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signs of infidelity?
#1
if you've read my other posts you'd know that my wife suddenly in April this year was "unsure about our married anymore" she promptly stopped all physical contact and became very angry with me.

Now, with the benefit of hindsight (or possibly paranoia) I can look back and notice some signs that might be considered signs of infidelity, such as..

A few months prior to her making her decision, she started taking a huge interest in her personal care.. shaving all her bits everyday, all over fake tanning, getting nails and waxing done much more.
And was going out more.

she always looked after herself but the frequency increased significantly.

she started wearing much more revealing things at work (push up bras, low cut tops and mini skirts).

At Christmas, she went on her Xmas doo (she works with only men and is the only female!) I wasn't best pleased at the idea but off she went.

she told me the club that they were finishing in closed at 4am which I thought was a bit late, so I called the club secretly and they said it closes at 2am.

I know that's paranoia but I was wondering if you guys had any other signs?
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#2
Hiya Chester.

What do you want to hear?  Good news or bad?  In my case, my partner told me she loved me but wasn't in love with me.  She didn't have romantic feelings for me anymore and wasn't sure if they'd come back.  She said we weren't sexually compatible. She wanted us to stay together for the sake of the kids.  That became wanting to remain friends for the sake of the kids when she began to accept that living together was daft.   I have a friend who's husband was having an affair.  He told her virtually the same, word for word.

I was fitting a new bathroom at our house in the weeks before we split up. My ex said at least a couple of times how much she was looking forward to it being finished so that she could "shave her bits". She didn't normally give a **** about this, unless we were going through one of the rare times when we had sex more frequently. I know now that she'd met a guy a few weeks before and had met up with him in London. She was planning to meet him again.

Mine told me she was going out with a girlfriend she'd met on a course.  She was actually meeting up with a man she'd met at a business launch on her way home from the course (if what she says is true, given that she's lied and lied and lied.  I do wonder whether she met him even earlier).  She used to go into London and I was very aware that she'd shaved her legs, etc, put on fake tan, bought new clothes.  It's all so obvious now with hindsight.  And she used to stay in London.  Initially I thought it made sense because her "friend" lived in West London.  But when I became suspicious and she went on a weeknight, I asked her why she didn't just come home for the sake of the kids.  Her excuse was lame.  She actually got me to go into work late and do the school run so that she could stay overnight and "have breakfast" with her friend.  What an arsehole!  I'm explaining this because I wanted to respond to your question, but when I think about it it still makes me extremely angry and I put it out of my mind most of the time.

Sorry mate, but reading what you've said I'd be very suspicious.
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#3
Being cagey while using the phone is a major giveaway.

But to be honest it's not really wasting the effort in exposing/accusing - just assume that they are or they soon will be and get on with getting the best for yourself in terms of access to your kids and finances.
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#4
Mr Sandmans guide to getting done over by your wife, Part One:

CC - She's having an affair, the timing fits perfectly. Here is what my wife did:

1) would have spa days away where the phone reception wasn't very good.
2) would encourage me to go away with my buddies on bike trips, poker tournaments, scuba diving, or trips away with the daughter, I took my daughter on holiday alone twice.
3) had a friend (possibly two) cover for her, she'd be going over to see her friends a lot.
4) lost weight and started going out more (I need to feel young again).
5) cut down the amount of sex with me, often it was a hand job as he'd asked her not to have sex with me.
6) hid it in plain sight, the other guy was a business colleague, she'd openly say she was off to view properties, get builders in with him.
7) generally hid or phone and didn't let it out of her sight
8) she actually had a safe hidden in the bottom of her wardrobe, I didn't even know it was there.

All of this was gradual, in hindsight it was obvious....
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#5
I unwittingly was dropping my STBX over at what turned out to be an ex-boyfriend's house every week. With both our kids in the car! Go figure!
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#6
(10-04-2018, 02:04 PM)Mr Sandman Wrote: Mr Sandmans guide to getting done over by your wife, Part One:

CC - She's having an affair, the timing fits perfectly. Here is what my wife did:

1) would have spa days away where the phone reception wasn't very good.
2) would encourage me to go away with my buddies on bike trips, poker tournaments, scuba diving, or trips away with the daughter, I took my daughter on holiday alone twice.
3) had a friend (possibly two) cover for her, she'd be going over to see her friends a lot.
4) lost weight and started going out more (I need to feel young again).
5) cut down the amount of sex with me, often it was a hand job as he'd asked her not to have sex with me.
6) hid it in plain sight, the other guy was a business colleague, she'd openly say she was off to view properties, get builders in with him.
7) generally hid or phone and didn't let it out of her sight
8) she actually had a safe hidden in the bottom of her wardrobe, I didn't even know it was there.

All of this was gradual, in hindsight it was obvious....

A few similarities with my experience here, probably 6 out of the 8.   Once you know the truth, you can't believe how you didn't see it... Or didn't want to see it.  I was in denial for such a long time.  And you know what?  Every little thing I suspected I was right about.  And it still hurts.  Trust you gut. I have to say CC, when I read your original post, I immediately thought that it was a dead cert.  Sorry man.
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#7
these women are scandalous....
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#8
(10-04-2018, 02:30 PM)Fatcat1980 Wrote: [quote pid='33119' dateline='1538661882']
A few similarities with my experience here, probably 6 out of the 8.   Once you know the truth, you can't believe how you didn't see it... Or didn't want to see it.  I was in denial for such a long time.  And you know what?  Every little thing I suspected I was right about.  And it still hurts.  Trust you gut. I have to say CC, when I read your original post, I immediately thought that it was a dead cert.  Sorry man.

[/quote]

I didn't want to see it - I'd built the perfect family, home and lifestyle - I was so proud (in hindsight) I just buried my head and it was so obvious, afterwards she even said she was shocked I hadn't figured it out. I'd always advise anyone now to be suspicious, and trust your gut...
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#9
Yep, trust your gut.  If it walks like a chicken, talks like a chicken....
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