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Help Denied access Immediately :(
#1
I am hoping someone may be able to shine some light on my situation,

Me and my partner have been together for 2.5 years and have a son together, my ex partner has been with her husband for 3.5 years and has a child with him, me and my ex have a 5 year old daughter together.

Within the last month she has denied me access apart from round my mothers house (we do not get along) before that i had my daughter 1 night for a few hours then also overnight every friday.
Now i am unable to see her unless i go to my mums house and it isnt a nice environment for me too see my daughter as the feud between me and my mother is ever increasin (she is supporting my ex not me)

We are currently going through legal proceeding to get the access back, but it has recently come to light that they may be trying to build a case that my current partner is "CRAZY". She is not crazy and has 2 of her own children, she is on anti depresents but is mentally stable and well. My question to you is even if they had a good case (mainly lies but still) about my new partner, would this ever effect me having my daughter if she is always with me? I am scared that their lies will be believed and i will not be able to see my little girl because they hate my new partner that much

Please help a dad is desperate need

Thanks in advance
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#2
(12-11-2016, 02:43 PM)PAUL_1212 Wrote: I am hoping someone may be able to shine some light on my situation,

Me and my partner have been together for 2.5 years and have a son together, my ex partner has been with her husband for 3.5 years and has a child with him, me and my ex have a 5 year old daughter together.

Within the last month she has denied me access apart from round my mothers house (we do not get along) before that i had my daughter 1 night for a few hours then also overnight every friday.
Now i am unable to see her unless i go to my mums house and it isnt a nice environment for me too see my daughter as the feud between me and my mother is ever increasin (she is supporting my ex not me)

We are currently going through legal proceeding to get the access back, but it has recently come to light that they may be trying to build a case that my current partner is "CRAZY". She is not crazy and has 2 of her own children, she is on anti depresents but is mentally stable and well. My question to you is even if they had a good case (mainly lies but still) about my new partner, would this ever effect me having my daughter if she is always with me? I am scared that their lies will be believed and i will not be able to see my little girl because they hate my new partner that much

Please help a dad is desperate need

Thanks in advance

The fact is the Child has the right to quality time with both parents. Assuming you have PR, your on the same legal standing, unless a Court Order Exists.

Unless she can show Child Welfare/Protection Issues, you should be at least getting Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, and up to half school holidays.
You might get shared care, what adds in mid week contact. It is up to you where you take the child for contact, and it is none of your ex partners business who is with you. All she can do, is use Sarah's Law and if that flags up issues, then use the Court for a Prohibited Steps Order.

The fact your partner is taking medication and that is managing any issues she has, has no bearing on the case, as its you having contact.

It is up to your ex to prove anything, and as part of a court process, you can ask the Judge for it to be set down for "Finding of Fact". If she can not prove it, the court can not consider it.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#3
Thank you for you quick response it instantly makes me feel better, how do you mean by prove it, a few texts have gone backwards and forwards when she has been angry but both parties are as bad as each other, how "crazy" would she have to be for the judge to say, "no she cant be with you" baring in mind my partner has a child from a previous realtionship (she gets on fine with her ex and he is a policeman)
i know i am asking for a lot and if you cant help dont worry i just want to know what eveidnce would make a jusdge consider her ridiculous proposal

thanks again
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#4
(12-11-2016, 03:03 PM)PAUL_1212 Wrote: Thank you for you quick response it instantly makes me feel better, how do you mean by prove it, a few texts have gone backwards and forwards when she has been angry but both parties are as bad as each other, how "crazy" would she have to be for the judge to say, "no she cant be with you" baring in mind my partner has a child from a previous realtionship (she gets on fine with her ex and he is a policeman)
i know i am asking for a lot and if you cant help dont worry i just want to know what eveidnce would make a jusdge consider her ridiculous proposal

thanks again


While in Criminal law its innocent until proved guilty, in Family Court a Judge has a duty of care towards a child, and they have the Social Services or Cafcass involved in cases where someone brings up any Child Protection or Welfare issues.

At a First Court Hearing, if a child is known to Social Services, the Judge will want a Section 7 report, so they know of any concerns the local authority have and any past or current involvement. The Judge can put a Guardian in, so the child is represented (what would be Cafcass or Social Services) and if they do this, they will also grant them legal aid, for the child to have a Solicitor (instructed by the guardian) to look after their best interests.

You will both be ordered to do Position Statements. All you need to do is show that what your asking for is reasonable. The court knows the child has rights, and that your have responsibility's I am sure you are keen to carry out.

If she is saying there should be any restrictions on contact, she is going to have to prove to a Judge that the child is at risk if in your care.
Its up to you what you do in contact, and what she thinks does not come into it. It is good to see the child is in contact with your parents, but in law Grandparents in most cases have no rights. Its up to you if you want to take the children their during contact time, the same as its up to her if she wants to in her time.
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#5
Thank you this is all helping, i don't think she has any proof quite simply because my new partner is not crazy, this has all been fueled by my mother as she hates my new partner, i am hoping we can resolve this in court and like i said before my main concern is if the judge listened to my Ex in regards to my new partner, but none of the evidence she has is substantial, it is pretty much a few text messages and a few things she "may have said" this obviously doesnt make her the person they make her out to be and as long as a judge can see that i think iw ill be fine, unless you think otherwise? I personally cannot see a judge listening to her stories and even if he believes them, go against me and say i cant have contact because my partner may have problems (she doesnt)

Thank you if you have any more to add please do
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#6
UPDATE:

I have been to joint mediation where my daughters mother agreed to NO CONTACT due to lack of trust and has only given me one way in contact which is VIA my mother, however the problem is that me and my mum do not get on at all, and when i did try and visit her there arguments occured and she swore at me in front of my daughter, the mediator agreed with me and said it is NOT an acceptable place to meet and came up with lots of ideas to which my ex all declined, now i will have to take her to court but i am scared i will lose and not get contact? i am a good hard working man who has a family at home and just want contact with my daughter 1 day a week, please give me any hope in that i can come out of court better off? Her reasons are that in a year i have had to cancel a few times (i can think of 3) and therefore cannot trust me.

Please help

Thank you
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#7
(01-29-2017, 11:13 AM)PAUL_1212 Wrote: UPDATE:

I have been to joint mediation where my daughters mother agreed to NO CONTACT due to lack of trust and has only given me one way in contact which is VIA my mother, however the problem is that me and my mum do not get on at all, and when i did try and visit her there arguments occured and she swore at me in front of my daughter, the mediator agreed with me and said it is NOT an acceptable place to meet and came up with lots of ideas to which my ex all declined, now i will have to take her to court but i am scared i will lose and not get contact? i am a good hard working man who has a family at home and just want contact with my daughter 1 day a week, please give me any hope in that i can come out of court better off? Her reasons are that in a year i have had to cancel a few times (i can think of 3) and therefore cannot trust me.

Please help

Thank you

As per my first post on this, the normal is Friday till Sunday every 2 weeks, due to both parents needing to have Quality Time.

Was your cancels at short notice?
Posts made by me are my opinion and any factual information should be checked out. If you do not have a Solicitor, often your local CAB can get you some initial advice.
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#8
Hi,

To give some reassurance to you there are many dads on the forum who have been the target of there ex partner making horrible allegations against them and allowing absolutely no contact.

Once the case is looked at in court there will be almost certain a level of contact at the end of the proceedings.

You are on track and I believe in your situation there will be absolutely no other solution than a firm court order on contact.

Your new partner will be almost certain no party to the proceedings hence this should not play into. Worst case you will get a home visit from social service to assess your situation at home.

As you now know this is going to court ring social service and explain your situation. I would not go into any detail about the condition of your partner but ask them to do an assessment on your home situation and ask if there is anything you can do to change or improve. They will most likely send someone out to have a look and write a report about it.

This way you already have a expert opinion on your situation to show to the court.

What I don't understand and I am almost certain the judge will want to know as well is if your ex has any substantial evidence to support her case?

Just saying your partner is crazy will get her a bollocking in court and she should be ordered not to use any of such vocabulary in front of your child.

The welfare concern for your child is your ex and not you or your new partner.

F.
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