Time lost forever

[dansdad]

I am new to this but I thought the name of the forum was something that would help me reach out to see if there are any other dads feeling the same way.

I left home around 8 years ago now - my eldest son was 13 at the time and my daughter 6.

I love them both equally of course but there has always been something extra with my eldest.

I have had the usual "every other weekend" contact but it is never enough.

My eldest has now gone off to Uni - against all the odds but he did it! He is having the time of his life and nothing makes me happier.

But - I miss him. I missed out. I missed all that time when I am sure he missed me. We were close and always will be.

I feel a lot of pain - I try to think about something else and know I need to do that. But it creeps up. It creeps up when I think I have put it away. It always creeps up and hangs around. The guilt and feelings of missing him now and knowing I missed out on time I will never get back.

Anyone else have this?

[StartingLifeAgain]

Hey dansdad, thanks for joining.

I know how it feels. My daughters are still young, but I already feel like I am missing out on so much.

It's the hardest pill to swallow. And maybe we don't ever quite get over it.

But I have found the best thing to do is make best use of the future, and to not have any more regrets. All the time we dwell in the past, we cannot be making the most of the only time we have now.

Thanks again for sharing your story, it has made me think.

Jason

[Frisbos]

Hi,

Look at the amazing and wonderful bond you have with your children today and what you have achieved during all those years of hardship. About every other Dad looses contact with his child during the first 2 years after separation. You not just survived it 8 long years but you also created something beautiful.

Your children will now always be with you and they will always hold your hand when you grow old.

It never was about quantity. It was about the quality time you gave them.

F.

[dansdad]

(12-19-2016, 08:12 PM)StartingLifeAgain Wrote: Hey dansdad,  thanks for joining.

I know how it feels.  My daughters are still young, but I already feel like I am missing out on so much.

It's the hardest pill to swallow.  And maybe we don't ever quite get over it.

But I have found the best thing to do is make best use of the future, and to not have any more regrets.  All the time we dwell in the past, we cannot be making the most of the only time we have now.

Thanks again for sharing your story, it has made me think.

Jason

Thanks Jason

Your message helps and I am determined to make the most of things and support them as much as I can.

I have come to the conclusion that this is a price I pay for avoiding a much worse result for my children - a very unhappy home and witnessing arguments and violence towards me from my ex.

Seeing them happy is the main thing in life that's for sure.

C

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(12-19-2016, 09:09 PM)Frisbos Wrote: Hi,

Look at the amazing and wonderful bond you have with your children today and what you have achieved during all those years of hardship. About every other Dad looses contact with his child during the first 2 years after separation. You not just survived it 8 long years but you also created something beautiful.

Your children will now always be with you and they will always hold your hand when you grow old.

It never was about quantity. It was about the quality time you gave them.

F.

Thanks for this.

Quality is key but hanging about with them is what I miss the most.

Many thanks again.

C

[jamesbond]

I miss my daughter and the lost time. Depression was guaranteed. It does creep in to your head. Everyone gets it. If you think it's too much go to your gp.