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Soon to be separated...
Don’t forget. She is calling for separation, she is messaging another man, you are trying to keep your family together and be a good father.

Stay in the house, sleep in your bed, enjoy being a good father. You’re not pushing for change, she is. You want things to continue as they were, she doesn’t.

She’s welcome to bugger off wherever she wants, but do not change your life based on her whims. You may have to readjust but it will not be you who has initiated any change.

I have been through similar recently and taking that approach has allowed me to hold my head high.

Once you start to make changes to suit her, it looks like you’ve done something wrong and are making concessions on the back of that.

Hold firm mate. You’ve done nothing wrong.
Thanks for this, your summary is correct and I am the one trying to pull it back together.
A few financials to sort out and who gets kids what days but slowly getting my focus back rather than emotions getting better of me.

Of to let me parents know tonight, maybe a problem shared will help me.....I know all comments on this forum do!
That 8 days out of 14 Nibbler seems to me like your wife is trying to establish some form of dominance in parenting, by having a proveable greater number of days, but doing so with the minimum level of additional effort over an even split, ie half a day per week extra. I wouldn’t be happy with that.
So this is decision week, we have told our parents regarding plans to separate but not our two kids 12 and 10.
I still feel that we have not worked together to connect again and have just went straight to the separation stage which really makes me feel like we are failing our children by not trying. I have highlighted this yesterday and she said she would think about it and I so hope she sees the light

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