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  School Photos
Posted by: Jonah - 10-16-2018, 02:45 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (2)

My daughters are aged 11 and 14 and I have just been told by their school that they have said they do not want me to receive their school photos any longer...can they do this at their age??

I have not seen my daughters in almost 8 years since my ex-wife moved with them 350 miles away.  Despite numerous visits, i have been told by her that I'm not welcome.  I still write to them every fortnight and send Christmas and birthday presents down without fail and I've only received one thank you note in 8 years.  I have joint parental responsibiloty and I relied on the school pictures to see my girls grow up.  I'm devastated.

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  Child pick up
Posted by: AK2018 - 10-16-2018, 02:42 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (4)

Once again, getting stressed as she is involving kids.
Just received a txt that she wont be able to pick up or arrange pick up from school for the rest of the week. She is going on training due to her new work.
She knew that, since she was offered a new job, but didn't make any attempt to book after-school. Once I have found out, after-school was fully booked. And i was blamed for that Smile.
I am lucky enough to have good line manager and he allowed me to finish early for the last two days, still have 3more days to go...It does affect my work also..
I am trying to understand her needs,(doing my best to help as much as I can) but child care should be planned in advance. Unfortunately we don't talk much...( Main reason I am trying to avoid arguments and conflicts). I also don't want her to loose a job, for known reason...
She is not bloody child focused, if she drops everything on my shoulder and I am pretty much sure judge/court won't see that I am mainly taking care of him.
I am taking notes of everything, but can it be used in court?
Anyone had same or similar issues?

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  BBC Radio Berkshire
Posted by: invisibleintellectual - 10-16-2018, 02:41 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - No Replies


We have received an email from BBC Radio Berkshire who are looking for a Stay At Home Dad from the area to speak about their parenting experience.

Anyone interested in this?


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  last advice court tomorrow
Posted by: avadad - 10-16-2018, 12:10 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

ok im shxxxxing myself with worry, here. and dont feel that good, about tomorrow, Sad cant fight the ex any more,

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  Advise welcome - newly seperated
Posted by: le1988 - 10-16-2018, 10:26 AM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (11)

Hello all,

Will post my story so far..

Recently seperated with ex, told her to leave the house and go to her mums (not married but she is on the mortgage - not a lot of equity in it though thank god..)

I told her I want 50/50 access to my children, she said no I am only entitled to 2 nights every 2 weeks (obviously so she can rinse me for as much money she can get out of me, being selfish and not thinking of the kids)

Been to see solicitor, who have arranged mediation (first appointment is with just myself - not sure why). And when it finally gets there I will represent myself in court - my work have give me their full support if I can get 50/50 access.

I am down on the child benefit as the main carer (first child in my name - second in her name) solicitor informed me it will be very difficult to get me removed from this (anyone have any experience with this?)

She has no job and lives with her parents - she doesn't know my wage (she kept trying to ask - presumably trying to rinse me) I asked why do you need to know my wage if we are coming to a payment arrangement ourselves?

Can child maintenance take money from me without even knowing the true circumstance  - I.E. if she has lied through her teeth to them to get more money.

Thanks guys..

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  The Red Pill
Posted by: Naive - 10-16-2018, 07:56 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (15)

I was speaking to a friend from the US last night. He was talking about a documentary called The Red Pill, he said it was banned in the US. Not sure about that or if its any good Im gonna watch it tonight.

You can find it on Cartoonhd.care

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Posted by: bianworld - 10-15-2018, 01:43 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (3)


My ex appears to be hell bent on making sure I`m not part of my son`s life. After making allegations of drug abuse; which was disproved by a drugs test, she is now making alleagations of DV and that my intent to establish contact with my son is to further my permanent stay in the Country.

She knows I require my son`s passport or a court order to renew my visa and as such, absconded with my son.

The Court has instructed my lawyer to confirm my status with the Home Office - I had a leave to remain which expired on 13th October but applied for renewal based on being the father of a British son on 2nd October with  documents from the Court showing I have an ongoing family matter, pictures of me and my son, pictures of me in the delivery suite and Birth certificate with my name stated as the father.

My question is, what impact will the allegation of wanting to establish contact with my son to further my leave in the Country have on the whole proceedings, considering I need the Contact order for my application to be approved. Please bear in mind that my son is just 6months old.

Awiting your response.

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  Scared of being lonely
Posted by: SherryDan - 10-15-2018, 12:54 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (10)

Im trying to get a four bedroom house so I can comfortably have the kids for half the time. 

But I'm worried (and depressed) that Im going to be lonely when they are not there. Just me rattling around in a big empty house. 

Ive never been the life and soul of the party, and was so at ease and comfortable in my old home. I can almost feel the loneliness just thinking about it.

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Brick Buy or Rent : Advice please!
Posted by: SherryDan - 10-15-2018, 12:20 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (12)

Helly guys, I need some advice.

So, we are moving towards a final settlement. 

After she takes maintenance I will be left with £2800 per month.
I'll also have £300k in the bank. But nothing else. No other reserves or anything.
Im self employed, so my income is far from secure in the long term. 

I am now faced with a major dilemma. 

Do I buy a house, or rent?

A suitable house (so I could have joint care of the kids) would be about £550k. However, that would mean me sinking every penny I have into it, but it would leave some money per month to rebuild savings. The mortgage payment would be affordable (but high).

Or I could rent. Renting in this area is about £2k per month. So gradually the money I have in the bank would be eroded, and I dread to think what would happen if house prices started rising again. 

The houses that I could rent are much better than what I could buy (bigger bedrooms, bigger gardens etc).

My plan originally was to rent a place for a year or two, mainly because I could get it up and running quickly, and then buy, when I was more financially secure. 

But if my business dies, or house prices surge, Im terrified I will be off the ladder forever. I have this image of me being homeless and it scares the shit out of me. 

At the same time, having that money (£300k) in the bank gives me security, that if my business failed, I could downsize and survive for a long time.

Ive been struggling with this for more than a week, and some days Im certain I should buy, and other times rent.

Im so anxious about this, its literally making me sick, after everything Ive survived so far.

Anyone have some advice they could give me?

My head is so foggy.


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  Father daughter relationships
Posted by: MissMyAngels - 10-15-2018, 12:14 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (3)

I’m separated three and a half years, two girls 7 & 10....

In three years, mum has new long term boyfriend, she has moved house once and moved the girls schools once... I’ve moved three times and got re-married... time flies when your life gets thrown like a pack of cards...

Anyways... used to have every weekend access... lost all access in Oct 17... rode it out, fought for an amicable agreement out of court then ended up in free social services mediation (family group conferencing) which resulted in me getting girls back... 10 months later...

Anyways, during that time my relationship with my oldest has been immense... youngest one... a bit hit and miss but now immense... my oldest one is now hit and miss...

I fully appreciate they have been through an awful lot of change... but I remarried 4 weeks ago.. regained access back to the girls beginning of August

The oldest one is basically down in the dumps... moody... frustrated... but all the more because her mum has been saying things to her... Ive not been able to get to the bottom of it... but my oldest said mum has been saying a few things... (this was post the wedding) but she won’t go any further... before I saw them this weekend, the oldest had refused for the first time to speak to me on the phone... mum blaming too much change on my side... the problem is mum, explains things to the girls in a very petty and points scoring way...

I’m anxious... regards the girls... not sure how things will pan out...

I see them every other weekend for 2 nights and every other Thursdays for 2 hours for tea...

How can i understand the older one better? She comes across as mentally drained with it all... not sure who’s side to take (despite her not needing to take any and be herself). What can I do to gel with her more ? Should I spend some me and her time alone and let my wife spend time with the youngest?

This may seem obvious to some... but I’m just at a bit of a loss of what the future holds and how and if my ex is influencing the older one to break away from me... any similar experiences to share ?


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