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On the benefits of total separation from our ex partners
#10
(08-11-2018, 08:16 PM)Tamagoto Wrote: The least you can do with all her stuff is box it all up and seal it. Next best is putting those boxes in storage. Even better is delivering them to her family. Best is delivering to her.

Get it all out.

I even changed the cutlery and mugs.

That's proper bad ass separation skills right there - even I didn't think of that - granted my stuff is just plain white stuff from IKEA. Also - you will need to do regular sweeps right? Even yesterday I was sorting the old tech drawer out and ended up with a bag of crap to leave in the garage for her, including her old notepad who, my 15 YO daughter informed me 'that's what mummy used to look at porn on, older man porn'.....

(08-12-2018, 12:22 PM)Jim Wrote: Hi Tam. Thanks. It seems almost an act of spite or despair but I think I'm at that point.

LATER. Made a start. Moved a large proportion of the stuff into a cupboard in one room. The trouble is it's not just 'hers' it's a kind of ours because of all the memories. It's a previous life that looking back starts to look like a dream or another world.

Jim - Sorry, but for you there is no more 'ours', it's over!

Anything that is hers is her property, just box it up, seal it and put it in the garage for her to collect, or drop it off somewhere for her. If its joint stuff, think photos, wedding albums, keepsakes from trips away then its now valueless tat, its emotional as hell to stick it in a box, but once its done its done and you can tell her to either collect it for her to pour over or take it to the dump. You will feel better for it.

That old world, that other world doesn't exist any more and is holding you back.

Imagine the shock of my first proper girlfriend after my wife and I split, when she came back to my house and on the third or fourth visit realised 'my' house was full of my exes stuff, she said to me it doesn't feel like you've separated....
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RE: On the benefits of total separation from our ex partners - by Mr Sandman - 08-13-2018, 11:39 AM

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