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  Pls I need advise :-(
Posted by: yuri1003 - 01-09-2019, 05:12 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (2)

Pls advise?

Hello all, I am going through a divorce at the moment and we have 2 kids, my boy is 4 and my daughter is 7. I filed the divorce papers last November and my STBX is filing for a seperation agreement to finalise financial settlements between us and I can move out of the house for good ( i cant wait, she had been very abusive towards me both verbally and physically ) we also agreed on 50-50 child arrangement and it will be on the seperation agreement. Now my concern is my daughter, her and my ex “doesnt really get on very well”and I have concerns when i leave the house for good that her attitude towards my lil girl will continue on and possibly get worst. I have no concerns in regards to my lil boy as she favors him over my daughter (bless him). Her reason was as she put it, me and my daughter are alike. There are no order in place but Im thinking of an arrangement where I get to keep my daughter and she gets to keep my boy and on weekends we alternate them where my daughter stays with her with my boy and the following weekend will be my turn with both of my lovely children. (And even the thought of having my daughter alone with her for the weekend, scares me) I know its not ideal situation to seperate the kids, and it will be near impossible for the courts to agree to it (but maybe an arrangement between me and the ex can work that out) i dont want to and I am torn but its the only solution I can think of at the moment to look after my daughter. My EX started getting really agressive towards me and my little girl since I filed for the divorce and desperately trying to kick me out of the house (which she owns) I have video and audio evidence of how abusive she is towards me. Another option is Ill stick to the original plan only if she agrees to get her anger issue sorted out. I dont know what to do, please advise. My head feels like its going to explode any minute now. Thank you kindly!

Ps, im not doing this out of spite and before the marriage broke down, she was a wonderful mother to both of them but something snap and the 180 turn started. Shes 38 and her transformation is unreal, not the same person I knew 7mos ago.

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  She won't part with ANYTHING!
Posted by: Chester Copperpot - 01-09-2019, 02:05 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (7)

hi all..

I'm still living at the family home and she wants me out.  I'm refusing to leave without any fixed child arrangements and some finance agreement.

She is currently trying all sorts of different things, secretly filming me, telling people bullsh*t trying to give me a bad name and she has also threated the DA card for which she has no evidence.

We also have a touring caravan worth approx. 5k.  I got a 4k loan for it in September last year (loan is currently at £2200) and we had 1k in savings.  I suggested selling this and she point blankley refused and said she doesn't want to get rid of anything. 

What she wants:

Me to leave the house with just my personal belongings.
Her lifestyle to remain exactly the same.
Not a single item to be removed from the house.
Not a single asset to be sold.


What I want:

Fair child arrangements that suit us both.
Fair financial arrangements that suit us both
Our joint debt cleared.
Disposable assets sold to clear loan.


Is she bonkers or is what she wants likely to happen? 
I would literally leave with nothing BUT a debt for a caravan that she refuses to sell !?!?!  What the hell!?

I'm really at my wits end with this.

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  Advice please
Posted by: dru0618 - 01-09-2019, 08:48 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (8)

Advice please

Quick back story - I separated 7 months ago and 90% of the time it's been amicable. I moved out of family home and in with parents and have had the kids every weekend stay with me

She doesn't like my parents and vice versa and they have argued over the last 7 months. Nothing major, just a strong dislike. On NYE she wanted me to have my youngest son stay last minute and my mum refused. Which I know is wrong but she was so angry the way she treats her (literally wouldn't allow the children to be with her unless I was there purely down to hate)  that she saw it as helping her out. Putting aside the issue my mum had and the fact it was petty saying no, my soon to be ex wife has now in writing said the children can never set foot in my parents house nor can they even be in the same building as them. Se has listed on email the reasons and they are all pathetic in the grand scheme. My kids love my parents and have had a relationship with them weekly since birth. And now nothing. I now can't have my kids stay with me overnight and my parents can't see them except factime. My 4 year old doesn't know what's going on. 

This has obviously come as a real blow to us all and my parents are devastated. I have met a solicitor who says I can take this to family court but could cost tens of thousands if it goes all the way. I have asked her for mediation and she said no and I just wanted to know if anyone had similar experience and could share advice. 

The last point is her dad has A LOT of money and I'm scared about representing myself as a cheaper option and taking on her solicitor who will no doubt be one of the best. 

Thoughts/advice welcome.

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  Police and CS procedures after child hurt in questionable circumstances
Posted by: Mikexx - 01-08-2019, 11:02 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

Some months ago my 4 year daughter was hurt. The police were informed and they and a Social Worker attended the mother and child. I now have Parental Responsibility which means I am now privy to what CS have done, which is pretty much nothing.

When I was talking to the current Social Worker, they said my daughter should have been interviewed after the initial complaint, something that simply didn't happen from the mother persuading the authorities that nothing sinister had happened.

A month later and some stories that didn't add up my daughter was placed on the at risk register and there are now regular visits. In short the mother is protecting a third party.

Can anyone let me know the sequence of events that should have happened. The new SW used terms I don't recall.

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  advice needed please
Posted by: apptech - 01-08-2019, 08:02 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

Hello 
I need some advice the ex is now refusing me to have access to my children, they is a court order in place from 2106 saying that i have the children every other weekend from friday 6pm to sunday 6pm.. which she has always broke in 2017 i had my boy from april till sept 6 days a week as she didnt want him, then had to pick my daughter up some weeks from wednesday night the next thursday night, take them both to school etc then return sunday only to have her call again from 12pm on monday to say come get your son, all last year same thing i have the kids from one weekend to 3 weeks or more at a time, when i questioned her and i said it about time you had the children this coming weekend as i had them every weekend for last 2 months and i have to work she would kick up fuss and say you never want your kids always putting work first, so i would cancel jobs so i could still have my kids which i didn't mind.. But now she got yet another new boyfriend 6th this year, started off that i had to have the kids every weekend as new bf dont like my son as he looks like me, and he i wants her not the kids as they in his way, just before xmas she started getting to be an asre and blocked me form whats app and stoppped me from talking to my kids which i done daily, i was allowed to see them for 2hrs xmas eve and since then i now not allowed to see them or contact them, then find out today she getting an anti molestation order placed on me for no reason,all cos i spoke to her regarding concerns i had over her new bf as the kids said he hit mummy and them, and that other people who know him have told me he a woman beater and his last partner run to scotland for her own saftey, after i said to her be careful for both herself and the kids, i now been blocked on everything and not allowed to see my kids 
so where do i go from here ?

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  Any experience with arbitration?
Posted by: seeker - 01-08-2019, 06:36 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

Hello dads,

I was wondering whether anyone here went through arbitration?

I am considering this option as the courts are extremely slow these days, but I am quite put off by the prospect of not being able to appeal if I feel the decision from the arbitrator is unfair on me.

I would be glad to hear about your experiences.

Many thanks in advance

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  Family Court Liverpool
Posted by: Tom_W88 - 01-08-2019, 01:21 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (3)

Afternoon all,

After replying to my wife's divorce paperwork finally last month.

Just wondering do we get an acknowledgement from the court for my reply?

Every time I call them, theirs always queues on the phone 50 deep. 

No chance I can get hold of someone on a lunch time.

Any help be great please.

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  im having this to deal with now any body else?
Posted by: avadad - 01-07-2019, 06:38 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (11)

hi, im having issues with my ex, as some will no its been hell, and i only get 8 hours every two weeks with baby, whos now 3,been in the cout process over two years (, contact order i have now, even tho not much of one,anyway   baby is happy when she settles down, after crying after leaving her mother, as she enters house in tears????? after 3 party handover, we have a contact book, and in it should say , info about what baby eats ect, but ex is so so nasty, shes saying directly in book to me, about her our baby saying to her half brother that i dont like daddy me???????????? and ive never ever done any thing wrong, with my baby what so ever and try  to be the best dad in my limited time, the ex continues to be very very bitter, very, any way she can to hurt me, and my fear is that she will turn baby against me,, all thro the court process, the supervised contact, suported contact, contact centers, court dates, is all nothing if she can and will try this and its just no good for the child,mother wants me gone putting it simply and. what with my personal issues i have had in mind to walk, then i think of my girl and sob,, for i cannot leave her,  as she may not want me in ..... years, mindwashed by my ex,,, i dont want this ever hurting her, she is my world, so im lost and need advice. i must say this foram is a gift 2 us dads, keep it up things must change,, sooooon, i hope, thanks for reading, and please help if u can,

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  Help - Residence Order
Posted by: Elwood Blues - 01-07-2019, 01:17 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (21)

Over the last 12 months my ex has taken numerous over doses, self harmed, and expressed intention that she doesn't want to be alive. This is always after consuming alcohol. She's on anti depressants, along with a host of other meds, including stuff to try and suppress her alcoholism. Social services have been referred numerous times after she's hospitalised herself during these episodes. Every time they've closed the case with no further action required, as they are satisfied that I am there to step in and take charge of the kids when this happens. And so far, she's only taken the overdoses whilst the kids were already in my care. We have shared care of the kids, although nothing formalised, no court orders or anything like that. I generally have them around 3 nights per week (more in school holidays). So the kids are used to living with either of us, and they've come to see Mum's behaviour as almost normal.

She was taken into hospital by ambulance about 10 days ago, supposedly for a genuine problem with her blood sugars (she's insulin dependent diabetic). I received a slightly garbled message from emergency social services to let me know that she was in hospital, and to collect the kids from her friend asap (this time the kids were in my ex's care). When she came out of hospital, ex swore blind that it was all just a legit issue with her blood sugars and not anything intentional.  Her friends backed her up (now seems they were covering up). I know for a fact that she had been drinking quite a bit, which she hasn't denied.

A social worker (who has been involved in previous cases and knows the family well) phoned me this morning saying that the hospital have now told them that my ex overdosed on a cocktail of medications, and was in a bad way mentally when admitted to hospital. Social services are now saying that they need me to take full time care of the kids and not to return them into the care of my ex (a total turn around from what they've said previously).

Is this good enough grounds to request an emergency residence order? Is it worth applying myself or should I really enlist legal assistance? Previous legal advice was that I had no hope in a custody battle because social services were not advising the kids be taken away from their mother, to save my money and concentrate on getting along with my ex (their exact words!). Obviously recent events change this completely. Unfortunately, my ex will qualify for legal aid (due to a minor domestic incident between us years ago), so if I try and do it myself I know I'll be up against her with proper legal representation.

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  ex attempting to change alternate weekends
Posted by: dad2000 - 01-07-2019, 11:55 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (8)

hi,

I've had the same arrangement with my ex for 2 years.

I have my son:

week 1: Mon, Weds, Fri, Sat, Sunday.
week 2: Tues, Thursday, Sunday.

(repeats throughout the year).

I know exactly when I'm having my son and so does he, I've planned out 2019 in my diary so I don't agree to things I can't do as I have my son.

Now my ex has messaged today saying this weekend is her weekend - which it isn't - and won't budge.

I've even taken a picture of my diary which shows all the weekends in 2018 where I've had my son & how 2019 is planned out, and how this weekend is hers.

she is saying it's not my weekend, and things have been reset due to xmas holidays.

I've told her she can't change things without discussing with me first but she is just blanking me now.

this problem first came up in early 2017 as she kept changing weekends, and then we both agreed to the above plan, until now.....

any advice as to where to go with this?

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