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Hi and Pre-Seperation anxiety......advice?
#1
Hi All,

Just joined and would like some advice with the mess that is my head at the minute.

I am still married but desperately unhappy. I have been with her about 16 years, married 12 and we have 1 child who is 8.5 years old. Like all marriages we have had ups and downs but the past 3-4 years have been rough. My wife is a recovering Alcoholic and has been for over 20 years. At first i never really noticed as we were going out loads together and drinking together but as that started to settle down she continued drinking more or less every evening. This would lead to arguing and tip toeing around so as not to set off another argument (which would always be my fault). living like that and with the time she went off to her getting drunk at girly house party and didn't come home until 9 in the morning when some blokes came back to the party (this is the only time blokes came back and the only time she didn't), i have kind of had enough. 

i didn't push anything years ago after that night as my kid was so young that they wouldn't of know who i was as a person growing up. We have a great relationship now (me and kid) and i am glad i made that decision so he would know me but i feel the gap between me and my wife is massive. She has tried to quit a dozen times and although she is sober now and seems like she means it (sober a few months) i have heard it all before. I am waiting for the day she picks up the bottle again, which is doing my head in.

She seems to think that the past is the past so lets move on to the future. I am not sure that is ok with me. I feel like the trust has gone and wont be back.

What i am asking in a long winded way is.

- Was everyone else bricking it when they split up?
- How hard is it only seeing your Children 50% of the time? - i know i will get this as she now everything is her fault through drinking.
- Did your children resent you if you were the one who instigated the split?
- Did your kids go off the rails or did they like spending separate quality time with each parent?
- Did you feel it was for the best in long run or do you have massive regrets about splitting up?

its not being alone that bothers me, i kinda like my own company but my head is mashed at the minute trying to do the right thing mainly by my kid and would appreciate some advice.
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Hi and Pre-Seperation anxiety......advice? - by NorthernViking - 01-06-2017, 12:57 PM

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