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Mail order brides
#1
Hello guys. A few months ago I asked a question about online dating. It was a serious question but I didn't think it would get more than a couple of replies. Now the thread is 27 pages and still running. Now I have another question and you might think it's daft but I am serious about it too. Instead of dating has anybody thought of foreign brides? 

The idea came into my head suddenly and my first thought was to forget about it just as quickly. I remember years ago seeing an old bloke in the shopping center with a much younger and more attractive Thai bride as they used to be called. She was half his size but he had her pushing an incredibly heavy supermarket trolley.

But now there seem to be all sorts. Eastern Europeans. Latins. I am starting to wonder if there is something to be said for exploring this way forward. There was a poster on one of the boards - I think this one - who said that he had given up on western women because of their values. It could be he had a good point. 

Has anybody else thought about this or had experience or heard anything about it or have any thoughts on the subject?
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#2
Dunno.....I saw that Louis Theroux documentary on this type of thing a few years back and it did come across as a bit sordid and creepy.....and essentially it is kind of like long term prostitution mashed in with a bit of mild slavery.

But I do also kind of see where people are coming from in terms of western women and their values. I spent more than 10 years in an inner city area with high immigrant population. The Eastern European women (mostly Polski) always just seemed so friendly and easily contented. A few years ago I got chatting to a beautiful Eastern Euro lady on a bus stop and we went for a few drinks. She chatted about her previous relationships and it sounded like she put up with so much shit and asked for very little in return. Unfortunately I was in a relationship at the time so despite taking her number and us texting a bit I didn't pursue it - not until my GF at the time went through my phone and saw the texts, but that's another story.

I also have quite a few Asian friends - male and female, and it seems in their culture the women are a tad more doting too. If I came home from work and expected my tea to be on the table I'd be an old fashioned sexist pig. But Asian women just do that as standard - and even seem grateful for the opportunity to do it.

In my last relationship I was working 9.5hr days, 5 days a week, commuting home, bathing the daughter, majority of time i'd cook the tea, doing all my own ironing, paying 90% of the mortgage, half the bills, paying off the new carpet she wanted, and I didn't complain about any of it. Also after the birth of our daughter we barely had any bedroom antics and I didn't complain about that or put on any pressure. Yet she was ultimately the one that pulled the plug on our family.

Its not an avenue i plan on going down any time soon, but you are only here once and if it brings a man happiness without causing suffering to anyone else then I dont see a problem with it.
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#3
Seeing women who aren't British is good, my best friend has ditched western women, I suspect as they often have an entitlement mentality, and is going out with his second Chinese lady in 6 years, he met them both on Match. Some cultures, the women seem to appreciate the virtues of hard work, loyalty and homebuilding. I read on the Guardian (I think) yesterday that hard work was posed as something like an addiction similar to gambling or drugs, and this typifies some aspects of liberal western thinking!

I went out with a Brazilian for a month when I started dating and she was of the view, you earn and work hard, and I'll help you do that.

LB, just like you I worked long hours, travelled with work, paid all the bills and then gave my wife (who had a job) an allowance of £300 pm. I did housework, cleaned the cars, looked after our daughter, but it wasn't enough as I couldn't give her the Facebook worthy aspirational lifestyle at weekends, I wanted to relax and unwind in my house rather than going to some Pop-up Street-food Gin-bar serving overpriced drinks in jam-jars, in a yurt made from recycled pallets and old xmas tree lights whilst listening to some 18 year old busker with a guitar doing covers of Nirvana in the style of the Carpenters.

From what I've gathered many women from outside the UK just don't have that 'I deserve it' mentality and value hard work and loyalty. I don't think the websites that specialise in this are worth it though, maybe just look for them closer to home, they are around...
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#4
The food at that pop-up bar had better be locally sourced.
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#5
(09-19-2018, 09:00 AM)mikec Wrote: The food at that pop-up bar had better be locally sourced.

Its organic and served on an old roof tile....
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#6
(09-19-2018, 08:34 AM)Mr Sandman Wrote: I couldn't give her the Facebook worthy aspirational lifestyle

I think this shit has got a lot to answer for.
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#7
If you want a literally transactional relationship - rather than an equal one, maybe, but I really don't see it going well at all!

Maybe if you just reject local girls who are bell ends before marrying them? Or maybe - not marrying anyone Smile
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#8
I thought i'd applied the bell end filter to my relationship situation......

i'm guessing we all did...
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#9
Is it as simple as a literally transactional relationship? If our ideas of romantic love are unrealistic and doomed to fail after 10 years or so then relationships in other cultures and other times must have been based on something different. The divorce rate itself suggests our way of thinking about things isn't working out. Our concept of romantic love seems to start with high expectations and slowly crash lands to it's opposite. Maybe a relationship that starts with a transaction grows with friendship into something more like our idea of love and better than our experience.
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#10
As a working woman, who is treated as an equal by her husband (intellectually and in all other ways), I am finding the above comments pretty sexist and distasteful. We're in the 21st century guys - relationships that work are those in which you treat each other with respect, share the mundane tasks and don't "expect" certain duties to be carried out by one sex or the other.

Could some of you decent chaps come on here and balance this out with few comments...pleeeease!

Clare @SeparatedDads (fully supporting you in your fight for contact with your kids, regardless of whether you're a male chauvinist or not)
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