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Contact with my child
#1
Hi,

I'm so glad I I came across this site as I have tried to get help everywhere and no real answers. 

Me and my ex partner split over a year ago and have a 2 year old who I love more than anything and miss loads  . Up until  recently we have had mutal agreement in place with regards to me having contact with my son and all was pretty  flexible and although we had disagrements we where able to always get on. Then last week I was supposed to collect my son and asked to collect some other personal possessions of mine but me and her father has a disagrement and the police was called and I was arrested on suspicion of common assault which I was later released with no further action. Since this incident occurred she has text me saying she wishes for no further contact with me. I have tried texting numerous times regarding my son and contact with him but no reply at all as to his wellbeing. After not seeing my son for a week I collected him from preschool and text her to inform her that I would like to spend time with him as I always do on that day and he was returned to pre school 2 days later and she can collect him from thier she agreed to talk to me but then changed her mind I assume sue to her parents intervention. She has approached  a soliciter and I have received a letter advising that under the legal aid provisions she will be instructing for me to return my child to her immediately and if I didn't do this they would apply to the court immediately  for  action  to be taken. They have also said they will be sending  me further letters with regard to my behavior towards her to which I don't know why?  Stuff has been exchanged in text in the past nasty words but no domestic violence at all just texting her to find out about my son and when I will see him since she asked for no contact. 

I'm am currently not able to pay for a solicitor due to lack of money and don't belive I am entitled to legal aid. I feel like they have the upper hand as she seems to be getting legal aid for some reason and will do all she can to stop me. I feel like I'm stuck and can't do nothing to see my son which is very upsetting and stressful for me right now. I have already arranged mediation and I am hoping this will help. 

Any advise as to what steps I could take to ensure I can see my son at all and eventually on a 50/50 basis  Also if it end up going to court I was looking at representing myself or taking out loans as a last resort to ensure I am part of his life. Im just very unsure as to the best direction to go? 


Thank you
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#2
(12-02-2016, 07:54 AM)Dadhl Wrote: Hi,

I'm so glad I I came across this site as I have tried to get help everywhere and no real answers. 

Me and my ex partner split over a year ago and have a 2 year old who I love more than anything and miss loads  . Up until  recently we have had mutal agreement in place with regards to me having contact with my son and all was pretty  flexible and although we had disagrements we where able to always get on. Then last week I was supposed to collect my son and asked to collect some other personal possessions of mine but me and her father has a disagrement and the police was called and I was arrested on suspicion of common assault which I was later released with no further action. Since this incident occurred she has text me saying she wishes for no further contact with me. I have tried texting numerous times regarding my son and contact with him but no reply at all as to his wellbeing. After not seeing my son for a week I collected him from preschool and text her to inform her that I would like to spend time with him as I always do on that day and he was returned to pre school 2 days later and she can collect him from thier she agreed to talk to me but then changed her mind I assume sue to her parents intervention. She has approached  a soliciter and I have received a letter advising that under the legal aid provisions she will be instructing for me to return my child to her immediately and if I didn't do this they would apply to the court immediately  for  action  to be taken. They have also said they will be sending  me further letters with regard to my behavior towards her to which I don't know why?  Stuff has been exchanged in text in the past nasty words but no domestic violence at all just texting her to find out about my son and when I will see him since she asked for no contact. 

I'm am currently not able to pay for a solicitor due to lack of money and don't belive I am entitled to legal aid. I feel like they have the upper hand as she seems to be getting legal aid for some reason and will do all she can to stop me. I feel like I'm stuck and can't do nothing to see my son which is very upsetting and stressful for me right now. I have already arranged mediation and I am hoping this will help. 

Any advise as to what steps I could take to ensure I can see my son at all and eventually on a 50/50 basis  Also if it end up going to court I was looking at representing myself or taking out loans as a last resort to ensure I am part of his life. Im just very unsure as to the best direction to go? 


Thank you
Reply
#3
(12-02-2016, 07:54 AM)Dadhl Wrote: Hi,

I'm so glad I I came across this site as I have tried to get help everywhere and no real answers. 

Me and my ex partner split over a year ago and have a 2 year old who I love more than anything and miss loads  . Up until  recently we have had mutal agreement in place with regards to me having contact with my son and all was pretty  flexible and although we had disagrements we where able to always get on. Then last week I was supposed to collect my son and asked to collect some other personal possessions of mine but me and her father has a disagrement and the police was called and I was arrested on suspicion of common assault which I was later released with no further action. Since this incident occurred she has text me saying she wishes for no further contact with me. I have tried texting numerous times regarding my son and contact with him but no reply at all as to his wellbeing. After not seeing my son for a week I collected him from preschool and text her to inform her that I would like to spend time with him as I always do on that day and he was returned to pre school 2 days later and she can collect him from thier she agreed to talk to me but then changed her mind I assume sue to her parents intervention. She has approached  a soliciter and I have received a letter advising that under the legal aid provisions she will be instructing for me to return my child to her immediately and if I didn't do this they would apply to the court immediately  for  action  to be taken. They have also said they will be sending  me further letters with regard to my behavior towards her to which I don't know why?  Stuff has been exchanged in text in the past nasty words but no domestic violence at all just texting her to find out about my son and when I will see him since she asked for no contact. 

I'm am currently not able to pay for a solicitor due to lack of money and don't belive I am entitled to legal aid. I feel like they have the upper hand as she seems to be getting legal aid for some reason and will do all she can to stop me. I feel like I'm stuck and can't do nothing to see my son which is very upsetting and stressful for me right now. I have already arranged mediation and I am hoping this will help. 

Any advise as to what steps I could take to ensure I can see my son at all and eventually on a 50/50 basis  Also if it end up going to court I was looking at representing myself or taking out loans as a last resort to ensure I am part of his life. Im just very unsure as to the best direction to go? 


Thank you

The Solicitor is only trying to do their best for a client, however if you have PR, you have the Same Legal Standing.

The only way you can get legal aid unless its not someone with PR taking Court Action, is if there is Domestic Violence. This is often claimed to limit contact, at least while claims are investigated, and this means more Child Support is paid, what is they my Petition is on the Governments Website.

In terms of any claims she makes, your response is "it did not happen, where is the evidence". In a Court Process, ask for "Finding of Fact" Hearing.

Another key point in law, is when she allowed contact, everything up to then was considered in law, so having allowed it, a court will not recognise any historical claims from before that time, as a reason for no contact.

If she refers to the Police being called in any court process, you need to state that the claim was unfounded, as no action was taken.

Its not going  to happen getting Shared Care, thank the Welfare Benefit Reforms for that. The deciding factor on benefits is who exceeds 50%, and they get Child Benefit and can claim anything else they can. If you can show you was active up to separation, you might get 3-6 nights every 2 weeks.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#4
hi, if you do end up going to court yes represent your self and use a mc kenzie friend, i did ,worked out well, mothers do have the upper hand and it can be a hard battle , even when you get what you want, all you can do is be on best behavior and let every thing go over your head, what every is thrown at you,
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#5
Hi,

It's good that you have initiated mediation and I hope you can work this out without going to court.

I never had a chance for mediation because my ex partner refused straight away.

If you do not get it solved you need to apply to court but at this stage I would try to concentrate on mediation. If your ex partner is open for such you have a real chance to avoid going through lengthy court process.

As there are already allegations coming your way you now need to be very careful how you react and speak to your ex partner and family.

Try not to give them any more opportunity to make false allegations against you.

Let us know how you get on and all the best!

F.
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#6
Thanks for all your responses. Some very useful iinformation. I will keep you all informed of what is happened. Thankyou
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#7
(12-02-2016, 07:55 PM)seanflynn69 Wrote: hi, if you do end up going to court yes represent your self and use a mc kenzie friend, i did ,worked out well, mothers do have the upper hand and it can be a hard battle , even when you get what you want, all you can do is be on best behavior and let every thing go over your head, what every is thrown at you,


McKenzie Friends can help outside of the Court Room, but are only allowed in by Application, and even if they are, they also might not be granted right to speck for you. Only a Soliciter or Barister with a valid practising certificate has the right to speck for you in court.

In my own case, I had applied to vary the Child Arrangements Order, and my ex was granted Legal Aid, as she put in for a None Molestion Order 1 week before our First Hearing. My McKenzie was given right to speck for me, as my ex was represented. When her None Mole did not run on merit, her legal aid stopped.

While he was alllowed in at other hearings, he was not allowed to speck for me, as my ex was not represented (I was given leave to consult with him during the hearing). When a Judge is deciding on if they can speck for you, they can not normally allow it (unless there is for example Medical Reason backed up with evidance) where it will put the other side at a disadvantage.

There is 2 types of McKenzie Friend, Profesional (who charge you for their time), but the same rules cover Friends or Relatives.

If anyone reading this is thinking of using Profesional, bear in mind they often change upwards of £45 per hour, and travling costs, (or a set fee per month while a case is ongoing) so its important you know what they can do on the day in court might be limited, and you will not know that until you go in court, when the applicaiton they make to remain is considered.

(12-02-2016, 08:04 PM)Frisbos Wrote: Hi,

It's good that you have initiated mediation and I hope you can work this out without going to court.

I never had a chance for mediation because my ex partner refused straight away.

If you do not get it solved you need to apply to court but at this stage I would try to concentrate on mediation. If your ex partner is open for such you have a real chance to avoid going through lengthy court process.

As there are already allegations coming your way you now need to be very careful how you react and speak to your ex partner and family.

Try not to give them any more opportunity to make false allegations against you.

Let us know how you get on and all the best!

F.

This cases would never go to Mediation. She has claimed Domestic Violence, and therefore she will of been granted legal aid to get the protection of the court.

By her waving her exception to Mediation, it would be considered that she no longer needs the protection, so her Legal Aid would stop.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#8
Hi Mark,

Yes, I thought this too but I understand that he has already arranged mediation with his ex partner.

If she agrees to mediation than it would be good news for him because her allegations then would almost fly out the window.

I suspect she may have had a first meeting with a solicitor and may not yet be aware of all consequences.

If you find a mediator who accepts your case and if your ex agrees to mediation then use this chance.

It may not look very likely but it is now when the situation is fresh people need the help and unfortunately can't get it anywhere. Going to court should be your last Option.

All the best.
F.
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#9
(12-03-2016, 11:09 AM)Frisbos Wrote: Hi Mark,

Yes, I thought this too but I understand that he has already arranged mediation with his ex partner.

If she agrees to mediation than it would be good news for him because her allegations then would almost fly out the window.

I suspect she may have had a first meeting with a solicitor and may not yet be aware of all consequences.

If you find a mediator who accepts your case and if your ex agrees to mediation then use this chance.

It may not look very likely but it is now when the situation is fresh people need the help and unfortunately can't get it anywhere. Going to court should be your last Option.

All the best.
F.

This again is open for debate. The fact is going to Mediation will have a cost.

The fact is your going to have to pay something (even if this is a small contribution if you get Legal Aid), even if she does not attend in most cases.

Even if a Mediation agreement is done, it can not be enforced, it will only give you the right to go to court if not followed.

While everyone will have their own thoughts on this, mine is that any money spend on the Mediation route, would be better spent towards the £215 Child Arrangements Application fee (reduced if on a low income, free if on some means tested benefits). I would always go the court route, if you have a chance to.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#10
when i did mediation it was ordered through the court for us to try it, mediation cost me £100 a time plus lost of earnings.
Seemed i had to agree to all the terms that my ex set out, i attended twice before walking away, court cost me the same with my mc kenzie friend,. (who cannt speak for you, but can advice you what to say and help if you dont understand all the courts talk), my ex new i could afford to keep going to court as long as it took , a week after she agreed access with me having my daughter 6 days and nights in a fourtnight, next time in court an order was put in place.
Without the court order access would not have continued as it should , my ex has stopped me seeing my daughter on occasions, but the order has held it together
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