05-03-2018, 11:40 AM
Hi all,
just wanted to post a few words of encouragement to other dads who think the system is somewhat skewed against them.
Following a highly contested custody battle at the Central Family Court in London, I am happy to say that the court granted everything that I had asked for at the final hearing (i.e. an equal residence order based on a 2-2-5-5 split of days over each fortnight).
Like many people on this forum, I experienced false accusations, threatening letters from solicitors and the sad reality of being away from my two year old daughter for more than I wanted until the final hearing. And that is without considering the time, money and goodwill that has been wasted in fighting a narcissistic ex.
So what are my two pennies of advice?
1) do not give up and do not give in. Never compromise (I was offered 5 days out of 14 by her solicitor out of court) and ignore all false accusations (the courts have seen it and heard it all before)
2) be pragmatic in your statements. Common sense usually prevails, so stick to a simple message and a statement that can be understood within 3 minutes by the court (they do not have time to read anything more than 4-5 pages)
3) never leave the former matrimonial home - it is much easier to prove that you are equally involved as a primary carer when demanding equal residence
4) share great moments with your little ones and always develop some photos (these photos helped me at the final hearing)
5) be positive towards your ex. If you want to be equally important in your child's life, you should start by setting the right example
Good luck to all!
S
just wanted to post a few words of encouragement to other dads who think the system is somewhat skewed against them.
Following a highly contested custody battle at the Central Family Court in London, I am happy to say that the court granted everything that I had asked for at the final hearing (i.e. an equal residence order based on a 2-2-5-5 split of days over each fortnight).
Like many people on this forum, I experienced false accusations, threatening letters from solicitors and the sad reality of being away from my two year old daughter for more than I wanted until the final hearing. And that is without considering the time, money and goodwill that has been wasted in fighting a narcissistic ex.
So what are my two pennies of advice?
1) do not give up and do not give in. Never compromise (I was offered 5 days out of 14 by her solicitor out of court) and ignore all false accusations (the courts have seen it and heard it all before)
2) be pragmatic in your statements. Common sense usually prevails, so stick to a simple message and a statement that can be understood within 3 minutes by the court (they do not have time to read anything more than 4-5 pages)
3) never leave the former matrimonial home - it is much easier to prove that you are equally involved as a primary carer when demanding equal residence
4) share great moments with your little ones and always develop some photos (these photos helped me at the final hearing)
5) be positive towards your ex. If you want to be equally important in your child's life, you should start by setting the right example
Good luck to all!
S