Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Divorcing wife due to child cruelty and advice needed
#1
Hello All,

I would like to share my story and looking for some advice. I had to call the police as my soon to be exwife was hitting my children (3 and 9 years old), I showed them footage that clearly shows red skin and video evidence when she was hitting them. She was interviewed by the police and admitted to child cruelty. She said that she will accept a caution for child cruelty. My 9 years old does not even want to speak to her now and made it clear to the social worker that he does not want to talk to her.

Social workers are involved and the police. She has no contact (only by phone) now and is out of the house, kids are with me. Social workers are still undertaking an assessment and want to have a supervised contact with her and the kids for one hour, which I begrudgingly agreed to.

What do I do next, she claims that I was hitting her and a thousand other lies. What should i do next? what are my chances of child custody?
Any information you can provide would be helpful. 
Reply
#2
Wow Im sorry for you and your kids, thats terrible.
Im afraid I have no experience with this so cant offer much advice only that it seems sensible to get it into court and residence in your favour ASAP while the caution is still fresh.
Sounds like she needs a lot of help.

Have you applied for court? unfortunately as a male you wont get legal aid even with domestic abuse.

Non molestation and occupancy order might be next to go for but Ill leave it up to others to advise.
Reply
#3
Get it into court ASAP. Your chances are higher now because the status quo is currently in your favour.

When I was considering going to residency, I was told that it would need a social workers /police report or similar by a barrister. It sounds like you have that, so you may be in with a decent shot.
Reply
#4
(03-28-2018, 09:24 AM)marwood Wrote: Get it into court ASAP.  Your chances are higher now because the status quo is currently in your favour.

When I was considering going to residency, I was told that it would need a social workers /police report or similar by a barrister.  It sounds like you have that, so you may be in with a decent shot.

Do you mean sole residency or shared?
Reply
#5
Thanks everyone, in regards to the solicitors, any solicitors that specialize in fathers rights? I am London based?
Reply
#6
Not sure what you mean, you'll need a solicitor that specializes in family law and they will look out for your best interest regardless of mother or father..
To be honest your case has very little to do with father's rights and everything to do with your children's safety and wellbeing.
Solicitors will often offer an advice only service but not act on your behalf if thats better?
Reply
#7
Court is the best option ASAP as Marwood suggests.
Good luck .
Reply
#8
(03-28-2018, 10:06 AM)knigh7 Wrote: Thanks everyone, in regards to the solicitors, any solicitors that specialize in fathers rights? I am London based?

I'd urge you to get a notion of "fathers rights" out of your head. The courts don't care about parents rights, and if you mention them, you'll harm your case. The courts are only interested in the interests of the children. Sadly, they do sometimes seem to be biased in the mothers' favour, although not always (they weren't in my case).

Don't use a London solicitor - they cost a fortune and aren't any better. I started off with one in London and fired her because she was ineffective. I ended up hiring on from up North who was much cheaper.

Talk to a few, find one who you can get on with (because you'll be working with them a lot), and who gets the dynamic of your particular case. Custody disputes are as much about the psychology of the conflict as they are about the law.
Reply
#9
Thank you so much for the advise thus far, here is the situation as it stands.

* Social workers are about to finalise their assessment, they are now in the process of interviewing my direct family as part of their assessment
* Social workers made it clear to me that the police have advised them that only supervised contact is allowed "at this stage" with her
* She is going to accept a police caution for child cruelty this week hopefully

I have spoken to a solicitor who advised me that we should wait till social services run their course. He was also saying that if social services recommend supervised contact and that if she accepts it, that there is no need for custody unless she give me problems or contests it. He said that once we have the reports from the police and social workers then we should then start divorce proceedings.

What do you guys think?
Reply
#10
"I have spoken to a solicitor who advised me that we should wait till social services run their course. He was also saying that if social services recommend supervised contact and that if she accepts it, that there is no need for custody unless she give me problems or contests it."

I would still apply to court for residency. You need it formalised that they live with you. Because things could change. In two years social services may say she's fine, had therapy or whatever, and her not return them to you one week-end or something.

Yes wait for the social services reports because they are the evidence you need to apply to the court for residency. And even if she did contest it the social services report would back up your claim.

It's not called custody any more. It changed to residency but is now just called "lives with" if they live with you (ie custody) or "spends time with" if they have contact. Some solicitors still talk about "contact".

It's the "at this stage" bit that would worry me. As if they are thinking she could move to unsupervised contact - and then she'd be wanting them to live with her....

Your solicitor is advising based on the current situation but things might change. You could also get a free half hour's legal advice with a couple of other solicitors. And go with one that instinctively seems the right person. Or put a post on here under the first section of the forum asking for recommendations of solicitors in your area. It can help to have a recommendation from someone who has used a solicitor and found them good (an awful lot of them aren't that good - and they can make mistakes too!)

Make an appointment for mediation and get the ball rolling so you're ready to apply to court when the social services report comes out. Google mediation services in your area, ring round them and take the first appointment. Which is the MIAM (mediation, information and assessment meeting). You go to that on your own and tell them the situation. Costs about £100. Ask to be signed off -I am sure when you tell them the circumstances they will decide it's not suitable for mediation and you'll be exempt. If you print out form C100 and take it with you they can sign it there and then. (The sign off is a page on the C100 form). Then you can either complete the form yourself or get your solicitor to do it. You will also want to complete a form C1A for welfare issues. State what has happened and attach the social services report as evidence (assuming it says what you think it will).

I would get on with it. Social services tend to "support" Mothers who are having problems rather than taking children away from them. It sounds to me, that because they are saying supervised contact, they are thinking of this as a temporary thing while they monitor the situation so you want it legalised that the children live with you.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Advice Needed - Ex Wife..?? Mr Sandman 5 951 10-10-2019, 09:12 AM
Last Post: SteveyA



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)