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Contact issues
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
Yesterday, 07:37 PM
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Medical issues I know not...
Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders
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Starting a divorce proces...
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Complete mess and don't k...
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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09-20-2019, 10:46 PM
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Decree Absolute
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Parental Alienation
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
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Instructed my solicitor f...
Forum: Your Stories, Advice to Recently Separated Dads
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CMS always busy?
Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc
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09-19-2019, 09:57 PM
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In the thick of it
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
09-19-2019, 09:27 PM
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Help please
Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements
Last Post: Charlie7000
09-18-2019, 06:49 PM
» Replies: 30
» Views: 5,087

  ex's solicitor bill
Posted by: Naive - 07-18-2019, 01:06 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

I'm assuming the ex's solicitor will bill the ex every time they email me or I email them?

Im trying to resist the urge to run her bill up every time she causes trouble.

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  Position statement
Posted by: Alibash - 07-18-2019, 12:06 PM - Forum: THE LOUNGE - Replies (10)

I am on direct access basis with my barrister and with no lawyer. I need to file my position statement and I am not sure how:
1. How do I exchange my stmt with other side ? Do we agree by email if we both are ready to exchange and simply send emails with attachments to each other?
2. How do I file my statement at court? Just post it to court with covering letter and case ref or is there any thing else I need to do?
Thank you

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  Ex refusing to give details of holiday
Posted by: Naive - 07-18-2019, 11:48 AM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (10)

Ex wants to change her contact time so she can take child on holiday, perfectly happy about it but I asked her to let me know address, flights and travel insurance details. {as has always been agreed}
Shes not "refused" exactly but just keeps arguing, the usual lies, "I havent booked it yet" "dont know the details" etc etc.

Ive asked for the proposed details but shes still playing games.

Im thinking of emailing her solicitor and saying their client is being difficult and have it recorded that I dont agree to the change in the order until this simple info is supplied. Id like to suggest we go for a specific issue order to identify her reluctance in supplying this info. Its just the address [country] flight numbers and travel insurance. Its always been agreed to supply this.

She doesnt have to ask permission to go on holiday but she does to change the order and she hates it. Shes trying to prove she can do whatever she wants.

Any advice?

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  Reducing Maintenance - ethics
Posted by: SteveyA - 07-18-2019, 09:53 AM - Forum: Child Maintenance, Finances etc - Replies (6)

Hi guys

I have an agreement to pay £1,150 per month maintenance to my ex.  This is stretching me and I have decided to quit my rental and move back to my mums for a period of time whilst I get back on my feet.  

I currently pay myself £60-70k a year through my business at a stretch but I pay a higher rate tax and it's why the maintenance is high.  When I move back in with my mum with minimal rent costs, I could easily survive paying myself £40-44k per year to avoid higher tax and retain any excess / surplus income in the business for a rainy day or if there is a downturn.  

Problem is, this will reduce the maintenance to around £550-600 a month and I know she will struggle with this.

In your opinion, is this ethical or I am being shrewd?    


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  Cafcass interview
Posted by: Blackheath - 07-18-2019, 09:19 AM - Forum: Outside Involvement, CAFCASS etc - Replies (3)

So I've got my S7 coming up , already had a brief phone interview and will meet for a face to face next week. They want to see me with my child also but because I only have her at the weekends and cafcass don't work then , they will see us somewhere in the area where she lives . I really want them to see her here in a familiar and comfortable environment, she has her own room etc and they could see how comfortable and great it is. Also cafcass asked me if I thought my child would cope with the extra holiday time I'm asking for? I'm only asking for half of the school hols and honestly my little one has no issues staying here , she loves it and doesn't ever even mention her mum the whole weekend. But what is the best way to answer that question if they ask it again ? , and I know they will as the ex has already put in her statement she doesn't think our daughter would cope. Of course she would cope , I thought it was a silly question really , but I want to say the right thing . Any advice ? Thanks

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  Final Hearing opinions and advice!
Posted by: Akarou - 07-15-2019, 05:21 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (5)

Hi everyone,

I was hoping to get other people's either experience or opinions on this matter.
I am due to attend court for my final hearing on Friday the 19th July to settle the Child Arrangements order, and my Ex-Wife is still trying to block any fair access to my children.

Basically to put things into a couple of summaries to get everyone up to speed with the case:
• Children taken by Mother when she moved to Stoke on Trent in February 2018.
• Contact was stopped by Ex-Wife on false accusations.
• False accusations disproved and contact reinstated in a contact centre.
• January saw contact progress to the community. Family allowed to be reintroduced.
• April, court ordered overnight weekends back in Portsmouth and for my partner to be introduced to children.

In the last hearing in April Cafcass agreed to supporting a fair split of the holidays, exactly half. They also supported regular overnights in accordance to my work rota.

Now my work rota is that I work 6 shifts on (3 days, 3 nights) and then 3 days off. I originally pressed the court to allow me to have the children on every alternate set of my shift pattern that I was rostered off to have the children overnight in Portsmouth, which they did order as my children are only in nursery, and is not compulsory education.
However, my Ex-Wife pleaded for me to change my stance as she would lose public funding and my children's places in nursery. I changed my stance and worked to find a pattern that would allow the children to stay in nursery for their educational needs.
So now I see the children 3 weekends in a 9 week cycle. Specifically weekends 4, 5 and 9 in that pattern before it repeats again. I also had to have my employer sacrifice two of my working shifts to accommodate this pattern otherwise I would only see my children once every 9 weeks.

Now that everyone is up to speed with the current standing on everything my Ex-Wife is still presenting the following problems.
She is refusing to support me having a fair split of the school holiday periods with the children, something Cafcass supports me having based on the fact that she believes and is adamant that I should be the sole carer of my children.
I only have 20 days holiday a year and that is nowhere near enough to allow me to book time off, in order to have them for every holiday as she demands. I have proposed that the children should be allowed to be cared for by my family and partner also during some of these periods, as they are able and willing to take annual leave to do so in order to help while I work so I can provide.
My children have strong relationships with my partner and my family and my ex wife is trying to state that they should not be allowed to see the children unless they are in my care. Hilariously enough however, my partner and mother are caring for the children alone while we attend court on the 19th. No different to as they would during half the holidays.

So surely if Cafcass have recommended this then she should be supportive especially as I have been flexible enough to arrange my rota to allow my children access to their nurseries before primary education! It seems that I am the only one who is being child focused between the two of us and I am trying to be an advocate for my children by encouraging that they should have bonds and time with all of their family, not just myself.

Bearing in mind that there is 220 miles between us and a round trip of 8 hours driving, surely it should be endorsed that the children do have the fair split of the holidays, despite what my ex wife wants. Otherwise I am only seeing the children for a total of 16 weekends a year with up to a month between some visits. So surely half the holidays are required to maintain good relationships?

What is everyone else's opinions?


• Ex Wife is being obstructive.
• Cafcass recommends half holidays and overnights on weekends along with splits of birthdays and Christmas.
• Ex wife wants me to be sole carer
• Ex wife doesn't want my family or partner to be allowed to care for children while I work.
• Ex wife is denying half holidays based on her own opinion and wants.
• I have a work rota of 3 days 3 nights 3 off and see the children 3 weekends in a 9 week cycle without half the holidays.

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  Housing application assistance.
Posted by: Goetia - 07-15-2019, 07:46 AM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (6)

I feel I have just been discriminated against because I am a father, so I would appreciate anyone’s tips or advice on what steps to take next.

 I live in social housing, but my family ideally needs a larger home, we are at least 1 bedroom over crowed and that is with people sharing who shouldn’t.

As in another thread, I now get child benefit for one of my children, so our application has that child on. Yet the local authority have turned around and said they won’t count that child because they know I am a separated Dad so they can be considered adequality homed with his mum…

I have full 50/50 shared care, I have the child benefit payment for them. The housing rules state they only count children if you are in receipt of the child benefit because that is their only way of knowing the residence, but because they know my ex, they have used “discretion” to say the child can be adequality homed.

IF a random family separated today, and the father stayed in the family home, and the mum applied for housing with the child benefit in her name, they wouldn’t ask her how many bedrooms the Dad has, they wouldn’t tell her she can’t claim for them because of the Dad, they would help her without question.

Yet as I am male and a father, they can choose to ignore the child benefit rule…  it all seems completely unfair and discriminatory. All advice welcome

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  Child arrangements order - resident vs contact
Posted by: Ric134 - 07-14-2019, 11:22 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (6)

Have I got this this right....
 there are two types of child arrangements orders?, one that states with whom the child should live and the other is contact with whom,  when and where?

Reason I ask is I'm seeing this quoted everywhere "You can take the child abroad for 28 days without getting permission if a child arrangements order says the child must live with you"
Now the cao I have doesn't state or mention that at all even though child does indeed live with ex-partner so does the ex-partner need my permission to take child out the country still even if it is less than 28 days and provide details of said location? Or can she take child as quoted above?


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  Address for Child
Posted by: hicky67 - 07-11-2019, 05:10 PM - Forum: Fathers’ Rights, Legal Info, Court Orders - Replies (10)

Hi all.

Sorry if this is covered elsewhere.

My Ex has moved house with our daughter (17) and won't tell me the new address.  There are no issues concerning abusive behaviour etc, we separated and are now divorced.

my daughter rarely replies to facebook messages (I don't have her phone number) but occasionally I get a short reply.  I recently sent her birthday card and asked if she got it  - said no so I asked if they'd moved she said yes (good job I didnt put money  in it!) I asked her for address and she said for me to ask her mother.
I did and got reply on 2nd one - saiying its up to my daughter as she doesnt want to have anything to do with me.  
I'm wary of asking my daughter as I think D doesnt want to upset Ex if she gives it to me.

Any advice? Do I have any rights to know her address as she is U18?


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  Child abduction
Posted by: Marky207 - 07-11-2019, 05:10 PM - Forum: Contact & Residence Issues, Problems with Child Arrangements - Replies (4)

I’ll keep it brief - my ex has taken my child abroad without my consent and defied the court order (I was actually meant to take my daughter away at the same time but couldn’t get into court due to costs). I am angry and haven’t heard from my daughter in over a week - I know what country she is in but don’t know where exactly and also don’t know what airport she has flown from and when she is due back. Is there anything I can do about this in terms or border control so she is questioned on the way back from her holiday? I’ve read what she has done is child abduction. Would appreciate thoughts.

Thank you

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