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Is it worth going to court?
#1
This has probably been asked loads of times before, so sorry in advance!

I left my ex wife when she was 6 months pregnant and things haven't been good, she's bitter and resentful. We have little girl who is a year old, I have been having weekly access since she was born although it's not been easy. She only let me have 1.5 hours each week until she was 3mths and then 2hrs a week until she was 9mths (she said I could have 3 hours twice a week but I didn't want that as she lives about an hour away from me and there isn't a lot I could do with my daughter for 3 hours twice a week round where she lives). We've now increased it (slowly) to 8 hours once a week (9-5).

However, I work shifts and my ex is back at work and pays for my daughter to be in nursery 3 days a week when she's at work (she gets tax credits towards it so I don't pay anything, I pay maintenance and that's enough). When she was off I saw my daughter every week and she worked around my shifts but now she won't let me take my daughter out of nursery, she keeps saying it's a routine, it's good for her social and educational development and all that rubbish - surely spending time with her Dad is more important?? I also want overnight contact but she keeps saying no, claiming she's still breastfeeding her (I can't prove she's not).

Basically I'm now seeing her a couple of times a month at most with my shifts, my ex keeps telling me to either change my role at work and get regular days off but I don't see why I should, or tells me to take a couple of regular days off a month so I can see my daughter outside of her nursery days but again I don't see why I should - surely it's up to me what I chose to do with my leave??

I just wondered, if I take her to family court what's the likelihood the court will force her to allow me to take my daughter out of nursery? It won't be on a regular day once a week because of my shifts, so apparently according to my ex she'll still have to pay for that day even if my daughter doesn't go in because she has to pay for regular set days - not sure that's true. Also will I get overnights?
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#2
(11-17-2016, 03:58 PM)BigBaz Wrote: This has probably been asked loads of times before, so sorry in advance!

I left my ex wife when she was 6 months pregnant and things haven't been good, she's bitter and resentful. We have little girl who is a year old, I have been having weekly access since she was born although it's not been easy. She only let me have 1.5 hours each week until she was 3mths and then 2hrs a week until she was 9mths (she said I could have 3 hours twice a week but I didn't want that as she lives about an hour away from me and there isn't a lot I could do with my daughter for 3 hours twice a week round where she lives). We've now increased it (slowly) to 8 hours once a week (9-5).

However, I work shifts and my ex is back at work and pays for my daughter to be in nursery 3 days a week when she's at work (she gets tax credits towards it so I don't pay anything, I pay maintenance and that's enough). When she was off I saw my daughter every week and she worked around my shifts but now she won't let me take my daughter out of nursery, she keeps saying it's a routine, it's good for her social and educational development and all that rubbish - surely spending time with her Dad is more important?? I also want overnight contact but she keeps saying no, claiming she's still breastfeeding her (I can't prove she's not).

Basically I'm now seeing her a couple of times a month at most with my shifts, my ex keeps telling me to either change my role at work and get regular days off but I don't see why I should, or tells me to take a couple of regular days off a month so I can see my daughter outside of her nursery days but again I don't see why I should - surely it's up to me what I chose to do with my leave??

I just wondered, if I take her to family court what's the likelihood the court will force her to allow me to take my daughter out of nursery? It won't be on a regular day once a week because of my shifts, so apparently according to my ex she'll still have to pay for that day even if my daughter doesn't go in because she has to pay for regular set days - not sure that's true. Also will I get overnights?

I am not seeing a Direct route to Court on this one. You need to use Mediation and either
a, get a letter showing her no show
b, get a letter staying "deadlock"
c, get a Mediation Agreement in place, and it then not be followed

before you can go to Court.

There is a few details missing, so I am only going to comment in general terms.

Assumptions are made that a child needs "Quality Time" with both parents, unless evidence exists to say otherwise (Child Protection/Welfare).
Only from 10 are "wishes and desires" of the child considered.

For a child under 2, the normal is 4-6 hours a week, what might be over 1 or 2 days. This is due to government guidelines towards encouraging breastfeeding, so unless its by agreement your not going to get staying contact till then.

Due to distance, your going to be getting more towards typical contact, along the lines of Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, as well as up to half school holidays. This is 6.5 weeks a year, so a 4 week option (if you work) is a week at Easter and Christmas, and 2 weeks in the Summer), perhaps with a separate weekend as well.

What are court is looking for it it goes that way, is that your being reasonable and its giving BOTH parents Quality Time. Orders are made around the none resident parents availability, and the Resident Parents preferred times have no bearing on this.

While a normal timetable is over 2 weeks, it can be over any number of weeks, to fit in with your shift patten.

Counts look favourably on parents asking for time when the other parent is using Child Care, and with your limited availability (what your ex is aware of I am sure) she is trying to create routines to obstruct you getting the contact the child has a right to with you. You just need to get it across to the Judge that you BOTH have responsibilities to the child, and you want them to make an order so that you can carry out yours.

Normally Nursery sessions are subject to no more than 28 days notice needed to cancel.

While money changing hands has no bearing on a case, when arrangements are made, they are considered as part of the Child Support Process, and in your case it will go down, once you get Staying Contact.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Thanks Mark. She keeps on about mediation but I don't want to, I'd rather take it straight to court and get an order but sounds like that's not going to happen. Regarding the nursery, she's said if I have my daughter on a regular nursery day she'll cancel that day and not have to pay but because I can't do that and it'll be a different day each week or so she can't and so has to pay but it seems like you're saying the court would overlook that and would agree to me taking her out even if my ex has to still pay £50 or whatever for that day?
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#4
(11-17-2016, 09:11 PM)BigBaz Wrote: Thanks Mark. She keeps on about mediation but I don't want to, I'd rather take it straight to court and get an order but sounds like that's not going to happen. Regarding the nursery, she's said if I have my daughter on a regular nursery day she'll cancel that day and not have to pay but because I can't do that and it'll be a different day each week or so she can't and so has to pay but it seems like you're saying the court would overlook that and would agree to me taking her out even if my ex has to still pay £50 or whatever for that day?

You need to have your arrangments on a regular rolling timetable.  This then means she can book/cancel days in advance.
No Court is going to make an Order where the arrangments are not on a set timetable.

Are you on a set shift patten, or it your rota down on a week by week basis?
If you can tell me the shift patten it will help me advise you better. If you want this not to be public, click on my ID and send it as a Private Message.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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