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  Is this correct?
Posted by: asd1270 - 06-07-2018, 07:53 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

The g/dian had stated in the s7 report that ex showed some text msg from me to another person and ex to produce it to court.

I had pic /audio of I made the g/dian aware off . yet no mention of this.

So im now going to have to take the photos n audio to court and state I want these to be viewed.
I curious to see how that will be addressed.

A professional undertaking an assessment cannot be party to seeing evidence.
It can lead and influence a report that is being written.
You cannot evaluate a childs views wishes and feeling in one visit either.especially when it is undertaken at the perpetrators house. This can lead to a child not expressing his true feeling.these visits should be undertaken at school where there is less influence.

Are these ppl not got common sense.??????

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  House Split
Posted by: AK2018 - 06-07-2018, 05:26 AM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (5)

Hi everyone. Never thought I will be in this situation.
My wife she is threating me with divorce. We own together property.(joint ownership). We have been married 2years, in relations more than 10years.
I offered her to go and discuss our options via mediation, but she has refused and went to see a solicitor.she said I should receive a letter from solicitor shortly.
Please advise on below:
* After sale of house before we split money can my deposit returned to me? ( it's a gift from my parents)
*Money from the sale of house is used to cover the debts that we had during our marriage before we split profit.
*She is threating me ( I am biological father of one child, other child is from her second marriage he is 13yrold) what she will claim child support for non biological child untill he will reach 18year old. ( I will support him anyway but without a threat).
*She wants 70% of income from the sale of the house! Is it possible? I do agree 50/50 after our joint debts are covered.
* My biological son (7years old) surname is under mother's name. She is threating not to give my surname until she will get what's she want.(everything as per above)
* how often I would be able to see son. Would want to get full care or atleast 50/50. She has long medical history of depression.
*She said I may be evicted from house what we both have mortgage for until my son will reach 18year old if she won't get 70% of house sale!!
*Who is responsible for a child care financialy? I do pay fee for after-school and collecting him after work. She is collecting only after her working hours, she is finishing at 2pm so her work is not affected and during her days off in weekdays. I work 9-5.30pm. if I need to collect him I need to arrange (to pay)after-school and leave 30min early from work( what has been noted by my manager it affects my pay).so she is threating me if I won't book childcare on the days she is not able to finish at 2pm, this will be used against me through her solicitors.but it's me who affected financially and my work is affected too. As per her communication
" Everything you do from now on until we get a divorce will effect what happens to your son" it's sounds as a threat!!

Thank you for advise. Definitely will have more questions

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Sad Court order in place, but now denied access to my daughter
Posted by: parmsg - 06-06-2018, 11:56 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (15)

Since I have been out of work last year August 2017, that same month CSA payments stopped. I last saw my child in September 2017. After making further requests to see my child the Ex has denied me having access to my child, excuses are mainly homework. We also have an arrangement  for weekly facetime, which was also denied lately for 3 weeks because of the same excuse homework, strangely this has been allowed back.
I say strangely as I found out my ex had a baby and during the time of facetime being denied that's when the baby was born.

I have had a court order in place since 2012 which allowed me to have my child every other weekend. At the time I just wanted to see my daughter at every opportunity possible no matter what. As time progressed we mutually agreed this setup was getting too much for me. I was traveling in excess of 580 miles (she moved 140 miles away from me) on the weekend I had my daughter, tiredness was kicking in largely for both.

She is now claiming that my relationship has deteriorated with my daughter since she was the one denying me access. However, when I requested to have my daughter literally a month and a half ago there was no mention of this and she happily granting me access. Two days after I got a text saying my daughter had too much homework and unable to attend.

Since solicitor's have been involved she has just made every excuse under the sun. My solicitor states that because the original court order mentioned me having my daughter every other weekend they cannot enforce the order. The variation was mutually agreed, even she made a variation and I was ok with that.

My ex now suggested I travel to where she is and spend half a day a month to build up the relationship. Who would monitor the progression?!

In my opinion, the EX not dealing with packing a suitcase and letting me have my daughter because it's too much for her to cope with, I have also found out her mother is now staying over to help with the baby as she is not coping on her own. (same scenario when we were together) My daughter now has to bed share with the ex's mother.

The interesting thing is, me and my daughter send numerous messages daily lately and I strongly believe she isn't getting the attention she did prior to the baby being born.

Any thoughts on this I would love to hear or experience's on this matter. My solicitor is suggesting CAFCAS as a last resort. Appreciate your time in reading this guys, thank you.

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  Court Order
Posted by: Russell1972 - 06-06-2018, 10:55 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

I have a quite narrow court in place to see my 2 kids - this order is specific about holiday dates, weekend contact and pick up and drop off points.  The order has been in place since Jan 2017 and was arrived at following a wishes and feelings report from Cafcass which the Judge supported in my favour.  I live in Rugby and my kids live in Broadstairs - we have pick up and drop points more or less halfway agreed.  My ex had tried to stop the kids spending time with me in Rugby and tried to insist I stayed in hotels in Broadstairs during every contact.

Contact was fine for a period after the case but more recently breeches have increased significnatly, particularly since the start of this year.  In total there have been 8 breeches of the order since Jan 2017, 4 of which have been this year (a breech meaning I didn't see my kids at all).

At a previous breech (Nov 17) my ex wife said "the judge is wrong" and said that I "probably bribed Cafcass to write the report in my favour".

I am due to have my kids this coming weekend but have just found our that my ex has gone abroad to Egypt for a week and that the grandparents (both in their 80s) are housesitting and looking after my kids in Broadstairs.  The grandparents are of course not able to adhere to the order and nor is it practical for me to do both trips Fri & Sun or stay locally.  So yet again I miss out on seeing my own kids.

I'm having counselling to try to cope with the endless last minute changes etc.  I've spoken to a legal professional who basically said it's pointless to try to do anything about it through the court as they would be unlikely to do anything other that tell her she "really must do her best to adhere to the order".

This can't be right!!  I'm really at my wits end with all of this.  Help!!  Sad

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  Cafcass Positive Parenting Programme
Posted by: Goetia - 06-06-2018, 10:27 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (5)

Hi all. The court has instructed that my ex and me partake in the Cafcass Positive Parenting Programme in a hope we will be able to agree a workable order between us. I do not believe that it will work due to my ex focused purely on how she can hurt me using the children, rather than improve the situation for their sake. However, I will give it my best go.

What I would like to know is whether anyone has done the programme who can tell me what to expect?

My only main concern is that the children are being made party to the proceedings because of this programme, and as the legal advisor in court said himself, this can see a position put forward in court that doesn’t always reflect the children’s true feelings, but rather their own opinion. So thoughts on how to manage this would be welcomed?

We were also quite rightly told not to speak to the children about the process so not to influence them. I know she does this because they do tell me, and she does things like fake crying knowing this upsets them. Any tips on how I manage the obvious emotional influence she will do?

Thanks in advance

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  At my lowest ebb
Posted by: Siamesedream82 - 06-05-2018, 09:32 PM - Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads - Replies (4)

Hi everyone, please bear with me and apologies for the length of this post.

I’ve been a reader of these pages for nearly a year now since my separation from my wife last summer. We have two young children, little girl & a little boy. No one else involved in our separation, we simply grew apart and grew against each other, all sorts of traits and issues, controlling nature, wifes post natal depression and historical depression before we even had our children.
Life together became unbearable for me, I knew that I no longer loved my wife, We tried for a long long time to get along but eventually I realised that she was unwilling to compromise with the issues I had with her, she continually criticised me for everything, from my job (I work shifts & long hours), to my parenting credentials.
She commandeered our children, leaving me very much on the periphery of any meaningful or equal interaction with them.
It all came to a head last summer when I finally decided enough was enough. I didn’t want our children to be living amongst the horrendous atmosphere in the house.
The wife then demanded that I move out the house but continue paying the mortgage and rent my own place. I could not financially afford to do this and suggested that we all remained in the house in the meantime until we sold the house and got a place of our own each.

My ex then left the house with our two children and returned to her hometown which is 200 miles away. For the next 7 months I drove up every week to see the children which was approx a 650 mile round trip taking into account that I had to stay with a family member who loved 50 miles from where my ex had now settled.

Then the games started. She refused to allow me residential contact with our children, citing “concerns” about my ability to parent them. I work in the emergency services & she is a social worker. I couldn’t believe it had come to this.
We tried mediation but this failed spectacularly as she used it as a platform to criticise and attack me. I had no options left but to take her to court to get residential contact which after £6000 in court fees I finally got this as of Nov last year. I then managed to get a transfer with my job near to where my children were now based and I have been renting a property since January.

All sorts of horrendous things have happened in between with false and slanderous accusations and allegations were made by my ex about me as well as innocent members of my family in an attempt by her to discredit and divide us.

Her parents have also been manipulative and operating in the background to make life as difficult for me as possible. Her father helped my ex write one particularly horrendous and false allegation in an email which resulted in an uncle of mine having to threaten court action for slander.

I’m amongst this all, my two young children are in the midst of this bitter mess. Never in a million years did I ever imagine I would end up in this situation.

I now get weekly/fortnightly contact with my children but it’s not enough. My job is very anti social hours and because of the shifts it proves difficult to orchestrate any consistent and more frequent contact.

The days and nights without my children are long and lonesome and I feel my life is empty and almost meaningless without them in it.

My wife simply blames me for everything and takes no ownership of her short comings. I admit that I struggled with fatherhood in the early days, trying to work in a very stressful job dealing with all sorts and then trying to come home and be a Dad and support my wife. I’m only human and I know I have my faults but ultimately I was faithful to my wife, I never abused her or behaved like some partners do yet I’m made to feel like the worst.

Some nights I just don’t know what to do and I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world without the frequent contact that I yearn to have with my children. I just want me and the ex to be reasonable and be able to share parenting equally but she will never allow this due to her controlling nature which was the main reason our marriage fell apart

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Posted by: soof - 06-05-2018, 02:19 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)


i've seperated from my partner and we are due to have our baby in just under two months. She is extremely controlling and will readily feed me false information in order to get the outcome she wants. she has told me that the baby must take her surname and that her lawyer has advised her that is the case, however, the solicitor i saw, the citizens advice and the info on the government website would suggest that it isn't cut and dry and that we must be in agreement about it. we werent married or anything but they all told me that didnt matter in relation to surnames.

does anyone know what the legalities are/ has had any experience of a similar nature?

any help would be HUGELY appreciated.


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  I just want to cry
Posted by: JorgeH - 06-05-2018, 11:13 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (20)

First of all, I think I've posted in the wrong sub-forum (http://www.separateddads.co.uk/forum/thread-6430.html) so I will start doing it in this one.

It's been 5 days (today is the 6th) without being able to see my daughter. I was able to talk to my daughter last Friday the 1st for a couple of minutes. My ex-partner does not respond to text messages, emails or calls. I've attended yesterday Monday the 4th a Mediation Information and Assesment meeting and the mediator has sent an email to my ex-partner telling her that if in 5 days there is none response from her they will sign form C100. 

I know that the best I can do is just wait until see what happen but to be honest I am feeling with anxiety... I am feeling shit not been able to see or speak with my little one. Is there anything I can do? I don't know where is my daughter, I don't know what my ex-partner is doing to her ... I don't know anything.

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  Leave to Remove out of Jurisdiction (UK to Australia)
Posted by: Boo1975 - 06-05-2018, 10:42 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Hi, distraught newbie here:

My ex and I separated in 2007 when my daughter was 7 weeks old; I have PR.  She is now 10, nearly 11.  It took five years in court for me to get the contact I wanted with my ex playing every trick in the book to stall or reduce contact.  Despite living 120 miles away, I've been a big part of my daughter's life and enjoyed regular contact. 

In early 2018, my ex requested my permission to emigrate to Australia, which I refused.  Therefore, she made an application to court.  We attended a FHDRA in April and will return in July after receiving the Section 7 report. 

My ex's reasons to emigrate is to live by her sister who emigrated with her family several years ago and for a better lifestyle!  According to my ex my daughter really wants to go, even though I could not visit due to my health condition.  Cafcass will interview us separately in June.  I have not discussed the situation with my daughter as the Cafcass officer who conducted the initial telephone interview said there was no need to, and to leave it to them.  However, I'm worried my daughter will be getting biased input from my ex about Australia and might think I don't care as we've not spoke about it!  My brain is a mess, as I'm devastated at the prospect of losing her.  Would you suggest I discuss my feelings with my daughter?  I just don't know how to approach it in a subtle or non-tearful way!  Does anyone have any advice regarding this situation or other relocation cases to Australia?

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  Payments above maintenance.
Posted by: angrybutmeasured - 06-05-2018, 08:56 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)

My 5 year litigation has now ended and concluded that I get alternate weekends and holidays. I’d like to take my 2 children away for a holiday. My ex is asking for (more than) the full amount for 2 passports from me. My view is that it should be from the 25% of my wage that I give her every month, this is done through agreement rather than CSA. Does anyone know if this is written officially somewhere?
Typically devious, any on-going discussion will mean that the children don’t get a holiday, so the pressure is for me to pay up.  I can't find anything to say this is her responsibility. Does anyone know anything about this?

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