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Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Printable Version

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RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Sector78G - 12-04-2018

Hello, thanks for the advice.

I quite like the idea of requesting a statement so that I'm partialy protected. I'll seek advice from my solicitor about that - thanks.

I've officially accepted 50% but haven't heard back yet so unless she drops the NMO in the next 48hrs I'm in court Friday. I'll be sure to update regardless.

The NMO is a massive deal in the circumstances. My ex is so controlling - lying and dictating everything and then crying abuse if I don't agree with her. This application is just a way for her to carry on spreading lies about me to services so that I'm labeled a molester (believe me that is how she works). She wants to make it so I have no comeback whatever she says or does. It's not just the 6 months that the order would last that is an issue, with her it's the rest of my life - As someone said, why bother proving her to be a liar?...I don't care at all if she's a liar, I don't care what she thinks or does - so long as it doesn't have any effect on my life and my relationship with my kids. Trouble is, at the moment, her lies have cost me a home and not have a relationship with my children - that won't stop (it will increase) if she wins on Friday.

I'm really not prepared to live my life that way - If she gets a NMO put on me I'm likely to leave the country with the cash and start over. It sounds dramatic but a NMO+My ex = No relationship with my kids. I wouldn't hang around under those circumstances, it'd be bad for my health.

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Sector78G - 12-08-2018

Hey Dads,

Just incase anyone has been following, a quick update. If you are wanting some positivity maybe look away now.

Sadly, the hearing didn't go very well for me at all. Because of time constraints we have to return to court for the verdicts on the 17th December.

I've been advised by my solicitor that the likely outcome of the occupation order will be that I have 14 days to leave the property but I'll have to make another application to the court to seek any money from my 50% interest.

The NMO application is more complicated but it's also likely unfortunately - the ex produced more evidence that was not in her statement so I could not dispute it with evidence of my own. When I came home i checked my emails and I can prove conclusivly that what she says it's not true and out of context - Unfortunately it's too late. It's a shame because she cried when discussing this peice of evidence so it could be a major factor in an NMO. She also was asked by her barrister what i contributed toward the children during a period I stayed with my mother in 2016 - she said I contributed 'nothing'. Again, I've come home and looked at my bank statements and there was even a standing order I made labeled 'child maintenance' into her account (£130 a week). I have emails where i discussed paying for brownies, pre-school and more. Unfortunately, I don't get to prove this - the judge literally thinks i paid nothing whatsoever just because she said as much.

It's such a grim system - I have incured costs of over £12,000 so far to simply defend lies not even including yesterdays hearing (even then I have unheard evidence). I'll have to pay for an application to court to get any money from the property, I'll have to pay for a CAO but will possibly have the NMO as an obstacle and she is requesting i pay her legal fees. It's pretty tough to face that when I also haven't seen my children for the best part of a year. In the next month there's a distinct possiblity I won't even have a roof over my head. I was blamed for stopping the children being at home, when ive said since January let's split the equity and go separate ways - the ex doesn't want to take any money out of the property whatsoever - her 63,000 offer has been withdrawn. She has agreed a loan to pay me what her solicitor called 'a very generous offer of 6k to rehouse'. Despite my joint interest, the ex has no obligation to pay it to me or give reasons as to why she doesn't want to despite having provided a mortgage capacity report confirming she can raise the funds.

Trouble is, she's got me where she wants me. There's no point in pursuing any money from the property let alone fighting for the children because I literally would be left with nothing anyways.

For the first time ever I'm contemplating yoga! Dad's going through a tough time.. You are not alone.

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Sector78G - 12-09-2018

Ok so I've been thinking this over some (its hard to stop!).

As I mentioned the ex gave two peices of evidence that were not at all in her statements. On the day of court she came with a hard copy printed out too. The court heard these 2 peices of evidence (one regarding an allegation of my behaviour on a particular occasion around an invoice and the other was that she stated I contributed no money for the children during our initial separation.)

My problem is that I have not been afforded the right to defend myself on these 2 points even though I have clear, 100% rock solid proof that her points are not true in the slightest. They seem very important to the case as obviously her team were trying to make out im a freeloader. I literally have bank statements with a standing order going into her account named child maintenance and emails where the ex thanks me for other payments I made. The other new evidence she produced was basically an invoice by itelf - but she has gone into her emails disregarded the actual email correspondence and built an entire story around just the invoice. I have the original email that I sent and if you read what both I and her wrote it is an entirely different senario/circumstances to the one she puts forward.

Can I write to the court/exs solicitors saying that I should be afforded the right to defend myself from any new allegations and it has not been the case. It seems unjust - I dont want to get hung up on all the particulars that were said in court but these two allegations seem pivitol potentially. On showing the invoice, the ex broke down crying whilst telling her false sob story...a simple read of a 3 line email completely rubbishes her claims and shows shes making it all up.

As it stands the judge has a false, one sided impression to deliberate with. There must be something I can do to get my defending evidence heard? Has anyone here ever been in a situation like this?

Edit: The most crazy thing about all this is that the ex actually admits in court I have not contacted her since around febuary. But she has text me upward of 30 times - Even ad recent as last week. I could be the first person to get an NMO that hadnt even made so much as a text message! (Apart from asking for holidqy details)

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - AnotherDad - 12-16-2018

If you are returning to court tomorrow can you not take EVERYTHING printed out with you an ask that the judge considers the presented information, explaining that at the last hearing she presented partial information at the last minute and you have the following exhibits which demonstrate she deliberately tried to mislead the court / judge ?

Also if the court makes a ruling based on her inaccurate information is there not an appeal process (google leads me to think there is a 21 day window), but I'm no expert. Perhaps politely asking that the judge takes a look at your bundle presented at the last minute - tomorrow (the same as she did) such that a the judge may have a full and clear picture as you would hate for a decision to be made on impartial/inaccurate information. the Are you representing yourself or using a solicitor ?
A copy of all the text messages also showing she is contacting you - probably trying to encourage you to respond etc

There must be someone here legally trained who can respond to this ? Have you mailed the family court with the information and cc'd it to her solicitors ? The problem is the judge may have written the summing up or whatever its called before you arrive tomorrow - Maybe hand delivering the bundle to the court first thing and asking that it be presented to the judge and presenting said bundle to the other side also.....

id be doing whatever I can to get the accurate information into the system.... but I have no idea how you do this - have you phoned the family court to ask them if there is any way you can get this information before the judge (or whatever they are) ?

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Sector78G - 12-18-2018

Hello. Thanks for your advice.

The verdict has been delayed unti the 21st (this Friday).

I spoke to my solicitor who says additional evidence should not have been allowed on the day - It's hard to swallow because I can't question it or send in my evidence in response. Apparently, yes, there is an appeal process should the decision go against me - That's only if in the judge's summing up she refers to the new evidence as having been a factor in her decision making.

I did supply evidence of the text messages she sent saying she was coming into the property so the court are aware of her continually coming into the flat while I'm her with no problems - of course she tried twisting even that, saying I made her wait at the door (shock horror!) Although in truth I went out on occasions when she came over leaving her to the entire flat. They are so desperate in court to throw anything and everthing at you - I told the court that I'd text the ex to say if she gave me more than 10 min warning before she came over I could put my paperwork/evidence away and go out while she's at the flat...her solicitor said that showed what sort of a person I am, having all my evidence out! I guess that's a good sign that that's he kind of thing they are having use against me.

Shes asking for protection from violent behaviour in her application although she admits I've never been violent or threatened her....when my solicitor questioned her she said I'm verbally violent!

It's clear that I'll have to leave the flat - Does anyone know about forcing a sale to get my 50%? Are costs as astronomical as I have read? That is going to be my next step regardless of Fridays outcome. A family member who used to work in law told me if I go through court to force a sale they won't take into consideration the this true, seems unlikely to me.

At this point it seems there is literally no way for me to get anything from the property, contents or equity. The ex is under zero pressure to give me a penny.

Has anyone been in this position?

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Charlie7000 - 12-21-2018

I am sorry you got shafted at the hearing. No they are not supposed to submit evidence after statements submitted - I would appeal. Hope it goes better tomorrow - if it doesn't - appeal saying the evidence submitted against you was false, was not submitted in her statement and you have evidence to prove it was false.

Are you getting to see the kids now? I know what a stress these things are especially with those kind of costs but for Child Arrangements you can do it yourself with support on here. I am still not sure why you withdrew the application for Child Arrangements - that may have got any allegations dismissed at that stage and you may have been in a stronger position for it while still in the house (although presumably that's why she chose that moment to try and get you out of the house). Having a court order to see the kids is a start. The danger with withdrawing an application is it can be looked at that you aren't that interested in seeing them. But you can always argue you wanted to sort things out amicably or were unable to cope with proceedings when the application for the occupation order started.

You have been through the mill though. So facts are - she is trying to get an occupation order (by lying about various things) and an NMO so she can move back in and get you out - which will effectively giver her residency of the children. She will probably have been advised about NMO's by her solicitor - sadly they do suggest these things to women and things start to get exaggerated to fit an agenda (there is an article on alienation where a woman says the solicitor suggested it so she did it).

So you need to find somewhere to live. Can you afford to rent or have you got somewhere to go? It could be an idea to go to the Citizens advice bureau to get some info (difficult time of year now).

This hearing tomorrow - is it just about the occupation order and NMO? Nothing to do with child arrangements? Do you have a solicitor for tomorrow? If not write a position statement and take it along and hand it to the Judge when you go in. A position statement is just a brief "note" about the current position. You need some backup and your needs considered.

So something like:

Position Statement of Mr .......

1) My wife moved out of our home on x date taking the children with her and I have yet to apply for a Child Arrangements order and I am unable to see my children. I was applying for a Child Arrangements order but had to postpone this when suddenly a non molestation order was taken out against me.
2) False evidence was submitted by my wife at the previous hearing, that was produced on the day and was not submitted prior to the hearing along with her statement. I have had no opportunity to show this evidence was false - I have evidence which I would like to submit. This includes evidence from my Doctor.
3) I will become homeless if I have to move out of our jointly owned home - I am not working due to health reasons and my income is limited to disability benefit (or whatever). As a result I was a stay at home Father. I am currently seeking support from the Citizens Advice Bureau.
4) My wife and children are currently living with my wife's parents who have a large 5 bedroomed house with 3 double bedrooms and two single bedrooms (or whatever).
5) I request the non molestation order and occupation order be postponed pending further evidence.
6) Alternatively I request I be permitted to submit this evidence at today's hearing and request discharge of the non molestation order and the decision regarding the occupation order to be postponed.

Just type it out and print four copies - get together the bits of counter evidence you have and make four copies of each (you need a few copies to hand around to people and one to keep).

This stinks. Even if you had gone completely bananas, your wife should have behaved like a wife and called someone, got support for you and the family - not taken the children away and then forced you out of your home. This is nothing to do with occupation orders and nmo's it's to do with divorce. She's opting out but wants to keep the home and the kids. She didn't discuss anything with you, talk to you, try to get couples counselling or mediation - she just left you.

Courts don't deal with what is moral or right or wrong sometimes - they just deal with situations. But most Judges - if the clear facts are put in front of them will see there is another side to things.

Presumably if you have a Solicitor, they will be doing a position statement and taking your evidence in but I'm guessing you don't have one representing you at the moment or they'd have helped sort this out.

In fact if you get time, email the position statement to the court before you go - say in the email you wish the position statement to be given to the Judge prior to the hearing and attach it. The court's email address should be on their website. In the subject box of the email put urgent - hearing today.

If you don't get this in time then appeal.

As you're unlikely to have time to get all the evidence organised and copied before you go today then maybe just put the option asking for postponement until further evidence is seen.

You need to get tough here. She is on the offensive to prevent you keeping the home and children. As part of your evidence I would also include that initial letter from your Solicitor saying she must allow them to see you and saying she is alienating them. While this is not a Child Arrangements hearing, that letter puts the current situation in context - it predates her nmo application.

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Sector78G - 12-21-2018

Thanks for the advice Charlie, unfortunately I didn't see your post in time. Here's an update - FYI We were never married so it's not a divorce. I only mention that because I know legally it changes a few things.

Such a strange day. Not sure where to begin, so let's start with the verdicts...

The judgement on the Occupation Order: The Judge ruled in favour FOR my ex. I have until the 25th January to vacate my property & the judge agreed with my ex that her offer of 6k is sufficient payment. She is to make that payment immediately (although I have yet to receive anything almost 24 hours later). I am ordered to pay half her legal costs (including her train fares to and from the court!) which total around 4k, based on the fact I delayed things by not accepting 6k.

The judgement on the Non Molestation Order: The judge ruled AGAINST her application for an NMO, so that went in my favour. No orders for costs were granted to either party in regard to this.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy to have beaten the exs NMO application (especially as I have read about how difficult they can be to beat and are easily handed out) but I have mixed feelings about the way the judge ommited and ignored undeniable facts and made findings during her summing up in my ex partners favour regardless. I guess at the end of the day, it speaks volumes that even though my ex lied time and time again (and was believed for the most part by the judge) there was still not enough to warrant an NMO.

A word of warning based on my experience so far... Do not fall into the trap of thinking that your evidence, however factual, will automatically hold up or even be considered. In my case, it has felt like the cross examination in person on the day counts for 95% of the result and evidence just 5%. So it's a shame I put about 5% thought and energy into preparing for my questioning in the box and 95% into evidence!

For example, my ex claimed that during a previous period of separation (while I was staying somewhere else temporarily) I had made my way into the family property unannounced causing trouble and the police were called. She gave a date of April 2016 which coincides with the time I wasn't living at the property. It is true that the police were called but it was not when she said it had happened (it is important because she was trying to make it sound as though I'd continually turned up causing trouble and saying this was her evidence of that). In my evidence I supplied a police CAD number which also confirms that the date of the call was actually Jan 2015 (when I was living at home). Amazingly, in the judge's summing up, she found that she believed my ex about her account of when this all took place! Rather than make any reference to a police CAD number which factually proves my exs dates to be over a year out, she simply acted as though the only information she had to go on was our word - and found that it had taken place on the date and way that my ex claims. There is a problem with the system when police records are ignored.

There were many instances of factual evidence being completely ignored. In her findings the judge agreed with the exs claim that she had no indication as to my mental health - yet she has been supplied with several doctors letters stating that I am not a danger to anyone and stable. All the medical evidence I supplied was ignored and no reference was ever made to it - the judge found that I had infact banged my head against the wall on several occasions leaving my face 'black and blue', cut my arms and threatened suicide repeatedly. Yet, my doctor, who I saw regularly during the time in question has never seen any evidence of self harm and that was put in evidence but ignored. I did the school run during the time in question and provided the court with a letter from the school saying they never saw anything in my appearance unusual. Yet, the judge made the findings that these events had happened, based just on the exs word.

My ex's regular visits to collect things were unobstructed by me and she often text to say she was 5 mins away on the train coming back from work, the court saw these texts. She came alone. In court she said that she always had a friend with her (even though my friends have been here when she has come over alone and we left her to her own devices). The judge found that she didn't come to the flat alone and always had someone with her.

Basically WHATEVER she says is believed however far fetched. Going back to our first solicitor correspondence at the start of the year (which was made by me in relation to seeing the children) she gave reasons why she would not agree to my seeing them. At that point she had not seen a doctor's letter - this was provided and subsequently rejected and she also claimed that I had not been to my doctor's appointments since August - I have a digital WhatsApp thread where from October until December we discussed my appointments in detail and she even came with me to an appointment. Think about that for a second...she claimed that I didn't go to my appointments since August, but came with me in oct-dec! That's how deluded she is. Most tellingly I think, is that in a text message back at the start of the year she says that my son told her I'd banged his head against a wall and that with that knowledge she couldn't possibly allow me to see him. Funnily enough, she has never once mentioned this since in all her solicitors letters or court appearances. It was a one off claim she made when I asked to see him - now it has changed into I banged my own head against the wall. She has a strange obsession with heads and walls.

I bet my ex is absolutely kicking herself right now for not claiming DV ontop of everything else. She was asked during the hearing if I've ever hurt her or threatened to hurt her and she said 'no'. My feeling is that had she said 'yes' the Non Mol would have been granted. She didn't do herself much good by admitting that in the last year I've not even tried contacting her let alone molest her. I really think it's down to those two admissions (about all she said that was true) that did can a judge hand out a non mol over someone who isn't accused of violence, isn't accused of threatening violence or even contacting someone!

I think the biggest mistake I made leading up to the hearing was taking my solicitors advice that I shouldn't include certain evidence (we took a selective approach) as there was no need because we had 'addressed the important points'. In hindsight, i'd have included everything I had - if I had my way they'd have been a file up to the ceiling. The judge found that I had put myself before the children because I did not accept the 6k offer immediately, thus enabling the children to move back home. She found that I held the ex to ransom using the property as leverage to get the money I am entitled to. Infact, I have written numerous emails to many people saying how uncomfortable I am in this housing situation and that I want the children to live in their home as soon as possible. I even sent my ex a couple of text messages after she left telling her to speed up with the valuations if possible so the children don't have to be away for a long period. My solicitor didn't want me to supply this evidence and therefore the judge has made a finding based on my ex's word alone.

They do not take into consideration finances or debts whatsoever. The court ruled that 6k would be sufficient for me to rent. My overdraft is currently maxed at 3k so I do not actually have 6k, more like 3k. The court made the ruling that I have to leave my jointly owned home with a payment of 6k, solicitor fees upward of 16k (before any further action), 4k to pay toward my ex's legal fees and then there's my own 6k debt from all of this so far. I do not currently have a job and nowhere else to go. The judge found that it was not practical for the ex and children to live any longer where they currently live due to lack of space, risk of psychological damage and wait for it....'no cupboards'...a £1.3 million, 5 bedroom house on a private road. Essentially, the court have made me homeless, so don't think that your dire circumstances will count for anything - They will put you on the street, I'm living proof of that. Remember, my ex has provided a mortgage capacity report at our request that clearly states she CAN take upward of 100k from the mortgage to buy me out for the full £73.k The situation as it stands is that she has taken a loan to pay me 6k meaning the mortgage is untouched and she has it all for herself. She now has no obligation or reason to pay me any more money.

The ironic thing is, the ex argued successfully that I can work now that I am stable in my health so have the capacity to earn and pay my own way again (which I fully agree with). But at the same time she says I can't see the children because she doesn't believe I'm stable in my health.

The judge agreed with my ex that my son had behavioural issues and cited him as a heavy factor in her decision making regarding the occupation order. The judge said he has OCD amongst other issues, yet no records I have from any source have indicated that or made that dignosis apart from in the exs statement where she says it herself. Infact, the report from when he was observed in school by an outside service stated his behaviour was normal. Two days before the hearing the school reported to me (in a recorded phone call) that he had no behavioural issues whatsoever. This was mentioned in court. The ex replied 'I don't believe the school said that'. The judge accepts this despite my having factual evidence. The judge found that my 'behaviour' has emotionally had a negative impact on the children.

Remember, my ex provided zero evidence to the court in her statement apart from her own comments to services, the same services I have spoken to and who have told me that they will make a note of anything the mother says to them - they have to legally. For example she can literally say my son pulls his hair out at home and when they make note, it is used by her as evidence of fact. All her statements regarding my son are about his problems, but all the observations and findings report him as normal.

It's a strange position to be in because when I do eventually see my kids, I have a huge urge to ask them questions that I'm going to need to not do. They can easily disprove the lies and I know they would. Id never put my kids on the spot or anything like that but I am considering if there's a way of asking my 10 year old about my 5 year olds behaviour - explaining that I've heard he can be violent and ask her if he and she are ok and what she has seen in terms of his behaviour. It's a tricky one which many might think best left alone completely. But if done in a way that it is not about 'what mummy said' but more of genuine concern, then it could be of longer term benefit for them and I have the right to be concerned at the very least.

There's lots more of the same on a whole range of issues that I proved to be false with evidence but were upheld. There's no point in overthinking it because it can't be changed. If the Non Molestation had gone against me then I'd contest these sort of points and supply more evidence, but there's no grounds to submitt more, because I won.

I don't really know how to feel, it's strange to say 'I won'.

It certainly doesn't feel like a win even though I got the result I wanted most...No money, no home, no contact with the children and half an hour of hearing how I did and said things that never happened, and no doubt these findings will rear their ugly faces again.

I found the verdict hearing much more stressful than the actual hearing because you don't get a chance to respond at all. The entire time I felt like shouting out McEnroe style 'You cannot be serious'. Honestly I'm so confused, relieved in a sense because I think I'm right in saying a non mol would make any future CAFCASS dealings more difficult? Is that a fair comment?...but I'm worried about he judge's findings being used against me - If they are used against me and I have unseen evidence will I be able to show that in a CAO or are the judge's findings taken as fact?

I'd welcome any advice or thoughts or even be happy to answer any questions anyone might have if it helps someone else in a similar position.

Edit: BTW the only negative finding the judge made about my ex was that she accepts it's likely there have been exaggerations.

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Charlie7000 - 12-22-2018

Sorry it has been such a stressful day. Very pleased to hear she didn't grant the NMO. The Judge may not necessarily have believed all the things your ex said, but just made a judgement based on the fact she is assuming the Mother is the main carer and therefore the children should be allowed to return to their home. Which doesn't look out for you at all but the Judge is probably looking at it in black and white - the children need to return to their home, you and the ex are separated so you have to move out.

It sounds like the Judge has basically given your ex residence of the children. I assume she wanted you to accept the 6k to get it done quickly but surely that doesn't mean you give up all your equity in the home?

It may be that a different application/hearing will help you get your equity out of the flat once your ex has moved back, as this hearing was basically about who gets to live in the flat. It is very common that they will give occupation to a Mother with children - regardless of any other circumstances.

So right now - you need to find somewhere to live and start thinking about mediation/application for child arrangements - you can do that yourself with help on here rather than run up any more legal bills.

There are some positives - it is recorded that there is no DV - so nothing stopping a child arrangements order - you have insurance against false accusations there.

I assume the Judge thinks £6000 is enough to live on for a few months until you get working - but really what protection is that for you? I would contact the council asap and ask for housing - because you have been ordered out of the flat you have not voluntarily made yourself homeless - you've effectively been evicted - so you need that Judgement to send to the council to be high priority for housing. I think it would probably be a B&B initially but not sure depends on region maybe.

Go to Citizens Advice bureau - they are very good with housing and benefit claims. But also the local council should have an emergency housing officer you can call. It won't always be like this - but for now you need to find a roof over your head.

Whatever the Judge has said about your ex paying you £6,000, the fact is you joint own the flat and the mortgage is in joint names - so you are entitled to equity from it and she can't take over the mortgage without the building society and you agreeing. You may need further legal advice from a family solicitor (even though it's not a divorce) and/or a housing solicitor - re the finances.

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - DadDolent - 12-22-2018

Hello Sector, so sorry for all the heartache and stress you have had to go through. I really do.

I do hope you will end up with regular contact with your children, which is what matters the most.

It is a rotten system, and very often biased one, for sure. It is a hard thing to comprehend when it dawns on one at first, but when you do, you will feel better. For the most part It isn't about anything you did or didn't do in court.

I do hope you will get some of the equity from the house at least and will get some sort of child arrangement in place in near future.

At least you know you have done your best.

RE: Instructed my solicitor finally – What to expect next? - Sector78G - 12-23-2018

Heya. Thanks again for the advice.

Yes, the next steps are to a) Get to see the children & B) get the rest of the equity from the property.

In regards to equity. I've been told by the solicitor that in the new year she will write to the exs solicitors asking for the rest of the money. Obviously we expect her to not respond or not pay out - Given that we know she can afford it (but just doesn't want to pay it) we can then go down the process of trying to force a sale. Apparently, even with children, if she refuses but can afford it, the flat can be ordered to be sold. It would be a different story if she had no money or the bank refused. Also, if she refuses but is shown to have the capacity to pay it, I can apparently apply for all legal costs. Does anyone know anything about this process?

Regarding contact. My solicitor says I may have to agree to supervised contact at first - It's another weird one because although any time with the kids is better than nothing, I don't want to fall into the trap of accepting responsibility for something I haven't done. When it inveitably comes to cafcass, it would look much better for me if I have been seeing the children without supervision. I'm not too sure why I should agree to supervision when nobody has suggested it (services, doctor, social). Whatever happened to parental rights? Does anyone here think I should accept supervised contact when there is no official reason for it?

In the new year I'll begin looking into housing arrangements, so thanks for the advice above - very helpful.

Also, I want to get to the bottom of all the exs health claims about my son so that when the time comes, I can be clear with cafcass. I'm going to get my solicitor to say I'm taking him to the doctors...she surely cannot refuse that as I have a legal right to do so.

I just feel as though my solicitors back down to easily on everything and that has now caused a period of time to go by that is only of benefit to the ex. I can't pick my children up from school, call them, see them on their birthdays or Christmas, school holidays. Yet nobody, not one person except the ex has said I cannot. The school is at the end of my road and each day I can see them walk past with the exs mother.