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Self Representation
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
Last Post: Naive
9 minutes ago
» Replies: 6
» Views: 268
My Head Is Exploding Over...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
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19 minutes ago
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Enforcement hearing tomor...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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31 minutes ago
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He hopped it from the Kan...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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» Views: 62
Help Required After Harra...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
Last Post: Naive
1 hour ago
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New born access
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: MarkR
2 hours ago
» Replies: 2
» Views: 30
Maintenance claim even th...
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: MarkR
3 hours ago
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Equal Parenting
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
Yesterday, 10:25 PM
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Desperate Situation
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
Last Post: Hazy
Yesterday, 10:24 PM
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» Views: 69

  Custody when both parties agree.
Posted by: Bingbong - 03-12-2018, 06:51 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (4)

Hi Guys, hope you are all well.
I'm just after a little advice and after lurking for a bit thought this might be the best place to ask.
My situation is not as complex and sad as most of the experiences on here, it breaks my heart reading some of it. Stay strong everyone.

My son is 13 next month and since he was 2 hes been living with his mum. Ive had him every other weekend as ive always not lived close. 50 miles away for quite some time and now its 105 miles away. Ive also had him every Christmas since we split and also a good proportion of the school holidays. I know, I've been lucky.
For quite a while now, probably a good 5 years, hes been asking me and my new partner that he wants to live with us. He's absolutely not bothered that he will miss his friends, step sister or his mum. I can't recall how many times hes asked but its more or less a monthly thing.
Ultimately he will have a better life with us, school, food, social activities, exercise, bigger close family.
He complains that his mum hits him and says she doesn't want him, which i don't want to believe, but I do believe him as I would do I suppose.

Either way, his mum has finally agreed that we can have him, which is fantastic and its all I've ever wanted, but I've got absolutely no idea whats involved legally.

Most of the info on line is biased towards both partners not agreeing on custody but obviously I want to make sure that its not something that will cause confusion for anyone.

Is it as easy as speaking with his current school and organising his new one? Family allowance, how does that work out? 

I will talk to CAB at some point this week but thought I'd just see if anyone knew, or had been in a similar situation to see what it worked out like in real life not the perfect scenario.

Cheers chaps.

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  Moving out of jointly owned house and rights...
Posted by: nickl - 03-12-2018, 04:33 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)


Going through the delights of everything and after being made redundant (of which she naturally wants all of that!) I have managed to pay enough to rent somewhere until the house is sold. Means me and my son get some piece and quiet and less stress for half the week. 

She is demanding my keys back, but I legally own 60% of the house, or if I keep them, she wants keys to my new rental property. 

Anyone experienced this? What can or can't she ask for?

Help appreciated!!!

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  Contact centre almost over i hope
Posted by: Charlielovesyou - 03-12-2018, 04:20 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

So i have one week left in the centre before the next hearing, 21st March. I have got to do a statement about how contact went but im not sure how im supposed to do it. Do i do it like a normal position statement or is it just like a written account of how it went and how i thought it went. Do i need to put recommendations in to progress contact etc although i have already given all this in the last hearings position statement? Although i dont need a report from the centre i am waiting for them to send me one based on how they saw it and how it went generally. I also have an enforcement hearing at the same time which i have already done statements for. 

The last 2 sessions have been pretty good. Especially since the one woman that seems to understand has gotten more involved. The one woman's answer to everything was to just take my daughter back as soon as she whinged a little but she has put a stop to that. She said that wasnt good for her and she needed to just be left with me, especially as she was fine with me and wasnt hysterical or uncontrollably upset. 

The one woman changed everything so handovers were done in the corridor and then mom put in a room with no windows so our daughter wouldnt see her. She said then she wouldnt realise her mom was still there because she had worked out that where she was and that if she cried they would take her back.  I have then been able to roam around the centre and talk to everyone and say hi to the other kids etc and keep her amused and happy. So they deliberately left her with me and let me carry on, although mom keeps sending instructions through them telling me that i cant do things. 

A few sessions have been missed, not anything to do with me i might add. But it seems like my daughter is recognising me and knows me, i doubt she knows im dad as such yet but still the bond is growing.  This Saturdays session was really good, she came to the room crying as usual but immediately stopped once she saw me and came to me. She as usual was happy for an hour or so playing in the room but then especially as other people turn up she wants to go out and investigate and be nosy. Although she whinged a little she was happy doing this and getting her mitts into anything she could. The centre staff said that they hadnt heard her cry once this week. So i think things are getting better. 

So i know what i want from court but im not sure what i am expecting tbh. Ive been before all hopeful only to be quickly deflated. Im hoping that contact can be moved from the centre and to mine or the grandparents homes, after all it will benefit all of us and save me some money that can be spent on my daughter. We live literally 5-10 mins from each other and the centre is 30 minutes away. And im also hoping to get more contact in the week. I am not sure if a final order will be made but im getting nervous about it all now.

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  Contact Order....and ex
Posted by: orings - 03-12-2018, 04:18 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (3)

Hi everyone..

Was just wondering how quick contact orders get to court and how quick they are processed?

Just having a nightmare at the Min with my ex... tried everything i possibly can to do it amicably and see my daughter to no avail.  Then few days ago out of the blue she starts to message me again....

Is she doing this as she knows I'm not messing about in regards to access and trying to get me to snap to have evidence? don't want to be drawn into mind games,,

Just wondering if anyone else has had an ex like this very manipulative and controlling.


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  Picking my battles
Posted by: beehive84 - 03-12-2018, 03:55 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (1)

Hi chaps

I've been reading this forum and picked up many helpful tips but looking looking for some advice or comments.

Been with my wife for 4 years, married two years ago. The sad truth is I feel we both deluded ourselves into getting married and it's getting to the point we are both starting to realise we are not compatible. Hindsight eh!

To sum up, the writing is on the wall for a host of reasons and I believe we both know it's coming. The relationship isn't a violent or hostile one, we have some good times but we are most definitely growing apart.

The current situation is we both put 50/50 equity (280k) into the house but with a 6 month baby she wouldn't want to move.

I'll grant my wife that she is a harder worker, intelligent and is a fair woman. She is qualified to do high paying work (which she did prior to maternity) but she has been preparing to setup a new business during her maternity as it would suit her lifestyle now with our daughter.

I'm happy to give her the time to get it off the ground as it has good prospects. It also means I'll have precious time to see my daughter grow in this period. Equally though I think it's partly why my wife will put maximum effort into her business to be self sufficient from me is the blunt truth.

So it's coming, I can see it a mile off.

From a divorce point of view it strikes me as a losing battle going to court. Therefore I feel it's worth waiting until her business is up and running to the point she could stand on her own two feet without me as that would put our daughter in better stead.

I also think short term it would be pointless chasing for any equity from the house immediately and I'd be better to agree to a share of the equity on a future sale once our daughter reaches maturity.
Knowing my wife, I know the important thing is the house and stability now. If I agree to signing over the mortgage to her on the basis I agree to a share of the house sale in the future it would keep things civil between us. It would also mean we'd be civilised when it comes to sorting child maintenance privately.

Any thought's on this?

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  Self Representation
Posted by: marios84 - 03-12-2018, 03:31 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (6)

Has anyone on here self represented and have any advice on what to expect and best practises?

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  Half holidays order
Posted by: Naive - 03-12-2018, 03:17 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (2)

Just a quick question, Im just trying to sort out the details of the order Im looking for. Barrister threw in half holidays since ex wasnt budging on anything anyhoo.
My ex and I both work so during term holidays, how do you guys do it? For the guys who have half holidays what does it actually mean? you organise childcare if youre working?

It seems easiest to me to just organise the holidays we have off work and leave the rest of the time as is. i.e. on my days I would organise daughter to be looked after by family during the day if Im not off work.

I dont want to just throw half holidays in there just to be awkward, it has to be practicable. But no different for the ex though.

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  Nursery Issues
Posted by: marios84 - 03-12-2018, 01:44 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (6)

As the mother of my daughter has stopped me seeing my daughter, I had no option but to visit my daughter at nursery and spend just some time with her. I would see her and would just go into the managers office for one and one time for an hour.

Last Friday I went to see her at nursery and I was stopped at the door by the Deputy Manager who said that her mother was arriving in 5-10 minutes for their Mothers Day event. I told the manager that's fine I will see her for a short period before her mother arrives. She then repeated the same message about her mother arriving in 10 minutes, to which I said I don't really care that shes arriving I want to see my daughter and if her mother arrives its not an issue with me. After a short conversation she told me to come in and she will check what my daughter is doing. She then came back and told me my daughter was asleep, I advised her my daughter is nearly 4 and is in pre school and doesn't have naps anymore and I asked why would you put her to sleep at 1.30pm? I then asked let me see if she is asleep to which she refused.

At this point I left the nursery and complained to the owner of the business and said I was lied to about my own daughter, that she wasn't asleep and that mothers day show was not until 3pm so I have 1.5 hours before her mother arrived. She admitted that the manager panicked and this was the end result. We agreed that I would call in advance of me arriving at the nursery.

Today I called ahead and advised that I was going to pick up my daughter and take her out for lunch. When I arrived at the nursery (25mins after the call) I was stopped at the door and was told that the mother had picked up her from nursery as they had to advise her that I was coming to see her. I then called the owner again and said listen following on from our conversation on Friday and the lies I was told about my daughter I need you to put it in writing that the mother collected her from Nursery. She refused to put this in writing. 

Can the nursery do any of this?

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  New guy! / help!
Posted by: DevlinA7388 - 03-12-2018, 01:14 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (3)

Hey guys new here hope everyone is well. Hope this is going into the right section!

I've been separated from my partner now for about 18months. We eventually landed on a good arrangement in terms of having my little one (4 in jan) every other weekend. But that has no ceased and it's becoming increasingly difficult to see him. Sometimes out mutual relationship for the sake of our son is really good. Then it will take a real ugly turn for a week or so. If she continues to not play ball and allow me to have him around every other weekend what are my next steps? I got the feeling I may have to go all the way to court at this rate.
Thanks for reading.

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  section 37 report
Posted by: marley4071 - 03-12-2018, 01:08 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

sorry i dont know if any one can help i need to do a statement in reply to a section 37 report by child services 
any help in how i should lay it out as i am doing it my self as i can not afford a lawer

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