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  Training Day on Monday?
Posted by: andynumpty - 11-01-2019, 04:32 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)


Just a quick one. It's my weekend with my boy and he has a training Day on Monday.

Usually I would drop him at school and his mum would collect after.

Now, nothing on the recent CAO covers training days.

Am I within my rights to have my son until his mum would usually collect from school?


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  Witness Staement
Posted by: greggs80 - 10-31-2019, 09:24 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (2)

Hi superdads!

I have sent my ex my witness statement (as ordered by the court). However, she has not sent me anything, so far she is two days late. 

Is there anything I can do about it or should I just leave it be?

I am unsure if she has sent it to Cafcass and the court (she is on holiday at the moment. She possibly could have sent it before she went away but I am unsure), should I flag this up?


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  Force House Sale
Posted by: Leader1978 - 10-30-2019, 09:13 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (9)

I've been living in the jointly owned matrimonial home since separation, it is not longer the primary residence of the ex or me as I have relocated to be closer to the kids. 

The mortgage is currently 3 months in arrears and the ex is refusing to contact the mortgage provider to agree a concession on the current payments, the lender needs her consent to agree a lower payment with me as she is a joint owner of the debt.  I obtained 3 valuations from estate agents which all valued at the same price, I sent these to the ex and asked her to provide her relevant details to the estate agent so the property can be marketed - they need this information given she is a joint owner. 

I have sent her all letters received from the lender so that she cannot raise any issues later.  Not sure of the ex's position here given she will lose any equity that she is entitled to if the bank is to repossess. 

Is anyone aware on the process to force sale of the house, I don't think this will fall under the usual financial order submission to the family court given that would take a while and I need to put the house on the market and get it sold before any repossession proceedings are started by the lender. 

I have been made aware that I would need to obtain a CCJ via the County Court but am not sure about this.  For background, the ex is refusing to discuss with me, the lender and her solicitor is not responding to any of my emails on this matter.

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  Child Immunisation
Posted by: GlasgowDad - 10-30-2019, 06:13 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (2)

Apologies if this is the wrong place.

It is obviously coming up to flu season and kids between 2 and 4 can get a flu spray in Scotland (not sure if elsewhere)

I have asked ex-partner if daughter is to get spray, she said no because she got it last year and was distressed.
I have replied to this and stated I will take her so she has vaccine and mum doesn't need to see her being stressed.
this has been replied with no, she does not want daughter to get stressed and as it is not mandatory she is not to get it.

I want her to get the immunisation. No doubt ex-partner is saying this just to be opposite from me.

my question is does anyone know if I go and take her anyway if there is anything against this or is it a grey area?

I am aware of a case last year that this was argued in court and the court ruled in favour of the girl having the vaccine as it was in her best interests. 

hopefully someone can help.


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  Joint mortgage
Posted by: Sb1353 - 10-29-2019, 05:16 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (13)

Separated from ex last August. She moved out and I stayed in family home. She contributed none to a joint mortgage. There are no communication between us( I tried but she refused so I stopped). Fixed mortgage coming to an end and I cannot fix it anymore as it would need her to sign the documents. That means interest will variable and I will end up paying £400 more than what I am currently paying in interest. I tried to speak with the bank but they can’t help.
Has anyone else been in this situation before? Is there anything I can do?

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  New Partner / Spousal Maintenance
Posted by: SteveyA - 10-29-2019, 02:53 PM - Forum: New Partners, Relationships - Replies (3)

Hi all

My ex-wife had an affair 2 years ago and is still with this guy who regularly stays over at the former marital home even when my children are present.  

I have settled my divorce and agreed to pay £250 per month spousal maintenance over 3 years (£3k per year).   She has stated via solicitors & on the consent order that she has no intention of co-habiting but I know he stays over at least 3-4 nights a week.  My children also confirm he makes terrible porridge!!

I don't care he stays there but I transferred the house to her for a small lump sum to safe guard the kids and on the assumption it would be for her and the children as a single mum, not to set them up.  

The agreement is spousal maintenance ends if she co-habits for 3 months but other than knowing he stays over a few nights a week, how could I possibly prove he is co-habiting??

He won't ever be on bills, council tax or electoral etc and would support her with cash / buying groceries etc.  I haven't yet but would rather stop the spousal maintenance payments but this would be a breach of the signed consent order and I have no physical evidence to prove otherwise.  

I would rather have the £9k in my bank over 3 years than hers!!!

Any advice would be welcome.  

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  CMS giving away salary details
Posted by: civic4 - 10-28-2019, 10:25 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (5)

So my ex wife was moaning about CMS payments again and asking what I do with my money. I'm not sure why as it gone up £50 a month. I was shocked when she sent me a copy of pretty much same letter I got with my yearly earnings and my average weekly pay which varies as I do stupid amount of hours in summer. It caused a load more arguments, and she reckons I should still paying more my kids, bear in mind I still have bills and a mortgage to pay for.

Are CMS aloud to do this?

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  Wife gone to CMS . . .
Posted by: takethemike - 10-28-2019, 08:31 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (4)

My ex and I have a joint bank account which was £5k overdrawn and the bank put it on "not operational" but even so, the charges and debt costs were circa £90pcm, and it was at the point where we were told that sooner or later they would close it, and demand their money- so I thought the debt is a debt and why are we paying £90pcm on the debt- it is crazy- so I paid it all off using a credit card with a 0% balance.

I had been paying her £650pcm in maintenance, for 3 children, and I had never, and would never shirk away from my responsibility, even though she restricts the amount of time the children can stay over with me, they do stay Fri and Sat night every other weekend, and more nights during the week too. So when I paid off the overdraft, I told her I would reduce the maintainence to £570 per month, and I would use her £70 and mine to pay off the credit card debt. A solution I thought was reasonable.

I then get a letter from the CMS saying she has contacted them, and they seem to have used a figure of £52360- even though £4600 of this was car allowance, and also, I have the children at least 76 nights per year, and  last years figure also included bonus payments, which this year I have not earned at all- which my payslips can evidence. So the CMS have worked out a figure of £9548.94 per year, which is £795.75 per month. An extra £225.75 per month. 

As the CMS don't (I believe) take into account benefits the mother may be on, this means that even though she is denying the children more time with me, even though I would like for them to spend more time with me.

Any and all advice appreciated, thanks in advance.

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  is my ex being unreasonable? Advice needed
Posted by: SimonMT - 10-27-2019, 10:47 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (1)

Ok a bit of history, seperated 2013 divorced 2015 2 daughters now aged 6 and 8 I live in Berkshire ex lives Hampshire

January this year I suffered a massive heart attack and while in hospital begged my ex to bring the children to see me and would have arranged transport via a freind as she doesnt drive, her response "I would find the journey too difficult" so I didnt get to see the kids which at the time was heart breaking for me as I honestly didnt know if I was going to make it.
Clock forward to February, ex ends up in hospital with scepsis of the leg and I end up having to stay at her house (something which I was very uncomfortable with) as the kids had school, next thing she is phoning me from the hospital saying she misses the kids and could I take them to see her which I did even though I felt she was being very hypocytical.

Next thing I know shes meeting me at the door, ie she doesnt want me in her house which in itself is fine by me, however then she gets an appointment on a thursday but my eldest is off school sick so "could I go and sit with her at her house while she goes to her appointment" so she was prepared to let me in her house because she was stuck, I denied the request as I had a hospital appointment that day.

Now, I have the children every second weekend via court order and longer in the holidays by mutual agreement.
xmas has always been me going down and spending the day with them at her home but now all of a sudden this year she wants the kids xmas day and me to have them boxing day which is something im not happy about as xmas day is special and if she cant put her differences aside then its a bad thing, My youngests birthday is before xmas and as yet im not sure what she is going to say about that as its a weekday, she wont allow me in the house so how am I supposed to see her to giver a present, im sure as hell not missing her birthday ON THE DAY as I hve always been there in the past

when the kids are here she demands a phonecall at bedtime so she can say goodnight so in effect she is on contact every single day, now she wants facetime calls which ive suggested in the past as a means for me to see the kids which she has always refused.
I also found out tonite that the the reason I dont get a daily bedtime call from my girls is that she will not allow them to ring me and for me this is the final straw

We have been apart 6 years yet she still seems to hold a grudge, double standards and uses the kids to get her own way and this had GOT to stop NOW!!
Im at my wits end and need to stay calm because of my heart condition but tonight ended up taking my spray as I got so wound up and had chest pains because of finding out she wont allow my girls to call me.

I really need to sort this but facing her directly isnt an option as it gets me nowhere (Ive asked for bedtime calls before to no avail) so its either back to my old solicitor who dealt with the case but I know I can no longer obtain legal aid despite not working off long term sick / disabled, or social service again to try and obtain mediation?

anyother advice im all ears

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  Advice on indirect contact
Posted by: samim1919 - 10-25-2019, 10:39 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - No Replies

Please share your experience how to conduct indirect contact I sent the first letter asked how are you which school are you going and nursary?
I haven't heard anything back from them yet.
Next month will be due the next indirect contact no clue what say or send? Please help me with this guys many thanks.

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