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mother not responding to messages
#1
hi all,
I have my son 5 nights one week and 3 nights the next and it alternates.
also on her "weekend" I take him on the Sunday morning at 10am.
this has been in place for last 3 years.
over the course of those 3 years, ex ranges from being very nice, to downright abusive verbally and via text.
the final straw was a text message sent the other week in which she called me a c**t.
I told her this was unacceptable and the only way we would now speak is if it was to do with child.
she has apologised but I've said enough is enough of which she is not happy with.
she has now blocked me on WhatsApp, will not return my calls and won't reply to text messages when she is in the care of our child.
the only reason I have contacted her, is that over the last week she has not taken him to rugby training twice and his swimming lesson.
when I asked child why he didn't attend, child said 'mummy told me they were cancelled'.
child is also autistic.


Is mediation the only route now?
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#2
Do you have a court order for contact or this agreement is just between the two of you?

Does she still let you have contact as per the above schedule?
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#3
(07-26-2019, 08:28 AM)Tigre Wrote: Do you have a court order for contact or this agreement is just between the two of you?

Does she still let you have contact as per the above schedule?

hi, no court order, this is just our arrangement.  no change to seeing the child I still have the above access.
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#4
Currently, you have a significant amount of time with your son, however you are on the same legal standing as your ex until their is a court order in place.

You need to get the arrangement formalised to avoid the ex disrupting/stopping your time that you are spending with your son. Mediation would be the first and the priority would be to have a court order consented, if mediation does not work then obtain a deadlock letter from the mediator as you will need this as part of your C100 court application.
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#5
(07-26-2019, 08:37 PM)Leader1978 Wrote: Currently, you have a significant amount of time with your son, however you are on the same legal standing as your ex until their is a court order in place.  

You need to get the arrangement formalised to avoid the ex disrupting/stopping your time that you are spending with your son.  Mediation would be the first and the priority would be to have a court order consented, if mediation does not work then obtain a deadlock letter from the mediator as you will need this as part of your C100 court application.

hi, are you able to elaborate on this any further pls?  this is my first experience of all of this.
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#6
Your better off putting up with her abuse and letting it go over your head. 16 nights a month is very good , u wouldnt get that by going to family court. You could end up without any contact for a short period if things got bad
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#7
The issue with doing nothing and continuing as is will be that there is no court order in place i.e. the ex can stop contact whenever she pleases.

The arrangement needs to be formalised into a consent order as the ex is already starting to play up re: communication - she'll only get worse from here on in.
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#8
I also don't think accepting someones abuse is ideal either, if she thinks she can treat you like that it will almost certainly get worse. You could tried mediation and try and get a formalised rota done there and then get it sealed by the court.
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#9
He does have 16 nights a month at moment. Any family court action will see this reduced. Whilst contact is still happening i wouldnt be making a court application.

If i had 16 nights a month my ex can say what she likes to me haha
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#10
(09-13-2019, 12:09 PM)warwickshire1 Wrote: He does have 16 nights a month at moment. Any family court action will see this  reduced. Whilst contact is still happening i wouldnt be making a court application.  

If i had 16 nights a month my ex can say what she likes to me haha

it's not the time I have him that is the concern I don't feel that is every in jeopardy due to the fact he is autistic and very content with his routine, there is no reason that would be need to be changed; I wanted to go to mediation as I have had a communication breakdown with his Mother and I wanted to discuss finances (who should pay for what, as at the moment I pay maintenance and all for all his school stuff / outside of school activities), the fact that she needs to stop verbally abusing me, and the final one was that I take time off (2 days a week) over half terms and summer holidays to be with my son so she can work, and then I found out recently she had lost her job and hadn't worked all summer - so I could've saved my holidays and took us all for a week away.

I'm basically looking for an independent 3rd party to chair that meeting (mediation), however if you guys feel this would result in me losing time with the son then I don't see the point in pursuing it.
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