/forum/thread-5923.html)

Long story short, she was hitting my kids and was asked to leave the property, she accepted a caution for child cruelty, kids are with me.

Social workers conclude a section 47 and made a recommendation for child in need plan. Can someone shed some light on this?


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Posted by: Charlie7000 - 05-15-2018, 07:47 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (6)

Had quite a few of these by email recently, from the sublime, to the ridiculous but all particularly unpleasant telling me son has complained about this or that.  She takes information she knows about my home and says son has complained about it and it's not a fit place for a child (she had social services inspect it last year).  As we are now well past the court hearing I assume she is still trying to make up some kind of welfare issues as a reason to change things again.

The one today accuses me of causing injuries to son by being too rough playing football and that I failed to get medical treatment.  He apparently has an injured leg and an injured hand (didn't have any injuries this morning when I took him to school!).

Not sure what to do about this as there have been some pretty vicious emails recently.  Ignore?  Do something?

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