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Ex wife won't communicate - can't contact Son
#1
Hi, 

Hope someone can provide guidance.

Up until now was seeing my son (aged 11) every other week, staying 1 night.

Due to an argument with my ex, she no longer answers the phone and thus I can't speak to my son or have any way of making arrangements to see him.

To be honest - I don't get to see him as much as I like (weekends or holidays) - she normally cancels last minute when I am to see him and don't get to rearrange, saying he is too busy or has other plans.  Worried he is being brainwashed and will say he does not want to see me as he will side with his mum.  When he is with me is fine and seems to enjoy our time together.

What shall I do next?  Can I go straight to court and get a decision - I don't think mediation is going to help unless the law tells her what should be done.  The divorce took ages to finalise so I don't want this to drag on and not be able to see my son.

Thanks
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#2
Hi Pool 2017,

This is the issue with informal arrangements, the ex can get itchy feet all of a sudden. You need to apply for a child arrangements order in the first instance but mediation is a compulsory part of this process. If you attend mediation and no agreement is reached, you will be given a signed form which is to be included with your court application. You'll have the chance to specifically state what you are looking for in terms of contact time within the court order application
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#3
(10-30-2018, 11:58 AM)Leader1978 Wrote: Hi Pool 2017,

This is the issue with informal arrangements, the ex can get itchy feet all of a sudden.  You need to apply for a child arrangements order in the first instance but mediation is a compulsory part of this process.  If you attend mediation and no agreement is reached, you will be given a signed form which is to be included with your court application.  You'll have the chance to specifically state what you are looking for in terms of contact time within the court order application

Thanks - is this something I should have done at the time of the divorce?  To be honest I would like something formalized as I am being marginalized as time goes on and will not get to form any relationship with my son.
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#4
Mediation rarely works unless you have a good relationship with the ex. The legal requirement to apply to court is to have attended a MIAM (the first information session which you go to on your own). They then contact the ex and invite her. If she won't go or doesn't turn up you ask the mediator to sign you off and you need that sign off to apply to court. Don't waste any time getting on with it as the longer you don't see him the more chance she has to alienate him.

When it's in an order then it's enforceable. ie if she prevents you seeing him you enforce the order and a Judge can penalise and/or vary the order say to more time or different arrangements to try and ensure she keeps to it. If you have to enforce more than three times they can even add a clause to say if she does it again then residence will be transferred or some other incentive to make her comply. Your son has a legal right to a regular and significant relationship with both parents. You have legal parental responsibility and are therefore entitled to be involved in any educational or medical decisions regarding your son - because you're equally responsible for him.

The fact that the divorce is out of the way is good - you can focus on the child arrangements. Do you want to see him more than once every two weeks? It doesn't sound very much. If you're happy with that then ask for that. If you want more then ask for more. The standard is every other week-end and a midweek overnight plus half the school holidays. You could ask for that saying your ex would not agree to more than one night a fortnight and is now preventing all contact, even by phone.
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