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  False allegations, alcohol testing, breach of agreements and Cafcass - feeling lost!
Posted by: Londoniandad - 07-05-2018, 08:18 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

Bit of  a long story, but then again most stories on here are long and that doesn't seem to deter people from offering advice and support so here goes.

Myself and my ex split a while ago and there have been issues ever since, in the sense that she can't move on and wants me to suffer for leaving - a sentiment she has stated to myself and our two children (two girls one who is 4 and one is about to turn 7).

She has consistently accused me of being an alcoholic and stated that the children aren't safe when with me - but has allowed me to have the children 2 - 4 nights a week for the past 2 years.

We went to court last week who, as a result of her allegations of DV and my alcohol abuse have order a section 7 report, which I expected. We also agreed that I would see the children every Tuesday and Friday, picking up from school/nursery and dropping them off at school/nursery on Wednesdays and then at hers on Saturdays - I was happy with this in the short term as it meant almost no contact between us, but since then she's constantly picking the kids up before me or insisting I drop them off with her before school, which I've emailed Cafcass to ask for advice, but they've not replied. 

My ex also has asked for me to do a hair strand test, which I agreed to, and in the future will likely ask for a liver function test.

I'm worried about the hair strand test as it shows an average and when I don't have the children I tend to binge drink/social drink and considering at the moment she's reduced my contact to two nights a week then my drinking is more than average. That being said, I never drink when I have the children.

I'm really worried that the results aren't going to go in my favour and that my ex will falsely use any positives to support her case, which at the minute looks flimsy to Cafcass, my solicitor and the courts. How do I prove that I don't drink when I have the kids - she wants me to go to her house and do a breathalyser but as I have been a victim of domestic abuse from her and also been consistently accused of the same, then I want to limit my contact with her to an absolute minimum to avoid putting myself or my children at risk.

I did a Thriva blood test, following a birthday weekend, which wasn't the best idea. My results stated that my Gamma GT (GGT) levels were  132.0 IU/L and said: This level is slightly raised. Gamma GT (GGT) level is increased for several possible reasons. There are a number of conditions which might lead to an increased GGT, the most common of which is alcohol abuse. If you have been drinking heavily, you should reduce it now, as further drinking will harm you liver even further. However, it is also possible that you could have mild liver damage due to fatty liver disease. This will be due to your diet, and the condition can be reversed by improving your diet and levels of exercise.

This has me somewhat worried as I'm not sure if it's indicative that I'm going to fail the test and I'm also worried that it's a sign that my hair stand test is not going to go well either.

I'm a teacher, and spend all my week with children. I've never had a safeguarding issue raised against me and my ex's claims are entirely bogus, but these results and my work hard/play hard lifestyle has me worried that my ex's allegations are going to ring true - has anyone been through anything similar or can try and put me at ease. I'm obviously not going to drink between now and my test, but as it checks the last 3 months, I'm worried this may be too little too late.  I'm also worried that after checking, my hair gel, my body wash and shampoo all contain some form of alcohol/ethanol - could this be bad?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you've made it to the end - feeling stressed and alone so any advice/support would be greatly appreciated.

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  Child Overseas Travel Without Consent
Posted by: Bluesintown - 07-05-2018, 06:14 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (7)

Dear Members,

Too much happening so you may see different post in different sections.

My wife is travelling overseas to her parents with our little one. i do not have issues but I have asked her to provide me inbound/outbound travel dates with scanned ticket copies. But beside several request she is not giving me.

So I need to understand what are my options?

Initially she said few weeks now she says 3 months. I just need clarity.


Please can some one help and tell me what should I do?

Thanks in Advance

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  Court Order for House Sale
Posted by: gompstomp78 - 07-05-2018, 03:40 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (1)

Afternoon

September last year my wife told me that our marriage was over, this came as a massive shock to me and I did not seeing it coming at all. We have 3 kids-1 9year old old and 5year old twins.

I chose to leave the house in the November to live with my friends, I then stopped paying any money in for the mortgage but paid her maintence.

I then moved into rented accomadtion in March this year, she has filed for divorce but going through solictors for my money from the house.

House is worth £370k the mortgage outstanding is £110k. Her parents gave us 80k to help buy this house (THEY ARE NOT NAMED ON THE MORTGAGE OR ANYTHING).

She has offered me £50K?! payable when the twins reach 13! My solitors and I have gone back and said no, ideally I want a lump sum now and then another lump sum when twins turn 13.

Ex wife has now said she will pay me £30K now and then £20k when twins are 13.

I now want to take her to court to force the sale of the house and get my capital now so I can then buy a house for me. Currently in a 2 bed apartment with no garden which I;m sure you will agree is a bit tight especially when the kids stay.

I have them every Wednesday and Friday night and every other weekend.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

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  Child Maintenance Calculations Dispute
Posted by: Bluesintown - 07-05-2018, 03:31 PM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (3)

Dear Members,

I need advice on what should I do if i have different calculation to what CMS has calculated?

I received the CMS letter yesterday which takes into account my last year income in P60 + Company car benefit. Last year I had one off bonus payment which ballooned my gross salary which I normally do not get.

I spoke to CMS they said this is the number HMRC gave and HMRC said you need to talk to CMS so I am kind of stuck in middle.

Therefore this year my income is less even if I take into account company car benefit. So please can you advice what should I be doing?

To add I was shocked to know company car benefit is included my income which I never see.

Please HELP!!!!

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  Allowed to have my sons hair cut ?
Posted by: wilson2018 - 07-05-2018, 03:01 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (9)

Ok guys my first post on here and i was wondering if someone could tell me if i'm legally in the right, or if she is correct in saying what shes saying. I will give you the story.

So i was at a Christening on Saturday with my Daughter (the eldest and my son), i was godfather so wanted the kids to look smart, got my son a little river island outfit..... his hair constantly hanging over his ears and looking like a butcher has cut it. I decided to take him for a cut he sat on my knee and watched me get mine done then he done the same....... no problems at all. i simply just wanted him to look nice, at the time i didn't realise i was doing anything wrong.
As soon as i got him ready i sent her a picture just saying how cool our son looked...... i then got bombarded with messages for the next 24 hours saying i had no right to get his haircut as she says she has parental responsibility and SHE makes the decisions not me, constantly speaks to me like dirt on her shoe.

So when i dropped him off i was getting him out his car seat, when she come out i said he had eaten like a little good one and he maybe tired as he had been playing with the other kids. I went to the boot of the car and i just received a load of abuse from her and her mother about his hair, I could see they were after a bite so i said look not infront of the kids got in my car and drove off. when i got home i had a message saying i still had his cap and that i needed to bring it back, the cap was forgotten about while i was trying to get away form the argument they were trying to cause. I refused and said she could come collect it if she wished or i would give it back this weekend(although he does have a number of other caps).

she is now saying if i get his haircut again she will stop my contact and get a solicitor, she also saying i need to bring my own clothes and change him before i drive away (even though all the clothes i buy go back with him so he gets more use out of them)

I pay my maintenance, i beg to see him more often but i'm constantly made to feel like the lesser person. Constantly being told i'm not doing enough or paying enough (all done through CSA) Currently at the lowest point I've ever felt constant arguments about nothing .. Sad

so what im saying is.... am i allowed to have his hair cut. 


Thanks in advance

ps: she asks for atleast 10 pictures in the space of 24 hours when hes with me, if i don't send them she threatens to pick him up..... is this normal?

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  Legal jargon help!
Posted by: daddy2elc - 07-05-2018, 02:18 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (4)

I recently had to submit an enforcement order to get contact up and running again but I am confused by a point made in the court order. Contact was resumed at a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment. Can anyone help please?

It says: 

"(It is ordered that) 3) The Father's application for an enforcement order is adjourned generally with liberty to restore and if not restored by 4.00 pm 17 June 2019 shall stand struck out."

What does this mean?

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  My outcome
Posted by: Drayton359 - 07-05-2018, 02:13 PM - Forum: Your Court Results/Outcomes - Replies (3)

Not long been in from court, seemed to go well, didn't get a court order as ex suddenly became cooperative so agreed to sort out contact between us.

Think she knew I was going to get  what I wanted so folded.

I agreed every other Saturday for a couple of hours and look to increase later on, during hols I have contact in the week that I don't normally see my daughter.

Starting in the new school term I will pick her up from school and take her to have dinner.

Contact on boxing day for the moment but will discuss having her on christmas day at a later point, i could have pushed it a bit more but I my daughter is only 5 and enjoy's christmas with her sisters, and I don't drive so no public transport on Christmas.

Also will talk about daughter having sleep overs next year, Cafcass did recommend more time but think its best to keep it short and then build up on that so its not a strain on both me and my daughter.

Did say to Judges, (yes there was 3, was a bit of a shock as wasn't expecting that) that if ex does stop contact again then I be back to court, thought about making it an order but felt it would look better on me to say that I tried but she didn't, at least she knows I am serious and hope she will stick to what we have agreed, I am a bit worried as she said my daughter is stressed and starting to get ill on the weekends, that she will use that as an excuse for me not to see my daughter. She has taken daughter to GP about this but he just going on what ex has said and found nothing wrong medically.

Well I guess I see how it goes, hopefully she wont mess me about as she knows I will take her back to court.

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  Compliance with financial order
Posted by: dsenart - 07-05-2018, 02:05 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - No Replies

My ex and I have as part of our financial order she must pay me £12,000 and I believe the terms said something like whichever is the furthest away 3 months after absolving the marriage or 1 year of the financial order.

The financial order will be 1 year old within the next 2 weeks and she hasn't paid me yet. 

She has started the process of refinancing the house which in theory should give her the money she owes me (and gets my name off the mortgage finally!) But I am not sure it's going to happen in time.

Is there anything I can do about her not complying with the financial order?

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  rights?!
Posted by: fatherof4 - 07-05-2018, 06:13 AM - Forum: New Partners, Relationships - Replies (3)

hi all,

In a nutshell:
- Kicked out by ex because she "fell out of love"
- Moved in with parents and continued to pay all bills (mortgage / household / car etc) for 10 months (still paying!)
- Ex had a "new boyfriend" within months of me moving out (although been told it's been going on for up to 4 yrs)
- Residential agreement in place with the children - 50/50

My issue....
Whilst she is still holding out for a large £ (she's claiming 50% of the equity in the house - although she hasn't paid a penny - but her name is on the house) - she won't move out until i give her £££.

The "new" boyfriend was introduced early to the children (all primary school age) and he now owns a new house. The ex has taken the children there to show their new house...

I'm not 100% convinced (at all!) that:
A > The children want to live with him when they are with the mother
B > That he wants them around
C > That they will last long-term (there is a 15 year age gap, he lives a selfish lifestyle and a renowned womaniser)

What advice would you give me as to move forward/share my concerns?

I'm finding it difficult/impossible to ask the children what they feel about everything - because I know they're as sad about the situation as myself - perhaps there is somebody they could talk to (independently)?

Of course when/if i question something like this to the ex I get accused of being bitter/jealous/sad/unstable... this isn't the case - i only want my house back and "happy" children.

At the end of the day - she chose to walk away from 15 years, 4 children for a WAG lifestyle with a sugar-daddy!

My solicitor is on annual leave for another week, so would like to have some opinions before I meet up with her.

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  What are your house outcomes
Posted by: Rawman68 - 07-05-2018, 12:54 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)

My wife has said i have no problems with seeing the children however she wants to keep the house.
1. It is. a joint mortgage.
2. This is our second house in twelve years.

She says that l should not get anything for the house

Has Anyone had any good outcomes from a divorce when it comes to the house as l want to get money from the house so l can live nearby.

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