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  Judgement day !
Posted by: SeanS - 08-15-2019, 04:05 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (24)

place holder for updates from tomorrow' directions hearing ( section 7)

representing myself. Dropped off the trial bundle and 'note' to the judge yesterday, that also has the draft order. I can't wait to take the children out of contact center starting from Saturday !

want to take a moment to reflect back on the journey started exactly a year ago Aug 2018 ! And thank each and everyone who helped me to get here so far...I don't think I could have done it alone, I'm pretty sure about that.

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  Capital Gains?
Posted by: TomTom2468 - 08-14-2019, 09:33 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

Hi all

My ex and 2 children are currently living in the former family home which i have 50% share in.  I currently do not pay anything towards the house, only child maintence each month.

My ex plans to sell the home and move up north with the children.  

I have recently been told that i may have to pay Capital Gains on any profit from the house sale.  There is an agreement in place in the form of a deed of separation which states that the proceeds of the house will be split between myself and my ex after solicitor fees, help to buy fees etc.  

Will have to pay Capital Gains?


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  specific issues order for childs medication
Posted by: trickster001 - 08-14-2019, 09:19 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies


I am currently awaiting my final hearing,where I am applying for custody of my daughter,but it is some way off.My main area of contention is that my ex neglects my daughters medical needs,and I am concerned that my ex has not been administering my daughter her antibiotics,which I will find out later today.This would not be the first time this has happened and,should I find out this is the case should I apply for an emergency specific issues order to push for my ex to comply with these type of responsibilities?,or maybe some form of non molestation order?. I received a reasonable section 7 report, but the CAFCASS officer classed most of my issues as low level,and seems to have built quite the rapport with my ex unfortunately while taking weeks to reply to me.

thanks in advance

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  Financial Split (Consent Order)
Posted by: AK2018 - 08-13-2019, 06:35 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (2)

Stbx showed me draft consent order for finances. As per my knowledge it sounds ok. 40/60 split in her favour as agreed with an option of buying other party out. But I could not see anything mentioned that she will settle one credit card used for her needs and return deposit used to buy house. As per our mutual agreement 12k should be returned to me from the house of sale before we split it.
I have asked why it's not on the agreement and response was that her solicitor won't put it and I need to ask my solicitors to add in consent. It does not make sense. If her solicitors drafting they definitely can add a line that 12k should be returned to me and the remaining debts should to be covered from the sale of house. Once it's sorted we would split 40/60.

I am pretty sure a line can be added to the agreement, but correct me if I am wrong.

Let me know your thoughts.

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  ABUSE...hurts so much
Posted by: grandma - 08-12-2019, 01:22 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (15)

Its been quite a while since I last posted and that is because sometimes (like today) I feel so negative about our situation.  And so worried about my son's mental and physical health.  I don't know how much longer he or we can put up with this abuse of us and our granddaughter.
We did find a solicitor who was very forthright about the fact that we had left it very late to instigate Court (finances do come into play here but maybe she never thought about that!).  She was right though..."A "(grandaughter) is now nearly 5 years old and fully coached and coerced, I call it brainwashed.   
He was told by ex he could have A stay overnight (one night only) from february this year but that has not worked out because A is frightened of the monsters in the house or the man who can break through the front door. No prizes for guessing where that originates.  And she has been coached to "love love love mummy", "want, want, want mummy" (massively obvious) which creates separation anxiety.
My son has tried so hard to settle her down at night but A does not have a routine at home, she stays up late and has always (still does) shared mummys bed.  A is fine on the day he gets her, she adores her daddy who plays with her lots and takes her to nice places like the zoo, but come the evening when its time for bed, she cries for mummy.  By the early hours my son is exhausted and takes her home.  Last week he persevered and  she cried and cried but went to sleep at 4am. Great in the morning, loved being there for breakfast.  Because she stayed, he has been "punished"....ex has various methods of getting to my son in the worst possible ways.  
I am not allowed to have her overnight..A herself has told me mummy said so.  She also keeps saying she has secrets..one confused little girl.  She says things but we never question her..she gets enough interrogation once she gets back to her mother.
So, why have we not instigated Court, you may ask?    We have done the c100 form and part done the other (the abuse form) but abuse is deadly.
He has had 5.5 years of abuse when he was with her, dreadful things went on behind closed doors but she is careful to appear sweet and charming to the outside world.  They may have split up when A was 3 months old (with the help of the police) but the abuse is ongoing.  This woman is in a class of her own with her poisonous ways and she gets enjoyment from controlling this awful situation.  The effect on my son is that he lives in a highly stressful state, sometimes depressed, often angry, lonely, despairing, tearful.  Strong enough for the Court procedure...no.   Am I?  No. And my husband is battling cancer. 
Is there any help out there?   Well, I have looked everywhere and there seems not.  In fact we would come across as the "loony" pair if we opened up to the authorities...ex is very convincing as an actress ..and we fear we would lose this battle.  certainly I cannot talk to anyone about what is happening, pointless as no friends understand..just think its a domestic.  One said "oh, you do see your granddaughter..some people dont even get that".  "or he should man up" (never been as keen on that friend since! )  We used to be a normal happy family but now are one that is desperately sad and fearful for the future. 
A starts school soon and then there will be another battle to get access.   He is not allowed to take her on holiday and today has been a bad day for my son because he sees all these families with their children and his friends taking their little ones on holiday.  He feels, quite rightly, that he is just a glorified babysitter on the 2 days he has her whilst ex works. She rings up constantly to fnd out where A is, what she is doing, who she is with and then raps orders to my son.. the control is immense but you have to understand that he is not the confident young man he once was..he is broken and she enjoys what she is doing, creating fear and immense pain.  When he plucked up courage to ask when he will be able to see A once school starts, she says she is not discussing that.  When he goes to collect A for the day, ex keeps him waiting in the car for 10-15 minutes. Control.
We will go to Court..its the only option but god knows what the result will be. I cannot feel confident. CAFCAS will think we are nuts rather than emotionally messed up (probably both).  As I type this, I am tearful. This morning my son cried.
Sorry I have gone on and on but thank you for reading this. It helps me to take the cork out of the bottle (thats my made up saying!). x

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  My experience thus far
Posted by: beehive84 - 08-09-2019, 04:27 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (6)

Evening all.

I had a directions hearing last week. My case has been on going for over a year now but the final hearing is in two months. I won’t give too much away in case of prying eyes and the final hearing is finally over.

Been a while since I posted so thought I’d give you my experience of being a litigant in person for my first ever experience in the child courts (and no doubt not my last).

My ex is being extremely belligerent. Absolute silence from her end in attempts to frustrate and make me crack to make mistakes. Done her best to try and insinuate all sorts of allegations but utterly failed.

I managed by a whisker having to avoid doing an anger management course. The last two hearings have actually gone rather well considering I’ve been up against an angry lying ex and a useless and belligerent cafcass. It has helped however that their own belligerence has shone through.

My tips so far

1) Try and keep your emotions to a minimum and be polite in all emails and the hearings. Note down what is said as you will get a chance to respond. Try and act positive.Do not give her, cafcass or her respondent an edge.

2)Be very careful what you say verbally to an ex’s lawyer regarding any proposal prior to a hearing. Keep conversation to a minimum as they will attempt to twist anything you say as a negative. If needed write down a proposal and hand it to them. There’s certain things they feel they can get away with with a litigant in person.

3)My gut feeling is the process works on the basis that if abuse is alleged then don’t expect miracles on the outset from your first hearing. Ultimately that doubt hangs over your head especially with CAFCASS. Even if that’s entails a prolonged absence from your children. They are testing you to get a reaction.

4) Do what your ordered to do.

5) Play dirty where you can but don’t let it be shown in court. You can get a lot of leeway with magistrates being a litigant in person which clearly winds up solicitors. Especially in terms of what is submitted. Let’s just say I wrong footed the ex’s solicitor big time on the last two hearings.

5)Read the terrain. If CAFCASS and the respondent aren’t giving you an inch in access then don’t ask for a lot either. The less you ask for and they still refuse then the more unreasonable it makes them look.

6) Take out all emotion from your statements in your court statement and try and make it factual with reference points.

7) if the ex is being belligerent you’ve got to try and get factual examples.

8) if your ex is making obvious breach’s of your basic parental rights highlight it and request in the statement that you request them to order an immediate resolution.They just did it with myself as the ex solicitor offered no explanation.

9) if cafcass are being belligerent you need to nail down where this is in their own reports. My officer has made a couple. In addition don’t be afraid to highlight in your statement items that you think should have been investigated by cafcass in their report. You can ask for an addendum to their report. Again, mainly around factual items that will prove your ex’s hostility.

I can only give opinions on my own experience but my ex has given me little reason to want to pay for extra legal help.
If she gives nothing, offers nothing and CAFCASS recommend hardly anything on top of the nothing you already have then ultimately I’m not risking thousands of pounds in legal fees to achieve nothing.

I’ve been on the ropes a few times on my case but if the opponent makes mistakes you can turn it back around by focusing on their errors and prove they are being hostile. That’s including cafcass.

Once my case is over I’ll expand on items I did wrong and right later.

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  Mediation query
Posted by: Riman - 08-08-2019, 06:20 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Hi community. I posted a couple of weeks ago seeking a specialist divorce solicitor even though I had final court order in place. Thanks again to those that responded - matters are progressing.

I have tried mediation 3 times with my ex-wife, each time my offer has been declined. I am sick to death of throwing good money after bad but in order for me to make a new application to court to see my children, I am told that I must contact a mediator once more and extend the offer to my ex-wife (who will knock it back). To that end, is there anyone that can help in a very cost effective way in what essentially is an exercise in getting a mediator's signature on the court application?

Thanks in advance

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Posted by: Marky207 - 08-05-2019, 11:59 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (15)

I've been going through hell on earth with my ex who bullies my daughter and manipulates her. I have some text message evidence between ex and daughter of manipulation of contact, slagging me and making out I'm the result of all of her stresses in life & the reason why she has a bad attitude towards her mother. Daughter is 12 and very scared of her mum and will do as her mum tells her, even if daughter is the one to suffer. It's getting to a point now where I am planning on taking ex back to court for failure to obtemper but do not want my daughter spoken to again because she is under so much pressure and has been spoken to by 4 different people in the last year (all with varying stories and wishes - classic sign of her being manipulated/confused tbh).

Daughter told me this weekend her mum sends her abusive snapchat messages about me or telling her what to do - daughter doesn't feel brave enough to tell anyone but me about this and I don't blame her. Problem is, there is a reason why my ex is sending messages by snapchat - they disappear and delete once daughter has read it. I was wondering if anyone knew anything about trying to recover these messages on my daughter's phone/snapchat account without her mother knowing? Spoke to daughter who is happy for me to get copies of these messages if I can to show anyone who can definitely help. Daughter doesn't actually want it going back to court as her mum goes ballistic and so she is petrified of having to speak to someone again. I've promised her I can try get this avoided if I can recover evidence of these messages on snapchat between her and her mum.

Btw, I'm in Scotland where the court system is even more backwards than the English system Sad

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  Parenting Plan & the court order
Posted by: SeanS - 08-03-2019, 09:27 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (10)

Hello Dads

question - how do I legalise a parenting plan ? 

I have written a 5 pager parenting plan along the same lines as the template provided by CAFCASS ( communication, financial matters, Education, living and childcare arrangement, and I have added couple of section myself such as 'cultural and values' etc)

I have sent this plan to the mother as my set of proposals. While I'm waiting for the response for agreement, disagreement etc, I'd like to press ahead with producing the parenting plan at my next hearing where I'm self representing. Subject to the review by the judge, I'd like to get the plan all formal and a court order end of the day ?


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  Crazy outlaw
Posted by: Sb1353 - 08-03-2019, 06:15 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (5)

Today I went to see my children in a contact centre ( due to false allegations I’m still there). My partner with her disabled child sat in the car whilst I was seeing my children. Crazy ex’s father came to my car started taking pictures of her, her child and the car. When my partner asked why he was taking pictures he swore at her and ran off. She was shaking and was shocked. Her daughter had a panic attack and was shaking too. Isn’t this crazy? What kind of animal do that kind of thing? The issue is my children live with this nasty man and there isn’t anyone who listen to my concern. This man is dangerous and crazy.

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