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Looking for advice.
#1
Hi,

I recently moved out of the (rented) family home, and I'm a bit unsure about how to proceed with matters regarding my marriage. I have tried to get some info online, but I admit that I am confused about the best way to go forward.

I have been married for 12 years, but things began to break down a few years ago. We have two children together, and this has made it very difficult for me to make the decision to move out. To complicate matters further, she does not work full time; she is self-employed but only part time. 

For the sake of simplicity, I will list the issues I am having right now, in the hope that someone can help with some advice.

1. My ex tells me that the Council has not made a decision on Housing Benefit. The landlord of her property is holding me liable for the rent (which I have been paying for the past two months) until she works full time and/or the housing benefit comes through. No time frame given by the Council regarding the latter.

2. Since we have two children, I have been told that I cannot go for a divorce without first having gone through mediation. Is this really the case? We have no assets between us and no savings. 

3. I am hoping to be divorced as soon as possible, so that there is a sense of finality to all this, and the sharing of children can be confirmed. How long does a divorce usually take?

4. (This may be a question better asked in an employment law forum!) I work shifts including nights within the NHS, but I foresee a lot of difficulty in fitting the children in to my work picture. Does anyone have experience of having made work/life balance requests in their job? Do I, as a single parent or separated father, have any rights at all in this matter?

There are a few more questions swirling around in my head, but these are the key issues Im trying to juggle right now.

I'd really appreciate any input in this, because I am keen to move ahead with Life, because I fear falling into a rut and not being able to get out. Undecided

Thank you, in advance, for any replies.

M
Reply
#2
Restart,

Yes you must go through mediation - like you, I thought I wouldnt need to - but I had to (like everyone around here).

A divorce can take a while, it all depends on all sorts of things, have you done financial disclosure, are the child arrangements in place? Once thats all done and dusted your looking at around 6ish months to be free.

With regards to a work/life balance in your job (DISCLOSURE - I am an Ex-Union Rep), you can make a formal request to your employer for flexible working to ensure that you can have quality time with your children, however, your employer is not duty bound to accept this, though most employers will make a reasonable attempt to do so. If you have a union where you are, you would be best to join it - most unions wont let you take a complaint/grievance/question until about three months into your membership - so this would give you time to prepare for your Flexible Working request and have it turned down (if it is), and then ask the Union to assist you in having it overturned.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
Reply
#3
Welcome Restart

I will answer the ones i know and others will come back over next 24 hours - its a really responsive forum but no-one is lawyer so its experience and advice

1. Someone else will chip in with that

2. Yep - start mediation as soon as possible - as yo have no financial things to discuss, you'll need to agree child access arrangements - if all can be solved then it saves you going to court to gain access for your kids if she stops that - if you can't agree you'll need to go to court to formalise access etc

3. sensible move ... don't hang around if the relationship has gone

4. depends on where the kids will live ... 1 parent is usually the resident parent (lets say it's the mum in this case). She can claim the child benefits and other stuff as its assumed she has kids 50.1% of time. As non resident parent you get access WHEN YOU ARE AVAILABLE so the ex cannot make you look after the kids if you are working... its when you are available you get access normally every other weekend and 1-2 nights in the week. All you need to do is be honest and share your shift patterns and make an arrangement .... see point 2 - might be something you discuss in mediation, but don't worry you don't need to give up your job and find a 9-5 Monday to Friday
Reply
#4
Hi Restart.

Stop, move back in ASAP. If you move back in you will hold a much better hand, than you have now, believe me.

What is driving you to divorce? Is there someone else?

How old are the kids?

Is your ex working - what does she do each day?

Regards


Andrew
Reply
#5
(03-13-2017, 12:16 PM)invisibleintellectual Wrote: Restart,

Yes you must go through mediation - like you, I thought I wouldnt need to - but I had to (like everyone around here).

A divorce can take a while, it all depends on all sorts of things, have you done financial disclosure, are the child arrangements in place?  No, I've only today managed to get her to agree to mediation. The child arrangements are currently very random. I am hoping that mediation will help resolve a few problems such as her wanting me to have the kids almost every weekend because she is self employed and works weekends; but then, I work most weekends, too

Once thats all done and dusted your looking at around 6ish months to be free.

With regards to a work/life balance in your job (DISCLOSURE - I am an Ex-Union Rep), you can make a formal request to your employer for flexible working to ensure that you can have quality time with your children, however, your employer is not duty bound to accept this, though most employers will make a reasonable attempt to do so.  If you have a union where you are, you would be best to join it - most unions wont let you take a complaint/grievance/question until about three months into your membership - so this would give you time to prepare for your Flexible Working request and have it turned down (if it is), and then ask the Union to assist you in having it overturned. I am a member of a union at work; would they give advice on how to make this formal request? The problem I am facing is that under the circumstances, I cannot work anything other than an 8 to 4pm or 7 to 3pm shift without losing a lot of money to childcare. And I'd have to be paying child maintenance on top of this to the ex. It seems to me that separation/divorce are only possible if you're rich! :-(

 Thank you for your thoughts.

(03-13-2017, 12:25 PM)LTCDAD Wrote: Welcome Restart

I will answer the ones i know and others will come back over next 24 hours - its a really responsive forum but no-one is lawyer so its experience and advice

1. Someone else will chip in with that  Nothing yet... Undecided

2. Yep - start mediation as soon as possible - as yo have no financial things to discuss, you'll need to agree child access arrangements - if all can be solved then it saves you going to court to gain access for your kids if she stops that - if you can't agree you'll need to go to court to formalise access etc

3. sensible move ... don't hang around if the relationship has gone

4. depends on where the kids will live ... 1 parent is usually the resident parent (lets say it's the mum in this case). She can claim the child benefits and other stuff as its assumed she has kids 50.1% of time. As non resident parent you get access WHEN YOU ARE AVAILABLE so the ex cannot make you look after the kids if you are working... its when you are available you get access normally every other weekend and 1-2 nights in the week. All you need to do is be honest and share your shift patterns and make an arrangement .... see point 2 - might be something you discuss in mediation, but don't worry you don't need to give up your job and find a 9-5 Monday to Friday I am actually looking for 9-5 jobs because I fear my wallet wont be able to bear the burden of childcare payments to nursery and afterschool club, as well child maintenance to the ex.

Thank you for your advice.

(03-13-2017, 05:15 PM)andrewinyork Wrote: Hi Restart.

Stop, move back in ASAP. If you move back in you will hold a much better hand, than you have now, believe me.  
I am intrigued by this suggestion; please can you explain how this would give me a better hand?

What is driving you to divorce? Is there someone else? Fundamental disagreements regarding how the children are brought up, the lack of sharing of responsibilities with regards to domestic duties, and the simple fact that there is hardly any conversation and when there is, it lasts about 5 minutes before transforming into an argument. :Undecided There is no one else, but I have been involed with someone in the past. Does this change things from a divorce perspective?

How old are the kids? 9 and 3

Is your ex working - what does she do each day? Self employed. Teaches dance. Works three days a week for about three hours each day. Doesn't do anything else through the week, except care for the children.

Regards


Andrew

Thank you for your reply.
Reply
#6
Restart ....

"There is no one else, but I have been involved with someone in the past. Does this change things from a divorce perspective?"

Not really, your getting divorced and she will state that as one of the reasons but ... your still getting divorced eh... more important for statistics ... it will not impact your ability to be a dad
Reply
#7
(03-13-2017, 11:25 AM)restart Wrote: Hi,

I recently moved out of the (rented) family home, and I'm a bit unsure about how to proceed with matters regarding my marriage. I have tried to get some info online, but I admit that I am confused about the best way to go forward.

I have been married for 12 years, but things began to break down a few years ago. We have two children together, and this has made it very difficult for me to make the decision to move out. To complicate matters further, she does not work full time; she is self-employed but only part time. 

For the sake of simplicity, I will list the issues I am having right now, in the hope that someone can help with some advice.

1. My ex tells me that the Council has not made a decision on Housing Benefit. The landlord of her property is holding me liable for the rent (which I have been paying for the past two months) until she works full time and/or the housing benefit comes through. No time frame given by the Council regarding the latter.

2. Since we have two children, I have been told that I cannot go for a divorce without first having gone through mediation. Is this really the case? We have no assets between us and no savings. 

3. I am hoping to be divorced as soon as possible, so that there is a sense of finality to all this, and the sharing of children can be confirmed. How long does a divorce usually take?

4. (This may be a question better asked in an employment law forum!) I work shifts including nights within the NHS, but I foresee a lot of difficulty in fitting the children in to my work picture. Does anyone have experience of having made work/life balance requests in their job? Do I, as a single parent or separated father, have any rights at all in this matter?

There are a few more questions swirling around in my head, but these are the key issues Im trying to juggle right now.

I'd really appreciate any input in this, because I am keen to move ahead with Life, because I fear falling into a rut and not being able to get out. Undecided

Thank you, in advance, for any replies.

M
1, who's name is the house in? Unless its in your name or you stood as guarantor for it, its not your problem. If your name is on it, i need to know the status of it, for example, are you inside a fix term, or is it now rolling month by month?

If you are separated, then she could be claiming as a single person, and the law of the country is that only Child Benefit and Child Support payments are not treated as income for any Benefits. To get her claim sorted, I would advise she contacts either her local MP, Shelter or the CAB.

The fact is that any Benefit Awarded will be back dated to the Monday after she handed in a valid claim form.

2, That is the case.

3, You do not need Divorce to sort out Child Arrangements. If you was married to your ex on the day of birth, or your named as the father on the birth certificate, in most cases you have PR. This means until a Child Arrangements Order is made (or a Consent Order covering Child Arrangements) you are on the same legal standing.

However, 1 of you will become the Resident Parent (the one who exceeds 50% of the time), and the other will have to pay child support. The Resident Parent claims Child Benefit, what qualifies them to claim Child Tax Credits, and the child's occupancy counts only at their house.

How it works, is the Resident Parent must pay all normal day to day costs, except for anything in your contact time. Your payment in a CMS case is fully inclusive, and the law can not make you pay more.

Where 4 kicks in, When looking at contact, a Court considers "Quality Time" to be weekends in term time, and school holidays. Therefore a typical order is Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays. In effect, its halving it.

However, contact is done at times to suit the non resident parent, its their availability, not the preferred days and times of the Resident Parent. This should be regular time where its the non resident parents choice of activity's, with no need for the ex to be present and what happens in law is nothing to do with them.  Any Child Care should be in addition to contact time, if your willing to do it.

Unless your the resident parent you have very limited rights in employment law. If a Court Order gives you contact in school holidays, where practical you should be able to take your holiday entitlement in that time.

While contact is normally on a 2 week rota, it can be on any number of weeks, to match your work.

Where its workable then you can look at mid week visits or stay overs, making it more like shared care. Courts do look favourably on this, where your work means you can not have every other weekend.

I am not seeing any exemption from Medication, so if you can not sort Child Arrangements you need to go to them also, before you can apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#8
(03-21-2017, 10:50 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(03-13-2017, 11:25 AM)restart Wrote: Hi,

I recently moved out of the (rented) family home, and I'm a bit unsure about how to proceed with matters regarding my marriage. I have tried to get some info online, but I admit that I am confused about the best way to go forward.

I have been married for 12 years, but things began to break down a few years ago. We have two children together, and this has made it very difficult for me to make the decision to move out. To complicate matters further, she does not work full time; she is self-employed but only part time. 

For the sake of simplicity, I will list the issues I am having right now, in the hope that someone can help with some advice.

1. My ex tells me that the Council has not made a decision on Housing Benefit. The landlord of her property is holding me liable for the rent (which I have been paying for the past two months) until she works full time and/or the housing benefit comes through. No time frame given by the Council regarding the latter.

2. Since we have two children, I have been told that I cannot go for a divorce without first having gone through mediation. Is this really the case? We have no assets between us and no savings. 

3. I am hoping to be divorced as soon as possible, so that there is a sense of finality to all this, and the sharing of children can be confirmed. How long does a divorce usually take?

4. (This may be a question better asked in an employment law forum!) I work shifts including nights within the NHS, but I foresee a lot of difficulty in fitting the children in to my work picture. Does anyone have experience of having made work/life balance requests in their job? Do I, as a single parent or separated father, have any rights at all in this matter?

There are a few more questions swirling around in my head, but these are the key issues Im trying to juggle right now.

I'd really appreciate any input in this, because I am keen to move ahead with Life, because I fear falling into a rut and not being able to get out. Undecided

Thank you, in advance, for any replies.

M
1, who's name is the house in? Unless its in your name or you stood as guarantor for it, its not your problem. If your name is on it, i need to know the status of it, for example, are you inside a fix term, or is it now rolling month by month?This has now been resolved: the previous landlord has instructed the agent to release me from the tenancy - downside is that I have forfeit my deposit for it to be held against my ex's tenancy! I have, for the sake of the children, agreed.

If you are separated, then she could be claiming as a single person, and the law of the country is that only Child Benefit and Child Support payments are not treated as income for any Benefits. To get her claim sorted, I would advise she contacts either her local MP, Shelter or the CAB. She is tight lipped about whether the benefit payments have started. I have left it to her to resolve, since the house will soon be in her tenancy.

The fact is that any Benefit Awarded will be back dated to the Monday after she handed in a valid claim form.

2, That is the case.

Thank you for the info below!! It is really useful and gives me a much better idea of how to proceed.
3, You do not need Divorce to sort out Child Arrangements. Does this mean I can forego mediation and make child arrangements with my wife as long as the details are documented and signed by both of us? Mediation is costly.If you was married to your ex on the day of birth, or your named as the father on the birth certificate, in most cases you have PR. This means until a Child Arrangements Order is made (or a Consent Order covering Child Arrangements) you are on the same legal standing.

However, 1 of you will become the Resident Parent (the one who exceeds 50% of the time), and the other will have to pay child support. The Resident Parent claims Child Benefit, what qualifies them to claim Child Tax Credits, and the child's occupancy counts only at their house.

How it works, is the Resident Parent must pay all normal day to day costs, except for anything in your contact time. Your payment in a CMS case is fully inclusive, and the law can not make you pay more.

Where 4 kicks in, When looking at contact, a Court considers "Quality Time" to be weekends in term time, and school holidays. Therefore a typical order is Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays. In effect, its halving it.

However, contact is done at times to suit the non resident parent, its their availability, not the preferred days and times of the Resident Parent. This should be regular time where its the non resident parents choice of activity's, with no need for the ex to be present and what happens in law is nothing to do with them.  Any Child Care should be in addition to contact time, if your willing to do it.

Unless your the resident parent you have very limited rights in employment law. If a Court Order gives you contact in school holidays, where practical you should be able to take your holiday entitlement in that time.

While contact is normally on a 2 week rota, it can be on any number of weeks, to match your work.

Where its workable then you can look at mid week visits or stay overs, making it more like shared care. Courts do look favourably on this, where your work means you can not have every other weekend.

I am not seeing any exemption from Medication, so if you can not sort Child Arrangements you need to go to them also, before you can apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order.
Reply
#9
(03-23-2017, 01:45 PM)restart Wrote:
(03-21-2017, 10:50 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(03-13-2017, 11:25 AM)restart Wrote: Hi,

I recently moved out of the (rented) family home, and I'm a bit unsure about how to proceed with matters regarding my marriage. I have tried to get some info online, but I admit that I am confused about the best way to go forward.

I have been married for 12 years, but things began to break down a few years ago. We have two children together, and this has made it very difficult for me to make the decision to move out. To complicate matters further, she does not work full time; she is self-employed but only part time. 

For the sake of simplicity, I will list the issues I am having right now, in the hope that someone can help with some advice.

1. My ex tells me that the Council has not made a decision on Housing Benefit. The landlord of her property is holding me liable for the rent (which I have been paying for the past two months) until she works full time and/or the housing benefit comes through. No time frame given by the Council regarding the latter.

2. Since we have two children, I have been told that I cannot go for a divorce without first having gone through mediation. Is this really the case? We have no assets between us and no savings. 

3. I am hoping to be divorced as soon as possible, so that there is a sense of finality to all this, and the sharing of children can be confirmed. How long does a divorce usually take?

4. (This may be a question better asked in an employment law forum!) I work shifts including nights within the NHS, but I foresee a lot of difficulty in fitting the children in to my work picture. Does anyone have experience of having made work/life balance requests in their job? Do I, as a single parent or separated father, have any rights at all in this matter?

There are a few more questions swirling around in my head, but these are the key issues Im trying to juggle right now.

I'd really appreciate any input in this, because I am keen to move ahead with Life, because I fear falling into a rut and not being able to get out. Undecided

Thank you, in advance, for any replies.

M
1, who's name is the house in? Unless its in your name or you stood as guarantor for it, its not your problem. If your name is on it, i need to know the status of it, for example, are you inside a fix term, or is it now rolling month by month?This has now been resolved: the previous landlord has instructed the agent to release me from the tenancy - downside is that I have forfeit my deposit for it to be held against my ex's tenancy! I have, for the sake of the children, agreed.

If you are separated, then she could be claiming as a single person, and the law of the country is that only Child Benefit and Child Support payments are not treated as income for any Benefits. To get her claim sorted, I would advise she contacts either her local MP, Shelter or the CAB. She is tight lipped about whether the benefit payments have started. I have left it to her to resolve, since the house will soon be in her tenancy.

The fact is that any Benefit Awarded will be back dated to the Monday after she handed in a valid claim form.

2, That is the case.

Thank you for the info below!! It is really useful and gives me a much better idea of how to proceed.
3, You do not need Divorce to sort out Child Arrangements. Does this mean I can forego mediation and make child arrangements with my wife as long as the details are documented and signed by both of us? Mediation is costly.If you was married to your ex on the day of birth, or your named as the father on the birth certificate, in most cases you have PR. This means until a Child Arrangements Order is made (or a Consent Order covering Child Arrangements) you are on the same legal standing.

However, 1 of you will become the Resident Parent (the one who exceeds 50% of the time), and the other will have to pay child support. The Resident Parent claims Child Benefit, what qualifies them to claim Child Tax Credits, and the child's occupancy counts only at their house.

How it works, is the Resident Parent must pay all normal day to day costs, except for anything in your contact time. Your payment in a CMS case is fully inclusive, and the law can not make you pay more.

Where 4 kicks in, When looking at contact, a Court considers "Quality Time" to be weekends in term time, and school holidays. Therefore a typical order is Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays. In effect, its halving it.

However, contact is done at times to suit the non resident parent, its their availability, not the preferred days and times of the Resident Parent. This should be regular time where its the non resident parents choice of activity's, with no need for the ex to be present and what happens in law is nothing to do with them.  Any Child Care should be in addition to contact time, if your willing to do it.

Unless your the resident parent you have very limited rights in employment law. If a Court Order gives you contact in school holidays, where practical you should be able to take your holiday entitlement in that time.

While contact is normally on a 2 week rota, it can be on any number of weeks, to match your work.

Where its workable then you can look at mid week visits or stay overs, making it more like shared care. Courts do look favourably on this, where your work means you can not have every other weekend.

I am not seeing any exemption from Medication, so if you can not sort Child Arrangements you need to go to them also, before you can apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

The problem is that any agreement you do, is not enforceable in law. The only use should anyone not follow it, is it would show a court what was agreed, so the person wanting to change would have to show good reason.

Even a Mediation Agreement can not be enforced, but if that is broke, you have right to go to court. With a none mediation agreement, you would have to go to mediation still.

If you can agree things, then look into a Consent Order. It can cover Child Arrangements and anything else you both want, related to your separation or Children.
In this case, you both just go to Court and its ordered, once the Judge makes sure you both understand it. Mediation is not needed for this, as long as no aspect of it is going to be contested.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
Reply
#10
(03-23-2017, 01:45 PM)restart Wrote:
(03-21-2017, 10:50 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(03-13-2017, 11:25 AM)restart Wrote: Hi,

I recently moved out of the (rented) family home, and I'm a bit unsure about how to proceed with matters regarding my marriage. I have tried to get some info online, but I admit that I am confused about the best way to go forward.

I have been married for 12 years, but things began to break down a few years ago. We have two children together, and this has made it very difficult for me to make the decision to move out. To complicate matters further, she does not work full time; she is self-employed but only part time. 

For the sake of simplicity, I will list the issues I am having right now, in the hope that someone can help with some advice.

1. My ex tells me that the Council has not made a decision on Housing Benefit. The landlord of her property is holding me liable for the rent (which I have been paying for the past two months) until she works full time and/or the housing benefit comes through. No time frame given by the Council regarding the latter.

2. Since we have two children, I have been told that I cannot go for a divorce without first having gone through mediation. Is this really the case? We have no assets between us and no savings. 

3. I am hoping to be divorced as soon as possible, so that there is a sense of finality to all this, and the sharing of children can be confirmed. How long does a divorce usually take?

4. (This may be a question better asked in an employment law forum!) I work shifts including nights within the NHS, but I foresee a lot of difficulty in fitting the children in to my work picture. Does anyone have experience of having made work/life balance requests in their job? Do I, as a single parent or separated father, have any rights at all in this matter?

There are a few more questions swirling around in my head, but these are the key issues Im trying to juggle right now.

I'd really appreciate any input in this, because I am keen to move ahead with Life, because I fear falling into a rut and not being able to get out. Undecided

Thank you, in advance, for any replies.

M
1, who's name is the house in? Unless its in your name or you stood as guarantor for it, its not your problem. If your name is on it, i need to know the status of it, for example, are you inside a fix term, or is it now rolling month by month?This has now been resolved: the previous landlord has instructed the agent to release me from the tenancy - downside is that I have forfeit my deposit for it to be held against my ex's tenancy! I have, for the sake of the children, agreed.

If you are separated, then she could be claiming as a single person, and the law of the country is that only Child Benefit and Child Support payments are not treated as income for any Benefits. To get her claim sorted, I would advise she contacts either her local MP, Shelter or the CAB. She is tight lipped about whether the benefit payments have started. I have left it to her to resolve, since the house will soon be in her tenancy.

The fact is that any Benefit Awarded will be back dated to the Monday after she handed in a valid claim form.

2, That is the case.

Thank you for the info below!! It is really useful and gives me a much better idea of how to proceed.
3, You do not need Divorce to sort out Child Arrangements. Does this mean I can forego mediation and make child arrangements with my wife as long as the details are documented and signed by both of us? Mediation is costly.If you was married to your ex on the day of birth, or your named as the father on the birth certificate, in most cases you have PR. This means until a Child Arrangements Order is made (or a Consent Order covering Child Arrangements) you are on the same legal standing.

However, 1 of you will become the Resident Parent (the one who exceeds 50% of the time), and the other will have to pay child support. The Resident Parent claims Child Benefit, what qualifies them to claim Child Tax Credits, and the child's occupancy counts only at their house.

How it works, is the Resident Parent must pay all normal day to day costs, except for anything in your contact time. Your payment in a CMS case is fully inclusive, and the law can not make you pay more.

Where 4 kicks in, When looking at contact, a Court considers "Quality Time" to be weekends in term time, and school holidays. Therefore a typical order is Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays. In effect, its halving it.

However, contact is done at times to suit the non resident parent, its their availability, not the preferred days and times of the Resident Parent. This should be regular time where its the non resident parents choice of activity's, with no need for the ex to be present and what happens in law is nothing to do with them.  Any Child Care should be in addition to contact time, if your willing to do it.

Unless your the resident parent you have very limited rights in employment law. If a Court Order gives you contact in school holidays, where practical you should be able to take your holiday entitlement in that time.

While contact is normally on a 2 week rota, it can be on any number of weeks, to match your work.

Where its workable then you can look at mid week visits or stay overs, making it more like shared care. Courts do look favourably on this, where your work means you can not have every other weekend.

I am not seeing any exemption from Medication, so if you can not sort Child Arrangements you need to go to them also, before you can apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order.
Benefits take about 6 weeks to sort and are back dated.  Your ex will no doubt receive her housing benefit and working tax credit within that time.  You cannot get away from Mediation as you have to attend before you can go to court for Divorce or access.  Mediation is about £90 for the first meeting, your ex will have to pay this also when she goes too, you will not go together.  If she doesnt want to go down the Mediation route then its quicker to Court but you need the form from the Mediation Practice saying it was a no go and giving the reason why! That form will then go off with your application, Dont let that 'no mediation wanted' reason be you as it wont hold well in Court, you need to be willing!
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