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what to do
#1
Hi all,
i have separated from my wife 2/3 months ago. She has moved out and have agreed a financial settlement which is more that she is entitled to but i am happy just to be on my own. i have now met someone new and my wife is starting to accuse me of rape. The nite in question we were both drunk i had sex with her didnt use any force or at any time did she say no. She says she has recordings of all my convosations with her but none of them will be incriminating. She is telling people what i have done. what should i do? we r not yet diovorced
Thaks
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#2
Has she made any allegations to the police? If not, then you've got nothing to fear legally, however I can understand the damage "Chinese whispers" can do. If it continues you may want to seek some decent legal advice, but for now if you hear anything from anyone just point out to them that it's funny how these allegations only started once you'd found someone else. Hopefully they'll draw the right conclusions.
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#3
(04-12-2016, 03:02 PM)Norfolk n Good Wrote: Has she made any allegations to the police? If not, then you've got nothing to fear legally, however I can understand the damage "Chinese whispers" can do. If it continues you may want to seek some decent legal advice, but for now if you hear anything from anyone just point out to them that it's funny how these allegations only started once you'd found someone else. Hopefully they'll draw the right conclusions.
I agree with Norfolk, but also if the Police do turn up, do not have any conversations with them without a Soliciter present, just offer to go to a station where they can arrange for either your or the Duty Soliciter to attend. Regardless of if your under arrest or not, anyone accused of a crime being interviewed under PACE has the right to a free Soliciter.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
Thank you for your comments.
No she hasnt informed the police just saying she is gonna put it in the divorce atm, but obviously i will not agree to that. Am just worried what this will do to my daughter(our) whos 12. I have a better relationship with her than my ex we share care 50/50.And also worried i will get a knock on the door from the police. My ex has been in rehaba few years back, has struggled with depression, tried to kill herself and self harmed a few yrs back but still drinks!!!! I call the police a couple of yrs back as she went crazy after drinking would they still have that on file, they came out the next day to see if all was ok?
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#5
(04-13-2016, 06:11 AM)frustarted73 Wrote: Thank you for your comments.
No she hasnt informed the police just saying she is gonna put it in the divorce atm, but obviously i will not agree to that. Am just worried what this will do to my daughter(our) whos 12. I have a better relationship with her than my ex we share care 50/50.And also worried i will get a knock on the door from the police. My ex has been in rehaba few years back, has struggled with depression, tried to kill herself and self harmed a few yrs back but still drinks!!!! I call the police a couple of yrs back as she went crazy after drinking would they still have that on file, they came out the next day to see if all was ok?
Have you got PR for your daughter, what would of been automaticly in law if you was married to her mum at time of birth, or if since you have gained it by court or by being present and registering the birth, so named on the certificate?

What was she in rehab for, was it drink or drugs and if so, does she have any Police record related to what she was in it for?

Depression does not come into it as such unless you can demonstrate it affecting your daughter, for example ability to make best decisions relating to her, but what also we need to know to advise, is does any prove exist (not hear say in law) about the self harming and trying to kill herself? Her drinking only comes into it, if you can prove she is dependent on it, or that it questions her ability to look after your daughter.

I know your saying 50/50, but one of you has to be the resident parent for benefit reasons, and that has to be the person the child stays with the most, as they get child benefit what passports ability to claim tax creditrs and the childs occupancy is courted for Social Housing and any Housing Benefit claim.

With what info is availible right now, I think you have a good chance of getting custody if you went for it (or close to 50%), and depending on the above answers that might improve.

Do not worry about anything she puts in the Divorce, just put your own statement in confirming it did not happen and was never reported to the Police.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#6
(04-13-2016, 08:00 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-13-2016, 06:11 AM)frustarted73 Wrote: Thank you for your comments.
No she hasnt informed the police just saying she is gonna put it in the divorce atm, but obviously i will not agree to that. Am just worried what this will do to my daughter(our) whos 12. I have a better relationship with her than my ex we share care 50/50.And also worried i will get a knock on the door from the police. My ex has been in rehaba few years back, has struggled with depression, tried to kill herself and self harmed a few yrs back but still drinks!!!! I call the police a couple of yrs back as she went crazy after drinking would they still have that on file, they came out the next day to see if all was ok?
Have you got PR for your daughter, what would of been automaticly in law if you was married to her mum at time of birth, or if since you have gained it by court or by being present and registering the birth, so named on the certificate?

What was she in rehab for, was it drink or drugs and if so, does she have any Police record related to what she was in it for?

Depression does not come into it as such unless you can demonstrate it affecting your daughter, for example ability to make best decisions relating to her, but what also we need to know to advise, is does any prove exist (not hear say in law) about the self harming and trying to kill herself? Her drinking only comes into it, if you can prove she is dependent on it, or that it questions her ability to look after your daughter.

I know your saying 50/50, but one of you has to be the resident parent for benefit reasons, and that has to be the person the child stays with the most, as they get child benefit what passports ability to claim tax creditrs and the childs occupancy is courted for Social Housing and any Housing Benefit claim.

With what info is availible right now, I think you have a good chance of getting custody if you went for it (or close to 50%), and depending on the above answers that might improve.

Do not worry about anything she puts in the Divorce, just put your own statement in confirming it did not happen and was never reported to the Police.

Hi there, yes was married at time of birth. The custody is split completely 50/50. She gets child benefit which i dont think is fair as she earns more than me, i am self employed plasterer. Quite happy with 50/50 atm unless she does start to go off the rails again.  Rehab was for drink and drugs. I suppose proof about her suicide attempt would be on her record??? and she went to hospital for deep cuts to her arms where u could see the tendons. She has scars up her arms.
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#7
(04-14-2016, 07:09 AM)frustarted73 Wrote:
(04-13-2016, 08:00 AM)MarkR Wrote:
(04-13-2016, 06:11 AM)frustarted73 Wrote: Thank you for your comments.
No she hasnt informed the police just saying she is gonna put it in the divorce atm, but obviously i will not agree to that. Am just worried what this will do to my daughter(our) whos 12. I have a better relationship with her than my ex we share care 50/50.And also worried i will get a knock on the door from the police. My ex has been in rehaba few years back, has struggled with depression, tried to kill herself and self harmed a few yrs back but still drinks!!!! I call the police a couple of yrs back as she went crazy after drinking would they still have that on file, they came out the next day to see if all was ok?
Have you got PR for your daughter, what would of been automaticly in law if you was married to her mum at time of birth, or if since you have gained it by court or by being present and registering the birth, so named on the certificate?

What was she in rehab for, was it drink or drugs and if so, does she have any Police record related to what she was in it for?

Depression does not come into it as such unless you can demonstrate it affecting your daughter, for example ability to make best decisions relating to her, but what also we need to know to advise, is does any prove exist (not hear say in law) about the self harming and trying to kill herself? Her drinking only comes into it, if you can prove she is dependent on it, or that it questions her ability to look after your daughter.

I know your saying 50/50, but one of you has to be the resident parent for benefit reasons, and that has to be the person the child stays with the most, as they get child benefit what passports ability to claim tax creditrs and the childs occupancy is courted for Social Housing and any Housing Benefit claim.

With what info is availible right now, I think you have a good chance of getting custody if you went for it (or close to 50%), and depending on the above answers that might improve.

Do not worry about anything she puts in the Divorce, just put your own statement in confirming it did not happen and was never reported to the Police.

Hi there, yes was married at time of birth. The custody is split completely 50/50. She gets child benefit which i dont think is fair as she earns more than me, i am self employed plasterer. Quite happy with 50/50 atm unless she does start to go off the rails again.  Rehab was for drink and drugs. I suppose proof about her suicide attempt would be on her record??? and she went to hospital for deep cuts to her arms where u could see the tendons. She has scars up her arms.
She is only getting the Child Benefit (what gives her entitlement to claim tax crediits and the childens occupancy considered in terms of housing claims)as its not been contested. You having the children for 51% or more time, either on court order, Mediation agreement or just by agreement with your ex (in a way you can prove) would change that. How is it 50/50, has any agreeement or court order happened?
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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