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Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Printable Version

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Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Dazzagtir - 03-30-2017

Hi,

I am very new to this forum, in fact this is my first post here.  Big Grin
I have followed the page however for roughly 4 years, absorbing some great advice.

My ex partner and I have been split now for 4 years, we have 2 boys - 8 and almost 5.

I have since moved on and met my now fiancé, we have a small boy together - just turned 3.

In those 4 years she has had multiple "undesirable" boyfriends to which I have kept away from her business as none of them have ever been serious partners that have moved into the same house as my children.

I cannot understand what my ex has been thinking during that time, all her partners have been either drug dealers or local sh*t heads with criminal records longer than my arm.
This is the complete opposite to myself, squeaky clean record, always worked and serving Army reservist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reason for this post.

My ex has a new partner who has recently moved in with her and my children.

He has lived at the address now for about 4 months, I did not know this until recently.

The guy in question is one of the most undesirable humans (if that's what you can call him) in my area.
Multiple google searches available of some previous crimes and mugshot.
He is in and out of prison on a regular basis, in late 2015 he was given a 12 month prison sentence for drug dealing (caught with over 7000 pills) and a firearm.
A recovering Heroin addict, thief, thug who also has a council property in a near by city.
As far as I am aware, he has lost custody of his son and has had to have regular drugs tests to allow him to see his son in a contact centre.
He has passed the tests and has now started taking anabolic steroids.

He lied to my children and told them he was a policeman, my children now think I am a liar when I tell them that he is not... (not a nice feeling)
I have never met the guy before and a few nights ago he took it upon himself to send me some fairly crappy messages referring to me as a mug and that if I continue To talk to my children about him, he will "personally pay me a visit".

I have tried 'Sarah's Law' via 101 and I have been told that if he has a previous for anything, they will only tell my ex...... which she already knows about his previous and doesn't care.

I lose sleep at night over this, the idea of this creature living with and bringing up my children.

Is there anything I can do.?

I have two goals in mind, get custody of my children (cannot afford courts)
Or he leaves the scene.

Am I being unreasonable.?

Thank you.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - MarkR - 03-30-2017

(03-30-2017, 06:20 PM)Dazzagtir Wrote: Hi,

I am very new to this forum, in fact this is my first post here.  Big Grin
I have followed the page however for roughly 4 years, absorbing some great advice.

My ex partner and I have been split now for 4 years, we have 2 boys - 8 and almost 5.

I have since moved on and met my now fiancé, we have a small boy together - just turned 3.

In those 4 years she has had multiple "undesirable" boyfriends to which I have kept away from her business as none of them have ever been serious partners that have moved into the same house as my children.

I cannot understand what my ex has been thinking during that time, all her partners have been either drug dealers or local sh*t heads with criminal records longer than my arm.
This is the complete opposite to myself, squeaky clean record, always worked and serving Army reservist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reason for this post.

My ex has a new partner who has recently moved in with her and my children.

He has lived at the address now for about 4 months, I did not know this until recently.

The guy in question is one of the most undesirable humans (if that's what you can call him) in my area.
Multiple google searches available of some previous crimes and mugshot.
He is in and out of prison on a regular basis, in late 2015 he was given a 12 month prison sentence for drug dealing (caught with over 7000 pills) and a firearm.
A recovering Heroin addict, thief, thug who also has a council property in a near by city.
As far as I am aware, he has lost custody of his son and has had to have regular drugs tests to allow him to see his son in a contact centre.
He has passed the tests and has now started taking anabolic steroids.

He lied to my children and told them he was a policeman, my children now think I am a liar when I tell them that he is not... (not a nice feeling)
I have never met the guy before and a few nights ago he took it upon himself to send me some fairly crappy messages referring to me as a mug and that if I continue To talk to my children about him, he will "personally pay me a visit".

I have tried 'Sarah's Law' via 101 and I have been told that if he has a previous for anything, they will only tell my ex...... which she already knows about his previous and doesn't care.

I lose sleep at night over this, the idea of this creature living with and bringing up my children.

Is there anything I can do.?

I have two goals in mind, get custody of my children (cannot afford courts)
Or he leaves the scene.

Am I being unreasonable.?

Thank you.

1, Put a Call into your local Police and then the Social Services to alert them to the situation

2, Apply to Court on a C100 for

an urgent Prohibited Steps Order, preventing him from coming into contact with your children
a None Molestion Order stopping him from contacting or aproching you
and a Child Arrangements Order, claiming exemption from Mediation due to a Child being in immediate Danger.

Evidence with your application anything you can, to show his convictions with firearms etc.

The Court will have to put Cafcass in, who will do what used to be called an Enhanced CRB check.

Contact your local CAB, and see if they can get you 30 min free legal advise fast. You might be able to get Legal Aid for the None Molestation Application, and the rest if it runs.

Due to the urgency on this thread, I am subscribing to this thread, so any posts on it come through to my mobile phone


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Dazzagtir - 03-30-2017

MarkR.

Thank you very much for your swift reply.!

I hope you don't mind but I have screenshot your reply so I can start working on all of those things first thing in the morning.

I have my children every other weekend and every Wednesday.
Every other day they are with him and my ex.

I find it so upsetting and hard to accept that as a Dad I have very little say as to what and who my children are subjected to.

I am very concerned that if I go ahead with social services etc that she will try and prevent me seeing them and make it difficult for me.

However, its worth the risk knowing that I need to try my best to get them away from a future life of god knows what.!

I thought at first that perhaps I was over reacting (like how my ex would make me believe) but after reading the urgency of your reply it has dawned on me that perhaps I need to speed the process up a little.

Regards.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Frisbos - 03-30-2017

Hi,

In case there is a court order in place already you may want to consider to apply for ultimately a reversal/transfer of residency and short term for a suspension on the residency in order to secure your children's welfare.

If there are no court orders in place and if you have PR you may also want to consider not returning the children and apply for residency.

However you would need to check this with a lawyer upfront, in order to prevent any charges brought up against you.

How or where did you get all this info about this guy? Is this reliable data? I am asking because if you go down that route and if it turns out he is just a normal bloke then you have a problem and it will backfire not just in court but also in the relationship with your children for years to come.

PS: 4 years of quiet reading? Remarkable! Smile

F.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Dazzagtir - 03-30-2017

Hi Frisbo's.

Thanks so much for the reply.!

I am due to have them this weekend so tomorrow I have alot to do and consider, I can see this being a very rough ride.

There is no court orders what so ever, currently it is just a mutual agreement that I see the children on those dates. (Lets just say its more of HER agreement that I see them on those dates, I would much rather have them alot more often.)

Here is 1 link to a previous conviction.
9 months for drug dealing and 3 months for owning an air pistol when he was banned from owning any kind of firearm.

***I have deleted the link to protect your identity*** Frisbos

I have also just realised that I have got the dates wrong this whole time.!
Its 2014, not 2015.! I'm not sure if that will make a difference.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Frisbos - 03-30-2017

Hi,

Ok, I guess you have a case if this is the guy.
The mixup with the dates will not matter.

So, basically in the absence of any order and with you having PR you could just keep the children and claim welfare concerns.

I would recommend you invest some money for some initial advise with a lawyer before you do that.

You would need to do a lot simultaneously and keep social service on board.

Important to apply straight away for the non mol order based on his text. Best case this numpty will show up on your door and then game over.

F.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Dazzagtir - 03-30-2017

Frisbo's.

Again, thank you so much for the time you have taken to reply, also thank you for deleting the link I provided after you viewed it.

I am currently financially restricted in regards to how much money I have available to do this, its very frustrating that despite the concerns, A Dad still has to pay money for anything to be done about it.!
I will however find a way to fund a solicitor as it is my children that are at stake here.

When I spoke to a police officer today he highly advised me to contact social services and ask them for more infomation regarding his background.

I have PR and I am on their birth certificates.

When we initially split up, she took it upon herself to have the children and limit the amount of time I see them, knowing full well I cannot afford to take her to court.!

My house has 4 CCTV cameras around the property, if he takes one step near my house he will be recorded and I imagine, highly likely sent back to prison.

I will do as much as possible tomorrow morning before I pick them up from school and see how much of a case I have.

Kindest regards.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - MarkR - 03-31-2017

(03-30-2017, 11:14 PM)Dazzagtir Wrote: Frisbo's.

Again, thank you so much for the time you have taken to reply, also thank you for deleting the link I provided after you viewed it.

I am currently financially restricted in regards to how much money I have available to do this, its very frustrating that despite the concerns, A Dad still has to pay money for anything to be done about it.!
I will however find a way to fund a solicitor as it is my children that are at stake here.

When I spoke to a police officer today he highly advised me to contact social services and ask them for more infomation regarding his background.

I have PR and I am on their birth certificates.

When we initially split up, she took it upon herself to have the children and limit the amount of time I see them, knowing full well I cannot afford to take her to court.!

My house has 4 CCTV cameras around the property, if he takes one step near my house he will be recorded and I imagine, highly likely sent back to prison.

I will do as much as possible tomorrow morning before I pick them up from school and see how much of a case I have.

Kindest regards.

Social Services will do a CRB Check, what will go in any report they get asked to provide by a Court.


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - Dazzagtir - 03-31-2017

I have contacted the police who have little to interest in helping, solicitors are going to get back to me, Social services alway had very little to say or offer, however I will ring them again tomorrow or Monday and speak to a different person.
'Sarah's Law' was also useless as all it done was tell my ex of his criminal convictions, of which she already know and does not care about.

I didn't sleep a wink last night worrying about all of this, I feel like there is little to no care for a father in todays society.

I went into CAB and they sent me away saying I need to contact a Family Law solicitor.

I currently have my children for the weekend and they are fine, I just cannot accept this absolute social hand grenade bringing up or being around my children and corrupting their young minds.!


RE: Separated 4 years, multiple bad partner choices. - MarkR - 03-31-2017

(03-31-2017, 03:56 PM)Dazzagtir Wrote: I have contacted the police who have little to interest in helping, solicitors are going to get back to me, Social services alway had very little to say or offer, however I will ring them again tomorrow or Monday and speak to a different person.
'Sarah's Law' was also useless as all it done was tell my ex of his criminal convictions, of which she already know and does not care about.

I didn't sleep a wink last night worrying about all of this, I feel like there is little to no care for a father in todays society.

I went into CAB and they sent me away saying I need to contact a Family Law solicitor.

I currently have my children for the weekend and they are fine, I just cannot accept this absolute social hand grenade bringing up or being around my children and corrupting their young minds.!

Court has to be the way forward, asking the Judge to put Cafcass in as a Guardian.