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Divorce coming - Probabilities to reach 50/50 child custody
#21
(03-16-2017, 11:51 AM)LTCDAD Wrote: Choose a solicitor that can support you objectives

Shortlist at least 3 and interview them... if you want to protect your access to you kids ... it will be different style to one who wants to reduce your financial libaility

Get recommendations

in your situation a female solicitor would offer good balance in court

That's exactly what I did: I add an initial consultation with 3 different ones, 2 women and 1 man.

The one who seems to be more aligned with my objectives is one of the women, that's the one who left me the best impression always focusing on trying to amicably reach agreements, but she's also the most expensive of the 3, thus my question...
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#22
This is so similar to my case I felt like I was reading my own story.

50-50 arrangement is almost impossible to get through the courts in the UK and I found this the hard, expensive way. The judges like to know where the children will be most of the time, in one place.

In my case, I was the one with a flexible job and the one who brings them home from school everyday, my home not hers. But because I had moved out she was the resident parent. We had an agreement of 2 nights a week with my wife where the kids stayed with me. I wanted more in order to avoid having to take the kids to hers every evening after 6pm and unsettling them. In court we got two older male judges, white middle class stuck in their ways and traditions. To be honest I had no chance.

In any case, I got an order which specifies "children live with both parents" and 3 nights a week plus half of all holidays. She is still the resident parent which is fine I guess.

The system is still heavily stacked against fathers and whoever tells you otherwise is dreaming. You have a much better chance with a younger, more modern minded judge.

But anyway, try and come to an agreement between you and avoid paying expensive solicitor fees. Good luck.

One more thing. Keep a detailed diary of when your daughter stays with you, how many nights a week, and every contact etc. Collect evidence too if you can.

Judges like to preserve the status quo for the sake of the child. So if you can show that she already stays with you a few nights a week than that is great.

Also, if you agree and draw up an order, make sure to specify "children live with both parents" and include "half of all holidays".
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#23
I saw the solicitor today to discuss options and strategies.

I will go the soft way first: will try to agree 50/50 amicably, according to me it will work out, will be much cheaper and will not piss her off (even though I'm still not convinced it will be the best for my daughter and I must admit I have serious concerns there).

If she doesn't agree and want to make it difficult then we will go ahead and apply for residency (I'm not giving all the details on here but the solicitor came up with an excellent idea to justify to the court why we will be heading the residency way).

Based on all the details I gave her, the solicitor opinion is that there is a strong chance to get residency if we have to go that way, the thing is it will get messy and not really nice...
In the worst case she believes a court would easily award 50/50.

Just need to take the first step now... Sad
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#24
Sounds like you are in an almost exacthe scenario as myself except my wife (soon to be ex) has applied to be main carer with me only having kids every other weekend and half holidays and move their school

We both currently have them 7 nights each one bi-weekly so as good as equally and 50/50. I also still reside in family home she moved out to a different town away from kids and there school to live with another guy. I have flexible working so could have them full time plus I have a family support network to lean on. She has nothing. Kids both settled at very good school and a great network of friends.

Be interesting how we both come out of this...

Good luck!
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#25
(03-22-2017, 06:25 PM)boyce57 Wrote: Sounds like you are in an almost exacthe scenario as myself except my wife (soon to be ex) has applied to be main carer with me only having kids every other weekend and half holidays and move their school

We both currently have them 7 nights each one bi-weekly so as good as equally and 50/50. I also still reside in family home she moved out to a different town away from kids and there school to live with another guy. I have flexible working so could have them full time plus I have a family support network to lean on. She has nothing. Kids both settled at very good school and a great network of friends.

Be interesting how we both come out of this...

Good luck!

Based on the situation you described, I don't believe she will get it...


In my case it looks like my wife is OK for 50/50 (1 week on 1 week off), but we still live together so how shall I proceed now?
Shall I instruct the solicitor to prepare the court order and wait for it to be legally binding before moving out and finalizing divorce?
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#26
(03-23-2017, 09:47 AM)mcnl Wrote:
(03-22-2017, 06:25 PM)boyce57 Wrote: Sounds like you are in an almost exacthe scenario as myself except my wife (soon to be ex) has applied to be main carer with me only having kids every other weekend and half holidays and move their school

We both currently have them 7 nights each one bi-weekly so as good as equally and 50/50. I also still reside in family home she moved out to a different town away from kids and there school to live with another guy. I have flexible working so could have them full time plus I have a family support network to lean on. She has nothing. Kids both settled at very good school and a great network of friends.

Be interesting how we both come out of this...

Good luck!

Based on the situation you described, I don't believe she will get it...


In my case it looks like my wife is OK for 50/50 (1 week on 1 week off), but we still live together so how shall I proceed now?
Shall I instruct the solicitor to prepare the court order and wait for it to be legally binding before moving out and finalizing divorce?

Exact words of my solicitor "she has an uphill battle".  It's a real shame some people out there don't truly consider the children's best interests but only their own and normally driven by financial gain.
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#27
(03-22-2017, 06:25 PM)boyce57 Wrote: Sounds like you are in an almost exacthe scenario as myself except my wife (soon to be ex) has applied to be main carer with me only having kids every other weekend and half holidays and move their school

We both currently have them 7 nights each one bi-weekly so as good as equally and 50/50. I also still reside in family home she moved out to a different town away from kids and there school to live with another guy. I have flexible working so could have them full time plus I have a family support network to lean on. She has nothing. Kids both settled at very good school and a great network of friends.

Be interesting how we both come out of this...

Good luck!

Sounds like the status quo is in your favour.

The biggest thing against you is the existing bias that mothers are natural care givers and the judges' reluctance to take kids from their mother. I know on paper it is not supposed to be like that but "what is best for the children" is a complete red herring in my experience.

Good luck and I hope you get your children.
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