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  need advice
Posted by: Grand1987 - 10-10-2018, 04:01 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

This is my first post because up until today me and the ex have had a fine working agreement
I have a son with her aged 2 and she has a daughter who is 5 who I have raised as my own since she was 14 months I am the only dad she has ever known and according to her I am her father
I lived with them in Essex for 2 years but then the relationship broke down so had to move back to Norwich
We had a agreement that I would see them on weekends as they have school Monday to Friday
and I had been staying at my ex's sleeping on blow up bed on her living room floor when I have the children I have always payed for my travel there and back on trains as I don't drive (she drives but says she will only drive to Norwich once a month and only 1 way)
Now that she is in a new relationship she has stated she now expects me to not only do all the traveling to see my kids but now saying I will have to pay for hotel room or other lodgings
so looking for any advice on what rights I have as a father in seeing the kids and also if I went to court would they make her as the one who drives and gets all the child benefits and so on (whiles i'm unemployed due to mental health but am looking to get back into work) if they would expect her to do more of the traveling to help me see the children

Also with her new partner he has a history and only back in February of this year he was sanctioned for alcohol abuse and for trying to kill himself and that's not the kind of person I want round my children so any advice about if as a father I can stop somebody like that being around my kids would be helpful

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  Mediation Advice
Posted by: Strawberry Fizz - 10-10-2018, 03:01 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

I'm posting on behalf of my partner and we're looking for some advice.
 
He had his first mediation session with his ex last week which was quite productive and they managed to agree on a few things but are stuck on when she goes back to work in the new year.
 
She wants my DP to have DD one day every weekend whilst she is at work but DP would rather keep things as they always have been. She has said to him he doesn't want to have her every Sat cos of his social life, which is not the case at all,, he’s out at work 14 hours a day and EOW is the only time he has to do all of his life admin jobs and he is entitled to time on his own.

When she started work 2 years ago she wanted my DP to change his working hours to accommodate her working in the week, he didn’t do this but did change to have his DD 3 nights a week. She had another baby last month and has been on maternity leave for a while and during this time she has cut down him having her to 1 night every 2 weeks which means he has gone 2 weeks without seeing her at times.

He’s had to fight in mediation to go back to 1 night every week as she says DD is unsettled due to the new baby but he thinks routine is even more key if she is unsettled and it’s good for her to spend time with her Daddy.

She is also insisting that when DP has DD he is not allowed to ask his parents to babysit, if for example we had something planned. She has form for trying to control what he does when he has DD but things had seemed to have settled down but it seems that she is still of the opinion that she has a say in what he does on his time with DD.

Obviously it is going to impact on our time together as well which isn’t an ideal situation and we are due to move in together soon so I want to support him and have suggested a couple of compromises but then I keep thinking he should be firm with his ex and insist it isn’t for him to accommodate the fact that she has another child and can only work weekends. It doesn’t seem right either that she thinks she can chose what he does with DD in the time has with her, she very often asks DPs parents to have DD and my DP doesn’t know about it.

 
The main thing is making sure his DD is settled and in a routine, EX has said to him about DD being unsettled going to his in the week but there is no mention of her being unsettled when she's going every Saturday. If her working hours change again then they are going to be back to square one as she will expect him to fall in line with her working hours and that's not fair on DD or him.

Does anyone have any advice? 
If they can’t agree on the best way to move forward in mediation what are the next steps?

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  Confused About What I Even Want Now
Posted by: Living Bate - 10-10-2018, 11:25 AM - Forum: New Partners, Relationships - Replies (12)

From my early twenties I had an average of relationship a year....normally lasting about a year, sometimes less sometimes a bit more......

I was working out what I wanted from a woman I guess.....bedroom antics were important in all of them, some more than others.....some were with girls I felt I had a lot in common with, some I felt worked because opposites attract....sometimes the L word was used, sometimes it wasn't......some were heavily sociable - going to events together with friends and stuff.....some were more recluse and romantic....some were clearly well experienced in the bedroom, some not so much.......etc...

anyway....

eventually I found someone I thought was marriage material....she was cute and bubbly, we had a lot in common, the sex was acceptable...I could see us growing old together.....we made big commitments.....

now i'm posting on here because she has ruined my life.....

i don't even know what I want from a woman anymore......I thought I had it sussed.....

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  World Mental Health Day
Posted by: invisibleintellectual - 10-10-2018, 06:12 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (1)

Hi

Today is World Mental Health Day ..... and I know a lot of us on here are struggling .... don't suffer alone ... there are people out there that do give a shit.

If you are struggling .... please reach out and get help ..... even if it's just from me .... I will do whatever I can

I am a survivor of mental health so know what it's like.

Thanks
Invis

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  what type order is best?
Posted by: avadad - 10-09-2018, 08:01 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

what order do you guys get as ive read consent orders? are no good?  thanks

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  final contested hearing very soon help
Posted by: avadad - 10-09-2018, 07:49 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

ok here i am after over 1 year in court, having had contact with my little one, contact centers both supervised, and supported , now im out, and court very soon ex want nothing to do with me, Sad her choice and has not agreed with any of it all along, from word go, so cafcass has done a second section 7 report and there recomending still every 2 weeks contact,  and tbh its been a big issue the bond i have is minimal because of this dam long gap, cafcass report says also that it can be built up to 1 day? still only every 2 weeks, there also recomending on overnights, baby is 2.5 years old, any help guys, please as said ex wants n000000000 contact, and her solicitor will be gunning fo my, im doing this no help on own,

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  Is this wrong?
Posted by: andy000228 - 10-09-2018, 05:27 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (5)

The ex has offered me through mediation a fair amount of contact to my 3 year old boy and as much as i want to spend this time with my boy i have to work 5-6 days a week to provide for myself and maintenance which means i can really only see him on a Sunday and when he is a little bit older overnight on a saturday every other weekend.

This thought of knowing i could see him far more than i do now is making me feel really guilty and i really miss him.

Should i feel guilty for trying to provide a living for myself so i can be in a better financial position to provide a nice environment when he does stay with me overnight in the future?

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  Advice on Breach
Posted by: benji1666 - 10-09-2018, 03:14 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (3)

Hello,

I have been to court 3 separate times they all seem to come around a 7 day holiday that is in the court order. 
The first time at court was to get an order the 2nd time was a breach but i agreed to vary it as id get more contact 3rd was this year for a specific issue case and was seen on the day. 

I agreed to move the holiday to October as my daughter has a medical condition and she wasn't stable judge agreed to it all  and set up a First hearing dispute resolution appointment for November. 

Yesterday i was told by my EX im not having contact with my daughter untill the court case in november. Her reasons are that the local hospital are not aware of my daughter's condition and the fact shes not in the area. 

I have today had an email off Great ormond street hospital stating they have sent a letter to my local hospital to make them aware of all this and they have stated that they have people who are stay with parents who are not near there local hospital and aslong as i am trained to look after her in an emergency (this i am trained) 

She is still blocking access even though i have shown all this to her.    

What do you all advise? 

cheers

Ben

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  Poor result at court today
Posted by: Bluebear - 10-09-2018, 02:38 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (1)

Had my first child welfare court appointment today after ex stopped me seeing kids for over a year but I don’t feel it went well.

Was hoping for some contact even in a contact centre but all judge ordered was a bar report which is both parents, the children and the schools being interviewed by independent solicitor. I know already my ex is going to brainwash them and have them say they don’t want to see me. I asked the judge what happens if they say they don’t want to see me as youngest is 8 and all he said was he would take their views into consideration.

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  Solicitor not responding
Posted by: Billieblob - 10-09-2018, 02:33 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

Hi,

I’m representing myself in child matters. My wife has a solicitor.

We went to court on 20th September, which went well for me.

I contacted my wife’s solicitor afterwards for confirmation of several things that the court had recited.

I didn’t receive acknowledgment nor reply to 3 emails and a letter. It’s two weeks since I wrote.

What’s my next course of action? Should I wait, complain to her solicitor’s firm?

It is very unprofessional of her not to reply, and I feel they’re not doing so because they don’t want to comply with the court instructions/recitals etc.

TiA

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