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advice needed please
#1
hi

i have a 16month old daughter which i am named on birth certificate, my girlfriend and i have split up and she has a 3 year old which i have been in her life since birth but she is not mine but she calls me daddy and i class her as my daughter. Since the split my ex has handed the baby over to me and is currently arranging the child benefit to be paid to me so we have had to arrange child care etc for her. where do i go legally in this situation as she amy move away and i dont want her to be ripped apart from family again but i know she can still take her back but she gave her up and i want to protect this happening again and can i do anything about the 3 year old whom isnt mine, she has not stopped me seeing her...yet!

any advice gratefully received

thanks
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#2
(11-17-2016, 12:28 PM)Meddy Wrote: hi

i have a 16month old daughter which i am named on birth certificate, my girlfriend and i have split up and she has a 3 year old which i have been in her life since birth but she is not mine but she calls me daddy and i class her as my daughter. Since the split my ex has handed the baby over to me and is currently arranging the child benefit to be paid to me so we have had to arrange child care etc for her. where do i go legally in this situation as she amy move away and i dont want her to be ripped apart from family again but i know she can still take her back but she gave her up and i want to protect this happening again and can i do anything about the 3 year old whom isnt mine, she has not stopped me seeing her...yet!

any advice gratefully received

thanks

First, its not up to your ex to arrange for Child Benefit to be changed over, ONLY you can do this, by making a claim.

They will write to your ex (if she currently gets it), and give her 28 days to respond to your claim that it should be paid to you.

If disputed, you need to evidence to them you have the child over 50% of the time.

If you and your ex can agree that the child lives with you and on any contact arrangements, then you have a Direct Route to Court, for what is called a Consent Order. This can set out any financial agreements, who provides what etc, anything relating to the child that you agree on.

If your ex does not want a consent order, then either Mediation or some other Formal Document is needed, so you can show Child Benefit you are the Resident Parent.

Outside of Consent Order, the only way to court for a Child Arrangement Order in this case is if you
a, have a Mediation "no show" letter
b, have a Mediation "deadlock" letter
c, A Mediation agreement is done and not followed.

Regarding the older child, you might be a few years short of getting PR under "Father by Assumption" rules, but if your ex agreed (and the natural father if known) then you could get PR by agreement. That would then mean you have a legal right to contact, but for Child Support, you would still have no liability (only the natural father does).  As the Resident Parent, your ex would still have to be willing for her to accept anything from you, by way of gifts, cloths, present or even money with or without you having PR.

If the older child is not having contact with her real dad, then even without you having PR, your ex could allow you to look after her now and then (the same as she can ask anyone to baby sit), to spend time with your daughter as they are sisters.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Hi Meddy, thanks for sharing your story.

Are you coping well?

Stay in touch!
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#4
(11-18-2016, 08:53 AM)StartingLifeAgain Wrote: Hi Meddy,  thanks for sharing your story.

Are you coping well?

Stay in touch!

thanks for all the advice, im doing ok thanks
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