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accused of violence
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  certificate from district judge
Posted by: JessC - 10-12-2018, 08:49 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

Hi All, as a Canadian citizen in order to get the access rights to a child in the UK a certificate issued by a district judge confirming the applicant's intention to maintain contact with the child is required. Does anyone know how to get such a certificate? Is it possible to just book an appointment with a district judge, or a letter, or is a more formal way required and how to choose the district judge? Hope you can help me.

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  Courses - DV
Posted by: Nannykit - 10-12-2018, 04:26 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (6)

Hi Guys
CAFCASS have advised my son look into/attend courses to show that he has changed/willing to change etc.

If you look back over my posts you will see the whole story.

The long/short of it is....

EX claims years of DV - judge finds all allegations to be true.
CAFCASS also find all allegations to be true.

CAFCASS have said my son needs to admit to the abuse and attend a course before they will recommend any contact.

CAFCASS are not willing to refer him to any of their courses, as they say he is unsuitable?

SO..  help please,   which courses have you attended, which courses do you suggest, which courses have helped show a judge that you willing to change and putting in the hard work.  Remember these cannot be CAFCASS Referal courses.

Thank you

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  Still Struggling with Change
Posted by: GC1974 - 10-12-2018, 09:43 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (7)

My ex lives in the original family village, retains all of the children's friends etc. and the kids mainly live with her.

She left me, yet like so many it is me that suffers. Anxiety without my sons, no sense of where to live or what to do, cannot seem to meet a nice woman although I have dated no end.

Im in a house now and its being done up, but my heart isn't in it. Its necessity for the children.

I moved 25 mins away for some space from her...………...but it means I have my lads less over night now and I miss them more than I dreamed possible.

If I go back to this village, I have to make my life in the environment she lives in - but I see kids more.

If I stay where I am I can have more nights out and work easier, but see them less.

Start a new job next month, excited but nervous as I don't want this nightmare to trash yet another opportunity for me.

Honestly I am lonely.

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  Rape and DV found guilty
Posted by: samim1919 - 10-12-2018, 08:50 AM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (2)

Judge said if you don't accept your a risk so no contact if you did accept our found you need DVPP course if the course went well you will get some sort of contact

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  one for Friday
Posted by: SeanS - 10-12-2018, 08:32 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)

Hello Dads

I wonder if this has been discussed in earlier posts, if yes would be great if someone could point in the right direction. Here is the question

Does anyone know or have experience of providing 'secret audio recording' at the family court as evidence ? I believe I have some incriminating evidence of events at home after I left family home, which I believe can alter my children access and finance settlement court cases significantly.

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  Child custody arrangements
Posted by: alexroutledge - 10-12-2018, 05:57 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

Hi all,

I'm after a bit of advice.

My wife has recently told me she would like to separate and we are now in the process of divorcing. We have 2 children (4 and 7) and are currently working out custody arrangements.

The complexity is that up until now she hasn't been working and I provided everything financially (I have quite a reasonable salary). She has said that after we divorce she doesn't want to work but survive on benefits and child maintenance payments.

Ultimately, I want us both to be able to support the children in our respective homes. But what happens if she is unable to support the children financially?

I have worked out that with benefits, child maintenance and a part time job (she refuses to work but may have to), she would have an income of around £1600 per month but would then need to pay accommodation costs, bills etc.

It seems a little unfair to have to pay spousal maintenance when she refuses to work.




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  Postnatal depression
Posted by: Sb1353 - 10-11-2018, 10:33 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (12)

Thanks for reading this. I am new to this forum and forgive me if this is too long.
I don’t know where to start. I met my wife almost 5 years ago at work and start dating soon after she joined the company. She fell pregnant after few dates and we decided to keep the baby. Soon after she moved in with me. She then asked me to,marry her several times before I asked proposed to her officially 4 month after we met. 

We loved each other so much and we made each other happy. We got married within 6 months of meeting each other. I had bought a house before I met her and doing it up. I worked as senior manager day time and each evening I went and worked on the house for 6 months. When we first met she told me that she was a broken goods and she had abusive relationship in the past and she was engaged couple of times and her fiancée had died. I looked after her well ( she told me many time) our firs child was born in October same year.

We moved in to our new home in August. We were so happy I took 2 weeks PL and looked after both of my family. Her family were living an hour away and we didn’t get much help from them. I forgot to mention that she was sacked from her job after we came back from honeymoon in June so she stayed home till next May. She had previous issue with depression and there is history of mental health in her family. When our son was 7 months old I though maybe it will help if she went back to work. She got a job and that involved travelling around the UK. So we put our son to nursery and I was doing the nursery run everyday and looked after our son while she was working away and only was home at the weekends. I did that for over 2 years and really enjoyed. 

I had also had stressful job and many staff to manage. I took us on many holidays abroad at least twice a yeas and many holidays in the UK. We were so happy. Her depression got better. Some days she felt guilty that she wasn’t a good mum and she didn’t have a good bond with our son as he was always coming to me. But generally she was happy and feeling better. Her family was coming to visit every other week and we did the same. 

I thought they are close family which I value. She then asked for a second child. I was happy with our perfect boy. Later on I gave in and she become pregnant. This time there was another boy. During pregnancy her depression came back she wasn’t the same person. When our second son was born she become ill. She was diagnosed with postnatal depression and she was prescribed with antidepressants. She was seeing a nurse and psychiatrist on a regular basis. It was really tough as she wasn’t the same person anymore. She was seeing thing and hearing things. She told me many times that she can see a devil sitting next to our baby and is going to hurt him. When I tried to talk to her that there isn’t a devil in our house she didn’t believe me. 

I was going through tough time at my work and was signed off for anxiety. I couldn’t talk to her because I didn’t want to add to her anxiety. One day in laws came to my house. My father in law shouted at my son at the dinner table and called him a disgrace. He was just messing about. We put him on naughty steps and he went and told him off again. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything. Later on he came and attacked me saying that I am not a good parent. I don’t discipline my child and I don’t look after my wife. I bite my tongue and didn’t say anything. He came back and attacked me again. This time was with his wife. I then asked him to leave my house. He told me that this will be expensive for you. 

He send an appology email for our son but nothing to me. My wife wrote to them saying they have crossed the line and we don’t know how long it will to use to get over this. I then received an apology email from him. We didn’t talk for 3 months. They kept sending email and letters. We went on 2 holidays abroad in between. We then decided to go and visit my side of family abroad. She was looking forward to do it so I started to get all documents sorted. After 3 months I asked my wife to go and see her parents and take the children as well. She said she was nervous and I left it up to her. 

She arranged a date with them and went to see them for couple of hours. I found out that paperwork was missing and when she returned from her parents I asked her if she knew where they were. She denied and we had an argument. She left that night with my kids and I never saw her again. It looks like it was all planned as her parents came and picked her up. So I haven’t seen my children for 2 months. I tried contacting her and tried mutual friends but when they went ther in laws called the police. She told me on a daily basis how much she loved me and she appreciates what I have done for her. I had no choice to go and see a solicitor and apply to child arrangement order. I have now received various domestic vialonce and sexual vialance allegations from her. I can’t believe she is the same woman I married. I am really hear broken and sad that a happy marriage ended up in the court. Before she left she told me that I was going to take the kids away. Now I have been investigated by the police about these false allegations. I really burst into tears when I spoke to an officer about this. Police interviewed me for 3 hours and broke down in the police station. The police officer rang me and told me they are worried about her mental health and there is no charges. That was good news.

 I don’t know what to do and I can’t understand why someone who told me that she loves me for almost 5 years can turn into an evil woman. I still care about her even though what she has done is evil. I spoke to. Psychologist and was told this is due her mental illness. Sorry this was long story. I appreciate your help and support. Has anyone had the same experiences? Will court look into her mental health issue and will I likely to have full custody because of her mental state? Thanks

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  guilty at court advice please
Posted by: samim1919 - 10-11-2018, 10:33 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (6)

If the fact finding proven against me to be occurred including Domestic violence Control beating all sort of other things would you still get access or not because the mum alleged the child was present when the violence happened.
If all proven to be true but you not accept or admitted will you be accepted to the DV courses if you not admit?
If not accepted to the DV course where that will leave you?
Some people say if the judge believe that domestic violence occurred they do not allow contact at all is it true or you will get some form of direct contact?
Please share your thoughts and experience thanks

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  Agreed buy out of family home
Posted by: johnnyw - 10-11-2018, 08:14 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

New here but looking for advice.
I split from my ex partner in Feb 2015, and it was messy, hell hath no fury and all that.
Anyway, we went to court in September 2015 and in the court order the ex agreed to buy me out of my share
of the family home. The only provisos being, to quantify the value and date of this arrangement.
The ex has only been doing care work etc since the split, so I have not moved on this issue for fear of
disadvantaging my son, should the only recourse be to sell the property.
However, I am informed by my son that both her parents are now passed away, which would lead me to believe
she may be in possession of a rather hefty inheritance. The parents home would have been of a value approaching
1 Million and there is another property in Wales.
There are only the ex and her sister to inherit.
My ex has made no moves at all to free my capital in our previously shared property in over three years,but
I am pretty sure she is now in a position to do so without affecting my sons position.
How easy considering the situation, would it be to now force either her purchase of my share, or sale of our
old property, considering her new position?
I am sure she will make it as difficult as possible, she is a great believer in spite.
Any advice gratefully received.
Just to clarify mortgage repayments made by ex are 53 pounds a month, while I have had to rent in
the private sector since 2015.

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  Reading Meet
Posted by: invisibleintellectual - 10-11-2018, 07:40 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (1)

looking at 2nd November for a meet up in Reading

Let me know if you wish to attend via PM

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