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Who Tried Reconciliation?
#11
Hi I have a text message that I wrote to her about a month ago, I must have edited it a hundred times or more
Still haven't sent it yet
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#12
I've still got the chain of Whatsapp messages going back months now, in some ways it was the only way we could communicate without arguing.

Some make for interesting reading while some are me calling her all the bitches under the sun again!
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#13
(11-05-2018, 07:26 PM)Davethedad Wrote: Hi I have a text message that I wrote to her about a month ago, I must have edited it a hundred times or more
Still haven't sent it yet

Its so crap that we can put all our emotions into 1 letter, email or text and know its the worse thing to do. Being recently separated we all hold out for that little bit of hope from that text or email etc but know deep down that it made no difference to your situation.
We have to put up with this emotional rollercoaster stuff thats been put on most of us and then just for good measure we say, write or send something to them which then after no chink of light we batter ourselves even more with our inner demon emotions for doing it.
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#14
In the two months I spent trying to get her to stay I sent loads of text to her, she didn't reply to a single one .... what chance have I now I ask myself
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#15
(11-05-2018, 08:09 PM)Davethedad Wrote: In the two months I spent trying to get her to stay I sent loads of text to her, she didn't reply to a single one .... what chance have I now I ask myself

Thats harsh but a common thing, when send a text to her i have to wait hours for the reply even though i know the phone is in her hand all the time.
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#16
DanDad iv'e months and reams of messages both whatsapp and messenger that iv'e saved just incase there needed in court as proof , if it ever went down those roads ..
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#17
My ex and I were on, off for years. I just kept thinking, if only, if only I try this, what about if I say that. In the end I realised she was the very definition of narcissist. She had no interest in mutual benefit or a win-win situation. All she wanted was to be right. To ensure that she didnt take responsibility for the things she had done. I remember the conversations many years ago in which I predicted exactly what happened in the end. It was like a train stuck to the tracks and there was nothing I could have done.

She actually convinced me that it was ok for her to spend the day at the beach with her ex fiance and my daughter while I was at work.

In the end I found myself agreeing with things that I knew didnt happen and apologising for it just so we could get over it and move on. But deep down we both knew they werent true so she lost respect for me.

If there is any hope of reconciliation then there needs to be a nice long break from each other. But be warned, none of us are getting any younger, and you could waste years being unhappy only to end up in the same inevitable situation.

In all my years Ive never seen an on again off again couple finally sort it out and live happily ever after. It just doesnt happen.

For what its worth.
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#18
My STBX asked me about reconciliation 'for the kids sake' a couple of months after we separated. We met up, had a few drinks and a long chat and initially that day I thought it might work.

After I'd had a night to sleep on it I wrote a list of pro's and con's and then read them back to myself. That's when I realised that I wasn't doing it for me at all and that everything I'd written in the pro's column was simply to make life easier, not once had I written anything about the STBX. That's when it hit home that I really had to stop it before it got started, so I sat with her that evening and discussed it with her, told her it wasn't going to happen and left.

Felt like shit doing it because I know how much she wanted it, but I'd have been doing it for ALL the wrong reasons.
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#19
I had (many months later), my ex saying she had made a mistake - its too late, you made your bed, you lie on it.
The opinions here are not that of Separated Dads, but merely a loving father who has been through the process and has come out the other side.
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#20
(11-06-2018, 08:08 AM)Naive Wrote: In all my years Ive never seen an on again off again couple finally sort it out and live happily ever after. It just doesnt happen.


I go along with this train of thought. If you are 'on off' it means you aren't sure.....if you aren't sure i think facts need to be faced and its not meant to be.

A good mate of mine was with his woman for many years. Then she went a bit weird and they started the 'on off' thing. He forgave her for a lot of bad shit. After one particularly bad 'off' we went for a few bevies and told him.....mate that shit is broken, its time to leave it alone and move on.

He gave it another shot and they got another place together....a year or so later its over again and he regularly tells me how much he wished he took my advice back then.......he wasted time and money on that situation....and he caused himself more emotional pain in another split.

he's happy as a pig in shit now with another woman......
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