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  CMS need letter re: maintenance paid for my other child
Posted by: PapaDelta - 09-26-2016, 02:00 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi all,

I'm new here so apologies if I am covering something that has already been covered.

In short, CMS (who are useless) have been in touch regarding maintenance for my daughter with my ex-partner. I have disputed the amount (three times now) as I have a son from a former marriage and pay maintenance directly to his mother so the amount to ex-partner needs adjusting. The CMS have said I need to write to them to confirm that is the case and both my ex-wife and I need to sign it. I asked if they have wording, a template or a form and they were less than helpful. I therefore wondered if anyone has had to do this and, if so, what info you need to include in the letter?

As an aside, I had a bit of a battle with the CMS (who are total nincompoops) as they wanted to put me on "Collect & Pay" (with its jolly old 20% charge!) because I hadn't responded to their letters quickly enough. I pointed out that they had sent their letters to my ex-wife's address which I haven't lived at for some years and I was lucky to have got the letters at all! They said that as I had eventually responded to the letters (even though they were sent to the wrong address), they were within their rights to put me on "C&P". Talk about crazy logic! Anyway, I managed to find someone who seemed to have a bit of sense about them and pointed out that their thinking and process was flawed. She didn't exactly agree but has finally (after many calls and promises of letters from them which never materialsed) managed to get the "C&P" scrapped (and a "deductions from wages" which kicked in as I was in dispute with them over the whole process etc) in order to pay directly! The fact that they wont tell me how much I need to pay until they have the letter (mentioned above) is another frustration but hey ho.

The irony of the situation is that if they had sorted this all out correctly in the first place 1) it would have saved loads of the CMS and my time 2) I'd be paying maintenance now and everyone would be happy!

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  what really includes child maintenance
Posted by: italiandad - 09-26-2016, 10:38 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)

Hi all,
I was told,when I opened the case with the CMS, that the paying parent pays the amount worked out by the CMS and the receiving parent organise that money for the kids i.e: uniforms, school meals, after school activities, and so on.
Today ex told me that I have to pay for the school meals and after school activities for the days the kids are with me (we agreed 60%  kids with ex-40% kids with me overnight). My understanding is that it is not according to my first conversation with CMS when I opened the case. Speaking to them this morning it seems that this is something we should arrange between us, as they (CMS) could not force the receiving parent to pay for things like school meals the days the kids are with me (same for after school club)
Is there a clear legislation on this?

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  Pension Contributions
Posted by: Bobstar - 09-25-2016, 07:25 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)


Just though I would share my recent experience with CMS, hoping that it may help others?!

My child maintenance has recently migrated from CSA to the CMS scheme. I was asked if I paid a pension, which I replied "I did". Then I was asked "what sort of pension it was?" "Erm I don't know" , I replied. "Well, do you pay it or is it sorted out by your company you work for?" "Its sorted by payroll", I answered. "Thats probably an occupational pension then they replied". Sounded reasonable at the time!! I don't know a lot about pensions as some pay guess. 

To try and cut a long story short, I noticed that when they wrote to me with payment details that my gross pay (which they had got from HRMC) included my pension contributions and hence the contributions were included within the calclations for Child maintenence. I pointed this out when I rang them to which they said that i need to sort that out with HMRC, there is nothing  they can do; they must use the figure from HRMC. Bit of a 'computer says no' sort of attitude, I felt.

Anyway the short story is my pension is 'relief at source' and is a group personal pension which is paid to the pension scheme by our payroll people after it has been taxed. I would not have posted this, except the lady from CMS said she had never done a calculation for a personal pension (perhaps it was her first day but this statment just seemed strange). 

Anyway, my advice is, if on your pension statement it has 'tax relief' payments shown, then your statement should be sent in to CMS to be deducted from your gross amount. If your work sorts out your pension this does not mean it is an occupational pension.

PS Is it just my experience or are CMS worse than CSA!!

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  how to cope with denied access on no grounds
Posted by: mazdad of two - 09-25-2016, 11:53 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

my ex has cut all contact and wont give me what grounds. ive started through the motions and will be taking her to court. i get the feeling that she will be going down the violent and abusive route but im positive it will be dissmissed quickly............ meanwhile im struggling to cope with not spending the important time with my kids and not seeing thier development. im heartbroken and wrecked and just miss my children. any help as to how to cope and keep myself together? im throwing up at work through stress, not sleeping and getting nose bleeds randomly aswell as feeling faint most of the time. this hasnt been in the best interests of my children but more a way to hurt me.

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  Rights to Children's medical information & appointments etc
Posted by: D4773N - 09-24-2016, 11:55 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (2)

Hi all.

This is my first post on this fantastic forum which has been a very helpful source of information for me.

Bit of background info:

I have a 6yo son & 2yo daughter. Been seperated from their mother for over 12 months. We weren't married. I have P.R. for both children. We have been to mediation to organise access etc but have not been to court so there are no legally binding orders in place & their residency with their mother is an informal agreement which i approve of. To clarify, there is no residency order in place.
My relationship with their mother is terse to say the least & there are ongoing niggly arguments that are rooted in the very messy seperation as she was unfaithful.

I have decent access to them which is 1 midweek stop over & 1 weekend stopover per week. Of course this is never enough but when i read these boards i realise i probably shouldn't grumble.

The issue i have is my 2 year old daughter is having a minor eye operation in 6 days time. My ex has decided that all medical issues are hers & hers only responsibility & as long as she keeps me casually updated i have no right to be present at my daughter's operation or indeed any of both my children's medical appointments.
It goes without saying I want to be present at any operation, no matter how minor, any of my children have. What Father wouldn't?

She gets all the NHS & GP correspondence & is refusing to tell me the time or which hospital the operation is going to be at as she doesn't want me to attend because, basically, we don't get on.

Who do i contact to get this information? What are my rights? Am I right in thinking i have absolute equal rights as her to be there? The op is actually taking place in my mediated allotted contact time. Do i approach my daughters GP or an NHS phone line? Basically I don't know where to start. My ex has their birth certificates. I feel i need to be there mainly for my little girl but also if i'm not this may set a precedent for the future & this is unacceptable to me.

Apologies for the rambling first post.

If there is anybody who could reliably point me in the right direction where to start as time is of the essence as the op is in 6 days, then i would be very grateful.

If any more info is needed please do ask. Many thanks in advance.

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  I still really need some help.
Posted by: Benn131 - 09-24-2016, 12:23 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (2)

A few months back I posted a thread titled I really need some help.

I still have no idea what to do and the situation is only getting worse.

My court order's specifically stated that I am totally have a direct mobile phone number to my ex on which I can contact her and request information on my son's wellbeing. This has never been provided.

I have attempted several times through herself and her mother, to send messages via social media, to gain the information. Freinds have also tried on my behalf. I have seen all messages and they are perfectly acceptable.

The only response I have had is a visit from police telling me that I am to make no more contact or I will be arrested for harassment, I produced court order and was told that they were going to ignore the very live and active order and I was to follow their instructions and not try to gain any information on my son, any more attempts by me or associates will result in my arrest. They then added that they were family freinds, surely this is completely illegal, even to phone and visit me to intimidate me into not gaining information about my son and these officers should be losing their jobs as they are well aware of a court order stating I am allowed that info whenever requested and this is a civil matter.

I also have photographic evidence of her leaving my son in the care of 2 people who are less than appropriate.

The first woman lives with her brother who happens to be a registered sex offender for crimes involving a minor.

The second woman has been convicted of many violent crimes, including but not limited to, assaulting the father or her son repeatedly with a hammer whilst forcing her children out watch her do it.

I am beyond concerned and if something doesn't give soon I am going to end up doing something stupid.

I have paid for my son for nearly 8 years and for no other reason than I am not convenient I have not seen him for 6 years.

He has a complete father son relationship with a man she has not been with for nearly 6 years. He has the contact hours I was awarded in court. This man is nothing to my son but pretends to be his dad.

I am very close to a breakdown.

Please help.

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  Harassment from my ex partner
Posted by: elmarveloso - 09-23-2016, 10:00 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

Dear All

I am separated from my partner since 2014. It was a very toxic relationship and on two occasions over a 3 yr relationship we both assaulted each other, me pushing her, and her slapping me across the face.

She new I was planning to leave her and she reported me to the police and long story short I was convicted of domestic abuse. It was her word against mine, no bruising and the police were not interested that she had assaulted me. I did not take action against her as I was so stressed. She said she was going to ruin my life and she is doing a good job.

I no longer see my step sons that I brought up.
What I would like advise is since 2014 my ex has contacted over 3 employers by telephone and made malicious statements including my conviction for domestic violence. I have lost 3 jobs and all three employers have said her voice would carry she sounded malicious etc.

I made two complaints to the police, The first time they said they would telephone her and the second time they wet to see her. I now want to take civil action for harassment and deformation of character  and to get a harassment order or something similar.

Do I have a case. I am so afraid and my mental health is seriously being affected. She seems to be a very convincing women but I cannot continue living like this anymore. I have done my punishment, she has left me in 27,000 of debt, my careers is ruined and I am afraid to get another job for her to ruin it.

I would appreciate any advice please.

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Posted by: rightrich1 - 09-23-2016, 07:48 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

SorryI have a million questions at the moment, that all seem tiny details but of course are important bits of bigger picture.

To keep it short, there were allegations of domestic violenceand apparently contact should be supervised and probably in a contact centre. Ex says centres are expensive and notnice places and has offered to bring our children, with her, to a public place that is safe, instead, if we can organise a safe and fair arrangement.

This sounds nicer to me too, but would the courts allow this if there has been DV or allegations?

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  Do I have the right to be told?
Posted by: Sadman2016 - 09-23-2016, 05:20 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

I suspect my ex is or has been seeing someone else for some time now.  I am only able to see my son at the moment via SS's supervised contact due to false allegations made by ex.  My ex is refusing to communicate so I have to communicate via the SW on case.   The fact that she is seeing someone else has a bearing on her outrageous behaviour in regards to what she has done to me and in turn my son. 

 I'm concerned as to who this might be and what kind of a person they may be. As father with parental responsibility do I have a right to ask the SW to confirm my ex's current relationship status and also ask for the name of any person she may be having a relationship with and therefore coming into contact with my child?

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  Stopping Payments
Posted by: byrondjones - 09-23-2016, 06:55 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (1)

Hi Guys

I am a bit unsure if this is the right thing to do and it could land me in trouble.

I have my children 3 times one week and 4 times the next week over night so it alternates to make things equal, some times it could be the odd night more.

I have been paying my ex £100 a month but as we have  a 50/50 split if I stopped paying her would I be wrong to do so?

Many Thanks


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