Separated Dads
Discrimination or what? - Printable Version

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Discrimination or what? - Sb1353 - 10-14-2019

I went to my child school this morning to speak with someone after my 5 years old told me that he is being abused by ex and her family. I had already sent an email to the school and introduced myself when he started school. However, when I arrived at the school and when I said my name over the intercom I was told I wasn't allowed anywhere near school and they will ring the police! I told the chap that I have parental responsibility same as child mother and they cannot treat me differently and I am here to discuss welfare concern about my child. I was asked to leave the premises or the ring the police.

I left and rang the school to speak with Headteacher. I was told he was busy so I left a message. When I said my name the lady on the phone told me that they were told that there is a court order so I cannot be at the school. When I asked if she had seen it she said no. I said to her that there is consent Prohibited Steps Order in place so I cannot remove the child from jurisdiction but it doesn't say anything that I cannot talk to the school. She said head teacher will ring me back which he hasn't.


I feel my PA has been denied and ex lied about everything and school even didn't care about concerns I had about my child. How do I complain about the school and how do I raise this concerns with the school if they don't want to see me. Surely this is illegal ignoring my PA?


RE: Discrimination or what? - Tom_W88 - 10-14-2019

i suggest raising it with your local Mp, police force and if information available the governors of the school


RE: Discrimination or what? - Sb1353 - 10-14-2019

Jus had a shocking call from social services saying that they had spoken to mother and when child kicking off she uses forces to calm heir done( this is lie as my child is always calm). She denied smacking and according to social services smashing is ok as long as it won’t leave bruises. SS also said school spoken to the child and he didn’t disclose anything so they are closing the file. I even provided video footage that child crying out for help. I am angry that my child has been let down by the system. I want to take this matter to the court if someone there listens to my concerns. Let down by the system again!


RE: Discrimination or what? - Charlie7000 - 10-15-2019

Can you email social services. Sometimes putting things in writing can put it across to them in a different way, plus it's a record. Language would need to be very formal and polite and carefully worded to explain the bigger picture.

That you have concerns that the children are "kicking off" because they cannot see you. And that the Mother punishing them for having feelings of loyalty to their Father is not only inappropriate but harmful to them. That you wish them to keep an eye on things as you are concerned for the childrens emotional and psychological welfare and concerned that physical punishments may go too far. You are also concerned that some physical punishments don't leave a mark - eg hitting around the head. That currently Mother is trying to prevent the children seeing you which is why you have a court application in progress and until this matter is complete, the children will be under stress. That you agreed to see them in a contact centre until matters are complete and you are very worried at the things they are telling you.

That because there is a court case which Mother wants to "win" and prevent contact, she will also want the children to say negative things about you. That the children are resisting this because they love both their parents and that the punishments constitute emotional harm, even if physically they are within "boundaries". That you have concerns at attempted parental alienation by the Mother and that punishments will cause fear and for the children to do and say what they are told.

That you ask them to keep your emailed concerns on file.

Keep putting concerns in writing and ask for them to kept on file.


RE: Discrimination or what? - Sb1353 - 10-15-2019

Thanks Charlie7000. When ex hit the child it did leave bruises but she made up stories and fooled both school and social services. Now the child is old enough to speak up but let down by social services. Sounds advise I’ll email them. I know for the fact that bother ex and her mother hitting the child. Ex and mother have mental health issue. Ex told me that she used to spank her when she was a child and now she is doing it to her own child.

In regards with school, they have come back telling that based on communication they had with my ex they followed they safeguarding procedures but not allowing me to school. Basically ex poisoned them and they believed her without checking paperwork’s. Looking at government guideline they have breached it as they need to treat bother parents equally but it my case they sided with the mother. I complained to headteacher but an admin officer got back to me with the above explanation that was poorly worded. I do want to take this further. Do I complain to local authorities that school breached government guidelines?

Do you have the same experience with your children services that even a child in danger of domestic abuse they will investigate it by phoning the mother rather than speaking with the child in person? Surely mother will deny everything.


RE: Discrimination or what? - Charlie7000 - 10-15-2019

I know. That is why the school needs to be asked to keep an eye on things. Difficulty is it seems she has already smeared you to the school. Could someone else in your family write to the school and say there are concerns over excessive physical punishments by the Mother, and could they keep an eye on things.


RE: Discrimination or what? - marwood - 10-15-2019

Do you have a CAO in place or just a PSO?


RE: Discrimination or what? - Sb1353 - 10-16-2019

(10-15-2019, 10:46 PM)marwood Wrote: Do you have a CAO in place or just a PSO?

There is no CAO just consent PSO. I agreed with it just to see my children.
My solicitor wrote to children services to receive a copy of their assessment. I made 2 referrals so there should be 2 assessment. I know for a fact that they just phoned the mother and did nothing. If that's the case the matter can go to the court.

I also received an email from school headteacher that he would like to see me after I asked for their complaint procedure. According to government guideline they have to treat both parents the same regardless.


RE: Discrimination or what? - Sb1353 - 11-05-2019

Update
I went to see the headteacher as he wanted to see me informally before I make a formal complaint. I was told that they were told by the police that I could not be near the school. He then told me that police told him next day. I asked him why school treated me the was they did the day before? He couldn't answer me. I asked him name of officers he spoke to so I can make a complaint to the police why they are getting involved on a civil matter and advising the school.

I also showed him PSO that only says I cannot remove the children from the UK. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't a lawyer etc. I stopped him saying as a headteacher you understand simple English and showed him wording of the consent order. He made no comments. I therefore made a formal complaint from the school and waiting for an answer.

I got police officers name who advised the school and made a complaint against them. Today police Sargent told me they were told by the school that I was abusive at the school which is complete lies. I was with my partner and there is CCTV's so this can be easily investigated. So after all that scumbag school teacher told me lies for their wrong action. I am willing to take this matter as far as Ofsted to teach the school a lesson that they cannot take sides with a lying parent and treat the other like a criminal based of falls allegations.


RE: Discrimination or what? - SeanS - 11-05-2019

with you all the way there - well done being persistent and fighting for the justice. Anyone can allege anything ( including head teacher, police even) but they have to back it up with the evidence. No evidence no wrong doing ! By the way the head teachers are supposed to understand the basic legalities as they do get involved with the family matters. Go get them Sb1353