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Question Switching between modes. Loving father and working guy
Posted by: Tamagoto - 03-19-2018, 05:52 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (1)

Hi all - I'm having a real problem with the switch between modes, I used to be a fully involved, daily parent, and now I go to not having them for a week, then a full weekend, then two days off, then two days on, then back to the week without them.

I find it takes me ages to settle down with them sometimes, I cannot flip the switch into being that full time parent. And TBH when they leave, I find it hard to switch back!

Do you know what I mean?

Any advice?


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  Chances of increased access ?
Posted by: FlogginAdeadHorse - 03-19-2018, 04:03 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

Hi All, 

Just a quick one... in all your opinions...

What are the chances that I will be granted increased access?

Last October after the spiteful ex stopped me see my daughter for 4 months I took her to court (was my only way of seeing my little one), I was granted Every other saturday night and Every wednesday eve (3pm - 7pm), the contact increases this weekend to every other Friday& Saturday night but the wednesdays stay the same. 

My daughter continually says that she wants to stay over on a wednesday and to not be taken home at 7pm. 

I was wondering of any of you could give any experinece on the courts increasing my access to the wednesday being an over night stay aswell? 

My ex started letting me see my little one every other monday but as soon as she found out I had a new GF she has stopped this by saying that my daughter doesnt want to see me (Which I totally disbelieve!) 

any thoughts ? 


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  Court fee payment URGENT
Posted by: Tigre - 03-19-2018, 01:07 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

Where do I actually pay the court fee? I called the court but it refers to the website and no person to speak to. Online I can see that its payable by cheque, which I don't have, or at the court which is very far away from me and Id have to lose a day of work which I cant afford. 
Any way to pay by postal service when you go to the post and pay there? Or any other way.

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Posted by: ASHLEY66 - 03-19-2018, 12:47 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)


I would really be grateful to have a 'dads' point of view on this situation. The father of my 15yr old daughter is refusing to collect her for his contact (one weekend per month) He wants me to do all the travelling as we were the ones who moved 1.5 hours away. I already do far more than 50% which I do not mind but think doing 100% is too much ... am I wrong? ... Advice please Smile

He refuses to communicate with me so has messaged this to our daughter ....

Hi k***. I'll come and get you Friday but as I've said to you before darling and please trust me that I know this isn't your fault but I'm really not happy about doing that journey to be honest. It wasn't me that moved you so far away, so I'm really not happy with having to do a 3 - 4 hour journey on my day off.
Especially considering your mother said to everyone that she would do the journey whenever you wanted to come up to see me, J*** and L****!! 
I'll have to come and get you between 9 - 9.30am on the Friday because I don't want to get stuck in bank holiday traffic for hours and because we've arranged a day out to Portsmouth on the Sunday, I'd like you picked up no earlier than 7pm. It's not fair to everyone else coming out, that their day is cut short. 
If your mother can't do that, considering I'm coming down to collect you yet again, then it's probably best we leave it completely and do something another time. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I'm not prepared to keep getting mugged off by your mother because she knows that I miss seeing you and I'll just keep doing the journey!! 
I'm honestly, honestly not having a go at you k*** but I think we need a big talk when your down. Your being caught in the middle of this yet again and it's really not fair to you, so next time you're down, we need to properly sort this situation out once and for all. 
Let me know what you want to do. 
Love you loads and loads. [Image: 1f61a.png]?xxxxxxxxx[Image: 2764.png]

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  Concerning message
Posted by: Daddywidow - 03-19-2018, 12:11 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - No Replies

Hello again all.

I received a very concerning message from my Ex partner's neighbour this morning informing me of my exs plans.

There has been a host of accusations and lies including asking my daughter to play up when she returns to her mum, She has said she wishes I would disappear and that having our daughter with me was a mistake and that she wishes she belonged to her new partner in front of our daughter. She is moving out of the city next week and does not want me to know where she is going. She is planning on reporting daughter's passport as lost / stolen and applying for a new one (which I know she cannot do without my consent), she is planning on taking her on holiday abroad without my consent and the neighbour was very concerned over her mental state which my ex blames on the death of her husband and me. She has her new partner respond to any emails I have sent regarding contact arrangements

I have reported the plans to HM passport office. CAB cannot advise me as they are already advising her so I am trying to get legal advice. Tempted to speak to her family members but she has also threatened me with harassment if I attempt any form of contact. 

This is her neighbour and old friend and I cannot see any reason for her to lie or exaggerate. She seems genuinely concerned. We have our first mediation appointment on Friday but this new information makes me feel like I should be taking further action. I have done everything by the book as much as possible. Initiated mediation, no threats, accusations, all contact has been in regards to our daughter until she cut off all contact. Everything has been documented.

Any advice here will be greatly appreciated as I am not sure how to use this information without drastic measures (social services etc). please help.

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  Need advice
Posted by: beehive84 - 03-19-2018, 09:28 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (21)

I had to escape my home last night for fear of being threatened and from an aggressive household because I won't blindly sign a contract on behalf of myself, my wife and her parents to state they are entitled to a percentage of any house sale 

The marriage has clearly broken down but I felt I had to escape as I felt pressured to sign this contract and then they will force me out of my own home. 

I have rang the police to log an incident to report I feel I am being intimidated and fear I'll be hit with false allegations. 

Any advice?

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  Text messages as proof in Court
Posted by: SF79 - 03-18-2018, 09:18 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (11)

Hi All,

Just need a bit of advice if anyone has relied on text messages in court.

My ex is claiming that she's a victim of domestic violence. It took her a year until our final hearing to raise these allegations and she's gone for the full house (Physical, Emotional & Financial). The magistrates asked for a fact finding and I'm currently in the process of appealing this due to the fact these allegations weren't made until a year after separation and I've had access (in court orders) for the last year. I have the following information on text messages from her:

1. Asking me to go back to her for approx. 11 months after separation.
2. Speaking about our relationship in glowing terms as though there was nothing wrong with it (there was loads wrong with it. She's an absolute b*tch!)
3. 13 instances where she's asked me to come to the house for pickup rather than a public place she asked for in court.
4. Multiple instances of her asking me to have the kids on days which I wasn't allocated by the court (basically so she can socialise). I've happily had them on these days.
5. Instances of her ridiculing me publicly on social media (I have all the screenshots).

I've provided all these to CAFCASS and in my S7 report, CAFCASS said I wasn't being unreasonable with 50/50 access. When I get to court for the final hearing, it seems that they are now not sure about this. I honestly feel that I can provide (I will continue to provide this proof) all this information and it doesn't count for sh*t! Yet she claims I've knocked her about and it must be a fact!

Has anybody else had a similar experience?


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  Spouse Visa / Divorce Imminent - Advice Pls
Posted by: mrmajestic - 03-18-2018, 08:44 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

Hi All,

First time posting here. I am a UK citizen, my wife has lived in the UK with me and our first child (born in 2012 outside the EU) since 2015 on a spouse visa that will expire this year in July. Our 2nd child was born in the UK March 2016.

She is demanding a divorce, that we separate, that I pay for her rent and/or that she be allowed to take our daughters and move back to Israel (which is where we met originally and the place of birth of our 1st child).

Both kids are British citizens.

I have seen a lawyer in London who advised me that my wife doesn't have any right to leave the country with our kids without my consent. Although now I read here that in fact she could apply for that consent from a court and might get it... Our children are now 2 and 6, she is still breast feeding the 2 year old.

Right now we are renting a house in N London.  I lost my job in Dec last year and trying to start a new business.  I tell her that we should just extend her spouse visa and focus on raising our kids until she has established herself in London and can afford to get her own place.  However, she is determined to leave me and either take our kids with her (to a place I am supposed to rent in London) or go back to Israel with them and live there.

Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been in a similar position and what my best options are to deal with this.


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  Man wins damages re: Alienation
Posted by: Hazy - 03-18-2018, 02:22 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (3)


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  CAFCASS first call
Posted by: Rjc - 03-18-2018, 02:11 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (3)

Can anyone please post what the first call with CAFCASS usually involves. Thanks.

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