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total waster
#1
Hi Guys

Dont normally go on these sites but my experiences have been so outrageous that maybe they can be helpful for someone somewhere.

I was first together with my ex between the ages of 18 and 22. That relationship ended when i was 22 shortly after my father died when i found out she was cheating with what was to become her first husband. She went on to have two children by him and at 28 i met someone and had a son.

In 2003 we met again during her divorce from her first husband who she claimed was abusive controlling and horrible to her kids. I tended to believe it as i bought her a car which he subsequently smashed up with a hammer!

In 2005 i bought a pub and for the next 6 years we split our time btw the pub when i was working and her rented house when i was not.
In 2011 she fell pregnant with our beautiful daughter so i left the pub with 10000 and spent it on her house new carpets,decorated throughout new furniture beds efc etc.

I also to her to Africa on safari, as a surprise for her 40th birthday and we got married on a beach.

I should have known what was to come when she threw her £2000 wedding ring up the road shortly after we returned after an arguement and lost it.

When I moved in full time she went from bad to worse-constantly complaining never happy always criticising me. Dont get me wrong i nwas no angel but the more she gave me crap the more i wanted to not be there.

Six months after my little princess was born despite previous agreements to the contrary she decides she wants to go back to work. She gets a part time job in a doctors mon tue thur and all day fri and gets a job in a pub tues night wed night and fri night.

By now we are sleeping in seperate rooms and barely seeing each other.

Early last year she starts tyelling me to move out which i refuse to do so she decides after a row to call the police. They tell me to go somewhere else for the noght and I refuse so they arrest me. Spent all night in the cells then interviewed and released with no further action. Another few months go by and she calls the police again but this time i agree to leave despite doing nothing and they leave.

In nov 2015 she freaks out coz im 10 mins late home with the car and kicks me hard in the leg. I decide to give her a bit of her own medicine and call she police. She is arrested on suspicion of assault.

From then I believe she started planning. On the previous six weeks before Mothers day this year she comes home at 10 am on Sat morning after her Friday night shift in the pub. On the Sat b4 Mothers day on 8th March she comes home at 10am. My daughter and I bring up breakfast in bed at 12 with her cardsa and presents. She goes back to sleep the wakes up at 3pm and starts giving me crap for not doing dinner or tidying up. I tell her to duck right off and she calls the police.

I npack my work clothes and tools and leave for my sisters. My 16 yr old son is at his mothers. THe next day he stops at the house to get his school books and she has changed the locks.

On the Friday I get a visit at my sisters from a court baliff serving a non molestation order on me.

She has alleged I have been violent abusive intimidating etc (a total pack of lies) this was granted in my absence.

She gets legal aid because she is alleging domestic violence. I have to pay a minimum of 150 per hour for a solicitor. I decide to represent myself and prepare a statement refuting all her allegations. During the month before we are due back in court she contacts me and we see each other on three different occasions one of which i stayed at the family home and spent the next day with her and my little girl.

When i got back to court a week ago I presented my statement and asked for the non mol order to be discharged on the basis of contact btw me and her on numerous occasions btw the granting of the order and the court date. The judge ignored me and sent the case for trial in 30 days. She now has to provide evidence supporting 5 of her allegations.

In the mean time despite telling everyone who will listen that she will never stop me seeing my daughter she has told her solicitor i have been "threatening " in my communication with her regarding my daughter (despite the fact i have only ever texted her and have all texts to prove i havent!) and all contact has to be done thru the solicitor.

I never saw all this crap coming. I am convinced she is seeing someone else (not that i care) but is trying to control me. All i care about is my daughter but she is making it impossible to do anything amicably.

Let this be a warning. The system is hugely skewed towards the woman but i will NOT be labelled as an abuser because my ex wants to screw someone else. 

Whatever it takes i will clear my name and secure the contact I am entitled to with my daughter.

Nick
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#2
Hi Nick, and welcome.

Sorry to read you've been given such a crap time. We're all here because of our children so if you've any questions then ask away.
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