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Harassment during contact time.
#11
But all of that detracts from the fact that having proved you're entitled to time with your child, you don't get to peacefully enjoy it. You need to report it to the court and to social services. And it needs to because of reasons like substance abuse. Social services need to be aware of her behaviour so that - in time and with everything proved - they can make a judgement about just how fit a mother she is when your daughter is with her.
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#12
Interesting what the Police said - I suspect it is if a "Mother" says a child in danger as they said no they weren't going when I asked them! It took social services telling me to say they had opened a case before the Police would go.
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#13
So, the saga goes on.

Get a pile of paperwork through the door yesterday, ex tried, and failed, to get an ex-partie Prohibitive Steps Order to overrule the Child Arrangements Order, only set by the court in late December.

Summing up from Judge stated PSO application was likely to fail and the police who the ex sent to the house on the false 999 call stated the police left satisfied my daughter was not in danger.

Judge did however give the ex 24 hours to give a written statement to the court for the court legal adviser to review and decide if an urgent hearing is required.

To say the least this document is a fantasy story full of contradictions and lies and included a flash drive of supposed secret recordings of my daughter stating negative things about me. If it wasn’t a child stating these comments it would be amusing as its obvious she is reading and being coached.

Went to visit a friend of my partner who is a retired Magistrate and 20 years in family court. Said the judge has sent her away as comments from the Judge mean “you’re an idiot, now just go away”, also doubts the legal advisor will go against the judge and set an urgent hearing.

Due to the constant parental alienation campaign I contacted social services, only to find out ex has already hand delivered the same document and flash drive to them. I have raised serious concerns about this and my ex’s mental state and am waiting their reply.

This crazy woman just will simply not give up, every time I get access started after a breach it’s always a few weeks before she comes up with some other nonsense to try to justify stopping contact again.

I’m starting to get really sick fed-up and depressed with this constant cycle, it’s becoming predictable now.
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#14
I would write to social services again, briefly, by email, if you have a contact there, and state youare concerned about the ongoing attempts by your ex to turn your child against you, and concerned for your child's emotional and psychological well being as you consider she is being coached and given negative things to say. They may open a case and speak to the child at school. But they are so busy they may well do nothing - but at least you have an email you can use as evidence of your concerns if it does go back to court.

It is sick making but try and stay cool - your ex is digging herself into a big hole. The courts are aware of parental alienation and what she is doing may well backfire on her. In some ways it would be good if the court does decide to give an urgent hearing because it will come out what she is doing. Courts frown on children being recorded saying things about the other parent.

A better route than social services may be the police. I would contact the Police again, update them on the situation, and say you have concerns that the child is being alienated and coached.

There was a case in the National Press a couple of years ago when a Mother's partner was accused of interfering with the children, and theFather had recorded the children saying these things and called the Police who arrested the Mother's partner. The Police then interviewed the children and determined quite easily that the children had been coached. The Father was sent to prison.

Obviously that is a more serious and specific accusation but it was not only clear alienation but also harmful to the children. What your ex is doing is harmful - and she has provided evidence of what she is doing with her recordings. It could be used against her.

Family courts only deal with contact and residence. The Police deal with criminal matters and coaching a child is also a criminal matter if the allegations are serious - and false.
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#15
(01-15-2019, 11:50 AM)Charlie7000 Wrote: I would write to social services again, briefly, by email, if you have a contact there, and state youare concerned about the ongoing attempts by your ex to turn your child against you, and concerned for your child's emotional and psychological well being as you consider she is being coached and given negative things to say.   They may open a case and speak to the child at school.  But they are so busy they may well do nothing - but at least you have an email you can use as evidence of your concerns if it does go back to court.

It is sick making but try and stay cool - your ex is digging herself into a big hole.  The courts are aware of parental alienation and what she is doing may well backfire on her.  In some ways it would be good if the court does decide to give an urgent hearing because it will come out what she is doing.  Courts frown on children being recorded saying things about the other parent.

A better route than social services may be the police.  I would contact the Police again, update them on the situation, and say you have concerns that the child is being alienated and coached.

There was a case in the National Press a couple of years ago when a Mother's partner was accused of interfering with the children, and theFather had recorded the children saying these things and called the Police who arrested the Mother's partner.  The Police then interviewed the children and determined quite easily that the children had been coached.  The Father was sent to prison.

Obviously that is a more serious and specific accusation but it was not only clear alienation but also harmful to the children.  What your ex is doing is harmful - and she has provided evidence of what she is doing with her recordings.  It could be used against her.

Family courts only deal with contact and residence.  The Police deal with criminal matters and coaching a child is also a criminal matter if the allegations are serious - and false.

Is going to the police an option?

Bearing in mind the child is 6 years old interviewing would be an issue, when the ex sent the police to my door on the false 999 cal my daughter ran upstairs in fear and hid when the were at the door.
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#16
That is a point - however the Police have special officers for talking to children. Your ex has sent tape recordings to social services of your daughter saying bad things about you - that is a very serious issue. It consitutes emotional and psychological abuse. However emotional and psychological abuse is not taken as seriously as something like physical child abuse.

What you could do is report to the Police your concerns about coaching of the child, saying your ex has made tape recordings and sent them to social services, and ask for this to be kept on file. In case there are any further allegations of a more serious nature. Timing may be important. So get a response from social services first.

1) Wait and see if she gets her second hearing.

a) If she doesn't wait to see what social services response is to the tapes etc. If they do nothing, then write to the Police, and ask them to keep on file that your ex has been making allegations, which have been dismissed by the court and social services and these included tape recordings of your daughter saying negative things about you, which you feel are coaching and attempts at parental alienation and you wish this to be kept on file in case there are any further allegations.
b) If she does get a second hearing then contact social services and tell them this is going to court and you want them to open a case as you consider your child is being coached to try and turn her against you (don't use the words parental alienation to social services at this point). They are unlikely to get this sorted before the second hearing, so at second hearing you can say you have concerns about coaching and social services have opened a case. The court is then likely to set a date for a further hearing after social services have looked into things.

2) After social services and Court stuff completed or dismissed, write to the Police and ask them to keep the information on file the outcome in case there are further allegations.

3) If no second hearing and social services don't open a case, write to the Police and Social services and ask them to keep on file that you have concerns that your child is being coached to turn her against you and you have concerns there may be further false allegations. Stating that the court dismissed her application/allegations with the tape recordings.
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#17
Hi Scotay, I have had all above u have stated. great advice from charlie have a good read of it. Also ignore all your ex is claiming and remain calm and child focused and only respond /react to what she is saying if actually asked to. your ex is trying anything and everything to get a reaction from you. All u can do is ring police and Social services and have things logged but they dont ever do nothing. They seem to definitely act more if a mum complains though, but as dads it seems best to say nothing at all as ignored all the while. It will never stop and all u can do is safeguard yourself and prevent ex making up false allegations. 5 years for me and its just as bad now .. when will they ever stop..who knows..maybe hoping u snap i guess
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#18
Thanks Charlie, Warwickshire.

Yes this whole campaign has escalated since she found out i have a new partner of 16 months now, despite we split up 4 years ago. I know she is pushing and pushing for me to react, advice to anybody in this situation is to read up on how to deal with a Narcissist, give a good incite on how they work and its spot on for her, i know not to react but being laid back riles her more so its catch 22.

I have raised my fears to Social Care on Monday, as she sent the same documents and flash drive to them. The tell me they are looking into her behavior and her claims, i will give them to today or tomorrow to at least get back to me.

Her claims to the court of me not feeding, looking after, shouting and general abuse of my daughter are her say so against me, i don't have to nor cannot answer to false allegations.

The flash drive where supposed secret recordings of my daughter saying daddy shouts, shes frightened off and doesn't want to see again are more damning to my ex than me as they are so obviously staged.

Supposed to have access today pick up from school, my suspicions are this will be denied and my daughter off ill, as in last week, or she will be removed early. Lets see later today....
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#19
It's not about how long ago you separated - she just doesn't want another woman playing happy families with you and child - and being a "Stepmum" - a normal person would not bother and be pleased if a Stepmum was looking after their kid well. But some just feel threatened by it (and reassurance doesn't work - it's just a rivalry thing if they're that way inclined). Combined with anger at you for replacing her!

I had all the same things - not feeding properly, even to the point of being accused of "poisoning", blah blah. That came after my partner made an applie pie. All jealousy. Son is of an age where he talks a lot and it winds her up hearing about things!

It's good to have any evidence you can, by way of diaries (I do the email to myself so it's dated) or anything from social services. But the court will just dismiss it as the usual twaddle. The main issue is it is stressful, is harrassment basically and designed to disrupt any enjoyment of your life. I would not hesitate to report harrassment to the police if she sends a text or email accusing you of something and the wording is hostile. They can either record it (for later use) or give her a warning - which should stop it - because she could be prosecuted if she carries on harrassing after a warning.
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#20
Ok, Wednesdays contact was denied.

Was due to pick up daughter from school at 3:15pm, received an email from ex 2:26pm just saying "**** has dental appointment 3pm".
School called minutes later to say ex had removed her from school 2:30pm.
Called dentist, no appointment, not until May..

She emails today, favorite word again, "i have safeguarding issues", "i have been told by social services i can break court order if i have safeguarding issues".
Call social services, they say opposite. Say they wouldn't sanction anybody to break CAO.
Ex then says she will be there at school to pick my daughter up, even though i have CAO stating contact time.

So to preempt a Mexican Standoff and possible incident in the playground what do i do?

Do i stoop to her level and cause an unauthorised absence and remove my daughter from school early to stop any unsavory incident in the playground?
Should i inform the police beforehand?
Should i inform the school beforehand?
Or are they likely to call mum and stall until she arrives even though they have a copy of the court order?
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