Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
her affair has floored me....
#2
(10-31-2017, 11:46 PM)scottb Wrote: Hi all....first time post...need some help please.

A year ago on Halloween my partner of 15 years and mother to my 2 kids tells my she doesn't love me anymore and can't go on like this....but we never separated. It's been a pretty bad year ups and downs. ..so Halloween is a bad time for me.. this year is even worse. Was her birthday on the Saturday before Halloween...goes out with her pals ( as usual ) and I stay at home and put kids to bed ( as usual ). Midnight and I get a text going to stay at her friends house see you in the morning x. So thats me up all night with the usual worries....where....who...and what's she up 2. Next thing I know she sneaks into bed at 5.30 with some bs story. All the signs have been there for a while but just didn't see them until now. So go about my day with the kids while she's laying in bad with her so called hangover. Just come back from my run that night and her phone starts buzzing.....this is when it goes horribly wrong...I know I shouldn't have but yes I did...looked at her phone.  There it was the the build up the details and the after...I won't go into details but it was way to much information...I nearly fainted....was shaking  couldn't believe what I was reading the whole fckn night was there in front of me....After an hour in the shower i goes and starts to quiz her about her night not letting on that I knew just to see what lies she would come up with....

Now 3 days on and I still feel sick....angry...scared....worried....sad....but now I know what I need to do. sepertion is the only way. She wants this but I think she wants me to start the ball rolling. So this is why I'm on here. Need help ....where do I start?????

Hi Scott,

I'm new to this too, three weeks into a separation and still living under the same roof. Don't think I'm a victim of my ex having an affair, but you never know.

My first suggestion would be to speak to a solicitor and find out where you stand

Second bit of advice is DO NOT MOVE OUT until you've been through mediation for care of the kids.

Weather the storm, stay strong for the kids - they're the most important in this and they're the ones that will feel the life-long effects of the separation, if it isn't handled correctly.

My first port of call when the ex announced it was to google "Effects of divorce on kids" and "Effects of separation on kids", do your research there before even thinking about yourself or the financial aspect.

You are in a unique position of having the upper hand right now, she doesn't know that you know and hopefully you haven't let on - arm yourself with as much information as possible, as this will be invaluable to you once things get moving.

EDIT: Look after yourself too, stay away from drugs and alcohol and try to eat as healthily as possible. Keep that running up. When you feel sad/stressed/angry, go for a run. Your kids need the strongest, healthiest Dad possible, so be that for them.

As I said, I'm new to this too, so not able to offer much more than that...there are, however, far more experienced fellas than I on this forum, although I've not had too many replies to my initial post I've been poking around here for a few days and have taken solace in the fact that I'm not alone, but just reading about other guys experiences has made me aware of the situation I'm in. So use this forum too. Just get yourself as much information as possible to arm yourself for the future.

Best of luck.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 10-31-2017, 11:46 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by AKentishMan - 11-01-2017, 09:56 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 12:39 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-01-2017, 01:03 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 01:57 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-01-2017, 02:41 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-02-2017, 12:40 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by LTCDAD - 11-01-2017, 03:10 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 11-01-2017, 03:53 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 04:10 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-01-2017, 04:21 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 09:17 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 11-01-2017, 10:59 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-02-2017, 01:38 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 07:29 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-02-2017, 09:33 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 10:44 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 11-02-2017, 11:05 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-02-2017, 12:22 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-02-2017, 11:09 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 01:53 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by LTCDAD - 11-02-2017, 03:39 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 10:22 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-03-2017, 01:47 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-06-2017, 08:56 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-07-2017, 07:50 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-14-2017, 07:15 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-14-2017, 08:53 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-16-2017, 06:58 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 01-22-2018, 01:59 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 01-22-2018, 03:22 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 01-22-2018, 10:51 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Mr Sandman - 02-15-2018, 12:12 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 03-02-2018, 11:37 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Mr Sandman - 03-03-2018, 09:28 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)