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her affair has floored me....
#4
They will do that, twist and turn it onto you.

I found pictures of my wife fellating a complete stranger, in a car park in the New Forest (They call it dogging) , to which she tried denying it, and I proved her false as she was wearing a necklace I had bought only the month before, then had the audacity to say this!=

"what were you doing on my computer" !!!!!

That kinda floored me!

(11-01-2017, 12:39 PM)scottb Wrote: Thanks AKentishman

This portal is a great help...so much good advice and posts that I can relate to.

As for my kids....you are 100% right they are my no1 importance in this...I really fear that my daughter is going to take this so hard it's killing me inside. I have already looked into how we go about telling the kids...and got some great pointers.

Aso for a solicitor I have contacted citizen advice and they have given me a contact to one of there family solicitors first time is free so that's good..

And as for her affair....not sure what to do about that..she doesn't know I know yet I don't think....she might have thought I did when I started to quiz her about her night...she deleted all the messages from him...not sure what to do about that...when we sit down to talk about this, I will be the bad one for starting the ball rolling...not sure she should get that one on me....but on the other hand, I need this to go as peacefully as possible..things might get messy if she knows she has been caught out.....

Thanks for your reply....I don't have anyone to talk to about this....so any advice is more than welcome

As for the affair.
I can sympathise ( a lot more than most) my ex witch   wife, had multiple men, in my bed, on a car bonnet in the new forest, and they even paid her for it, which I was physically sick and puked  up over (first thing I did was get tested). I estimate from accounts from the kids, well over 100 men!
I then found she was on escort sites etc.

So.....moving on. My feelings about the affair....dont do what I did and try and gloss over this. This was her second affair...I LOL about that affair, as I am not sure you can count that many men as an "affair".
I stayed focussed for the kids and tried to be happy.
But
All it did was the same as drinking a glass of acid! it bored inside of my head, and ate away at me for years and years. When I found out about the multiple accounts, it was via installing key logging software on her computer, and seeing she was intending to go off again!. 
I also found out that the baby I thought was mine, that unfortunately died of cot death at 4 months, (27 years ago) was not mine either as I was away on military service at the time! she had lied to me for 20 years!

So staying with the kids and trying to lead that normal life, didnt work for me. It might do for others, but it just made the whole split a completely venomous and vitriolic affair.
The kids have probably been affected by this all, but I feel that I should have finished it all many years before on the first time, as there was absolutely no trust at all after that!

If you listen to my advice then im cool. If you dont and go your own way I am cool too. My situation is akin to a complete series of jeremy Kyle, let alone a 15 minute  slot. 
But for me, don't delay this. If it means splitting up then so be it. Sounds rough yes, but I tell you now, delaying the inevitable and sorting this out will be more painful than you may think. As for the kids, they will see you both change. Despite your best efforts to conceal this from them and act "normal" they will notice the changes however subtle.
for my experience. I wish......
I had split on the first time round and learned lessons then
I had had the courage to go through and split up and "not stay for the kids", to me in the long run it is worse for them.

The confrontation with the evidence I had came out, and I really went to town, spilled my guts on how I felt for once!. Her answer........."I just wanted some attention"............really...sought that from the wrong people then didn't you! 
It was painful, nasty and hurtful and one of the worst days of my entire life, but I am glad I did it, took the step and confronted her with all her lies. IT was a massive release, but I cried so bad I had to pull over on the motorway as I couldn't see where I was going!

Yeah there will be pain, tears, grief and a whole host of other feelings, but for me, it was the only and best way to get out of this crappy situation and stop being lied to, and stop deluding myself I may be able to fix it. I spent 20 years trying to fix it, and I failed. For an engineer, military trained, failure was hard to take, I crumbled and went under. (Thats another story)
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Messages In This Thread
her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 10-31-2017, 11:46 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 12:39 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-01-2017, 01:03 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 01:57 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-01-2017, 02:41 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-02-2017, 12:40 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by LTCDAD - 11-01-2017, 03:10 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 11-01-2017, 03:53 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 04:10 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-01-2017, 04:21 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-01-2017, 09:17 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 11-01-2017, 10:59 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-02-2017, 01:38 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 07:29 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-02-2017, 09:33 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 10:44 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 11-02-2017, 11:05 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Drew65 - 11-02-2017, 12:22 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-02-2017, 11:09 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 01:53 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by LTCDAD - 11-02-2017, 03:39 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-02-2017, 10:22 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-03-2017, 01:47 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-06-2017, 08:56 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-07-2017, 07:50 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-14-2017, 07:15 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Petem - 11-14-2017, 08:53 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 11-16-2017, 06:58 AM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 01-22-2018, 01:59 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by watsa64 - 01-22-2018, 03:22 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 01-22-2018, 10:51 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Mr Sandman - 02-15-2018, 12:12 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by scottb - 03-02-2018, 11:37 PM
RE: her affair has floored me.... - by Mr Sandman - 03-03-2018, 09:28 AM



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