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Going to court while ex is pregant - Printable Version

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Going to court while ex is pregant - Stinkyjim88 - 09-12-2018

Hi basically im going to court to get a court order varied, my ex is pregnant with my second child and basically her solicitor wants to pros pone the court till the new year as its near her due date and basically has  a letter from her midwife saying it would be to stressful for her. I know this sounds heartless but i spent loads of money on solicitor and going to court and i be chucking away if i stop now and feel she has exaggerated her symptoms, not only that she insists on being with me when out with my daughter in the mean time and i feel she is just bidding for time to make up another excuse. So i just wanted to know if the court would look unfavourable on me if i continue with the process? And can i take her to court still? my solicitor is away for a week cant even ask her, thanks in advance!


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - marwood - 09-12-2018

I'd respond saying that obviously you agree court is a stressful process, and therefore you would be more than happy to settle the matter out of court if she agrees to your terms or provides a reasonable response, thus avoiding the need for court appearances altogether, or at least provides a realistic offer of unsupervised contact during the interim period.

The only risk I can think of is her doing a no-show when you've paid for your solicitor/barrister, claiming some pregnancy-related illness.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - Stinkyjim88 - 09-12-2018

(09-12-2018, 03:22 PM)marwood Wrote: I'd respond saying that obviously you agree court is a stressful process, and therefore you would be more than happy to settle the matter out of court if she agrees to your terms or provides a reasonable response, thus avoiding the need for court appearances altogether, or at least provides a realistic offer of unsupervised contact during the interim period.

The only risk I can think of is her doing a no-show when you've paid for your solicitor/barrister, claiming some pregnancy-related illness.

Yes totally agree that its stressfull, her solicitor has basically said in interim that i can spend 3 hours with my daughter with her mother present and that im only allowed to bring family and friends with me with the mum present. I not happy with that to be honest as i havent been abusive/drink or done anything illegal her reason is that because while i was in the daughters residence i left her momentarily to get her some water and she fell down while with her cousin and i said maybe her cousin knocked her down by accident and because i said this she thinks i will lie about stuff. If she would no show wouldnt her solicitor act on her behalf? Thanks for the response as well.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - MarkR - 09-12-2018

(09-12-2018, 03:35 PM)Stinkyjim88 Wrote:
(09-12-2018, 03:22 PM)marwood Wrote: I'd respond saying that obviously you agree court is a stressful process, and therefore you would be more than happy to settle the matter out of court if she agrees to your terms or provides a reasonable response, thus avoiding the need for court appearances altogether, or at least provides a realistic offer of unsupervised contact during the interim period.

The only risk I can think of is her doing a no-show when you've paid for your solicitor/barrister, claiming some pregnancy-related illness.

Yes totally agree that its stressfull, her solicitor has basically said in interim that i can spend 3 hours with my daughter with her mother present and that im only allowed to bring family and friends with me with the mum present. I not happy with that to be honest as i havent been abusive/drink or done anything illegal her reason is that because while i was in the daughters residence i left her momentarily to get her some water and she fell down while with her cousin and i said maybe her cousin knocked her down by accident and because i said this she thinks i will lie about stuff. If she would no show wouldnt her solicitor act on her behalf? Thanks for the response as well.

Do you have PR for the child, as that changes everything.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - Stinkyjim88 - 09-12-2018

(09-12-2018, 04:00 PM)MarkR Wrote: Do you have PR for the child, as that changes everything.

 yes im named on the birth certificate with my first child im going to court over, not sure if she will add me to the second one, she always said she will though. Although we are separated we are legally married still also.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - TheDetective - 09-12-2018

Stinkyjim88 she will have to include you on the BC if you are still married.

I registered my 3rd child post separation and was not permitted to leave him off unless I signed a declaration saying he wasn't biologically his. If found to be untrue, there was a penalty attached (I forget what it was now).

Personally, I wouldn't agree to postpone. She could just keep on getting pregnant and asking for postponements quite frankly.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - Stinkyjim88 - 09-12-2018

(09-12-2018, 04:35 PM)TheDetective Wrote: Stinkyjim88 she will have to include you on the BC if you are still married.

I registered my 3rd child post separation and was not permitted to leave him off unless I signed a declaration saying he wasn't biologically his. If found to be untrue, there was a penalty attached (I forget what it was now).

Personally, I wouldn't agree to postpone. She could just keep on getting pregnant and asking for postponements quite frankly.

Thanks for the response, yes i think i will , as im worrying now once the baby is born she will breast feed her for long as possible to prevent me taking her out and it be i cant take one out without the other.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - MarkR - 09-12-2018

(09-12-2018, 04:46 PM)Stinkyjim88 Wrote:
(09-12-2018, 04:35 PM)TheDetective Wrote: Stinkyjim88 she will have to include you on the BC if you are still married.

I registered my 3rd child post separation and was not permitted to leave him off unless I signed a declaration saying he wasn't biologically his. If found to be untrue, there was a penalty attached (I forget what it was now).

Personally, I wouldn't agree to postpone. She could just keep on getting pregnant and asking for postponements quite frankly.

Thanks for the response, yes i think i will , as im worrying now once the baby is born she will breast feed her for long as possible to prevent me taking her out and it be i cant take one out without the other.

Under the guidlines, for a Child over 2, you should be getting at least every other weekend, and up to half school holidays.

While a Child under 2, you will get 4-6 hours a week, over 1 or 2 days.

As a person with PR, you can give consent for any medical treatement etc.

Under the law, you are not entitled to, and you do not want, contact with your ex.

You want the above on an Interium Order, so that there can be a full hearing in the new year.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - Stinkyjim88 - 09-12-2018

(09-12-2018, 05:00 PM)MarkR Wrote:
(09-12-2018, 04:46 PM)Stinkyjim88 Wrote:
(09-12-2018, 04:35 PM)TheDetective Wrote: Stinkyjim88 she will have to include you on the BC if you are still married.

I registered my 3rd child post separation and was not permitted to leave him off unless I signed a declaration saying he wasn't biologically his. If found to be untrue, there was a penalty attached (I forget what it was now).

Personally, I wouldn't agree to postpone. She could just keep on getting pregnant and asking for postponements quite frankly.

Thanks for the response, yes i think i will , as im worrying now once the baby is born she will breast feed her for long as possible to prevent me taking her out and it be i cant take one out without the other.

Under the guidlines, for a Child over 2, you should be getting at least every other weekend, and up to half school holidays.

While a Child under 2, you will get 4-6 hours a week, over 1 or 2 days.

As a person with PR, you can give consent for any medical treatement etc.

Under the law, you are not entitled to, and you do not want, contact with your ex.

You want the above on an Interium Order, so that there can be a full hearing in the new year.

Thank you so much for the advice, i will definitely be mentioning this.


RE: Going to court while ex is pregant - TheDetective - 09-12-2018

My partner has 10-6 3 days a week with an overnight every other week, with his then 16 month old.

It probably helped his case that his ex attacked him however ?.

But just to say, getting much more time is not impossible if you are able to facilitate it.