Separated Dads
Wife had me arrested - Printable Version

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Wife had me arrested - marks6900 - 01-01-2018

Hi, here is my worst nightmare, I have been married for 10 years to the love of my live, we have 3 children, she dropped me off at work on the 29th of November 2017 with a kiss and a cuddle, that was the last time I saw her, she did'nt come back to collect me, I rang her mobile and home phone with no reply, I had to walk 10 miles home in the dark luckily some stranger stopped and gave me a lift, once home the house was in dark and no car on the drive, within 5 minutes the police arrived and arrested me for coercive behaviour, I was locked in the police cells for 22 hours before my interview, latter released on police bail but I was not to contact my wife or go near the house, the bail was to run to the 27th of December but has now been extended till the 1st of Feb 2018 because the file has been passed to the CPS, on the 30th of Dec 2017 I was allowed to see my youngest 2 boys, as soon as they got in the car they started telling me about mummies new boy friend called Burnie, mummy has been seeing him for at least 6 months with the children so it was no shock for them when he moved in, I know who he is as its her school sweetheart from when she was 15 years old they split after 3 years due to them being to young, she is now 39, his a bit older, I feel totaly sick to the core, she has well and truly set me up, the charges are so unreal, but they have taken her seriously to get me out of the house and her ex in.

RE: Wife had me arrested - warwickshire1 - 01-01-2018

the fact you got to wait until february 2018 means there is unlikely to be any charges against you. However once they ring police once ex partners normally dont stop . I would get in touch with a mediator as soon as possible and arrange contact the legal way( its the only way ). If she refuses fill in c100 and take her to court. In meantime make sure u dont ring or text your ex partner under any circumstances unless its solely about children otherwise u will get arrested again .

RE: Wife had me arrested - Hazy - 01-01-2018

Nasty way to do things Sad

Why some people do not have the decency to at least break up like civilised people I will never understand.

You will get good advice here like in the post above.

RE: Wife had me arrested - mikeyP - 01-08-2018

Hi, couldn’t believe it when I came across your story, I’m currently going through exactly the same thing!
Ten year marriage, I have 4 kids aged 3 up to 10.
I’m out on bail, have my surrender date of next Tuesday where I’ll find out my fate.
I’m being accused of hitting her, never laid a finger on her and feel sick to the stomach. I’m so scared I’ll get charged guilty even though I’ve done nothing wrong.
Few differences, she’s not made a statement and is refusing to do so. This is because she’s lying, and knows if she goes to court she might get found out.
She’s told friends I’ve been hitting her, and they’re the ones who’ve reported it.
She slipped in the kitchen on the water from the dog bowl and banged her face on the step. This caused a black eye. She told them I hit her, which is a complete lie.
So they’re saying they’ve seen her with bruises on several occasions, but I’ve never seen any others, apart from this one which I know she did by slipping in water.
She’s doing this to get me out of the house, and ensure she gets the kids. She was worried if we separated I’d get the kids because she’s been off the rails recently, and I’ve evidence of this.
She is letting me see the kids whenever I want, and I’m betting this all through guilt.
I just want some advice, help, stories from anyone else who’s been through this, and what the final outcome was positive or negative.

RE: Wife had me arrested - invisibleintellectual - 01-08-2018

First thing - you wont get "Charged Guilty" - you will get potentially charged - but the fact that she is refusing to make a statement would speak volumes, as without this the Crown Prosecution Service are really going to have difficulty proving that you actually did this.

RE: Wife had me arrested - steph1234 - 01-08-2018

Hi Guys
Had this same issue with my ex. Had me arrested the 1st time for threats to kill and coercive behaviour? Police arrested me and interviewed me.
Whole thing was a joke. Asked me questions like why would I not let my ex have her own car insurance, why did I insist on picking her up and dropping her off when she went out with her friends and other ridicules questions.
This coercive behaviour is the CPS and police's new toy that they are trying to use now. Google it. Charges for it have gone up dramatically but so have people being found NOT guilty.
I explained that my wife was on my car insurance because being older it was cheaper to do it that way and she could drive any car we had anyway. So if your wife or husband is on your insurance you all better beware.
Explained that my ex would text me asking if I would pick and drop her and her mates off all the time and like a good husband I did most of the time. Still had the texts to prove it.
Anyway no further action was taken and since I still lived in marital home with kids (ex moved out) I was just given a PIN notice which is another waste of time and a joke.
Had me arrested 6 months later and this time for supposed stalking? Accused of driving down a main road that she was living on which I went down most days on leaving my house, driving past her when she was walking down the high street. She made out that she was so scared of me she could not go out by herself even tho the day I supposedly drove past her flat she was so frightened she left her 1st floor locked flat and run downstairs to get in her car to drive round her friends ??
Anyway to cut a long story short I went to court over it. Full trial.She even had screens put up to protect her. LOL. The CPS and her solicitor tried to get me to plead guilty on a lesser charge but I stood my ground and was found NOT GUILTY on all charges. It was a total farce should never have gotten that far but unfortunately the whole system is still very bias towards women and the police and CPS because of all the media hype have to follow it up.
I am pretty sure that if I made the allegations that she did I would have been laughed at by the police.

She also took me to the civil court to try to get me out of house. That was also chucked out of court.

RE: Wife had me arrested - mikeyP - 01-10-2018

Thanks for responding, really appreciate it. Still scared and confused, but I’ll just have to wait and see what Tuesday brings on my surrender date.
She’s still not made a statement, and I know she won’t as I know she’s lied, and is too scared to go to court for this reason. Don’t think she intended her lie to go this far, guess she just enjoyed the attention she got from it, and didn’t expect her friends to report it.
My only concern now is that her friends are saying they’ve seen bruises on her on several occasions. And they’ve taken pics of them and shared with police.
Now apart from the black eye whereby she slipped on water, I’ve never even seen these other so called bruises. But even if they do have pics, they’ve not come from me, but how on earth can you prove that, or defend against it even though it’s nonsense?

RE: Wife had me arrested - marwood - 01-11-2018

False allegations are pretty standard entries in the crazy ex-wife playbook. Mine did that, reported a fracas which she started to the police. Luckily I'd already had her arrested for being a nutcase before (which she failed to mention) and her story didn't add up so the police dropped it with no further action.

RE: Wife had me arrested - Cheese_head_1986 - 01-11-2018

It's a bit out of date but the statistics showed that In 2012, only 3,692 allegations resulted in a prosecution (roughly 4.5% of 80k accusations). Of those, just under two thirds resulted in a prosecution (2,333). So less than 3% of all allegations result in someone ever seeing the inside of a prison.

Interestingly though in roughly the same period, there were 159 cases where the CPS believed the allegation to be false. 44 of those resulted in a prosecution. So just under 28% of allegedly false allegations were successfully prosecuted.

So if false allegations are being made the accuser is statistically more likely to be prosecuted

RE: Wife had me arrested - Charlie7000 - 01-11-2018

Marks 6900 - you must be in shock. Horrible nightmare for you and as Hazy says, a nasty way to do things. Do you have somewhere to stay? Hard to get evidence gathered up if you can't go to your home. But your post on here sounds like a very straight statement and may help as a statement. Your wife dropped you off at work, all was fine. She was supposed to collect you from work but didn't turn up - you called and texted her but no reply (these calls and texts can be verified), you walked and got a lift home. The house was in darkness and the Police then arrived and arrested you.

The next time you saw your children wasn't until 30th December when they told you Mum had had a new boyfriend for 6 months (that in itself is strong evidence that the accusation is false and was planned).

I am no expert on this but maybe try and get as much support as you can from friends, family and work colleagues. Ask if anyone will write a testimonial for you.

As the others say, when there is no evidence and case closed and no charges, you will then be in a position of trying to regain regular time with your children (divorce can wait if you're not ready for the additional stress).

She wants you out of the house so she can have residence of the children - as well as moving her boyfriend in. Also had false allegations - against both of us! And the shock is horrendous.

Try and get somewhere to live with a spare room so no argument for you not to have the children to stay. Or stay with family who can accommodate the children as well. Keep coming on here. Focus on your children and getting to see them. Counselling can help deal with the shock and emotion of the sudden end to the marriage. GP can refer to counselling without it costing or you could go to Relate or pay someone initially while waiting for GP referral.

As Warwickhire says - get a mediation appointment asap. Goodle mediators in your area and ring round them and see who can give the earliest appointment. Tell them it's urgent. Sometimes you can get a 24 hour appointment. Not only is this someone to talk to but if your ex doesn't go along to second appointment (first is just for you) you can be signed off so you can apply to court to get regular time with the children asap, once you're signed off at mediation. Or you could say you don't want mediation at this stage due to the accusations of abuse, and just ask to be signed off. Print out form C100 and take it with you and the mediator signs the relevant page. You then fill the form in. Or just take the mediator page out after it's signed and add it in to the form if you make a mistake and need to re-do it.

This is an American website so not relevant legally but it has some good tips about what to do - eg changing passwords and bank details etc right now and about evidence.

I would think you would need a lawyer as well.