Separated Dads
school issues - Printable Version

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school issues - jamesbond - 09-23-2019

if this is in the wrong thread Admin please move to right place.
 I,ve had a look in the search box for "school" but no luck for the particle issue im having.
ok, My child started secondary school last year. I sent one email in sept 2018 setting out the situation. Asking to be kept informed of childs schooling. Also willing to attend in person so they know im genuine , thinking a basic email is not proof of parent. A long time passed with no reply. 2 email to remind them.
Following week got a phone call of some teacher. She was happy with the email and no need to attend. Being super nice. 
Whole first year has past, not one thing from school. Missed parent evening. I know the term reports aren't emailed out but given to the child (in hand) and given to parent. Im never going to get these. First question, any dads in this position? any dads get email term reports?
Also , I got to see childs school file . A note stated " if father contacts, mother to be informed". I am absolutely sick. Can I have the template to lodge a complaint please. thanks


RE: school issues - MarkR - 09-24-2019

(09-23-2019, 05:24 PM)jamesbond Wrote: if this is in the wrong thread Admin please move to right place.
 I,ve had a look in the search box for "school" but no luck for the particle issue im having.
ok, My child started secondary school last year. I sent one email in sept 2018 setting out the situation. Asking to be kept informed of childs schooling. Also willing to attend in person so they know im genuine , thinking a basic email is not proof of parent. A long time passed with no reply. 2 email to remind them.
Following week got a phone call of some teacher. She was happy with the email and no need to attend. Being super nice. 
Whole first year has past, not one thing from school. Missed parent evening. I know the term reports aren't emailed out but given to the child (in hand) and given to parent. Im never going to get these. First question, any dads in this position? any dads get email term reports?
Also , I got to see childs school file . A note stated " if father contacts, mother to be informed". I am absolutely sick. Can I have the template to lodge a complaint please. thanks

http://www.separateddads.co.uk/letter-templates-for-school-health-club-activities.html


RE: school issues - TwoWheels - 09-24-2019

There is clear official advice to schools stating that they have to treat parents equally. I’d make an appointment to see the head, take the birth certificate with you to prove you are your child’s dad and have parental responsibility, and explain that you take an active role in their life and want to receive everything that the mother receives – emails, newsletters, consent requests, reports, invites, the lot. Unless there is a court order in place that is in some way relevant, they have no grounds for refusing any of this. I’d also politely ask them to remove the "if father contacts, mother to be informed" note as your contact with the school is no business of your ex’s.
Any difficulty in getting them to agree to any of this then take it straight to the school governors.


RE: school issues - Alibash - 09-26-2019

Personally I had to get a little "heavy" (in a kind way) with the school at the beginning. I met with the office and had a telephone conversation with the teacher before I managed to get a copy of emails sent to parents sent to me as well.
As for parents evening, I call them to check when it'll be as I wouldn't be informed otherwise (same as you, it's a paper in the child's bag).
I collect my child from the school twice a month when I sometimes briefly meet the teacher and ask her things like providing a copy of school report, which she does.
We definitely need to put more effort than we should to get information from the school and GP surgery.


RE: school issues - jamesbond - 10-12-2019

many thanks lads for you replies. sorry for being late in catching up. I remember reading years ago of 1 dad in here that had to escalate his issue with the school / Similar circumstances, totally snowballed of course. The school had lied from the start and it eventually came out only after investigations.
I have a bit of inside info of whats on my childs profile (which I wont explain how here) but I am mentioned. I plan to send a very short and simple email of compliant . Then I want to go totally to war. I want to rinse this school for misconduct and get a solicitor involved. Im sure some will say don't. You only create problems with the school. I say F,,, them. Lying to me. I have been lied to by so many agencies for 10 years and im sick of it


RE: school issues - jamesbond - 11-09-2019

hi guys. looking for dads advice and experience dealing with school. Specifically dealing with a teacher/school that you know have acted incorrectly. What direction or attitude to take. I will be recording the meeting openly. thanks


RE: school issues - Sb1353 - 11-10-2019

(11-09-2019, 05:00 PM)jamesbond Wrote: hi guys. looking for dads advice and experience dealing with school. Specifically dealing with a teacher/school that you know have acted incorrectly. What direction or attitude to take. I will be recording the meeting openly. thanks

I am in a similar situation where school didn't even want to talk to me. When I arrived at the school to talk about my child welfare, I was told to leave the school before they call the police. I was shocked with their behaviour. Government guidelines makes it clear that school must treat both parents the same unless there is a court order says otherwise. In my case I complained about the school misconduct and will go all the way as far as Ofsted to show the school what they have done was utterly wrong. They not only didn't care about the child but also defended the mother and treated the father like a criminal.

I'd ask about their complain procedure and follow it all the way up.


RE: school issues - Charlie7000 - 11-15-2019

Try and be calm in Salk communications team this. Polite and formal stuff works better than getting angry with them. Do you have a court order? And is the ex the parent with care? I know some ex’s play the parent with care card to schools and schools say they have to follow what the parent with care says sometimes.

All you want is the basics - to be kept informed, get copies of reports and info about events for parents and parent evenings.

So send a formal letter like the template. I also added that unfortunately there is virtually no communication between ex and myself and request the school deal with us both separately and confidentially. And marked it private and confidential and sent to the Headteacher. I also said I was happy to receive letters, newsletters etc by email and said the paper letters only go to Mother in child’s school bag.

I also enclosed proof of PR and photo ID and said I had been parenting my son regularly since x year in my home and he is currently with me every other weekend and x night a week (sometimes they don’t even know the kid sees you!).

If they don’t reply or you get a reply saying unfortunately the Mother is the parent with care and is not in agreement with them doing this or whatever, then escalate it to the local authority education department - write your them saying you have parental responsibility and education is an important part of those rights and responsibilities and you need to be kept informed about your son. Enclose a copy of the letter you sent to the school.

So basically I would suggest not making complaints, but pushing and dealing with it in stages. The local authority have power to tell the school what to do.

If you start making complaints and getting their backs up it won’t help and will make them think ex’s view of you (no doubt she has told them something bad about you!) is correct.


RE: school issues - TwoWheels - 11-16-2019

(11-15-2019, 01:27 PM)Charlie7000 Wrote: If they don’t reply or you get a reply saying unfortunately the Mother is the parent with care and is not in agreement with them doing this or whatever, then escalate it to the local authority education department - write your them saying you have parental responsibility and education is an important part of those rights and responsibilities and you need to be kept informed about your son. Enclose a copy of the letter you sent to the school.

So basically I would suggest not making complaints, but pushing and dealing with it in stages. The local authority have power to tell the school what to do.

If you start making complaints and getting their backs up it won’t help and will make them think ex’s view of you (no doubt she has told them something bad about you!) is correct.

All schools have to have a formal complaints procedure which you can ask about and would be expected to use if you don't like their response - a complaint is defined as “an expression or statement of dissatisfaction about actions taken or a lack of action”. If that doesn’t work, if the school is an academy (two-thirds of secondary schools and one-third of primaries now are), there’s no point in going to the local authority because they have no power over academies at all. You’d have to take it to the Education and Skills Funding Agency which monitors governance at academies, or get your MP involved.


RE: school issues - jamesbond - 11-19-2019

many thanks to sb, Charlie and twowheels for taking the time to reply. For sb, Im sorry to read that you are experiencing the same shit as me. Not nice. There may be teacher dads on here so no offence is meant but.... who do these teachers think they are.
anyway, To sb, did you have a meeting booked? When you got to the school what happened? Did they have a meeting then chance their attitude?
two wheels, is it easy to find if the childs school is academy or not?
to other dads that are following and in similar place, contact the school. We need to be more pro active against schools breaking the law
cheers all